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would that do?-For sarten, seeing how things and declares she will never marry at all.— were, I should have been very glad had they But I know, my lord, she'll pay great respect gone accordingly: but if they change, 'tis no to any thing you say; and if you'll but lay fault of mine, you know. your commands on her to marry him, I'm sure she'll do it.


Zooks! why should I sit down and grieve?
No case so hard, there mayn't be had

Some med'cine to relieve.

Here's what masters all disasters:
With a cup of nut-brown beer,
Thus my drooping thoughts I cheer:
If one pretty damsel fail me,
From another I may find
Return more kind;

What a murrain then should ail me!
All girls are not of a mind.

He's a child that whimpers for a toy;
So here's to thee, honest boy.


Lord A. Who, I lay my commands on her? Fair. Yes, pray, my lord, do; I'll send her in to you, and I humbly beg you will tell her, you insist upon the match going forward; tell her, you insist upon it, my lord, and speak a little angrily to her. Exit.

Lord A. Master Fairfield! What can be the meaning of this?-Refuse to marry the farmer! How, why?-My heart is thrown in an agitation; while every step I take serves but to lead me into new perplexities.

Enter PATTY.

I came hither, Patty, in consequence of our [Exit. conversation this morning, to render your change of state as agreeable and happy as I could: but your father tells me you have falFair. O the goodness, his lordship's honour len out with the farmer; has any thing hap-you are come into a litter'd place, my noble pened since I saw you last to alter your good sir-the arm-chair-will it please your honour opinion of him? to repose you on this, till a better

Lord A. Thank you, miller, there's no occasion for either.-I only want to speak a few words to you, and have company waiting for me without.

Fair. Without-wou't their honours favour my poor hovel so far

Pat. No, my lord, I am in the same opinion with regard to the farmer now as I always was.

Lord A. I thought, Patty, you loved him; you told mePat. My lord!

Lord A. Well, no matter-It seems I have Lord A. o, miller, let them stay where been mistaken in that particnlar - Possibly they are. find you are about marrying your your affections are engaged elsewhere: let me daughter-I know the great regard my mother but know the man that can make you happy, bad for her; and am satisfied that nothing and I swear

but her sudden death could have prevented Pat. Indeed, my lord, you take too much her leaving her a handsome provision. trouble upon my account.

Fair. Dear, my lord, your noble mother, you, and all your family, have heaped favours on favours on my poor child.

Lord A. Whatever has been done for her she has fully merited—

Fair. Why, to be sure, my lord, she is a very good girl.

Lord A. Perhaps, Patty, you love somebody so much beneath you, you are ashamed to own it; but your esteem confers a value wheresoever it is placed: I was too harsh with you this morning: our inclinations are not in our own power; they master the wisest of us.

Pat. Pray, pray, my lord, talk not to me Lord A. Poor old man-but those are tears in this style: consider me as one destined by of satisfaction-Here, master Fairfield, to bring birth and fortune to the meanest condition and matters to a short conclusion, here is a bill offices. Let me conquer a heart, where pride of a thousand pounds.-Portion your daughter and vanity have usurped an improper rule; with what you think convenient of it. and learn to know myself.

Fair. A thousand pounds, my lord! Pray Lord A. Or possibly, Patty, you love some excuse me; excuse me, worthy sir; too much one so much above you, you are afraid to has been done already, and we have no pre-own it-If so, be his rank what it will, he is to be envied: for the love of a woman of vir



Lord A. I insist upon your taking it.-Put tue, beauty, and sentiment, does honour to a up, and say no more. monarch. What means that downcast look, Fair. Well, my lord, if it must be so: but those tears, those blushes? Dare you not conindeed, indeedfide in me?-Do you think, Patty, you have Lord A. In this I only fulfil what I am sa- a friend in the world would sympathize with tisfied would please my mother. As to my- you more sincerely than I? self, I shall take upon me all the expenses of Pat. What shall I answer? [Aside]—No, Patty's wedding, and have already given orders my lord; you have ever treated me with a about it. kindness, a generosity of which none but minds Fair. Alas, sir, you are too good, too ge-like yours are capable: you have been my innerous; but I fear we shall not be able to profit of your kind intentions, unless you will condescend to speak a little to Patty. Lord A. How speak!

structor, my adviser, my protector: but, my lord, you have been too good: when our superiors forget the distance between us, we are sometimes led to forget it too: had you been less condescending, perhaps I had been happier.

Fair. Why, my lord, I thought we had pretty well ordered all things concerning this Lord A. And have I, Patty, have I made you marriage; but all on a sudden the girl has unhappy; I, who would sacrifice my own fetaken it into her head not to have the farmer, licity to secure yours?

