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heart with adamant,- I turn'd instantly about did it just as well, by asking her if she had come to the lady
from Paris... No: she was going that route, But she had glided off unperceived, as the she said. Vous n'êtes pas de Londres ?. cause was pleading, and had made ten or a dozen she was not, she replied. ... Then Madame paces down the street by the time I had made must have come through Flanders. the determination; so I set off after her with a Apparemment vous étcs Flammande ? said the long stride, to make her the proposal with the French captain. -The lady answered, she was. best address I was master of; but observing she Peut-etre de Lisle ? added he. ... She answered, walk'd with her cheek half resting upon the she was not of Lisle. . . . Nor Arras?. , nor palm of her hand, — with the slow, short- Cambray?. , nor Ghent?. . nor Brussels ?... measur'd step of thoughtfulness, and with her She answered, she was of Brussels. eyes, as she went step by step, fixed upon the . . He had had the honour, he said, to be ground, it struck me she was trying the same at the bombardment of it last war ;-that it cause herself.--God help her! said I, she has was finely situated, pour cela, -and full of some mother-in-law, or tartufish aunt, or non- noblesse when the Imperialists were driven out sensical old woman, to consult upon the occa- by the French (the lady made a slight curtsey); sion, as well as myself: so, not caring to inter- ---so, giving her an account of the affair, and of rupt the process, and deeming it more gallant to the share he had had in it,-he begged the take her at discretion than surprise, I faced honour to know her name,-so made his bow. about, and took a short turn or two before the - Et Madame a son mari ? said he, looking door of the remise, whilst she walk'd musing on back when he had made two steps,-and, withone side.
out staying for an answer, danced down the street.
Had I served seven years' apprenticeship to IN THE STREET.
good-breeding, I could not have done as much. CALAIS. HAVING, on the first sight of the lady, settled the affair in my fancy, that she was of the better
THE REMISE. order of beings;-and then laid it down as a
CALAIS. second axiom, as indisputable as the first, that she was a widow, and wore a character of As the little French captain left us, Mons. distress, I went no further; I got ground Dessein came up with the key of the remise in enough for the situation which pleased me;- his hand, and forthwith let us into his magazine and had she remained close beside my elbow of chaises. till midnight, I should have held true to my The first object which caught my eye, as Jions. system, and considered her only under that Dessein opened the door of the remise, was general idea.
another old tatter'd desobligeant; and notwithShe had scarce got twenty paces distant from standing it was the exact picture of that which me, ere something within me called out for a had hit my fancy so much in the churchyard but more particular inquiry. It brought on the an hour before, the very sight of it stirred up a idea of a further separation :- I might possibly disagreeable sensation within me now; and I never see her more :--the heart is for saving thought it was a churlish beast into whose what it can; and I wanted the traces through heart the idea could first enter to construct which my wishes might find their way to her, such a machine; nor had I much more charity in case I should never rejoin her myself. In a for the man who could think of using it. word, I wished to know her name,-her family, I observed the lady was as little taken with -her condition ;-and, as I knew the place to it as myself; so Mons. Dessein led us on to a which she was going, I wanted to know whence couple of chaises which stood abreast, telling us, she came.
But there was no coming at all this as he recommended them, that they had been intelligence : a hundred little delicacies stood in purchased by my Lord A. and B. to go the grand the way. I formed a score different plans.-- tour, but had gone no farther than Paris, so There was no such thing as a man's asking her were in all respects as good as new. They directly ;—the thing was impossible.
were too good ;-
;--so I passed on to a third, which A little French debonnaire captain, who came stood behind, and forthwith began to chaffer dancing down the street, showed me it was the for the price. . . . But 'twill scarce hold two, easiest thing in the world ;-for popping in said I, opening the door and getting in. .. betwixt us, just as the lady was returning back Have the goodness, madam, said Mons. Dessein, to the door of the remise, he introduced himself offering his arm, to step in. . . . . The lady to my acquaintance, and, before he had well got hesitated half a second, and stepped in; and announced, begg'd I would do him the honour the waiter that moment beckoning to speak to to present him to the lady.-I had not been Mons. Dessein, he shut the door of the chaiso presented myself ;-so, turning about to her, he upon us.
cannot say that I rejoiced in my heart at the THE REMISE DOOR.
event, --and could not help telling her so ;-for
it is fatal to a proposal, madam, said I, that I CALAIS.
