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Another child's abortive-he believes
IT enact such laws as must themselres condemn! Nature most perfect in diminutives;
In every buman soul some rices spring And men of ev'ry rank with one accord
(For fair perfection is no mortal thing) Salute each crooked rascal with my lord.
Whoe'er is with the fewest faults endud, (For bandy legs; hump-back, and knocking knee, Is but the best of what cannot be good. Are all excessive signs of q- ty.)
Then view me, friend, in an impartial light, Thus let us judge our friends--if Scrub subsist Survey the good and bad, the black and white; Too mean'y, Scrub is an economist;
And if you find me, sir, upon the whole, And if Tom Tinkle is full loud and pert,
To be an honest and ingenuous soul, He aims at wit, and does it to divert.
By the same rule l'll measure you again, Largus is apt to bluster, but you'll find
And give you your allowance to a grain. 'Tis owing to his magnitude of mind :
'Tis friendly and 'tis fair, on either hand, Lollias is passionate, and loves a whore,
To grant th' indulgence we ourselves demand. Spirit and constitution !--nothing more
Ifon your hump we cast a fav’ring eye, Ned to a bullying peer is ty'd for life,
You must excuse all those who are awry. And in commendam holds a scolding wife; In short, since vice or folly, great or small, Slave to a fool's caprice, ard woman's will; Is more or less inberent in us all, But patience, patience, is a virtue still!
Whoe'er offends, our censure let us guide, Ask of Chamont a kingdom for a fish,
With a strong bias to the candid side; He'll give you three rather than spoil a dish; Nor (as the stoics did in ancient times) Nor pride, nor luxury is in the case,
Rank little fuibles with enormous crimes.
You'd be (methink) as infamous au oaf,
In folly and iniquity is he,
WIo, for some trivial, social, well-meant joke, Sober and meek-we swear he has no spirit; Which candour shou'd forget as soon as spoke, We call him stupid, who with caution breaks Wou'd shun his friend, neglectful and unkind, His silence, and will think before he speaks. As if old parson Packtbread was behind, Fidelio treads the path of life with care,
Who drags up all his visitors by force, And eyes his footsteps; for he fears a snare. And without mercy reads them his discourse. His wary way still scandal misapplies,
10 If sick at heart, and heary at the head, And calls him subtle, who's no more than wise. My drunken friend should reel betimes to bed, If any man is unconstrain'd and free,
And in the morn, with affluent discharge, As oft, my Lælius, I have been to thee,
Should sign and seal his residence at large; When rudely to thy room I chance to scour, And interrupt thee in the studious hour,
Si modo plura mibi bona sint, inclinet ; amari From Coke and Lyttleton thy mind unbend,
Si volet hac lege, in trutina ponetur eadem. With more familiar nonsense of a friend;
Qui ne tuberibus propriis offendat amicom Talk of my friendship, and of thy desert,
Postulat; ignoscat verrucis illius. Equum est, Show thee my works, and candidly impart Peccatis veniam poscentem reddere rursas., At once the product of my bead and heart,
Denique, quatenus excidi penitus vitium iræ, Nasutus calls me fool, and clownish bear,
Cætera item nequeunt stultis bærentia ; cur non Nor (but for perfect candour) stops he there.
Ponderibus, modulisque suis ratio utitur ac res • Ah! what unthinking, heedless things are Ut quxque est, ita suppliciis delicta coercet ? men,
9 Si quis eum servum, patinam qui tollere
jussus, At nos virtutes ipsas invertimus, atque Semesos pisces, tepidumque ligurierit jus, Sincerum cupimus vas incrustare. Probus quis in cruce suffigat; Labeone insavior inter Nobiscum vivit ? multum est demissus homo Sanos dicatur. Quanto hoc furiosius atque ille.
Majus peccatum est > paullum deliquit amicus, Tardo, cognomen pingui damus. Hic fugit omnes (Quod nisi concedas, habeare insuavis, acerbus ;) Insidias, nullique malo latus obdit apertum? Odisti, & fugis, ut Drusonem debitor æris? (Cum genus hoc inter vitæ versetur, ubi acris Qui nisi cum tristes misero venere Calene, Invidia, atqne vigent ubi crimina) pro bene sano, Mercedem aut nummos unde unde extricat, Ac non incauto, fictum astutumque vocamus.
