him more punctually and sooner than when left at the post-house. H-'s family greet you with mine,- -we are much together, and never forget you. Forget me not to the Baron, and all the circle; nor to your domestic circle. I am got pretty well, and sport much with my uncle Toby in the volume I am now fabricating for the laughing part of the world: for the melancholy part of it I have nothing but my prayers; so God help them. I shall hear from you in a post or two at least after you receive this. In the meantime, dear Foley, adieu, and believe no man wishes or esteems you more than your L. STERNE. XXXV.-TO THE SAME. whence I came.-Now my wife wants to stay another year to save money; and this opposition of wishes, though 'twill not be as sour as lemon, yet 'twill not be as sweet as sugar-candy. I wish T- would lead Sir Charles to Toulouse ; 'tis as good as any town in the south of France. For my own part, 'tis not to my taste, but I believe the groundwork of my ennui is more to the eternal platitude of the French characterlittle variety, no originality in it at all-than to any other cause; for they are very civil, but civility itself, in that uniform, wearies and bodders one to death. If I do not mind, I shall grow most stupid and sententious. Miss Shandy is hard at it with music, dancing, and Frenchspeaking, in the last of which she does à merveille, and speaks it with an excellent accent, considering she practises within sight of the Pyrenean mountains. If the snows will suffer me, I propose to spend two or three months at Barege or Bagnieres; but my dear wife is against all schemes of additional expenses-which wicked propensity (though not of despotic power) yet I cannot suffer, tho', by the bye, laudable enough. But she may talk-I will do my own way, and she will acquiesce without a word of debate on the subject. Who can say so much in praise of his wife? Few, I trow. Mis out of town vintaging, so write to me-Monsieur Sterne, Gen-guinea, you will not envy my situation. God tilhomme Anglais-'twill find me. We are as much out of the road of all intelligence here as at the Cape of Good Hope; so write a long nonsensical letter like this, now and then, to me, in which say nothing but what may be shown (tho' I love every paragraph and spirited stroke of your pen, others might not), for you must know, a letter no sooner arrives from England, but curiosity is upon her knees to know the contents. Adieu, dear H. Believe me, your affectionate L. STERNE. We have had bitter cold weather here these fourteen days, which has obliged us to sit with whole pagells of wood lighted up to our noses. "Tis a dear article, but everything else being extremely cheap, Madame keeps an excellent good house, with soupe, bouilli, roti, etc. etc., for two hundred and fifty pounds a year. XXXIV.-TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS. TOULOUSE, November 9, 1762. MY DEAR FOLEY,-I have had this week your letter on my table, and hope you will forgive my not answering it sooner; and even to-day I can but write you ten lines, being engaged at Mrs. M-'s. I would not omit one post more acknowledging the favour. In a few posts I will write you a long one gratis, that is for love. Thank you for having done what I desired you; and for the future, direct to me under cover at Monsieur Brousse's. I receive all letters through TOULOUSE, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 1762. DEAR FOLEY, I have for this last fortnight. every post-day gone to Messrs. B- and Sons, in expectation of the pleasure of a letter from you with the remittance I desired you to send me here. When a man has no more than half-adozen guineas in his pocket, and a thousand miles from home, and in a country where he can as soon raise the D-1 as a six-livre piece to go to market with in case he had changed his last bless you! remit me the balance due upon the XXXVI.-TO THE SAME. TOULOUSE, Dec. 17, 1762. MY DEAR FOLEY,-The post after I wrote last, I received yours with the inclosed draft upon the receiver, for which I return you all thanks. I have received this day likewise the box and tea all safe and sound; so we shall all of us be in our cups this Christmas, and drink without fear or stint. We begin to live extremely happy, and are all together every night, fiddling, laughing and singing, and cracking jokes. You will scarce believe the news I tell you, there is a company of English strollers arrived here, who are to act comedies all the Christmas, and are now busy in making dresses, and preparing some of our best comedies. Your wonder will cease when I inform you these strollers are your friends, with the rest of our society, to whom I proposed this scheme soulagement, and I assure you we do well. The next week, with a grand orchestra, we play the Busy Body; and the Journey to London, the my whole household, to