was going to make to you. C'est bien comique, 'tis very droll, said the lady, .. You need not tell me what the proposal smiling, from the reflection that this was the was, said she, laying her hand upon both mine, second time we had been left together by a as she interrupted me,-a man, my good sir, parcel of nonsensical contingencies, -c'est bien has seldom an offer of kindness to make to a comique, said she.
woman but she has a presentiment of it some There wants nothing, said I, to make it moments before. so but the comic use which the gallantry of a
Nature arms her with it, said I, for Frenchman would put it to,--to make love the immediate preservation. . But I think, said first moment-and an offer of his person the she, looking in my face, I had no evil to appresecond.
hend; and, to deal frankly with you, had 'Tis their forte, replied the lady.
determined to accept it. --If I had---(she stopped It is supposed so, at least ;-and how it a moment)- I believe your good-will would liave has come to pass, continued I, I know not; but drawn a story from me which would have made they have certainly got the credit of under- pity the only dangerous thing in the journey. standing more of love, and making it better, In saying this, she suffered me to kiss her than any other nation upon earth; but, for my hand twice; and, with a look of sensibility own part, I think them arrant bunglers, and in mixed with concern, she got out of the chaisetruth the worst set of marksmen that ever tried and bid adieu. Cupid's patience.
-To think of making love by sentiments !
IN THE STREET. suit of clothes out of remnants ;-and to do it
CALAIS. | pop-at first sight by declaration, is submit
ting the offer, and themselves with it, to be sifted I NEVER finished a twelve-guinea bargain so with all their pours and contres, by an unheated expeditiously in my lifc. My time seemed mind.
heavy upon the loss of the lady; and, knowing The lady attended as if she expected I should every moment of it would be as two, till I put go on.
myself into motion, - I ordered post - horses -Consider then, madam, continued I, laying directly, and walked towards the hotel. my hand upon hers
Lord ! said I, hearing the town-clock strike That grave people hate Love for the name's four, and recollecting that I had been little sake,
more than a single hour in CalaisThat selfish people hate it for their own, What a large volume of adventures may be Hypocrites for Heaven's,
grasped within this little span of life by him And that all of us, both old and young, being who interests his heart in everything, and who, 'ten times worse frightened than hurt by the having eyes to see what time and chance are very report ..
perpetually holding out to him as he journeyeth What a want of knowledge in this branch of on his way, misses nothing he can fairly lay his commerce a man betrays who ever lets the word hands on. come out of his lips till an hour or two at least -If this won't turn out something, another after the time that his silence upon it becomes will ;--no matter,—'tis an assay upon hunian tormenting! A course of small, quiet atten-nature ;-I get my labour for my pains,—'tis tions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague enough ;-the pleasure of the experiment has as to be misunderstood—with now and then a kept my senses and the best part of my blood look of kindness, and little or nothing said upon awake, and laid the gross to sleep. it-leaves Nature for your mistress, and she I pity the man who can travel from Dan to fashions it to her mind.
Beersheba, and cry, 'Tis all barren ;-and so it - Then I solemnly declare, said the lady, is: and so is all the world to him who will not blushing, -you have been making love to me all cultivate the fruits it offers. I declare, said I, this while,
clapping my hands cheerily together, that was I in a desert, I would find out wherewith in it
to call forth my affections :-if I could not do THE REMISE.
better, I would fasten them upon some sweet
myrtle, or seek some melancholy cypress to CALAIS.
connect myself to ;-I would court their shade, MONSIEUR Dessein came back to let us out of and greet them kindly for their protection ;the chaise, and acquaint the lady that Count de I would cut my name upon them, and swear -, her brother, was just arrived at the hotel. they were the loveliest trees throughout the Though I had infinite good-will for the lady, I desert; if their leaves withered, I would teach
myself to mourn; and when they rejoiced, I if I wanted not a servant, that it occurrced to would rejoice along with them.
me that that was the very thing. The learned Smelfungus travelled from Bou- A servant! that I do, most sadly, quoth I. logne to Paris-from Paris to Rome-and so -Because, monsieur, said the landlord, thicre on ;- but he set out with the spleen and is a clever young fellow, who would be very jaundice, and every object he pass'd by was proud of the honour to serve an Englishman. discoloured or distorted.-He wrote an account But why an English one more than any of them ; but 'twas nothing but the account of other? ... They are so generous, said the landhis miserable feelings.
