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nor low: - where can she be, think
? Mel. 0, 1 conceive you: you'll tell him so. Lady T. Where she's serving you as all Mask. Tell him so! ay; why you don't your ses ought to be served, making you a think I mean to do so? beast. Don't you know that you're a fool, Mel. No, no; ha, ha! I dare swear thou brother?
wilt not. Sir P. A fool! he, he, he! you're merry- Mask. Therefore, for our further security, No, no, not I; I know no such matter. I would have you disguised like a parson,
Lady 1. Why then you don't know ball thal, if any lord should have curiosity to peep, your happiness.
he may not discover you in the coach, but Sir P. That's a jest, with all my heart, faith think the cheat is carried on as he would and troth. But harkye, my lord told me bave it. something of a revolution of things; I don't Mel. Excellent Maskwell! know what to make on't: 'gadsbud, I must Mask. Well, get yourselves ready, and consult my wife. He talks of disinheriting his meet me in half an hour, yonder in any lady's nephew, and I don't kuow what. Look you, dressing-room: I'll send the chaplain to you sisler, I must know what my girl has to trust with his robes: I have made him my own, in, or not a syllable of a wedding, 'gadsbud, and ordered him to meet us lo-morrow mornto sbow you that I am not a fool.
ing at St. Alban's; there we will sum up this Lady T. Hear me:-consent to the breaking account to all our satisfaction. off this marriage, and the promoting any Mel. Should I begin to thank or praise thee, other, without consulting me, and I'll renounce I should waste the little time we have. [Exit
. all blood, all relation, and concern with you Musk. Madam, you will be ready? for ever: Day, I'll be your enemy, and pursue Cyn. I will be punctual to the minute. you to destruction; I'll tear your eyes out,
[Going: and tread you under my feet.
Mask. Stay, I have a doubt. Upon second Sir P. Wby, what's the inatter now? Good thoughts we had better meet in the chaplain's Lord, what's all this for ? Pho, here's a joke chamber here; there is a back way into it, so indeed.-Why, where's my wife?
that you need not come through this door, Ladr T. With Careless, fool! most likely. and a pair of private stairs leading down to
Sir P. O, if she be with Mr. Careless 'tis the stables. It will be more convenient. well enough.
Cyn. I am guided by you; but Mellefont Lady 1. Fool, sot, insensible ox! But will mistake. remember what I said to you, or you had Mask. No, no; I'll after him immediately, better see my face no more; by this light, and tell him. [Exit Cynthia] Why, qui vult
[E.rit. decipi decipiatur. 'Tis no fault of mine; I Sir P. You're a passionate woman, 'gadsbud; bave told 'em in plain terms how easy 'tis for but, lo say truth, all our family are choleric; me to cheat 'em; and if they will not bear I am the only peaceable person amongst 'em. the serpent's hiss, they musí be slung into
[Exit. experience and future caution.--Now to preRe-enler Melleront and Maskwell, with must instruct my little Levite; he prornised
pare my lord lo consent to this. But first, I CYNTHIA.
me to be within at this hour. Mr. Saygrace, Mel. I know no other way but this he has Mr. Saygrace! proposed, if you have love enough to run the [Goes to the Chamber-door, and knocks.
Say. [Within] Sweet sir, I will but peo Cyn. I don't know whether I have love the last line of an acrostic, and be with you enough, but I find I have obstinacy enough in the twinkling of an ejaculation, or before to pursue whalerer I have once resolved, and you cana true female courage to oppose any thing Mask. Nay, good Mr. Saygrace, do not tibat resists my, will, though 'twere reason itself. prolong the time, by describing to me the
Mask. That's right. Well, I'll secure the shortness of your stay; rather, if you please, writings, and run the hazard along with you. defer the finishing of your wit, and let us
Cyn. But how can the coach be got ready talk about our business; it shall be lithes in wabout suspicion?
your way. Mask. Leave it to my care; that shall be so far from being suspected, that it shall be gol
Enter SAYGRACE. ready by my lord's own order.
