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are at all endurable is at a juvenile party where there is no one better, but then the wretched creatures expect you to dance with them at the next place you meet them, and when you might be dancing with that nice Captain have to undergo pennance in the shape of doing so with a miserable youth, who can neither dance, talk, nor do anything else.

Poor School-Boy! There is no hope for you. You may be great in the Cricket-field, of vast importance amongst your companions, but in the Ballroom you are sadly out of place. Mamas look black at you, young ladies don't care to dance with you, your seniors look down upon you. The first, because you are not a marrying man; the second, for reasons above stated; the last, because you are in the way. Oh, vanity! vanity! Why could you not confine yourself to your legitimate sphere, the Play-ground and the Class-room? In what moment

did you form so exalted an opinion of yourself as to imagine you were fitted to adorn a Ball-room? Your presumption meets with its just reward. You are introduced, but cannot obtain a dance. Some more tender-hearted fair, who happens to have a brother at school, with extraordinary compassion offers you a quadrille. Fortunate, indeed, are you to get that. Some may even promise you a Round-dance, and you may delude yourself with the hope of getting it. What is the end? When it comes she is not to be found, and at last, when the dance is half over, you see her, as the writer of the article puts it, dancing with some ginger-whiskered fellow. Very dull of perception must you be if all these things do not bring conviction home to you. Take my advice, and for the future confine yourself to Juvenile Parties and the like, where you will not get snubbed every other minute, and may perhaps dance a little. Everybody will be better pleased, and you, yourself, none the worse. If, however, you must go to such places fortify yourself beforehand with an unlimited stock of impudence. Notice neither the black looks of Mamas, the palpable hints of the ladies, nor the scowls of the gentlemen. Ask everyone to dance as if you were conferring the greatest honour on her, have no hesitation in taking a second if you want it, and don't be put off with an excuse, in fact, in "for a penny in for a pound" must be your motto. Of course, as your correspondent observes, these remarks do not apply to Cheltenham at all; fortunate, indeed, the College ought to consider itself for being situated in such a charming spot, where it is treated with so much kindness.

But all the above observations tend somewhat to the disparagement of ladies, while nothing has been said with regard to the gentlemen, and yet, as a rule, the conduct of the latter is decidedly more at variance with true politeness. The former may refuse to dance, or try to snub a gentleman, but it is his fault if he takes any notice of it beyond an internal laugh at her folly, or saying in the words of an old poet

"What care I how fair she be,

So she be not fair for me."

In

But has not the lady frequently a good excuse for behaving thus ? It is no slight exertion to dance twenty times in rapid succession. Ladies tire as well as ordinary mortals, and which is guilty of the greater breach of manners, the lady who refuses to dance when tired, or the gentleman who wishes to make her when she is so? It is in cases like these where politeness is put to the test, and without much consideration it may be said that the gentlemen are the most deficient in it. Again, if it is such a crime for ladies not to dance when asked to, is it not equally so for a gentleman to stand looking on when he sees lots of ladies not dancing who would be most happy to do so? And yet, every one knows how many examples may be seen of this, and here it is that lack of true politeness is most shown. fact, gentlemen go out to enjoy themselves utterly regardless of the enjoyment of others. They dance only when they can get particular partners, but never dream of doing so because a lady wishes to. Self, and the most intolerable self-conceit, are the mainspring of their actions. They have their favourite dances, reserve several for supper, and go home perfectly well satisfied with themselves, when, perhaps, they have been staring vacantly round the room during the greater part of the evening in spite of the entreaties of the lady of the house wishing them to dance. A fine specimen of humanity is your fine gentleman of the present day. Exquisitely dressed in garments of the most wonderful cut, a hat of the most

wonderful shape, and gloves of the most wonderful colour. Very modest and retiring in his behaviour, and not at all impressed with his own importance: oh, no; not at all. If there is any good quality he is lacking in, it certainly is conceit, one can only regret he does not possess a little more to make him perfect. Highly refined, too, for the most part. Never plays billiards, bets, or gets in low company, in fact, a perfect paragon, a blessing to society and the country generally; whose loss everyone would mourn as little short of a national calamity.

Society may be defined as the intercourse which takes place between different families in order that they may become acquainted. The two sexes are thereby brought into closer contact, and have better opportunity of ascertaining their mutual likes and dislikes. But in how small degree, its real aim, or what ought to be its real aim, is effected. Stiffness and constraint are the ruling elements. This is improper and that is improper: everyone is afraid of everyone else taking offence if they in any way try to break through the restraints and formalities imposed upon them; for two families to know each other well is next to impossible, except under exceptional circumstances. Evil reports about others are most eagerly received, in short, society is nothing more or less than a gigantic sham, in which each plays a part: it is an artificial atmosphere in which everything is of false growth, everything seen in a false light, while truth and sincerity are utterly banished. How little real friendship exists! How few remain constant in adversity! It is but a weak chain that forms the connecting link: the slightest breath of calumny may break it: the faintest sign of approaching calamity cause it to grow slack.

