THE

TRIUMPHS OF THE GOUT.

SCENE, A CHAMBER.

Enter OCYPUS* lame, and leaning on the Nurse.

Ocyp. WHENCE, without wound, proceeds this

horrid pain,

That robs me of the affiftance of my feet?
While, like a bow-string by the forceful arm
Of fome bold archer ftrain'd, the cracking finews
Labour and stretch; and force me to complain,
That length of time but strengthens the disease.

Nur.

* Ocypus, the fon of Podalirius and Aftafia, was eminent for his ftrength and beauty, a great lover of hunting, and all gymnaftick exercifes. This young man, having been accuftomed to infult and deride whomfoever he faw grievously afflicted with the gout, telling them at the fame time that their pains were nothing, brought upon himself the indignation of the goddess who prefides over that distemper, and was at last, by the violence of the disease, driven to a recantation. Lucian had compofed an entire drama upon this fubject; but as only the beginning of this piece remains, I have tranflated it, and, with very little alteration in either, have made it a part of his other drama, whofe fubject is the triumph of the gout over phyfic.

5

Nur. Raife thyfelf up, my fon, nor bear fo hard,

Left, helpiefs as thou art, with thee I fall.
Ocyp. Lefs weighty then, to humour thee, I'll lean,
And rest upon my foot, and bear my pain.

For fhame it is, that youth fhould ask the aid
Of fuch a prating, old, decrepit wretch.

. Nar. Forbear, vain boy, thy fcoffing infolence.

Nor vaunt too much thy youth; for well thou know ft,

In ficknefs youth is impotent as age.

Be govern'd; for this arm hould I withdraw, Thou fall'st, while my old feet unshaken stand. Oryp. But if thou fall, through age thou fall it, not

fickness:

Old ageis weak, though prompt and willing everNur. Leave arguing; and tell me by what chance This pain hath got poffeffion of thy toe.

Ocyp. As in the courfe I exercis'd, awry

My ankle turn'd, and thence the pain ensued. Nur. Why, as the fellow faid, who careless fat Clipping his grifley beard, then run again. Ocyp. Or wrestling might I not the hurt receive,

When locked together were our grappling limbs?
Nur. A trusty champion by my troth thou art,
If all thy fury light upon thyfelf.
But this is a mere circle of evasions.

And I myself the like difcourfe have held
In former times, and try'd to varnish o'er,
Ev'n to my dearest friends, th' unlpeafing truth;

But now when every fwelling meriber speaks,
And burning dolours torture thy whole body -
Enter PHYSICIAN.

Phy. O where is Ocypus, illuftrious youth?
For lame, I hear, are his victorious feet.
And therefore to affift him am I come.

But fee! where, careless on the couch diffus'd,
Supine he lies! Heaven grant thee health, my fon,
And to thy feet restore their wonted strength.
Declare to me, O. Ocypus, the caufe

Of thy complaint: perhaps my powerful art
May for thy anguifh find fome quick relief.

Ocyp. Intolerable pain my foot confumes.

Phy. Whence came it? how? what accident? explain, Ocyp. Or in the ftraining race, or haply while

My gymnick exercifes I perform'd,

Some hurt from my companions I receiv'd. Phy. Then where 's the fore and angry inflammation? And why no fomentation on the part?

Ocyp. The woollen bandage I abhor.

Nur.

Alas!

How baneful is the pride of handsome looks!

Phy. What therefore must be done? fhall I lay open

Thy tumid foot? But, Ocypus, be fure

If once I feize upon it, I fhall drain,

At many bleeding wounds, thy arteries.

Ocyp. Put all thy new devices now in practice,
So from this horrid pain my foot be freed.

Fly. Then, lo! my fteely inftrument I draw,

This crooked, tharp, blood-thirsting intrument.

Ocyp. Hey! ho!

Nur..

Phyfician, what doft thou intend?
Would't thou with sharp incisions vex him more?
And, without knowing why, his foot endanger?
He hath abus'd thee with an idle tale.

For neither in the ftraining race, nor while
His gymnick exercises he perform'd,
From his companions did he hurt receive.
Then liften to my tale. Healthful he came,
And all unwounded home; and greedily
The evening feaft devour'd, and drain'd the bowl;
Then falling on the couch fecurely flept.
But at midnight awaking, loud he roar'd,
As fmitten by fome god: fear feiz'd us all.
And, Oh! he cried, whence came this dire mischance
Some torturing dæmon feizes on my foot.
Thus on his couch up-fitting all night long
His foot in fad folemnity he moan'd.

But when the cock's fhrill-founding trump proclaims
The dawning day, lamenting forth he comes,
And on my shoulder leans his feverish hand,
While his disabled footsteps I upheld.

All that he told thee is a forg'd device
To veil the fecret of his dire difeafe,

Which now in every limb begins to rack him,
Nor yet is able to extort the truth.

Ocyp. Old age is ever arm'd with mighty words;

Vaunting in fpeech, but impotent in action.
He, who when fick his nurfing friends deceives,

Like the ftarv'd wretch that hungry maftick *

-chews,

But cheats himself, and fofters his disease.

Phy. Thou cheatest all; now that, now faying this,
Confeffing pain, but not explaining what.
Ocyp. And how fhall I explain it? I indeed

Know that I fuffer pain; and that is all.
Phy. When pain, without apparent caufe, invades
The fwelling foot, a man may please himself
In hunting after this and that folution,

But can't mistake the nature of his evil.

And now hear this, howe'er unpleafing truth,
At length, with vengeance due, 'tis come upon thee.
Ocyp. It? what? alas! what terrible difeafe,

That needs fuch preface to its horrid name?
Nur. The gout, O wretched Ocypus, whofe pangs
And gnawing tortures thou didst once deride.
Ocyp. But what, O fkilful artist, what fay'ft thou?
Phy. Farewell, to ferve thee I neglect myself.
Ocyp. What accident or bufinefs calls thee hence?
Phy. Into a cureless evil thou art fall'n.
Ocyp. Must I then, ever lame, tormented ever,
Drag on a life of everlasting woe?

*Maftick is a great ftrengthener of the ftomach, and confequently promotes appetite; which to a man dying of hunger is fo far from being a relief, that it rather increases his complaint; this I take to be the meaning of this paffage.