Say. You shall prevail; I would break off Mel How?
in the middle of a sermon to do you a pleasure. Mask. Why, I intend to tell my lord the Musk. You could not do me a greater, exwbole matter of our contrivance, that's my way. cept the business in hand. Have you provided Med I don't understand you.
a habit for Mellefont? Mask. Why, I'll tell my lord I laid this Say. I have; it is ready in mny chamber, plot with you on purpose to betray you; and together with a clean-starched band and cuffs. ibat which put me upon it, was the finding Mask. Good. Let them be carried to him. 13 impossible to gain ihe lady any other way Have you stitched the gown sleeve, that he wat in the hopes of ber marrying you. may be puzzled, and waste time in putting Hel. So
it on? Mask. So!-why so: while you're busied Say. I have; the gown will not be indued
making yourself ready, I'll wheedle her without perplexity. 8216 the coach, and instead of you, borrow Mask. Meet me in half an hour, here in my lord's chaplain, and so run away with your own chamber. VVhen Cynthia comes, a my self.
let there be no light, and do not speak, that
she may not distinguish you from Mellefont. Mel. 'Tis loss of time; I cannot think him I'll urge haste, to excuse your silence. false. [Exeunt Careless and Mellefont.
Say. You have no more commands?
Re-enter LORD TOUCHWOOD.
[Erit. Lord T. He bas a quick invention, if this Mask. It will be the first you have so served. were suddenly designed. Yet, be says,
be had Re-enter LORD TOUCHWOOD.
prepared my chaplain already.
Cyn. How's this? Now I fear, indeed. [Aside. Lord T. Sure, I was born to be controlled Lord T. Cynthia here! Alone, fair cousin, by those I should command! my very slaves and melancholy. will shortly. give me rules how I shall Cyn. Your lordship was thoughtful.
Lord T. My thoughts were on serious buMask. I am concerned to see your lordship siness, not worth your bearing. discomposed.
Cyn. Mine were on treachery concerning Lord T. Have you seen my wife lately, or you, and may be worth your hearing., disobliged her?
Lord T. Treachery concerning me! Pray Mask. No, my lord. What can this mean? be plain. What noise?
[Aside. Mask. [Within] Will you not hear me? Lord T. Then Mellefont has urged some- Lady T. [Within] No, monster!
traitor! No. body to incense her. Something she has Cyn. My lady and Maskwell! This may be heard of you, which carries her beyond the lucky., My lord, let me entreat you to stand bounds of patience.
behind this screen and listen; perbaps this Mask. This I feared. [Aside] Did not your chance will give you proof of what you never lordship tell her of the honours you de- could have believed from my suspicions. signed me?
[They retire behind the Screen. Lord T. Yes.
Mask. 'Tis that: you know my lady has a Re-enter Maskwell, and LADY TOUCHWOOD high spirit; she thinks I am unworthy:
with a Dagser. Lord T. Unworthy! 'tis an ignorant pride Lady T. You want but leisure to invent in her to think so. Honesty, to me is true fresh falsehood, and sooth me to a fond belief nobility. However, 'tis my will it shall be so, of all your fictions: but I will stab the lie and that should be convincing to her as much that's forming in your heart, and save a sin as reason. I'll not be wife-ridden. Were it in pity to your soul. possible it should be done this night.
Mask. Sirike then, since you will bave it so. Mask. Ha! he meets my wishes. [Aside] Lady T. Ha! a steady villain to the last! Few things are impossible to willing minds! Mask. Come, why do you dally with me thus?
Lord 1. Instruct me bow this may be done, Lady T. Thy siubborn temper shocks me, and you
shall see I want no inclination. and you knew it would. This is cunning all; Mask. I had laid a small design for to- I know thee well; but thou shalt miss thy aim. morrow (as love will be inventing), which I Mask. Ha, ha, ha! thought to communicate to your lordship: bul Lady T. Ha! do you mock my rage? Then it may be as well done to-night.
this shall punish your fond rash contempt
. Lord T. Here's company: come this way, Again smile? And such a smile as speaks in and tell me.