'amaras Simplicior, quis, qualem me sæpe libenter Porrecto jugulo historias, captivus ut, audit. Obtulerim tibi, Mæcenas, ui forte legentem
To Comminxit lectum potus, mensare catillum Aut tacitum impellat quovis sermone? molestus! Evandri manibus trituin dejecit : ob hanc rem, Cominuni sensu plane caret, inquimus. Eheu! | Aut positum ante mea quia pallum in parte Qnain temere in nosmet legem sancimus iniquam?
calini Nam vitiis nemo sine nascitur: optiinus ille est, | Sustulit esuriens, minus hoc jucundus amicus Qui minimis urgetur, Amicus dulcis, ut æquum Sit mibi ? quid faciam, si furtum fecerit ? aut si est,
* An infamous attorney. Cum mea compenset vitiis bona, pluribus hisce,
Or should he in some passionate debate, 119 With zeal l'll love, be courteous e'en to strife,
AN OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE AND EPILOGUE TO What shou'd I do, or whither seek relief,
OTHELLO. As ir WAS ACTED AT THE THEATRE“ Suppose bim perjar'd! faithless, pimp, or thief?" |
ROYAL IN DRURY-LANE, ON THURSDAY THE Avar--a foolish koavish tribe you are,
Tru OF MARCH, 1751, BY PEGSONS OF DISWho falsely put all vices on a par.
TINCTION, FOR THEIR DIVERSION.
WULE mercenary actors tread the stage,
[wronght | She gives, and she demands the self-applause: 'Till malies was improv'd, and deadlier weapons Home to her breast she brings the heart-felt Language at length, and words experience found,
bays, And sense obtain'd a vehicle in sound. [built, Heedless alike of profit, and of praise. Then wholesome laws were fram'd,and towns were This now perhaps is wrong-yet this we know, And justice seiz'd the lawless vagrant's guilt; 'Twas sense and trulb a century ago : And theft, adultery, and fornication, (fashion: When Britain, with transcendant glory crown'd, Were punish'd much, forsooth, tho' much in For high achievements, as for wit renown'd, " For long before fair Helen's fatal charms Cull'd from each growing grace the purest part, Had many a.---
And cropt the flowers from every blooming art,
(ur noblest youths would then einbrace the task -... Hiatus magnus lacrymabilis
Of comic humour, or the mystic masque. .....----------.-------
'Twas theirs t' enco 'rage worth, and give to bards set the world in arms,
What now is spent in boxing and in cards; But kindly kept by no historian's care,
Good sense their pleasure-virtue still their They all, goodlack, hare perish'd to an hair.
gnide, But be that as it may, yet in all climes,
And English magnanimity-their pride. There's diff'rent punishment for diff'rent crimes. Methinks I see with Fancy's magic eye, “Hold,blockhead, hold—this sure is not the way, The shade of Sbakespeare, in yon azure sky. For all alike I'd Jash, and all I'd slay,"
On yon high cloud behold the bard advance, Cries W*******, “if I'd sovereign sway." Piercing all Nature with a single glance: Have sovereign sway, and an imperial robe, In various attituoes around him stand With fury sultavate* o'er half the globe.
The Passions, waiting for his dread command. Meanwhile, if I from each indulgent friend, First kneeling Lore before his feet appears, Obtain remission, when I chance t' offend, And musically s'ghing melts in tears. Why, in return, I'll make the balance even, Near him fell Jealousy with fury burns, And, for forgiving, they shall be forgiven, And into storms the amorous breathings turns;
Then Hope with heavenward look, and Joy draws. Prodiderit commissa fide ? sponsumve negarit?
near, Queis paria esse fere placuit peccata, laborant,
While palsied 'Terrour trembles in the rear. Cum ventum ad verum est; sensus, moresque
· Such Shakespeare's train of horroor and derepugnant
And such we hope to introduce to-night. [light, Atque ipsa utilitas, justi prope mater, & æqui. | Bu, if, though just in thought, we fail in fact, Cum prorepserunt primis animalia terris,
And good intention ripens not to act, Mutum & turpe pecus, glandem atque cubilia Weigh our design, your censure still de fer, propter,
When truth's in view 'tis glorious e'en to err.