pitch our tents for week after; but I have some thought of adapt-three months at the foot of the Pyrenean hills ing it to our situation, and making it the Journey at Bagnieres, where I expect much health and to Toulouse, which, with the change of half-a-much amusement from the concourse of advendozen scenes, may be easily done. Thus, my dear F, for want of something better we have recourse to ourselves, and strike out the best amusements we can from such materials. My kind love and friendship to all my true friends; my service to the rest. H-'s family have just left me, having been this last week with us; they will be with me all the holidays. In summer shall visit them, and so balance hospitalities. Adieu, yours most truly, L. STERNE. XXXVII.-TO THE SAME. TOULOUSE, March 29, 1763. DEAR FOLEY,-Though that's a mistake!-I mean the date of the place-for I write at Mr. H-'s in the country, and have been there with my people all the week. How does Tristram do?' you say in yours to him. Faith, but so so. The worst of human maladies is poverty-though that is a second lie; for poverty of spirit is worse than poverty of purse by ten thousand per cent. I inclose you a remedy for the one, a draught of a hundred and thirty pounds, for which I insist upon a rescription by the very return, or I will send you and all your commissaries to the D-1. I do not hear they have tasted of one fleshy banquet all the Lent: you will make an excellent grillé. P- they can make nothing of him but bouillon: I mean my other two friends no ill-so shall send them a reprieve, as they acted out of necessity, not choice. My kind respects to Baron d'Holbach and all his household. Say all that's kind for me to my other friends. You know how much, dear Foley, I am yours, L. STERNE. I have not five louis to vapour with in this land of coxcombs. My wife's compliments. XXXVIII.-TO THE SAME. I TOULOUSE, April 18, 1763. DEAR FOLEY,-I thank you for your punctuality in sending me the rescription, and for your box by the courier, which came safe by last post. I was not surprised much with your account of Lord ***** being obliged to give way; and for the rest, all follows in course. suppose you will endeavour to fish and catch something for yourself in these troubled waters, -at least I wish you all a reasonable man can wish for himself, which is wishing enough for you all the rest is in the brain. Mr. Woodhouse (whom you know) is also here; he is a most amiable worthy man, and I have the pleasure of having him much with me; in a short time he proceeds to Italy. The first week in June, I decamp like a patriarch with turers from all corners of the earth. Mrs. XXXIX.-TO THE SAME. TOULOUSE, April 29, 1763. MY DEAR FOLEY,-Last post, my agent wrote me word he would send up from York a bill for fourscore guineas, with orders to be paid into Mr. Selwin's hands for me. This he said he would expedite immediately, so 'tis possible you may have had advice of it, and 'tis possible also the money may not be paid this fortnight; therefore, as I set out for Bagnieres in that time, be so good as to give me credit for the money for a few posts or so, and send me either a rescription for the money, or a draught for it, at the receipt of which, we shall decamp for ten or twelve weeks. You will receive twenty pounds more on my account, which send also. So much for that. As for pleasure, you have it all amongst you at Paris; we have nothing here which deserves the name. I shall scarce be tempted to sojourn another winter in Toulouse, for I cannot say it suits my health as I hoped; 'tis too moist, and I cannot keep clear of agues here; so that if I stay the next winter on this side of the water, 'twill be either at Nice or Florence, and I shall return to England in April. Wherever I am, believe me, dear Foley, that I am yours faithfully, L. STERNE. Madame and Mademoiselle present their best compliments. Remember me to all I regard, particularly Messrs. Panchaud and the rest of your household. XL.-TO THE SAME. TOULOUSE, May 21, 1763. I TOOK the liberty, three weeks ago, to desire you would be so kind as to send me fourscore pounds, having received a letter the same post, from my agent, that he would order the money to be paid to your correspondent in London in a fortnight. It is some disappointment to me that you have taken no notice of my letter, especially as I told you we waited for the money before we set out for Bagnieres; and so little distrust had I that such a civility would be refused me, that we have actually had all our things packed up these eight days, in hourly expectation of receiving a letter. Perhaps my good friend has waited till he heard the money was paid in London; but you might have trusted to my honour, that all the cash in your iron box (and all the bankers in Europe put together) could not have tempted me to say the thing that is not. I hope before this you will have received an account of the money being paid in London. But it would have been taken kindly if you had wrote me word you would transmit me the money when you had received it, but no sooner; for Mr. R of Montpellier, though I know him not, yet knows enough of me to have given me credit for a fortnight for ten times the sum. I am, dear F-, your friend and hearty well-wisher, L. STERNE. XLI.