[Exeunt. ambiguity! Ten thousand meanings lurk in
each corner of that various face; 09 that they Re-enter Cynthia, with CARELESS.
were written in thy beart, that I with this Care. Is not that he, now gone out with might lay thee open to my sight! But then
't will be too late to know Thou hast,
ibou 'Cyn. I am convinced there's treachery. The hast found the only way to turn my rage; confusion that I saw your father in, my lady too well thou knowest my jealous soul could Touchwood's passion, with what imperfectly never bear uncertainty. Speak tben, and tell I overheard between 'my lord and her, con-me! Yet are you silent?0, I am wildered firm me in my fears. Where's Mellefont? in all passions! But thus my anger melts
. Care. Here he comes.
[Weeps) Here, take this poniard; for my, yery
spirits faint, and I want strength to hold it: Re-enter MELLEFONT.
thou hast disarm'd my soul. Cyn. Did Maskwell tell you any thing of
(Gives him the Dagger. the chaplain's chamber?
Mask. So, 'lis well; let your wild fury have Mel.' No, my dear. Will you get ready? a vent: and when you have temper tell me The things are all in my chamber; I want Lady T. Now, now, now I am calm, and nothing but the habit.
can hear you. Care. You are betrayed, and Maskwell is Mask. Thanks, my invention; and now ! the villain I always thought him.
have it for you. (Aside] First, tell me what Cyn. When you were gone, he said his urged you to this violence? for your passion mind was changed; and bid me meet him in broke in such imperfect terms, that yei I am the chaplain's room, pretending immediately to learn the cause. to follow you, and give you notice.
Lady T. My lord himself surprised me with Care. There's Saygrace tripping by with a the news, you were to marry Cynthia; that bundle under his arm. He cannot be ignorant you bad 'owned your love to him; and his that Maskwell means 40 use his chamber; let's indulgence would assist you to attain your ends. in, and examine him,
Mosk. grant you, in appearance, all is
my lord ?
true; I seemed consenting to my lord, nay, know, my lord; but here's the strangest revotransported with the blessing: but could you lution! all turned topsy-turvy, as I hope for think that I, who had been happy in your Providence. lord embraces, could e'er be fond of an in- Lord F. ( heavens, what's the matter? ferior slavery? – No. Yet, though I dote on Where's my wife? each last favour more than all the rest, though Sir P. All turned topsy-turvy, as sure as I would give a limb for every look you cheaply a gun. throw away on any other object of your love, Lord F. How do you mean? My wife? yet, so far I prize your pleasures o'er my Sir P. The strangest posture of affairs ! own, that all this seeming plot that I have Lord F. What, my wife? laid, has been to gratify your taste, and cheat Sir P. No, no; I mean the family.-Your the world to prove a faithful rogue to you. lady? I saw her go into the garden with
Lady T. Ifihis were true; but how can it be? Mr. Brisk.
Mask. I have so contrived, that Mellefont Lord F. How, where, when, what to do? will presently, in the chaplain's habit, wait for Sir P. I suppose they have been laying their Cynthia in your dressing-room; but I have heads together. put the change upon her, that she may be Lord F. How? Otherwise employed. Do you muffle yourself, Sir P. Nay, only about poetry, I suppose, and meet him in her stead. You may go pri- my lord; making couplets. rately by the back stairs, and unperceived; Lord F. Couplets! there you may propose to reinstate him in his Sir P: 0, here they come. uncle's favour, if he'll comply with your desires. His case is desperate, and I believe he'll yield
Enter LADY FROTH and BRISK, to any conditions: if not, here, take this; you Brisk. My lord, your humble servant; sir may employ it better than in the heart of one, Paul, yours. –The finest right! wbo is nothing when not yours.
Lady F. My dear, Mr. Brisk and I have [Gives her the Dagger. been stargazing. I don't know how long. Lady T. Thou canst deceive every body: Sir P. Does it not tire your ladyship? Are nay, thou hast deceived me. But 'lis as I you not weary with looking up? would wish. – Trusty villain! I could wor- Lady F. (), no; I love it violently. – My ship thee.
dear, you're melancholy. Mask. No more. - It wants but a few mi- Lord F. No, my dear, I'm but just awake. butes of the time; and Mellefont's love will Lady F. Snuff some of my spirit of hartshorn. carry him there before his hour.