Giles. If his lordship's honour would be so kind, I would acknowledge the favour as far as in me lay.

Pat. I beg, my lord, you will suffer me to be gone: only believe me sensible of all your favours, though unworthy of the smallest. Lord A. How unworthy?—You merit every Sir H. Let me speak-[Takes Lord Aimthing; my respect, my esteem, my friendship, worth aside] a word or two in your lordand my love!-Yes, I repeat, I avow it: your ship's ear.

beauty, your modesty, your understanding, has Theo. Well, I do like this gipsy scheme made a conquest of my heart. But what a prodigiously, if we can but put it into execsworld do we live in! that while I own this, tion as happily as we have contrived it. while I own a passion for you, founded on

Re-enter PATTY.

the justest, the noblest basis, I must at the same time confess the fear of that world, its So, my dear Patty, you see I am come to taunts, its reproaches. return your visit very soon; but this is only Pat. Ah, sir, think better of the creature a call en passant-will you be at home after you have raised, than to suppose I ever en- dinner? tertained a hope tending to your dishonour: I would that be a return for the favours I have received? I am unfortunate, my lord, but not criminal.

Lord A. Patty, we are both unfortunate: for my own part, I know not what to say to you, or what to propose to myself.


Pat. Certainly, madam, whenever you condescend to honour me so far: but it is what cannot expect.

Theo. O fie, why not

Giles. Your servant, miss Patty.
Pat. Farmer, your servant.

Sir H. Here, you goodman delver, I have Pat. Then, my lord, 'tis mine to act as I done your business; my lord has spoke, and ought; yet while I am honoured with a place your fortune's made: a thousand pounds at in your esteem, imagine me not insensible of present, and better things to come; his lordso high a distinction, or capable of lightly turn-ship says he will be your friend. ing my thoughts towards another.

Giles. I do hope, then, miss Pat will make

Lord A. How cruel is my situation!-I am all up. here, Patty, to command you to marry the Sir H. Miss Pat, make up; stand out of the man who has given you so much uneasiness. way, I'll make it up. Pat. My lord, I am convinced it is for your credit and my safety it should be so: I hope QUINTETTO.-SIR HARRY SYCAMORE, LORD I have not so ill profited by the lessons of AIMworth, Patty, GILES, and THEODOSIA. your noble mother, but I shall be able to do The quarrels of lovers, adds me! my duty, wherever I am called to it: this will they're a jest; be my first support; time and reflection will complete the work.

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Sir H.

Come hither, ye blockhead, come hither,

So now let us leave them together.

Lord A, Farewell, then!





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Theo. Dear papa, how can you talk so? Did not I tell you it was at my own desire poor fellow went to show me the canal? Sir H. Hold your tongue, miss. I don't know any business you had to let him come near you at all: we have stayed so long too: your mamma gave us but half an hour, and she'll be frightened out of her wits—she'll think some accident has happened to me.

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For ever!

I vow and protest,

'Twas kind of his honour,

To gain thus upon her;

We're so much beholden it can't
be exprest.

I feel something here,
Twixt hoping and fear:
Haste, haste, friendly night,
To shelter our flight-

A thousand distractions are rend-
ing my breast.

Oh mercy,

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Oh dear!

Why, miss, will you mind when

you're spoke to, or not? Must I stand in waiting, While you're here a prating?

May ev'ry felicity fall to your lot! She court'sies!-Look there, What a shape, what an air!How happy! how wretched! how tir'd am I!

Your lordship's obedient; your ser vant; good by.



Lord 4. I'll wait upon you when you please. SCENE I.-The Portico to LORD AIMWORTH'S

Sir H. O! but, my lord, here's a poor fellow; it seems his mistress has conceived some


disgust against him; pray has her father spoke Enter LORD AIMWORTH, SIR HARRY, and to you to interpose your authority in his behalf?

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wretch! coming of such a race as mine; and of horses in all England (but that he did only now and then for his amusement)-And he having an example like me before her! Lord A. I beg, madam, you will not disquiet used to say, my lord, that the female sex were yourself: you are told here, that a gentleman good for nothing but to bring forth children, lately arrived from London has been about and breed disturbances. Lord A. The ladies were very little obliged the place to-day; that he has disguised himself like a gipsy, came hither, and had some to your ancestor, sir Harry: but for my part, conversation with your daughter; you are I have a more favourable opinionLady S. [Within] Sir Harry! Sir Harry! even told, that there is a design formed for Sir H. You are in the wrong, my lord: their going off together; but possibly there with submission, you are really in the wrong. may be some mistake in all this. [Exit.