-TO THE SAME. MY DEAR FOLEY,-I this moment received yours; consequently the moment I got it I sat down to answer it. So much for a logical inference. Now believe me, I had never wrote you so testy a letter, had I not both loved and esteemed you; and it was merely in vindication of the rights of friendship that I wrote in a way as if I was hurt-for neglect me in your heart I knew you could not, without cause; which my heart told me I never had, or will ever give you. I was the best friends with you that ever I was in my life, before my letter had got a league, and pleaded the true excuse for my friend, 'That he was oppressed with a multitude of business.' Go on, my dear F-, and have but that excuse (so much do I regard your interest), that I would be content to suffer a real evil without future murmuring; but in truth, my disappointment was partly chimerical at the bottom, having a letter of credit for two hundred pounds from a person I never saw by me, but which, out of nicety of temper, I would not make any use of. I set out in two days for Bagnieres, but direct to me to Brousse, who will forward all my letters. Dear F-, adieu. Believe me yours affectionately, L. STERNE. XLII. TO THE SAME. TOULOUSE, June 12, 1763. DEAR FOLEY,-Luckily, just before I was stepping into my chaise for Bagnieres, has a strayed fifty pound bill found its way to me; so I have sent it to its lawful owner enclosed. My noodle of an agent, instead of getting Mr. Selwin to advise you he had received the money (which would have been enough), has got a bill for it, and sent it rambling to the farthest part of France after me; and if it had not caught me just now, it might have followed me into Spain, for I shall cross the Pyreneans, and spend a week in that kingdom, which is enough for a fertile brain to write a volume upon. When I write the history of my travels-Memorandum! I am not to forget how honest a man I have for a banker at Paris. But, my dear friend, when you say you dare trust me for what little occasions I may have, you have as much faith as honesty, and more of both than of good policy. I thank you, however, ten thousand times; and except such liberty as I have lately taken with you, and that too at a pinch, I say beyond that I will not trespass upon your good nature or friendliness, to serve me. God bless you, dear F-. I am yours whilst L. STERNE. XLIII. TO THE SAME. MONTPELLIER, Oct. 5, 1763. DEAR FOLEY,-I am ashamed I have not taken an opportunity of thanking you, before now, for your friendly act of civility, in ordering Brousse, your correspondent at Toulouse, in case I should have occasion, to pay me fifteen hundred livres, which, as I knew the offer came from your heart, I made no difficulty of accepting. In my way through Toulouse to Marseilles, where we have been, but neither liking the place nor Aix (particularly the latter, it being a parliament town, of which Toulouse has given me a surfeit), we have returned here, where we shall reside the winter. My wife and daughter purpose to stay a year at least behind me, and, when winter is over, to return to Toulouse, or go to Montauban, where they will stay till they return, or I fetch them. For myself I shall set out in February for England, where my heart has been fled these six months, but I shall stay a fortnight with my friends at Paris; though I verily believe, if it was not for the pleasure of seeing and chattering with you, I should pass on directly to Brussels, and so on to Rotterdam, for the sake of seeing Holland, and embark from thence to London; but I must stay a little with those I love and have so many reasons to regard-you cannot place too much of this to your own score. I have had an offer of going to Italy a fortnight ago; but I must like my subject as well as the terms, neither of which were to my mind. Pray what English have you at Paris? where is my young friend Mr. F-? We hear of three or four English families coming to us here. If I can be serviceable to any you would serve, you have but to write. Mr. H has sent my friend W-'s picture-you have seen the original, or I would have sent it you. I believe I shall beg leave to get a copy of my own from yours, when I come in propria persona; till when, God bless you, my dear friend, and believe me most faithfully yours, L. STERNE. XLIV.