And what is the result of all this? The two sexes are as it were almost entirely separated from each other. Such a thing as love before marriage must be growing extremely rare, for how can you love that, the real nature of which you know nothing about. In ordinary affairs of life every means is used of ascertaining the nature of a thing before we actually purchase it. The title deeds of an estate are scrutinised, a horse is tried before he is bought, but in the most important step of all, in marriage, the least opportunity is given for correctly calculating consequences. Whatever good qualities a lady may possess, the Ballroom is not the place for them to be shown, and yet this is the only time when anything approaching to free and unreserved intercourse take place. The result is, that people pair off as it were almost in the dark. If the lady is pretty and agreeable (who cannot be agreeable when she likes), and the gentleman of good position and fortune, the bargain may be struck at once. Each is utterly ignorant of the real disposition of the other, and it is only after marriage that they can know whether they have drawn a prize or blank in the great lottery of life. The numerous engagements that are continually being made and broken off bear witness to all this, and still more so the Divorce Court, whose hands seem to be constantly full.

How absurd are some of the customs of the present day! The very gaiety has a spasmodic air about it, and seems forced and constrained. If you wish to see your friends, the house must be turned upsidedown, everything thrown into disorder, and all for one night. They come and they go, and next day, perhaps, leave a wretched piece of pasteboard, or most probably get some one to do so for them, and the whole thing is over.

So great is the inconvenience that you can only submit to it once a year, and this is called Society. You may meet a lady once and bow to her for an indefinite period afterwards, if she condescends so far, without ever having an opportunity of speaking to her. You go to a persons house, and the only thing you can do is to leave a card next day; whereas how much more sensible it would be to pay your respects to the lady of the house in propia persona, and keep up the acquaintance. Oh, Society, Society, schoolboys are not the only ones who have reason to be disgusted with thee. Fair to the outward view, thou art when tasted but bitterness and gall, even as the apples of Sodom and Gommorrah.

And now, Gentlemen, I will not trespass further on your space, or many more absurdities might be pointed out. I can only hope that you will be kind enough to insert these few hastily written remarks if they are not, as they most likely will be, deemed altogether unworthy.

F.

CRICKET.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,-In your first number there appeared a letter from "A Cricketer," in which, amongst other valuable hints, he explains the reason why the space behind the bowler's arm must be kept clear, or the batsman's sight of the ball is seriously interfered with. Now, I think we might with advantage adopt a practice in vogue at many of the "Great Matches," viz., of having two or three widths of white canvass stretched for a sufficient length in the background, in a line with the wickets. These might easily be put so as not to interfere with the field, and would entirely prevent all that waiting and expostulation we so frequently witnessed last season. I am, &c.,

ANOTHER CRICKETER."

THE ELEVEN RIBBON.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,-In the November number of the "Cheltonian" a correspondent asks if late members of the College, who were not in the Eleven, have a right to wear the Eleven ribbon. I have waited in hopes that this question would have been answered by some authority, either old or present. In default of any reply I beg to state my own impression. What is commonly called the Eleven ribbon serves a two-fold purpose-it distinguishes the present and old Cheltonians. Your correspondent "thinks that in a very short time that ribbon will have become so common as to be scarcely any distinction at all." This, I think, will be the very best thing possible, for surely among old Cheltonians no distinction should exist! and as to its becoming common, the commoner it gets the more will it be known and acknowledged, and the "red and black" will be as well-known as the “Eton blue." My own wish is, that the “Eleven Ribbon" would be more generally worn by Old Cheltonians. Apologising, gentlemen, for having trespassed so much on your space,

I remain, yours very faithfully,

FREDERIC R. PRICE.

THINGS TO BE SEEN WITH THE EYES SHUT.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

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Gentlemen,Allow me to add to the list of things to be seen with the eyes shut. About twenty years since an officer of the Royal Engineers asked me If I had ever seen the back of my eyes ?" Of course I said I had not. "Well, if you'll stand steady. and keep your eyes open, I'll show you," and he took a lighted candle from the table, bidding me turn towards a dark corner of the room, and waved it from side to side within six inches of my face. Now, shut your eyes" said he. Don't you see a sort of bright network on a dark ground ?" Yes, I do!" "Those are the veins at the back of your eyes!" Whether true or not I firmly believed it, and any of you can try the experiment yourselves after dark.

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Probably you have seen the book of "Spectres," published within the last six years, a collection of figures in two or more colours, with directions to look steadily at them for a few minutes and then either to close your eyes, or look up at a white ceiling, they appear reversed in colours. The best delusion of this kind that I ever saw was a drawing, on a sheet of foolscap, of a green-faced man in a flesh coloured coat, and if you looked very steadily, in a bright light, at this ghastly figure and then either close your eyes or turn the sheet of paper the other side up, you would see a proper flesh coloured face in a green coat.

Your obedient Servant,

THE MOTHER OF PAST, PRESENT, AND

FUTURE CHELTONIANS.

