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them as in a warm movable House, a Body round thy Body, wherein that strange THEE of thine sat snug, defying all variations of Climate? Girt with thick doublemilled kerseys; half-buried under shawls and broad5 brims, and overalls and mudboots, thy very fingers cased in doeskin and mittens, thou hast bestrode that 'Horse I ride'; and, though it were in wild winter, dashed through the world, glorying in it as if thou wert its lord. In vain did the sleet beat round thy temples; it lighted 10 only on thy impenetrable, felted or woven, case of wool. In vain did the winds howl, forests sounding and creaking, deep calling unto deep, — and the storms heap themselves together into one huge Arctic whirlpool; thou flewest through the middle thereof, striking fire 15 from the highway; wild music hummed in thy ears, thou too wert as a 'sailor of the air'; the wreck of matter and the crash of worlds was thy element and propitiously wafting tide. Without Clothes, without bit or saddle, what hadst thou been; what had thy fleet quadruped 20 been? Nature is good, but she is not the best; here truly was the victory of Art over Nature. A thunderbolt indeed might have pierced thee; all short of this thou couldst defy.

Or, cries the courteous reader, has your Teufelsdröckh 25 forgotten what he said lately about 'Aboriginal Savages,' and their 'condition miserable indeed'? Would he have all this unsaid; and us betake ourselves again to the 'matted cloak,' and go sheeted in a 'thick natural fell'?

Nowise, courteous reader! The Professor knows full 30 well what he is saying; and both thou and we, in our haste, do him wrong. If Clothes, in these times, 'so tailorise and demoralise us,' have they no redeeming value; can they not be altered to serve better; must they of necessity be thrown to the dogs? The truth is,

Teufelsdröckh, though a Sansculottist, is no Adamite: and much perhaps as he might wish to go forth before this degenerate age, as a Sign,' would nowise wish to do it, as those old Adamites did, in a state of Nakedness. The utility of Clothes is altogether apparent to him: nay 5 perhaps he has an insight into their more recondite, and almost mystic qualities, what we might call the omnipotent virtue of Clothes, such as was never before vouchsafed to any man. For example:

'You see two individuals,' he writes, one dressed in 10 'fine Red, the other in coarse threadbare Blue: Red says 'to Blue, "Be hanged and anatomised;" Blue hears with 'a shudder, and (O wonder of wonders!) marches sorrowfully to the gallows; is there noosed up, vibrates his 'hour, and the surgeons dissect him, and fit his bones 15 'into a skeleton for medical purposes. How is this; or 'what make ye of your Nothing can act but where it is? 'Red has no physical hold of Blue, no clutch of him, is 'nowise in contact with him: neither are those minister'ing Sheriffs and Lord-Lieutenants and Hangmen and 20 'Tipstaves so related to commanding Red, that he can. 'tug them hither and thither; but each stands distinct 'within his own skin. Nevertheless, as it is spoken, so 'it is done: the articulated Word sets all hands in Action; and Rope and Improved-drop perform their 25 'work.

'Thinking reader, the reason seems to me twofold: 'First, that Man is a Spirit, and bound by invisible bonds 'to All Men; secondly, that he wears Clothes, which are 'the visible emblems of that fact. Has not your Red 30 'hanging-individual a horsehair wig, squirrel-skins, and 'a plush-gown; whereby all mortals know that he is a 'JUDGE? - Society, which the more I think of it as'tonishes me the more, is founded upon Cloth.

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Often in my atrabiliar moods, when I read of pom'pous ceremonials, Frankfort Coronations, Royal Draw'ing-rooms, Levees, Couchees; and how the ushers and 'macers and pursuivants are all in waiting; how Duke 5 'this is presented by Archduke that, and Colonel A by 'General B, and innumerable Bishops, Admirals, and 'miscellaneous Functionaries, are advancing gallantly to 'the Anointed Presence; and I strive, in my remote 'privacy, to form a clear picture of that solemnity, 10 'a sudden, as by some enchanter's wand, the shall I 'speak it? the Clothes fly-off the whole dramatic corps; 'and Dukes, Grandees, Bishops, Generals, Anointed 'Presence itself, every mother's son of them, stand 'straddling there, not a shirt on them; and I know 'not whether to laugh or weep. This physical or psy'chical infirmity, in which perhaps I am not singular, 'I have, after hesitation, thought right to publish, for the 'solace of those afflicted with the like.'