-TO THE SAME. MONTPELLIER, Jan. 5, 1761. MY DEAR FRIEND,-You see I cannot pass over the fifth of the month without thinking of you, and writing to you. The last is a periodical habit the first is from my heart, and I do it oftener than I remember; however, from both motives together, I maintain I have a right to the pleasure of a single line, be it only to tell me how your watch goes. You know how much happier it would make me to know that all things belonging to you went on well. You are going to have them all to yourself (I hear), and that Mr. S is true to his first intention of leaving business. I hope this will enable you to accomplish yours in a shorter time, that you may get to your long-wished-for retreat of tranquillity and silence. When you have got to your fireside, and into your arm-chair (and, by the bye, have another to spare for a friend), and are so much a sovereign as to sit in your furred cap, if you like it, though I should not (for a man's ideas are at least the cleaner for being dressed decently), why then it will be a miracle if I do not glide in like a ghost upon you, and in a very unghost-like fashion help you off with a bottle of your best wine. January 15.-It does not happen every day that a letter begun in the most perfect health should be concluded in the greatest weakness. I wish the vulgar high and low do not say it was a judgment upon me for taking all this liberty with ghosts. Be it as it may, I took a ride when the first part of this was wrote towards Perenas, and returned home in a shiver ing fit, though I ought to have been in a fever, for I had tired my beast; and he was as immoveable as Don Quixote's wooden horse, and my arm was half dislocated in whipping him. This, quoth I, is inhuman. No, says a peasant on foot behind me, I'll drive him home. So he laid on his posteriors, but 'twas needless; as his face was turned towards Montpellier, he began to trot. But to return: this fever has confined me ten days in my bed. I have suffered in this scuffle with death terribly, but unless the spirit of prophecy deceive me, I shall not die but live. In the meantime, dear F, let us live as merrily, but as innocently, as we can. It has ever been as good if not better than a bishopric to me, and I desire no other. Adieu, n.y dear friend, and believe me yours, L. STERNE. Please to give the inclosed to Mr. T-, and tell him I thank him cordially from my heart for his great good-will. XLV. TO THE SAME. MONTPELLIER, Jan. 20, [1764]. MY DEAR FRIEND,-Hearing by Lord Rochford (who in passing through here in his way to Madrid has given me a call) that my worthy friend Mr. Fox was now at Paris, I have inclosed a letter to him, which you will present in course or direct to him. I suppose you are full of English; but, in short, we are here as if in another world, where, unless some stray'd soul arrives, we know nothing of what is going on in yours. Lord G-r, I suppose, is gone from Paris, or I had wrote also to him. I know you are as busy as a bee, and have few moments to yourself: nevertheless bestow one of them upon an old friend, and write me a line; and if Mr. F—is too idle, and has aught to say to me, pray write a second line for him. We had a letter from Miss P- this week, who it seems has decamp'd for ever from Paris. All is for the best, which is my general reflection upon many things in this world. Well! I shall shortly come and shake you by the hand in St. Sauveur, if still you are there. My wife returns to Toulouse, and purposes to spend the summer at Bagnieres. I, on the contrary, go and visit my wife, the church in Yorkshire. We all live the longer, at least the happier, for having things our own way. This is my conjugal maxim. I own 'tis not the best of maxims, but I maintain 'tis not the worst. Adieu, dear F, and believe me yours, with truth, L. STERNE. XLVI.-TO MRS. F-. MONTPELLIER, Feb. 1, 1764. I AM preparing, my dear Mrs. F-, to leave France, for I am heartily tired of it; that insipidity there is in French characters has disgusted your friend Yorick. I have been dangerously ill, and cannot think that the sharp air of Montpellier has been of service to me; and so my physicians told me, when they had me under their hands for above a month, If you stay any longer here, sir, it will be fatal to you. And why, good people, were you not kind enough to tell me this sooner? After having discharged them, I told Mrs. Sterne that I should set out for England very soon; but as she chooses to remain in France for two or three years, I have no objection, except that I wish my girl in England. The States of Languedoc are met; 'tis a fine raree-show, with the usual accompaniments of fiddles, bears, and puppetshows. I believe I shall step into my postchaise with more alacrity to fly from these sights than a Frenchman would to fly to them; and except a tear at parting with my little slut, I shall be in high spirits, and every step I take that brings me nearer England will, I think, help to set this poor frame to rights. Now pray write to me, directed to Mr. F- at Paris, and tell me what I am to bring you over. How do I long to greet all my friends! Few do I value more than yourself. My wife chooses to go to Montauban rather than stay here, in which I am truly passive. If this should not find you at Bath, I hope it will be forwarded to you, as I wish to fulfil your commissions; and so adieu. Accept every warm wish for your health, and believe me ever yours, L. STERNE. P.S.