Lord F. I've some of my own,
you, Lady T. I go, I fly, incomparable Mask- my dear. well!
[Exit. Lady Well, I swear, Mr. Brisk, you Mosk. So! This was a pinch indeed! My understand astronomy like an old Egyptian. invention was upon the rack, and made dis- Brisk. Not comparable to your ladyship; covery of her last plot.- ! hope Cynthia and you are the very Cynthia of the skies, and my chaplain will be ready. I'll
for the expedition
• Lady F. That's because I have no light, [Exit. Cynthia and Lord Touch-bui what's by reflection from you, who are
wood come forward. Cyn. Now, my lord!
Brisk. Madam, you have eclipsed me quite, Lord T. Astonishment binds up my rage! let me perish; I can't answer that. Villany upon villany! Heavens, what a long Lady F. No matter.—Harkye, shall you
and track of dark deceit has this discovered! I am I make an almanac together? confounded when I look back, and want a Brisk. With all my soul. Your ladyship dee to guide me through the various mazes has made me the mɔn in't ?) already, I'm so of anbeard-of treachery. My wise!--Oh, tor- full of the wounds which you have given. ture!--my shame, my ruin!"
Lady F. O, finely taken! I swear now you Cyn. My lord, bave patience; and be sen- are even with me. -O Parnassus! you have sible how great our happiness is, that this an infinite deal of wit. discovery was not made too late.
Sir P. So he has, 'gadsbud! and so bas your Lord T. I thank you. Yet it may be still ladyship. too late, if we don't presently prevent the execution of their plots.--She'll think to meet Re-enter CARELESS and Cynthia, with LADY
PLIANT. kim in that dressing-room: was't not so? And Maskwell will expect you in the chaplain's Lady P. You tell me most surprising things. chamber-For once, I'll add my plot 100.---Bless me, who would ever trust a man? Let us baste to find out, and inform my nephew; o, my heart aches for fear they should be all and do you, quickly as you can, bring all deceitful alike. the company into this gallery.—I'll expose the traitress and the villain.
[Ereunt. 1) Moore's Almanac has got a very curious wood-cut of
marked with the different signs and planets Rr-enier Sir Paul Pliant, with LORD Froth. thal govern the different parts of the face and body,
according to Aristotle's Phisiognomy, apd le tbus Lard F. By beavens, I have slep! an age. appears to be full of wounds; for instance, the foreSir Paul, what o'clock is't? Past eight, on
head is governed by Mars, the right eye is mder the
duminion of Sol, the left eye is ruled by the Moon, my conscience. My lady's is the most inviting the right ear is the care of Jupiter, the left of Saturn, coach, and a slumber there is the prettiest the rule of the nose is claimed by Venus, and Meramusement!-But where's all the company?
cury seizes upon the mouth. The sigas of the Zodiac
have also their share in the government, and form the Sir P. The company? 'Gadsbud,' I don't House of Commons of the realm.
queen of stars.
Care. You need not fear, madam; you have injured friend, thou wonder of all falsehood. charms to fix inconstancy itself .
[Throws off his Disguise. Lady P. O dear, you make me blush. Lord T. Are you silent, monster? Lord F. Come, my dear, shall we take leave Mel. Good beavens! how I believed and of my lord and lady?
loved this man! Take him bence, for he's a Cyn. They'll wait upon your lordship disease to my sight. presently:
Lord T. Secure the manifold villain. Lady F. Mr. Brisk, my coach shall set
[Servants take Maskwell off.
Care. Miracle of ingratitude! [Lady Touchwood shrieks from within. Sir P. O Providence, Providence, what disAll. What's the maller?
coveries are here!
Brisk. This is all very surprising, let me Lady Touchwoon, muffled up, runs in af-perish. frighted; followed by Lord Touchwood, Lady F. You know I told you Saturn looked dressed like a Parson, with a Dagger a little more angry than usual
. in his Hand.