SPOKEN BY DESDEMONA. 11 Nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus teterrima
TRUE woman to the last-my peforation
T. . beili
| Icome to speak in spite of suffocation ; Causa : sed ignotis perierunt mortibus illi,
To show the present and the age to come,
We may be chok'd, but never can be durab..
1. And haste away to lady Bragwell's ront;
Each modish sentiment to hear and weigh, Præter Crispipum, sectabitur: & mihi dulces
Of those who nothing think, and all things say. Ignoscent, si quid peccavero stultus, amici : • A word coined in the manner of Mr. War- 1.
12 Inquc vicem illorum patiar de'icta libenter, burton.
Privatusque magis vivam te rege beatus.
Prudella first in parody begins,
| She has a daughter too that deals in lace, (For nonsense and buffoonery are twins)
And sings--0) ponder well-and Chevy Chase, “ Can beaux the court for theatres exchange? And fain wou'd fill the fair Ophelia's place. I swear by Heaven 'tis strange, 'tis passing | And in her cock'd up hat, and gown of camblet, strange;
Presumes on something touching the lord And very whimsical, and mighty dull,
Hamlet. And pitiful, and wond'rous pitiful:
Acousin too she has with squinting eyes, I wish I had not heard it-blessed dame! With waddling gait,and voice like London Cries; Whene'er she speaks her audience wish the same. Who for the stage too short by half a story, Next Neddy Nicely—" Fye, O fye, good lack, Acts Lady Townly-thus-in all her glory. A nasty man to make his face all black."
And while she's traversing her scảnty room, Then lady Stiffneck shows her pious rage, Cries—" Lord! my lord, what can I do at home! And wonders we shou'd act-upon a stage. In short, we've girls enough for all the fellows, " Why, ma'am," says Coquetilla, “ a disgrace? The ranting, whining, starting, and the jealous, Merit in any form may show her face:
The Hotspurs, Romeos, Hamlets, and Othellos. In this dull age the male things ought to play, Oh! little do these silly people know, To teach them wbat to do, and what to say.'' What dreadful trials actors undergo. In short, they all with diff'rent cavils cram us. Myself—who most in harmony delight, And only are unanimous to damn us:
Am scolding here from morning until night. But still there are a fair judicious few,
Then take a lvice froin me, ye giddy things, Who judge unbiass'd, and with candour view; Ye royal milliners, ye apron'd kings; Who value honesty, though clad in buff,
Young men beware, and shun our slippery ways, And wit, though dress'd in an old English ruff. Study arithmetic, and shun our plays; Behold them bere—beaming sense descry, And you, ye girls, let not our tinsel train Shot from the living lustre of each eye.
Enchant your eyes, and turn your madd'ning Such meaning smiles each blooming face adorn,
THE PLAY OF THE CONSCIOUS LOVERS, ACTED FOR 'Tis our ambition, and our fame to please.
THE BENEFIT OF THE MIDDLESEX HOSPITAL FOR
(Enters with a child.) EPILOGUE TO THE APPRENTICE.
Whoe'er begot thee, has no cause to blush : (Enters reading a Play Bill.)
Thou’rt a brave chopping boy, (child cries) nay,
bush! hush l hush! A VERY pretty bill-as I'm alive!
A workman, faith! a man of rare discretion, The part of–nobody-by Mrs. Clive!
A friend to Britain, and to our profession: A paltry scribbling fool-to leave me out With face so chubby, and with looks so glad, He'll say, perhaps he thought I could not spout. O rare roast beef of England-here's a lad! Malice and envy to the last degree!
(Shou's him to the Company And why?-1 wrote a farce as well as he,
(Child makes a noise agnin.) And fairly ventur'd it—without the aid
| Nay if you once begin to puke and cough, ' Of prologue dress'd in black, and face in mas- Go to the nurse. Within !-here take him off. querade;
Well, Heav'n be prais'd, it is a peopling age, Oh! Pit-have pity-see bow I'm dismay'd! Thanks to the bar, the pulpit, and the stage ; ' Poor soul! this canting stuff will never do. But not to th' army-that's not worth a farthing, Unless like Bayes he bring his hangman too. The captains go too much to Covent Garden, But granting that from these sa me obsequies, Spoil many a girl, but selduin make a mother, Some pickings to our bard in black arise;
They foil us oue way-but we have them t'other. Should your applause to joy convert his fear,
(Shakes a bor of pills.) As Pallas turns to feast-Lardella's bier ; | The nation prospers by such joyous souls, Yet 'twould have been a better scheme by half Hence smokes my table, hence my chariot rolls. To have thrown his weeds aside, and learnt with Tho' some song jobs, from surgery may springs me to laugh.
