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and Trades will exert themselves, it cannot but produce a new Field of Diversion, an Instruction more agreeable than has yet appeared.


No. 429.

Saturday, July 12..


Populumque falfis dedocet uti


Hor. Od. 2. l. 2. v., 19.


From Cheats of Words the Crowd he brings
To real Eftimate of Things..


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INCE I gave an Account of an agreeable Set of Company which were gone down into the Country, I have received Advices from thence, that the Inftitution of an Infirmary for those who fhould be out of Humour, has had very good Effects. My Letters mention particular Circumftances of two or three Persons, who had the good Senfe to retire of their own Accord, and notified that they were withdrawn, ⚫ with the Reasons of it, to the Company, in their refpective Memorials.

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The Memorial of Mrs. Mary Dainty Spinfter.

Humbly Sheweth,

HAT confcious of her own want of Merit, aecompanied with a Vanity of being admired, she

had gone into Exile of her own accord.

SHE is fenfible, that a vain Perfon is the most infufferable Creature living in a well-bred Affembly.

THAT the defired, before fhe appeared in publick again, fhe might have Affurances, that tho" fhe might ⚫ be thought handfome, there might not more Addrefs of Compliment be paid to her, than to the rest of the Company.

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THAT he conceived it a kind of Superiority, that “one Perfon fhould take upon him to command another.


LASTLY, That the went into the Infirmary, to avoid a particular Perfon who took upon him to pro

fefs an Admiration of her.

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SHE therefore prayed, that to applaud out of due place, might be declared an Offence, and punifhed in the fame Manner with Detraction, in that the latter ⚫ did but report Perfons defective, and the former made. ⚫ them fo..

All which is fubmitted, &c.

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THERE appeared a Delicacy and Sincerity in this Memorial very uncommon, but my Friend informs me, that the Allegations of it were groundless, infomuch that this Declaration of an Averfion to being praised, was understood to be no other than a fecret Trap to purchase it, for which Reason it lies ftill on the Table unanswered.

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The bumble Memorial of the Lady Lydia Loller,


THAT the Lady Lydia is a Woman of Quality;

Tmarried to a private Gentleman.

THAT fhe finds herself neither well nor ill.

THAT her Hufband is a Clown.

THAT Lady Lydia cannot fee Company.
THAT the defires the Infirmary may be her Apart-

ment during her ftay in the Country.

THAT they would please to make merry with their Equals.

THAT Mr. Loller might stay with them if he ' thought fit.

IT was immediately refolved, that Lady Lydia was ftill at London.

The humble Memorial of Thomas Sudden, Efq; of the Inner-Temple.



HAT Mr. Sudden is confcious that he is too much given to Argumentation..

THAT he talks loud.


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THAT he is apt to think all things matter of • Debate.

THAT he ftayed behind in Weftminster-Hall, when the late Shake of the Roof happened, only because à Counsel of the other Side afferted it was coming down.

THAT he cannot for his Life confent to any thing.

THAT he ftays in the Infirmary to forget him• felf.

THAT as foon as he has forgot himself, he will • wait on the Company.

HIS Indifpofition was allowed to be fufficient to require a Ceffation from Company.



The Memorial of Frank Jolly.

HAT he hath put himself into the Infirmary, in regard he is fenfible of a certain ruftick Mirth ⚫ which renders him unfit for polite Conversation. THAT he intends to prepare himself by Abftinence and thin Diet to be one of the Company.

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THAT at present he comes into a Room, as if he were an Exprefs from Abroad.


THAT he has chofen an Apartment with a matted Anti-Chamber, to practise Motion without being heard. THAT he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps ⚫ himself before a Glass, to learn to act with Modera• tion.

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THAT by reason of his luxuriant Health he is oppreffive to Perfons of compofed Behaviour. THAT he is endeavouring to forget the Word • Phaw, Phaw.

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THAT he is alfo weaning himself from his Cane. THAT when he has learnt to live without his faid Cane, he will wait on the Company, &c.


The Memorial of John Rhubarb, Efq;



HAT your Petitioner has retired to the Infir mary, but that he is in perfect good Health, except that he has by long Ufe, and for want of Dif⚫ courfe, contracted an Habit of Complaint that he is

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• fick.

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THAT he wants for nothing under the Sun, but what to fay, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy ⚫ Malady of complaining that he is fick.

THAT this Custom of his makes him, by his own • Confeffion, fit only for the Infirmary, and therefore ⚫ he has not waited for being fentenced to it.

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THAT he is confcious there is nothing more improper than fuch a Complaint in good Company, in that they muft pity, whether they think the Lamenter ill or not; and that the Complainant must make a filly Figure, whether he is pitied or not.

YOUR Petitioner humbly prays, that he may have Time to know how he does, and he will make his Appearance.

THE Valetudinarian was likewife eafily excused; ← and this Society being refolved not only to make it their • Bufinefs to pafs their Time agreeably for the present • Season, but alfo to commence fuch Habits in themselves as may be of Ufe in their future Conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real Incapacity to join with their Measures, in order to have no Humourist, proud Man, impertinent or fufficient Fellow, break in ⚫ upon their Happinefs. Great Evils feldom happen to disturb Company; but Indulgence in Particularities of Humour, is the Seed of making half our Time hang in Sufpence, or waste away under real Difcompofures.

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AMONG other Things it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable Familiarities. No one is to appear in the publick Rooms undreffed, or enter abruptly into each other's Apartment without Intimation. Every one has hitherto been fo careful in his Behaviour, that there has but one Offender in ten

• Days


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Days Time been fent into the Infirmary, and that was for throwing away his Cards at Whift.

HE has offered his Submiffion in the following • Terms.

The humble Petition of Jeoffry Hotspur, Efq;



HOUGH the Petitioner fwore, ftamped, and threw down his Cards, he has all imaginable Refpect for the Ladies, and the whole. Company.

THAT he humbly defires it may be confidered, ⚫ in the Cafe of Gaming, there are many Motives which provoke to Disorder.

THAT the Defire of Gain, and the Defire of Victory, are both thwarted in lofing.

THAT all Converfations in the World have indulged Human Infirmity in this Cafe..

YOUR Petitioner therefore most humbly prays, that he may be restored to the Company, and he hopes to bear ill Fortune with a good Grace for the future, and to demean himself so as to be no more than chearful when he wins, than grave when he loses.

No. 430.

Monday, July 14.

Quære peregrinum vicinia rauca reclamat.


Hor. Ep. 17. 1. 1. v. 62,


The Crowd replies, Go feek a Stranger to believe thy Lies.


S you are a Spectator-General, you may with

A Authority cenfure whatfoever looks ill, and is

offenfive to the Sight; the worft Nufance of which kind, methinks, is the fcandalous Appearance of Poor in all Parts of this wealthy City. Such miferable * Objects affect the compaffionate Beholder with dif← mab

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