The garden-that must be new plan'd- Shall to an arbour at the end, Continuing this fantastic farce on, But Thus fixt, content he taps his barrel, Exhorts his neighbours not to quarrel; Finds his churchwardens have discerning Both in good liquor, and good learning; With tythes his barns replete he sees; And chuckles o'er his surplice-fees; Studies to find out latent dues, And regulates the state of pews; Rides a sleek mare with purple housing, To share the monthly club's carousing: Of Oxford pranks facetious tells, And-but on Sundays hears.no bells; Sends presents of his choicest fruit, And prunes himself each sapless shoot; Plants cauliflow'rs, and boasts to rear The earliest melons of the year; Thinks alteration charming work is, Keeps bantam cocks, and feeds his turkies; Builds in his copse a favourite bench, And stores the pond with carp and tench. But ah! too soon his thoughtless breast By cares domestic is opprest; And a third butcher's bill, and brewing, For children fresh expences yet, And Dicky now for school is fit. "Why did I sell my cottage life,' Oh! trifling head, and fickle heart! And sick of pleasures scarce enjoy'd! ADVICE TO A LADY, [LORD LYTTELTON.] THE Counsels of a friend, Belinda, hear, Such truths as women seldom learn from men, Hard is the fortune that your sex attends; Women, like princes, find few real friends: All who approach them their own ends pursue; Lovers and ministers are seldom true. Hence oft from Reason heedless Beauty strays, And the most trusted guide the most betrays; Hence by fond dreams of fancied pow'r amused, When most ye tyrannize, you're most abused. What is your sex's earliest, latest care, Your heart's supreme ambition? To be fair. For this the toilet ev'ry thought employs, Hence all the toils of dress, and all the joys; For this, hands, lips, and eyes, are put to school, And yet how few have learnt, when this is giv'n, Nor make to dang'rous wit a vain pretence, Of those who claim it, more than half have none; Be still superior to your sex's arts, Nor think dishonesty a proof of parts: For you the plainest is the wisest rule, A cunning woman is a knavish fool. Be good yourself, nor think another's shame Can raise your merit, or adorn your fame. prudes rail at whores; as statesmen in disgrace, At ministers; because they wish their place. |