SCIENCE.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,-Amongst such a large number of boys as Cheltenham College now contains, I think it is almost certain there will be some who are fond of Science, and it seems to me that it would be a great benefit to them if a small portion, each month, of your valuable magazine was devoted to contributions of a scientific nature, such as a few chemical experiments, simple processes of photography, etc. Hoping you will give my suggestion at least a careful deliberation, I remain, Gentlemen, yours, etc.

A SUBSCRIBER. [We shall be most happy to insert anything that may be sent us on this subject.]-Edd. Chelt.

THE CHOIR.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,-A suggestion appeared in the letter of "G. J. P." in the June number of your Magazine, that the Choir should wear Surplices. Now although I do not at all agree with "G. J. P." in his reflections on the inefficiency of the Choir, yet this suggestion of his is not altogether unworthy of notice. See other public schools: the Choirs almost invariably do wear Surplices; Winchester, until the time of the present Headmaster,-who has just introduced themforming almost the sole exception. Why then should we be behind the others in this respect? The expense to the College would be nothing, for every member of the Choir would, of course, find his own Surplice. No one, I should think, would be narrow-minded enough to object to this improvement, on the ground of its being a "Popish Inovation," and no one can deny that it would add greatly to the solemnity of that service, which is now as near an approach to a full choral one as it well could be.

I remain, Gentlemen, yours etc.,
ONE NOT IN THE CHOIR.

THE ATHLETIC SPORTS.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,—As the time for Athletic Sports now approaches I hope an Old Boy may be allowed to offer a few suggestions on the subject.

Cheltonians have taken part in the University boat-race, cricket, racquet, and billiard matches. Excepting W. H. Croker we have had no representatives in the Inter-University Athletic Sports, and this one instance was only in the cricket-ball and hammer. Now, I would suggest a few alterations which might be effected in our programme. Cheltenham organized the first Public-school Annual Sports on October 22nd, 1853. The course then chosen, and since, I believe, always adhered to, was the one which could be the best seen from the Grand Stand. We have also kept the same distances in most races, the long flat always consisting of 1,000 yards, down to the year 1862, when it was changed to a mile. As other Public Schools have since followed our example, and instituted Athletic Sports, would it not be advisable to change such distances as 250, 400, 500, and 550 yards into those more in vogue, viz.: a furlong, quarter mile, and half mile? If this were done we should be able to compare the times of our winners with those of other schools, and judge the chances of Old Cheltonians gaining a place in University contests. It is unnecessary to alter our steeplechase distances, as, since no two courses in the world have exactly similar hurdles, hedges, and brooks, of course, no comparison of "time" can be made. I would, however, suggest the omission of such items as "throwing at the wicket," etc.

As regards our course for the long races. It has often been remarked by athletes, who have never seen the playground, that the times of our mile and two miles are much worse than those at any other Public School. That such is the case will be seen from the following table, which I have carefully compiled from records in the British Museum. The average time of all Public School mile races, which have been perfectly reported, are as follows, viz.—

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At Winchester there was no mile race until last year, when it was won in 4 min. 40 sec. Marlborough is the only school which has a two mile race. There the average time of 6 events at this distance is II min. 3 sec; whereas that of 4 at Cheltenham is II min. 47 sec. The reason that our times at the above distances are so bad is, without doubt, attributable to the fact that the further end of the playground is uphill, and has to be ascended once or sometimes more in these long races. This could be avoided by making an oval shaped course for these events along the top of the playground, and running in laps, as at the Universities and other schools. No correct time can possibly be arrived at without a perfectly leval arena and exact measurement of distances. That Cheltonians are not behindhand in shorter distances is evident from the fact that the quickest amateur 100 yards on record was run by C. H. Eccles ir our Cricketers' Race on April 29th, 1865.

Hoping that the above suggestions may be considered by the Stewards of this year's races, and apologizing for the length of my letter,

I remain, Gentlemen, yours faithfully,

"ATHLETE."

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

Gentlemen,-As the time of the "athletic sports" is now drawing near, may I suggest that in your account of them you would add the prizes awarded to each winner, and also the names of those benefactors who kindly give prizes to be competed for. Hoping this suggestion may meet with your approval,

I remain, gentlemen, your most sincere.

WELL WISHER.

To the Editors of the Cheltonian.

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Gentlemen,-In the last number of the Cheltonian," I read with pleasure, the sensible letter written by "A Visitor," in which he ably points out the great want which exists at the Athletic Sports in not having an enclosure in front of the Grand Stand for the accommodation of visitors, which myself and many others missed last year.

Allow me to suggest an aditional race, which would, I think, be a great improvement to the Sports, it is a race of One Mile over Twenty Flights of Hurdles, which they have at Oxford and other places. If a suitable prize was given, it would bring out the best runners in the College, as it is a race requiring strength, speed, and jumping-powers. Hoping this will be introduced at your next Sports,

I remain, yours etc..

ANOTHER VISITOR.

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