lord. I'll be shot if this is not a livre out of I met Smelfungus in the grand portico of the my pocket, quoth I to myself, this very night. Pantheon :-he was just coming out of it.—'Tis But they have wherewithal to be so, nothing but a huge cock-pit,' said he. . . . I wish monsieur, added he. . . Set down one livre you had said nothing worse of the Venus of more for that, quoth I. ... It was but last Medicis, replied I;- for in passing through night, said the landlord, qu'un my Lord Anglois Florence, I had heard he had fallen foul upon presentoit un ecu à la fille de chambre. Tant the goddess, and used her worse than a common pis, pour Mademoiselle Janatone, said I. strumpet, without the least provocation in Now Janatone being the landlord's daughter, nature.
and the landlord supposing I was young in I popp'd upon Smelfungus again at Turin, in French, took the liberty to inform me I should his return home; and a sad tale of sorrowful not have said tant pis, but tant mieux.— Tant adventures he had to tell, wherein he spoke of mieux, toujours, monsieur, said he, when there moving accidents by flood and field, and of the is anything to be got;-tant pis, when there is cannibals who each other eat-the Anthropo- nothing. . It comes to the same thing, said phagi.'-He had been flay'd alive, and bedevil'd, 1.-Pardonnez moi, said the landlord. and used worse than St. Bartholomew at every I cannot take a fitter opportunity to observe, stage he had come at. ...
once for all, that tant pis and tant mieux, being I'll tell it, cried Smelfungus, to the world. two of the great hinges in French conversation,
You had better tell it, said I, to your a stranger would do well to set himself richt in physician.
the use of them before he gets to Paris. Mundungus, with an immense fortune, made A prompt French Marquis, at our Ambassathe whole tour; going on from Rome to Naples, dor's table, demanded of Mr. H- if he was
- from Naples to Venice, from Venice to H- the poet?--No, said Mr. H— mildly. Vienna,-to Dresden, to Berlin, without one Tant pis, replied the Marquis. generous connection or pleasurable anecdote to
It is H the historian, said another. tell of; but he had travell’d straight on, looking Tant mieux, said the Marquis.-And neither to his right hand nor his left, lest Love Mr. H, who is a man of an excellent heart, or Pity should seduce him out of his road. returned thanks for both.
Peace be to them, if it is to be found; but When the landlord had set me right in this heaven itself, was it possible to get there with matter, he called in La Fleur, which was the such tempers, would want objects to give it ;- name of the young man he had spoke of,-saying every gentle spirit would come flying upon the only first, that, as for his talents, he would prewings of Love to hail their arrival.-Nothing sume to say nothing-monsieur was the best would the souls of Smelfungus and Mundungus judge what would suit him ; but for the fidelity hear of but fresh anthems of joy, fresh raptures of La Fleur, he would stand responsible in all of love, and fresh congratulations of their com- he was worth. mon felicity.-I heartily pity them : they have The landlord delivered this in a manner which brought up no faculties for this work : and was | instantly set my mind to the business I was the happiest mansion in heaven to be allotted upon ;-and La Fleur, who stood waiting withto Smelfungus and Mundungus, they would be out, in that breathless expectation which every so far from being happy that the souls of Smel- son of Nature of us have felt in our turns, came fungus and Mundungus would do penance there in. to all eternity!
I am apt to be taken with all kinds of people at MONTRIUL.
first sight, but never more so than when a poor I HAD once lost my portmanteau from behind devil comes to offer his service to so poor a devil my chaise, and twice got out in the rain, and as myself; and, as I know this weakness, I one of the times up to the knees in dirt, to help always suffer my judgment to draw back somethe postillion to tie it on, without being able to thing on that very account-and this, more or find out what was wanting.-Nor was it till Iless, according to the mood I am in, and the got to Montriul, upon the landlord's asking me case; and, I may add, the gender, too, of the
person I am to govern. i Vide S's Travels.