-My physicians have almost poisoned me with what they call bouillons refraichissants; 'tis a cock flayed alive and boiled with poppyseeds, then pounded in a mortar, afterwards passed through a sieve. There is to be one crawfish in it, and I was gravely told it must be a male one-a female would do me more hurt than good. XLVII.-TO MISS STERNE. PARIS, May 15, 1764. MY DEAR LYDIA,-By this time I suppose your mother and self are fixed at Montauban, and I therefore direct to your banker, to be delivered to you. I acquiesced in your staying in Francelikewise it was your mother's wish; but I must tell you both (that unless your health had not been a plea made use of) I should have wished you both to return with me. I have sent you the Spectators and other books, particularly Metastasio; but I beg my girl to read the former, and only make the latter her amusement. I hope you have not forgot my last request, to make no friendships with the French women; not that I think ill of them all, but sometimes | women of the best principles are the most in-❘ sinuating: nay, I am so jealous of you, that I should be miserable were I to see you had the least grain of coquetry in your composition. You have enough to do, for I have also sent you a guitar; and as you have no genius for drawing (though you never could be made to believe it), pray waste not your time about it. Remember to write to me as to a friend-in short, whatever comes into your little head, and then it will be natural. If your mother's rheumatism continues, and she chooses to go to Bagnieres, tell her not to be stopped for want of money, for my purse shall be as open as my heart. I have preached at the Ambassador's chapelHezekiah'-(an odd subject, your mother will 1 Sec Sermon XVII. say). There was a concourse of all nations, and religions too. I shall leave Paris in a few days. I am lodged in the same hotel with Mr. T-; they are good and generous souls. Tell your mother that I hope she will write to me, and that when she does so I may also receive a letter from my Lydia. Kiss your mother from me, and believe me your affectionate L. STERNE. XLVIII. TO MR. FOLEY. YORK, August 6, 1764. MY DEAR FOLEY, -There is a young lady with whom I have sent a letter to you, who will arrive at Paris in her way to Italy; her name is Miss Tuting, a lady known and loved by the whole kingdom. If you can be of any aid to her in your advice, etc., as to her journey, etc., your good-nature and politeness I am sure need no spur from me to do it. I was sorry we were like the two buckets of a well whilst in London, for we were never able to be both resident together the month I continued in and about the environs. If I get a cough this winter which holds me three days, you will certainly see me at Paris the week following, for now I abandon everything in this world to health and to my friends; for the last sermon that I shall ever preach was preach'd at Paris, so I am altogether an idle man, or rather a free one, which is better. I sent, last post, twenty pounds to Mrs. Sterne, which makes a hundred pounds remitted since I got here. You must pay yourself what I owe you out of it, and place the rest to account. Betwixt this and Lady-day next, Mrs. Sterne will draw from time to time upon you to about the amount of a hundred louis, but not more (I think), I having left her a hundred in her pocket. But you shall always have money beforehand of mine, and she purposes to spend no further than five thousand livres in the year; but twenty pounds this way or that makes no difference between us. Give my kindest compliments to Mr. P. I have a thousand things to say to you, and would go halfway to Paris to tell them in your ear. The Messrs. T-, H, etc., and many more of your friends with whom I am now, send their service. Mine to all friends. Yours, dear F-, most truly, L. STERNE. XLIX. TO J- H- S-, Esq. September 4, 1764. Now, my dear, dear Anthony, I do not think a week or ten days playing the good fellow (at this very time) at Scarborough so abominable a thing; but if a man could get there cleverly, and every soul in his house in the mind to try what could be done in furtherance thereof-I have no one to consult in this affair-therefore, as a man may do worse things, the English of all which is his, that I am going to leave a |