Sir H. Ay but, my lord, the lad tells us the gentleman's name: we have seen the gipsies; and we know she has had a hankering

Lady S. Sir Harry, my dear, why will you put in your word, when you hear others speaking-1 protest, my lord, I'm in such confusion, I know not what to say: I can hardly support myself.

Lord A. This gentleman, it seems, is at a little inn at the bottom of the hill.

Sir H. I wish it was possible to have a file of musketeers, my lord; I could head them myself, being in the militia; and we would go and seize him directly.


Lord A. How now, master Fairfield, what brings you here?

Fair. I am come, my lord, to thank you for your bounty to me and my daughter this morning, and most humbly to entreat your lordship to receive it at our hands again.

Lord A. Ay-why, what's the matter? Fair. I don't know, my lord: it seems your generosity to my poor girl has been noised about the neighbourhood; and some evil-minded people have put it into the young man's head Lord A. Softly, my dear sir; let us proceed that was to marry her, that you never would with a little less violence in this matter, I be-jhave made her a present so much above her seech you. We should first see the young deserts and expectations, if it had not been lady-Where is miss Sycamore, madam? upon some naughty account: now, my lord, Lady S. Really, my lord, I don't know; I am a poor man 'tis true, and a mean one; saw her go into the garden about a quarter but I and my father, and my father's father, of an hour ago, from our chamber window. have lived tenants upon your lordship's estate, Sir H. Into the garden! perhaps she has got where we have always been known for honest an inkling of our being informed of this affair, men; and it shall never be said, that Fairfield, and is gone to throw herself into the pond. the miller, became rich in his old days, by the Despair, my lord, makes girls do terrible things. wages of his child's shame. 'Twas but the Wednesday before we left London, that I saw, taken out of Rosamond's-you believe-— pond, in St. James's Park, as likely a young woman as ever you would desire to set your eyes on, in a new callimancoe petticoat, and a pair of silver buckles in her shoes.

Lord 4. I hope there is no danger of any such fatal accident happening at present; but will you oblige me, sir Harry?

Sir H. Surely, my lord

Lord A. Will you commit the whole direction of this affair to my prudence?

Sir H. My dear, you hear what his lordship


Lord A. What then, master Fairfield, do

Fair. No, my lord, no, heaven forbid: but when I consider the sum, it is too much for us; it is indeed, my lord, and enough to make bad folks talk: besides, my poor girl is greatly alter'd; she us'd to be the life of every place she came into; but since her being at home, I have seen nothing from her but sadness and watery eyes.

Lord A. The farmer then refuses to marry Patty, notwithstanding their late reconciliation?

Fair. Yes, my lord, he does indeed; and has made a wicked noise, and used us in a Lady S. Indeed, my lord, I am so much very base manner: I did not think farmer asham'd, I don't know what to answer; the Giles would have been so ready to believe such a thing of us. fault of my daughter

Lord A. Well, master Fairfield, I will not Lord A. Don't mention it, madam; the fault has been mine, who have been innocently the press on you a donation, the rejection of which occasion of a young lady's transgressing a does you so much credit; you may take my point of duty and decorum, which otherwise word, however, that your fears upon this ocshe would never have violated. But if you, casion are entirely groundless: but this is not and sir Harry, will walk in and repose your-enough; as I have been the means of losing selves, I hope to settle every thing to the ge- your daughter one husband, it is but just I neral satisfaction.

Lady S. Come in, sir Harry.

should get her another; and, since the farmer [Exit. is so scrupulous, there is a young man in the house here, whom I have some influence over, and I dare say he will be less squeamish.

Lord A. I am sure, my good friend, had known that I was doing a violence to miss Sycamore's inclinations, in the happiness I proposed to myself—

Fair. To be sure, my lord, you have, in all honest ways, a right to dispose of me and Sir H. My lord, 'tis all a case-My grand- mine as you think proper. father, by the mother's side, was a very sen- Lord A. Go then immediately, and bring sible man-he was elected knight of the shire Patty hither; I shall not be easy till I have in five successive parliaments, and died high given you entire satisfaction. But, stay and sheriff of his county-a man of fine parts, fine take a letter, which I am stepping into my talents, and ore of the most curiousest docker study to write: I'll order a chaise to be got

ready, that you may go back and forward, pretending you were struck blind by thunder with greater expedition. [Exit Fairfield, and lightning.


Let me fly-hence, tyrant fashion!
Teach to servile minds your law;
Curb in them each gen'rous passion,
Ev'ry motion keep in awe.
Shall I, in thy trammels going,
Quit the idol of my heart;
While it beats, all fervent, glowing?
With my life I'll sooner part.

