• Again, would your lordship a moment suppose— "Tis a case that has happened, and may be again— That the visage or countenance had not a nose, Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then? 'On the whole it appears, and my argument shows, With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, And the nose was as plainly intended for them.' Then shifting his side, as the lawyer knows how, He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes ; But what were his arguments few people know, For the world did not think they were equally wise. So his lordship decreed, with grave solemn tone, Decisive and clear, without one if or but— That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on, By daylight or candle-light-Eyes should be shut! Couper. Ex. 204. The Well of St. Keyne. A well there is in the west country, And a clearer one never was seen; A traveller came to the Well of St. Keyne ; For from cock-crow he had been travelling, And he sat down upon the bank Under the willow-tree. There came a man from the neighbouring town, On the Well-side he rested it, Now, art thou a bachelor, stranger?' quoth he, The happiest draught thou hast drunk this day, 'Or has thy good woman-if one thou hast— For, an if she have, I'll venture my life I have left a good woman who never was here,' But that my draught should be better for that, 'St. Keyne,' quoth the Cornish-man, many a time And before the angel summoned her, 'If the husband-of this gifted Well A happy man thenceforth is he, For he shall be master for life. 'But if the wife should drink of it first. God help the husband then!' The stranger stooped to the Well of St. Keyne, 'You drank of the Well, I warrant, betimes?' But the Cornish-man smiled as the stranger spake, 'I hastened as soon as the wedding was done, But i'faith! she had been wiser than I; Southey. A fellow, in a market-town, Most musical cried razors up and down, As every man would buy, with cash and sense. A country bumpkin the great offer heard : Poor Hodge! who suffered by a thick, black beard, With cheerfulness the eighteen-pence he paid, 'No matter if the fellow be a knave, Provided that the razors shave: It sartinly will be a monstrous prize.’ So, home the clown, with his good fortune, went And quickly soaped himself to ears and eyes. Being well lathered from a dish or tub, 'Twas a vile razor!-then the rest he tried- 'I wish my eighteen-pence within my purse!' In vain to chase his beard, and bring the graces, He cut, and dug, and winced, and stamped, and swore ; Brought blood and danced, blasphemed and made wry faces; And cursed each razor's body o'er and o'er! His muzzle, formed of opposition stuff, So kept it-laughing at the steel and suds : Not fit to scrape a hog!' Hodge sought the fellow-found him, and begun- 'Friend,' quoth the razor-man, 'I am no knave: As for the razors you have bought, Upon my soul, I never thought That they would shave.' 'Not think they'd shave!' quoth Hodgo, with wondering eyes, And voice not much unlike an Indian yell; 'What were they made for then, you dog?' he cries. 'Made!' quoth the fellow, with a smile,-' to sell.' Wolcot. Ex. 206. The Three Warnings. The tree of deepest root is found This strong affection to believe, When sports went round, and all were gay And looking grave, 'You must,' says he, Yet, calling up a serious look, His hour-glass trembled while he spoke : Of cruelty upon my name, In hopes you'll have no more te say; Well pleased the world will leave.' What next the hero of our tale befell, He chaffered then, he bought, he sold, The unwelcome messenger of fate Half killed with anger and surprise, 'So soon returned?' old Dobson cries. So soon, do you call it?' Death replies : Surely, my friend, you're but in jest ; Since I was here before, 'Tis six and thirty years at least, And you are now fourscore.' 'So much the worse,' the clown rejoined ; 'To spare the aged would be kind : Besides, you promised me Three Warnings, Which I have looked for, nights and mornings, And for that loss of time and ease, I can recover damages.' ; I know,' says Death, 'that, at the best, |