When La Fleur entered the room, after every discount I could make, for my soul, the genuine out of the reach of everything; for whether it look and air of the fellow determined the matter was hunger or thirst, or cold or nakedness, or at once in his favour; so I hired him first,—and watchings, or whatever stripes of ill-luck La then began to inquire what he could do.-But I Fleur met with in our journeyings, there was no shall find out his talents, quoth I, as I want index in his physiognomy to point them out by, them ;-besides, a Frenchman can do everything. -he was eternally the same : so, if I am a piece
Now poor La Fleur could do nothing but beat of a philosopher, which Satan now and then a drum and play a march or two upon the fife. puts it into my head I am, it always mortifies I was determined to make his talents do; and the pride of the conceit, by reflecting how much can't say my weakness was ever so insulted by I owe to the complexional philosophy of this my wisdom as in the attempt.
poor fellow, for shaming me into one of a better La Fleur had set out early in life, as gallantly kind. With all this, La Fleur had a small cast as most Frenchmen do, with serving for a few of the coxcomb ;-but he secmed at first sight years; at the end of which, having satisfied the to be more a coxcomb of nature than of art; and sentiment, and found, moreover, that the before I had been three days in Paris with him, honour of beating a drum was likely to be its he seemed to be no coxcomb at all. own reward, as it opened no further track of glory to him,-he retired à ses terres, and lived
MONTRIUL. comme il plaisoit à Dieu ;--that is to say, upon nothing
The next morning, La Fleur entering upon his . . And so, quoth Wisdom, you have hired employment, I delivered to him the key of my a drummer to attend you, in this tour of yours portmanteau, with an inventory of my lialf a through France and Italy!... Pshaw! said I, dozen shirts and a silk pair of breeches; and bid and do not one-half of our gentry go with a him fasten all upon the chaise,-get the horses humdrum compagnon du voyage the same round, put to, -and desire the landlord to come in with and have the piper and the Devil and all to pay his bill. besides? When a man can extricate himself C'est un garçon de bonne fortune, said the with an equiroque in such an unequal match,-he landlord, pointing through the window to half is not ill off. . . . But you can do something a dozen wenches who had got round about La else, La Fleur? said I. ... O qu'oui ! he could Fleur, and were most kindly taking their leave make spatterdashes, and could play a little upon of him as the postillion was leading out the the fiddle.—Bravo! said Wisdom- -Why, I horses. La Flour kissed all their hands round play a bass myself, said I ;-we shall do very and round again, and thrice he wiped his eyes, well. You can shave, and dress a wig a little, and thrice he promised he would bring them all La Fleur ?-He had all the dispositions in the pardons from Rome. world. . . . It is enough for Heaven, said I, The young fellow, said the landlord, is beloved interrupting him,-and ought to be enough for by all the town; and there is scarce a corner in ine.-So supper coming in, and having a frisky Montriul where the want of him will not be felt. English spaniel on one side of my chair, and a
He has but one misfortune in the world, conFrench valet, with as much hilarity in his tinued he, -'He is always in love.' . . . I am countenance as ever Nature painted in one, on heartily glad of it, said I; 'twill save me the the other, I was satisfied to my heart's content trouble every night of putting my breeches with my empire; and if monarchs knew what under my head. In saying this, I was making ther would be at, they might be as satisfied as
not so much La Fleur's éloge as my own, having I was.
been in love with one princess or other almost
all my life, and I hope I shall go on so till I die, MONTRIUL
being firmly persuaded that, if ever I do a mean As La Fleur went the whole tour of France and action, it must be in some interval betwixt one Italy with me, and will be often upon the stage, passion and another. Whilst this interregnum I must interest the reader a little further in his lasts, I always perceive my heart locked up --behalf, by saying that I had never less reason to I can scarce find in it to give Misery a sixpence : repent of the impulses which generally do deter- and therefore I always get out of it as fast as I mine me than in regard to this fellow ;-he can; and the moment I am rekindled, I am all was a faithful, affectionate, simple soul as ever generosity and good-will again ; and would do trudged after the heels of a philosopher; and anything in the world, either for or with any one, notwithstanding his talents of drum-beating and if they will but satisfy me there is no sin in it. spatterdash-making, which, though very good in
-But in saying this,--sure I am commending themselves, happened to be of no great service the passion,—not myself. to me, yet was I hourly recompensed by the festivity of his temper ;-it supplied all defects :
A FRAGMENT. -I had a constant resource in his looks in all difficulties and distresses of my own (I was going — The town of Abdera, notwithstanding De to have added, of his too); but La Fleur was mocritus lived there, trying all the powers of
irony and laughter to reclaim it, was the vilest A poor tattered soul, without a shirt on, and most profligate town in all Thrace. What | instantly withdrew his claim, by retiring two for poisons, conspiracies, and assassinations,- steps out of the circle, and making a disquali. libels, pasquinades, and tumults, there was no fying bow on his part. Had the whole parterre going there by day;—'twas worse by night. cried out, Place aux dames, with one voice, it
Now, when things were at the worst, it came would not have conveyed the sentiment of a to pass that the Andromeda of Euripides being deference for the sex with half the effect.