Lord T. We'll think of punishment at leiLady T. O, I'm betrayed.—Save me! help me! sure. But let me hasten to do justice, in Lord T. Now what evasion, wicked woman? rewarding virtue and wronged innocence, Lady T. Stand off; let me go. [Exit. Nephew, I hope I have your pardon, and Lord T. Go, and thy own infamy pursue Cynthia's. thee!-You stare, as you were all amazed. I Mel. We are your lordship's creatures. don't wonder at it; but too soon you will Lord T. And be each other's comfort. Let know mine, and that woman's, shame. me join your hands. Uninterrupted bliss [Throws off his Gown. attend you both! May circling joys tread
round each happy year of your long lives! Re-enter MELLEFONT, disguised in a Par
Let secret villany from hence be warn'd, son's Habit, with two Servants, bringing Howe'er in private mischiefs are conceiv'd, in MaskweLL.
Torture and shame attend their open
birth. Mel. Nay, by heaven, you shall be seen. Like vipers in the breast, base treach'ry lies, [To Maskwell] Careless, your hand.-Do you Still gnawing that whence first it did arise; hold down your head? (1o Maskwell] Yes, No sooner born, but the vile parent dies. I am your chaplain. Look in the face of your
THE WAY OF THE WORLD, Comedy by W. Congreve. Acled at Lincoln's Inn Fields. 1700. This was the last play its anther rrete, and perhaps the best; the language is pure, the wit genuins, the characters are natural, and the painting is highly finished: yet, sach is the strange capriciousness of public laste, that, notwithstanding the great and deserved reputation this Author had acquired by his ihree former comedies, this before us niet with but indifierent success; while his Morning Bride, a piece of not the twentieth part of its uerit, was in the full meridian of applause. It is not very improbable (says Mr. Baker) that this testimonial of want of judgment in the audience might be the motive for the anthor's quitting the stage so carly; for, though he was at that time in the prime of life, not above twenty-seven years of age, and lived about twenty-nine years afterwards, he never obliged the public with any other dramatic piece. Time, however, has since opened the eyes of the town 10 its perfections; and it is now as frequently performed as any of his other plays.--Mr. Baker's memory seems to have failed him when he asserted, that Congreve nerer obliged the pablic with any dramatic piece after this; his Judgment of Paris was performed in the following year; and his Semele, az epera, in 1707; and these, though not very important works, are still dramatic pieces.
MRS. MARWOOD. MINCING
SIR WILFUL WIT- LADY WISHFORT. MRS. FAINALL. Footmen and AlWITWOULD.
100 negligently; the coldness of a losing game SCENE I.-A Chocolate House. ster lessens the pleasure of the winner. 1.
no more play with a man that slighted his Mirabell and Fainall, rising from Cards, ill forlune, than I'd make love to a woman Betty waiting
who undervalued the loss of her reputation. Mir. You are a fortunate man, Mr. Fainall. Mir. You have a taste extremely delicate, Fain. Have we done?
and are for refining, on your pleasures. Mir. Whal you please. I'll play on Fain. Pr’ythee, why so reserved? Something entertain you.
has put you out of humour. Fain. No, r'll give you your revenge another Mir. Not at all: I happen to be grave totime, when you are not so indifferent; you day; and you are gay; that's all. are thinking of something else now, and playl Fain. Confess, Millamant and you quar
relled last night, after I left you: my fair cousin fellow. The devil's in't if an old woman is has some humours that would tempt the pa- to be flatter'd farther. But for the discovery tience of a stoic. What, some coxcomb came of this amour, I am indebted to your friend, in, and was well received by her, wbile you or your wife's friend, Mrs. Marwood. were by?
Fain. What should provoke her to be your Mir.' Witwould and Petulant! and what enemy, unless she has made you
advances was worse, her aunt, your wife's mother, my which you have slighted? Women do not evil genius; or to sum up all in her own easily forgive omissions of that nature. name, my old lady Wishfort came in.