Man-midwifry, man-midwifry's the thing! 1 cou'd have shown him, had be been inclin'd, Lean shou'l i be, e'en as my own anatomy, A spouting junto of the female kind.
By mere catharties and by plain phlebotomy. . There dwells a milliner in yonder row,
Well, besides gain, besides the pow'r to please, Well dress'd, full yoic'd, and nobly built for show, Besides the inusic of such birds as these, who, when in rage she scolds at Sue and Sarah,
(Shakes a purse.) Dama'd,damn'd dissembles !-thinks she's more it is a joy refin'd, unmix'd and pure, tban Zara
To hear the praises of the grateful poor.
This day comes honest Taffy to iny house, I But merriment and mimicry apart,
(Cadwallader," Of those, who tenderly take pity's part; Tho' creat crand creat crand crand child of Who in good-natur'd acts can sweetly grieve, Cries Patrick Touzl’em, “ I am bound to prav, Swift to lament, but swifter to relieve. You're sav'd my Sue in your same physic way, Thanks to the lovely fair ones, types of Heaven, And further shall I thank you yesterday.” Who raise and beautify the boi.nty given; Then Sawney came and thank'd me for my love, But chief to 'himn in whom distress confides, (I very readily excus'd bis glove)
Who o'er this noble plan so gloriously presides, He bless'd the mon, e'ev by St. Andrew's cross, "Who cur'd his bunny bearn and blithsome lass,” 'The earl, afterwards duke, of Northumber,
Dictu difficile est, an sit dementia major "Tis hard to say, if greater want of skill
But of the two, less dang'rous is th' offence
Ten censure wrong, for one who writes amiss.
'Tis with our judgments as onr watches, none
True taste as seldom is the critic's share:
Both must alike from Heaven derive their light
"Let'such teach others who themselves excel,
Cic. ad Herenn. b. 4, Deterius tibi fiat eo mage, quo mage vilem
2 Omnes tacito quodam sensu, sine ullâ arte. Inducas isti fucum, sic men: is honestæ
aut ratione, quæ sint in artibus ac rationibus recDoctrina effigiem maculabit prava decoram,
ta ac prava dijudicant, His inter cæcas mens illaqueata scholarum
Cic. de Orat, lib. 3,
Ambages errat, stolidisque supervenit illis I but as the slightest sketch, if justly trac'd, (Diis aliter visum est) petulantia. Perdere sen- Is by ill-colouring but the more disgrac'd, sum
[Pindum So by false learning is good sense defic'd. Communem hi sudant, dum frustra ascendere | Some are bewilder'd in the maze of schools, Conantur, mox, ut se defensoribus ipsis
| And some made coxconibs, Nature meant but Utantur, critici quoque fiunt : omnibus idem
fools. Ardur scribendi, studio bi rivalis aguntur, } In search of wit, those lose their common sense, Ilis invalida eunuchi violentia gliscit.
And then turn critics in their own defence. Ridendi proprium est fatuis cacoetbes, amantque Each burns alike, who can, or cannot write, Turbæ perpetuo sese immiscere jocosæ
Or with a rival's, or an cunuch's spite. Mævius invito dum sudat Apolline, multi
All fools have still an itching to de;ide, Pingue opus exuperant (si diis placet) emendando. And fain would be upon the laughing side: .
If Mævius scribble in Apollo's spite, | There are, who judge still worse than he can
write. Sunt qui belli homines primo, tum deinde Some have at first for wits, then poets past,
poetæ, Alox critici evasêre, meri tum denique stulti.
Turn'd critics next: and prov'd plain fools at last.