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Would to Heaven, say we, thou hadst thought right to 20 keep it secret ! Who is there now that can read the five columns of Presentations in his Morning Newspaper without a shudder? Hypochondriac men, and all men are to a certain extent hypochondriac, should be more gently treated. With what readiness our fancy, in this shattered state of the nerves, follows out the consequences which Teufelsdröckh, with a devilish coolness, goes on to draw:

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'What would Majesty do, could such an accident befall in reality; should the buttons all simultaneously start, 30 and the solid wool evaporate, in very Deed, as here in 'Dream? Ach Gott! How each skulks into the nearest hiding-place; their high State Tragedy (Haupt- und Staats-Action) becomes a Pickleherring-Farce to weep 'at, which is the worst kind of Farce; the tables (accord

'ing to Horace), and with them, the whole fabric of 'Government, Legislation, Property, Police, and Civilised 'Society, are dissolved, in wails and howls.'

Lives the man that can figure a naked Duke of Windlestraw addressing a naked House of Lords? Imagination, 5 choked as in mephitic air, recoils on itself, and will not forward with the picture. The Woolsack, the Ministerial, the Opposition Benches - infandum! infandum! And yet why is the thing impossible? Was not every soul, or rather every body, of these Guardians of our Liberties, 10 naked, or nearly so, last night; 'a forked Radish with a head fantastically carved'? And why might he not, did our stern Fate so order it, walk out to St. Stephen's, as well as into bed, in that no-fashion; and there, with other similar Radishes, hold a Bed of Justice? Solace 15 of those afflicted with the like!' Unhappy Teufelsdröckh, had man ever such a physical or psychical infirmity' before? And now how many, perhaps, may thy unparalleled confession (which we, even to the sounder British world, and goaded-on by Critical and Biographi- 20 cal duty, grudge to re-impart) incurably infect therewith! Art thou the malignest of Sansculottists, or only the maddest?

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'It will remain to be examined,' adds the inexorable Teufelsdröckh, 'in how far the SCARECROW, as a Clothed 25 'Person, is not also entitled to benefit of clergy, and 'English trial by jury: nay perhaps, considering his high function (for is not he too a Defender of Property, and Sovereign armed with the terrors of the Law?), to a cer*tain royal Immunity and Inviolability; which, however, 30 'misers and the meaner class of persons are not always ' voluntarily disposed to grant him.'

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* 'O my friends, we are (in Yorick Sterne's 'words) but as "turkeys driven, with a stick and red

'clout, to the market"; or if some drivers, as they do in 'Norfolk, take a dried bladder and put peas in it, the ' rattle thereof terrifies the boldest!'

CHAPTER X.

PURE REASON.

It must now be apparent enough that our Professor, as 5 above hinted, is a speculative Radical, and of the very darkest tinge; acknowledging, for most part, in the solemnities and paraphernalia of civilised Life, which we make so much of, nothing but so many Cloth-rags, turkey-poles, and 'bladders with dried peas.'. To linger 10 among such speculations, longer than mere Science requires, a discerning public can have no wish. For our purposes the simple fact that such a Naked World is possible, nay actually exists (under the Clothed one), will be sufficient. Much, therefore, we omit about 'Kings 15 wrestling naked on the green with Carmen,' and the Kings being thrown: dissect them with scalpels,' says Teufelsdröckh; the same viscera, tissues, livers, lights, 'and other life-tackle are there: examine their spiritual 'mechanism; the same great Need, great Greed, and 20 little Faculty; nay ten to one but the Carman, who un'derstands draught-cattle, the rimming of wheels, some'thing of the laws of unstable and stable equilibrium, 'with other branches of wagon-science, and has actually 'put forth his hand and operated on Nature, is the more 25 cunningly gifted of the two. Whence, then, their so un'speakable difference? From Clothes.' Much also we

shall omit about confusion of Ranks, and Joan and My

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