SCENE II.--A Village.
Enter RALPH, FANNY following.
Fan. Ralph, Ralph!

Ralph. What do you want with me, eh?
Fan. Lord, I never knowed such a man as

you are, since I com'd into the world; a body
can't speak to you, but you falls straightways
into a passion: I followed you up from the
house, only you run so, there was no such á
thing as overtaking you, and I have been wait-
ing there at the back door ever so long..

Fan. Pray don't be angry, Ralph.

Ralph. Yes, but I will though: spread your cobwebs to catch flies; I am an old wasp, and don't value them a button.


When you meet a tender creature,
Neat in limb, and fair in feature;
Full of kindness and good nature,
Prove as kind again to she:
Happy mortal to possess her!
In your bosom warm and press her;
Morning, noon, and night caress her,
And be fond as fond can be.

But if one you meet that's frow-ard,
Should you act the whining coward,
Saucy, jilting, and untow-ard,


'Tis to mend her ne'er the wit: Nothing's tough enough to bind her; Then agog when once you find her, Let her go and never mind her; Heart alive, you're fairly quit. Ralph. Well, and now you may go and wait at the fore door, if you like it: but I fore- Fan. I wish I had a draught of water. I warn you and your gang not to keep lurk- don't know what's come over me; I have no ing about our mill any longer; for if you do, more strength than a babe: a straw would I'll send the constable after you, and have fling me down.-He has a heart as hard as you, every mother's skin, clapt into the county any parish officer; I don't doubt now but he gaol: you are such a pack of thieves, one can't would stand by and see me whipt himself; hang so much as a rag to dry for you: it was and we shall all be whipt, and all through my but the other day that a couple of them came means-The devil run away with the gentleinto our kitchen to beg a handful of dirty flour, man, and his twenty guineas too, for leading to make them cakes, and before the wench me astray: if I had known Ralph would have could turn about, they had whipped off three taken it so, I would have hanged myself bebrass candlesticks and a pot-lid. fore I would have said a word-but I thought he had no more gall than a pigeon.

Fan. Well, sure it was not I. Ralph. Then you know, that old rascal that you call father, the last time I catch'd him laying snares for the hares, I told him I'd inform the gamekeeper, and I'll expose all


Fan. Ah, dear Ralph, don't be angry with

Ralph. Yes, I will be angry with you-what do you come nigh me for?-You shan't touch me- There's the skirt of my coat, and if you do but lay a finger on it, my lord's bailiff is here in the court, and I'll call him and give you to him.

Fan. If you'll forgive me,


O! what a simpleton was I,

To make my bed at such a rate! Now lay thee down, vain fool, and cry, Thy truelove secks another mate.

No tears, alack,

Will call him back,

No tender words his heart allure;
I could bite

My tongue through spite-
Some plague bewitch'd me, that's for sure.
Enter GILES, followed by PATTY and

I'll down on go my knees. Ralph.. I tell you I won't-No, no, follow your gentleman; or go live upon your old fare, crows and polecats, and sheep that die of the rot; pick the dead fowl off the dung- Giles. Why, what the plague's the matter hills, and quench your thirst at the next ditch, with you? What do you scold at me for? I 'tis the fittest liquor to wash down such dain- am sure I did not say an uncivil word as I ties-skulking about from barn to barn, and do know of: I'll be judged by the young lady lying upon wet straw, on commons, and in if I did. green lanes-go and be whipt from parish to Pat. 'Tis very well, farmer; all I desire is, parish, as you used to be. that you will leave the house: you see my Fan. How can you talk so unkind? father is not at home at present; when he is, Ralph. And see whether you will get what if you have any thing to say, you know where will keep you as I did, by telling of fortunes, to come.

and coming with pillows under your apron, Giles. Enough said; I don't want to stay among the young farmers wives, to make be- in the house, not I; and I don't much care lieve you are a breeding, with the Lord Al-if I had never come into it.