represented at Abdera, the whole orchestra was Just Heaven! for what wise reasons hast thou ! delighted with it; but, of all the passages which ordered it that beggary and urbanity, which are
delighted them, nothing operated more upon at such variance in other countries, should find their imaginations than the tender strokes of a way to be at unity in this? nature which the poet had wrought up in that I insisted upon presenting him with a single pathetic speech of Perseus, 0 Cupid, prince of sous, merely for his politesse. gods and men, etc. Every man almost spoke A poor little dwarfish, brisk fellow, who stood pure iambics the next day, and talked of no- over against me in the circle, putting something thing but Perseus' pathetic address, 'O Cupid, first under his arm, which had once been a hat, prince of gods and men!’ in every street of Ab- took his snuff-box out of his pocket, and generdera, in every house,-'O Cupid ! Cupid !'-inously offered a pinch on both sides of him: it every mouth, like the natural notes of some
was a gift of consequence, and modestly de. sweet melody which drop from it, whether it clined. The poor little fellow pressed it upon will or no,-nothing but 'Cupid ! Cupid! prince them with a nod of welcomeness—Prenez-en of gods and men !!—The fire caught, and the prenez, said he, looking another way: so they whole city, like the heart of one man, opened each took a pinch. - Pity thy box should ever itself to Love.
want one, said I to myself; so I put a couple of No pharmacopolist could sell one grain of sous into it,--taking a small pinch out of his hellebore,-not a single armourer had a heart box to enhance their value, as I did it. -Ho to forge one instrument of death ;-Friendship felt the weight of the second obligation more and Virtue met together, and kissed each other than of the first,-'twas doing him an honour, in the street ;-the golden age returned, and -the other was only doing him a charity;-and hung over the town of Abdera ;-every Abder- he made me a bow to the ground for it. ite took his oaten pipe; and every Abderitish
Here! said I to an old soldier with one woman left her purple web, and chastely sat hand, who had been campaigned and worn out her down, and listened to the song.
to death in the service,-here's a couple of sous —'Twas only in the power, says the Fragment, for thee. Vive le Roi! said the old soldier. of the God whose empire extendeth from heaven I had then but three sous left; so I gave one, to earth, and even to the depths of the sea, to simply pour l'amour de Dieu, which was the foothave done this.
ing on which it was begged.-- The poor woman
had a dislocated hip; so it could not be well MONTRIUL.
upon any other motive.
Mon cher et tres-charitable monsicur. WHEN all is ready, and every article is disputed There's no opposing this, said I. and paid for at the inn, unl you are a little My Lord Anglois !-the very sound was worth soured by the adventure, there is always a the money ;-so I gave my last sous for it. But, matter to compound at the door, before you in the eagerness of giving, I had overlooked a can get into your chaise, and that is, with the paurre honteux, who had no one to ask a sous wuns and daughters of poverty who surround for him, and who, I believe, would have peryou. Let no man say, 'Let them go to the ished ere he could have asked one for himDevil !'-—'tis a cruel journey to send a few self; he stood by the chaise, a little without miserables ; and they have had sufferings enow the circle, and wiped a tear from a face which without it. I always think it better to take I thought had seen better days. a few sous out in my hand; and I would coun- -Good God! said I, and I have not one single sel every gentle traveller to do so likewise ; sous left to give him. . . . But you have a thouhe need not be so exact in setting down his sand! cried all the powers of Nature, stirring motives for giving them—they will be regis- within me; so I gave him— no matter what, tered elsewhere.
- I am ashamed to say how much now, and was For my own part, there is no man gives so ashamed to think how little then; so if the little as I do; for few that I know have so little reader can form any conjecture of my disposito give : but as this was the first public act of my tion, as these two fixed points are given him, charity in France, I took the more notice of it. he may judge within a livre or two what was
- Awell-a-way! said I,-I have but eight the precise sum. sous in the world, showing them in my hand, I could afford nothing for the rest, but Dicu and there are eight poor men and eight poor rous benisse. — Et le bon Dieu vous benisse enwomen for them.
core, said the old soldier, the dwarf, etc. The