Mir. She was always civil to me, till of late; Fain. O there it is then. She has a lasting I confess I am not one of those coxcombs passion for you, and with reason. What, who are apt to interpret a woman's good then my wise was there?
manners to her prejudice; and think that she Mir. Yes, and Mrs. Marwood, and three who does not resuse 'em every thing, can or four more, whom I never saw before. refuse 'em nothing. Seeing me, Ibey all put on their grave faces, Fain. You are a gallant man, Mirabell; and whispered one another, then complained aloud though you may have cruelty enough not to of the vapours, and after fell into a profound answer a lady's' advances, you have too much silence.
generosity not to be tender of her honour. Fain. They had a mind to be rid of you. Yet you speak with an indifference which Mir. For which reason I resolved not to seems to be affected, and confesses you are stir. At last the good old lady broke through conscious of a negligence. her painful taciturnity, with an invective against Mir. You pursue the argument with a distrust long visits. I would not have understood her, that seems to be unaffected, and confesses you but Millamant joining in the argument, I rose, are conscious of a concern for which the and with a constrained smile told her, I though: lady is more iudebted to you, than is your wise. nothing was so easy as to know when a visit Fain. Fie, fie, friend,
you grow cenbegan to be troublesome; she redden'd, and 1 sorious, I must leave you. I'll look upon the withdrew, without expecting her reply. gamesters in the next room.
Fain. You were to blame to resent what Mir. Who are they? sbe spoke only in compliance with her aunt. Fain. Petulant and Witwould. Bring me Mir. She is more mistress of herself than some chocolate.
[E.cit. to be under the necessity of such resignation. Mir. Betty, what says your clock?
Fain. What! though half her fortune de- Belly. Turnd of the last canonical hour, sir. pends upon her marrying with my lady's Mir. How pertinently the jade answers me! approbation?
[ Aside] Ha! almost one o'clock! [Looking Hir. I was then in such a humour, that I on his Watch] 0, y’are come. should have been better pleased if she had been less discreet.
Enler Footman. Fain. Now I remember, I wonder not they Well; is the grand affair over? You have were weary of you; last night was one of been something tedious. abeir cabal nights; they have 'em three times Foot. Sir, there's such coupling at Pancras, a week, and meet by turns, at one another's that they stand behind one another, as 'twere apartments! where they come together, like in a country dance. Ours was the last couple the coroner's inquest, ?) to sit upon the mur-to lead up; and no hopes appearing of disder'd reputatious of the week. You and I are patch, besides, the parson growing hoarse
, we excluded; and it was once proposed that all were afraid his lungs would bave failed before ibe male sex should be excepted; but some- it came to our turn; so we drove round to bocy moved, that, to avoid scandal
, there might Duke's-place; and there they were rivetted in te one man of the community; upon which a trice. motion Wiiwould and Petulant were enrolled Mir. So, so; you are sure they are married? members.
Foot. Incontestibly, sir: I am witness. Mir. And who may have been the foundress Mir. Have you the certificate? rif this sect? My lady Wishfort, I warrant, Foot. Here it is, sir. who publishes her detestation of mankind; Mir. Has the tailor brought Waitwell's and, full of the vigour of fifty-five, declares clothes home, and the new liveries ? for a friend and ratafia; and let posterily shift Foot. Yes, sir. for itsell, she'll breed no more.
ilir. That's well. Do you go home again, Fain. The discovery of your sham addres-d'ye hear, bid Waitwell shake his ears, and ses to her, to conceal your love to her niece, dame Parilet rustle up her feathers, and meet tas provoked this separation: had you dis- me at one o'clock by Rosamond's-pond, that sembled better, things might have continued in I may see her before she returns to her lady: the state of nature.
and as you tender your ears, be secret. Mir. I did as much as man could, with any
[E.rit Footman. rasonable conscience; I proceeded to the very last act of flallery with her, and was
Enter FAINALL. guilty of a song in her commendation. Nay, Fain. Joy of your success, Mirabell; you i gnt a friend to put ber into a lampoon, and look pleased. amplimeot her with the addresses of a young Mir. Ay; I have been engaged in a matter
The business of a coroner (coronator) is, to assemble of some sort of mirth, which is not yet ripe reire of the inhabitants of the parish, lo examine for discovery. I am glad this is not a cabal*LI. tbe cause of the death of any one who has been dito!; nad the verdict given in iheir sitting in cases
night. I wonder, Fainall
, that you, who are of order, is of very great weight in the affair. married, and of consequence should be dis