mighty bless you, sweet mistress, you cannot Theo. For shame, farmer! Down on your tell how soon it may be your own case. You knees, and beg miss Fairfield's pardon for the know I am acquainted with all your tricks-outrage you have been guilty of

and how you turn up the whites of your eyes, Giles. Beg pardon, miss, for what? — Icod,

that's well enough; why I am my own master, and equip myself-All here is in such conben't I?-If I have no mind to marry, there's fusion, there will no notice be taken. no harm in that, I hope: 'tis only changing Mer. Do so; I'll take care nobody shall inbands. This morning she would not have me, terrupt you in the progress of your metamorand now I won't have she. phosis [She goes in]- and if you are not Pat. Have you!-Heavens and earth! I tedious, we may walk off without being seen would prefer a state of beggary a thousand by any one. times beyond any thing I could enjoy with Theo. [Within] Ha, ha, ha!-What a conyou and be assured, if ever I was seemingly course of atoms are here! though, as I live, consenting to such a sacrifice, nothing should they are a great deal better than I expected. have compelled me to it but the cruelty of my Mer. Well, pray make haste; and don't situation. imagine yourself at your toilette now, where Giles. O, as for that I believes you; but mode prescribes two hours for what reason you see the gudgeon would not bite, as I told would scarce allow three minutes. you a bit agone, you know: we farmers never Theo. Have patience; the outward garment love to reap what we don't sow. is on already; and I'll assure you a very good Pat. You brutish fellow, how dare you talk-stuff, only a little the worse for the mending. Giles. So, now she's in her tantrums agin, Mer. Imagine it embroidery, and consider and all for no manner of yearthly thing. it is your wedding-suit.-Come, how far have Pat. But be assured my lord will punish you got? you severely for daring to make free with his


Giles. Who made free with it? Did I ever mention my lord? 'Tis a cursed lie.

Theo. Bless me, farmer!

Theo. Stay; you don't consider there's some contrivance necessary.-Here goes the apron, flounced and furbelow'd with a witness-Alas! alas! it has no strings! what shall I do? Come, no matter; a couple of pins will serve-And now the cap-oh, mercy here's a hole in the crown of it large enough to thrust my head through.

Mer. That you'll hide with your straw hat;

Giles. Why it is, miss-and I'll make her prove her words-Then what does she mean by being punished? I am not afraid of nobody, nor beholding to nobody, that I know of; while I pays my rent, my money, I believe, or if you should not-What, not ready yet? is as good as another's: 1) 'egad, if it goes there, I think there be those deserve to be punished more than I.

Pat. Was there ever so unfortunate a creature, pursued as I am by distresses and vexations?

Theo. My dear Patty-See, farmer, you have thrown her into tears.

Giles. Why then let her cry.
Theo. Pray be comforted.


Oh leave me, in pity! The falsehood I scorn;
For slander the bosom untainted defies:
But rudeness and insult are not to be borne,
Though offer'd by wretches we've sense to
despise. [Exit Theodosia.
Of woman defenceless how cruel the fate!
Pass ever so cautious, so blameless her way,
Ill nature and envy lurk always in wait,
And innocence falls to their fury a prey.

Re-enter THEODOSIA, with MErvin. Theo. You are a pretty gentleman, are not you, to suffer a lady to be at a rendezvous before you?

Mer. Difficulties, my dear, and dangersNone of the company had two suits of apparel; so I was obliged to purchase a rag of one, and a tatter from another, at the expense of ten times the sum they would fetch at the paper-mill.

Theo. One minute more-Yes, now the work's accomplish'd.

[She comes out of the Closet disguised.

Re-enter GILES, with FAIRField. Mer. Plague, here's somebody coming.

[Retires with Theodosia. Fair. As to the past, farmer, 'tis past; I bear no malice for any thing thou hast said. Giles. Why, master Fairfield, you do know I had a great regard for miss Patty; but when I came to consider all in all, I finds as how it is not advisable to change my condition yet awhile.

Fair. Friend Giles, thou art in the right; marriage is a serious point, and can't be considered too warily.-Ha, who have we here? -Shall I never keep my house clear of these vermin?-Look to the goods there, and give me a horsewhip-by the lord Harry, I'll make an example-Come here, lady Lightfingers, let me see what thou hast stolen.

Mer. Hold, miller, hold!

Fair. O gracious goodness! sure I know this face-miss-young madam SycamoreMercy heart, here's a disguise!

Theo. Discover'd!

Mer. Miller, let me speak to you.
Theo. What ill fortune is this!

Giles. Il fortune-miss! I think there be nothing but crosses and misfortunes of one kind or other.

Fair. Money to me, sir! not for the world; Theo. Well, where are they? you want no friends but what you have alMer. Here, in this bundle-and though I ready-Lack-a-day, lack-a-day, see how luckily say it, a very decent habiliment, if you have I came in; I believe you are the gentleman to art enough to stick the parts together: I've whom I am charged to give this, on the part been watching till the coast was clear to bring

them to you.

Theo. Let me see-I'll slip into this

1) Symptoms of English liberty.

of my lord Aimworth - Bless you, dear sir, go up to his honour with my young ladycloset there is a chaise waiting at the door to carry you-I and my daughter will take another way.


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