Some neither can for wits or critics pass, Est, qui nec criticum nec vatem reddit, inersque
As heavy mules are neither horse, nor ass. Ut mulus medium quoddam est asinum inter | Those half-learn'd willings num'rous in our isle, equimque.
[entum As half-form'd insects on the banks of Nile, Bellula semi-hominum vix pone elementa sci Unfinish'd things one knows not what to call, Primula gens horum est, preinitur quibus Anglia, | Their generation's so equirocal; quantum
To tell 'em, wou'd a hundred tongues require, Imperfecta scatent ripis animalcula Nili,
Or one vain wit's, that might a hundred tire. Futile, abortivum genus, & prope nominis expers, Usque adeo æquivoca est, e quá generantur,
origo. Hos centum nequeunt linguæ numerare, nec una Unias ex ipsis, quæ centum sola fatiget.
At tu qui famam simul exigis atque redunas But you who seek to give and merit fame, Pro meritis, criticique affectas nobile nomen. And justly bear a critic's noble name, Metitor te ipsum, prudensque expenditquæ sit Be sure yourself and your own reach to know, Judicii, ingenii tibi, doctrinæque facultas; How far your genius, taste, and learning go. Si qua profunda piinis, cauto vitentor, & ista Lanch not beyond your depth, but be discreet Linea, quæ coeunt stupor ingeniumque, notator. | And mark that point where sense and dulness Qui finem imposuit rebus Deus omnibus aptum,
meet. Humani vanum ingenii restrinxit acugen,
Nature to all things fix'd the limits fit, Qualis ubi oceani vis nostra irrumpit in arva, And wisely curb'd proud man's pretending wit. Tunc desolatas alibi denudat arenas;
As on the land while here tlic ocean gains, Sic animæ reminiscendi dum copia restat, In other parts it leaves wide sandy plains. Cinsilii gravioris ahest plerumque potestas; | Thus in the soul, while memory prevails, Ast ubi Phantasiæ fulgent radiantja tela,
The solid pow'r of understanding fails ; Mnemosyne teneris cum formis victa liquescit. | Where beams of warm imagination play, Ingenio tantum Musa uni sufficit una,
The memory's soft figures melt away. Tanta ars est, tantilla scientia nostra videtur : One science ouly will one genius fit: Non solum ad certas artes astric:a sequendas, | So rast is art, so narrow human wit: Sape has non nisi quâdam in simplice parte se. | Not only bounded to peculiar arts, quatur.
But oft in those confin'd to single parts. Deperdas partos utcunque labore triumphos, Like kings we lose the co:.quests gain'd before, Dum plures, regum instar, aves acquirere lauros; | By vain ambition still to make them more. Sed sna tractatu facilis provincia cuique est, | Each might his several province well cominand, Si non, que pulchre sciat, ut vulgaria, temnat. | Would all but stoop to what they understand.
Naturam sequere imprimis, atque illius æquà 1 Firsl follow Nature, and your judgincnt frame Judicium ex noi mà fingas, quæ nescia flecti : By her just standard, which is still the same. fila etenim, sine late micans, ab origine diyâ, Unerring Nature, sili divinely bright, Clara, constanti, lustrantique omnia luce, One clear, unchang'd, and universal light, Vitamque, speciamgne, & vires omnibus addat, Life, force, and beauty, must to all impart, Et fons, & finis simul, atque criterion artis. At once the source, and end, and test of art. Quærit.opes ex boc thesauro ars, & sine pompa Art from that fund each just supply provides, Præsidet, & nullas turbas facit inter agendum. Works without show, and without pomp presides: Talis vivida vis formoso in corpore mentis, In some fair body thus th' informing svul Lætitiam toti inspirans & robora massa, With spirits feeds, with rigour fills the whole, Ordinat & motus, & nervos snstinet omnes, Each motion guides, and every nerve sustaius ; Inter opus varium tamen ipsa abscondita fallit. Itself unseen, but in th' effect, remains. Sæpe is, cui magnum ingenium Deus addidit, | There are whom Heav'n has blest with store of idem
| Yet want as much again to manage it ; [wit, Indigus est majoris, ut hoc benè calleat uti; | For wit and judginept ever are at strife, (wite: Ingeniuin nam judicio velut uxor habendum est / Though mcant cach other's aid, like man and