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INKLE AND YARICO.
This cavern may prove a safe retreat to us Inkle. Well, is the coast clear? Trudge. Eh! Oh lord!-Clear? [Rubbing for the present. I'll enter, cost what it will. his eyes] Oh dear! oh dear! the coast will soon be clear enough now, I promise you-shall pay too dear for our lodging, depend on't.
under sail, sir!
Trudge. Oh Lord! no, don't, don't - We
Inkle. Confusion! my property carried off are at the mouth of it: lead the way, Trudge. in the vessel.
Trudge. All, all, sir, except me.
Trudge. What! go in before your honour! I know my place better, I assure you-I might Aside. Inkle. They may report me dead, perhaps; walk into more mouths than one, perhaps. and dispose of my property at the next island. Inkle. Coward! then follow me. [Noise again. [Vessel under sail. Trudge. I must, sir; I must! Ah Trudge, Trudge. Ah! there they go. [4 gun fired]| That will be the last report 1) we shall ever Trudge! what a damned hole are you getting hear from 'em, I'm afraid. That's as much into! as to say, good by to ye. And here we are left-two fine, full-grown babes in the wood! Inkle. What an ill-timed accident! just too, when my speedy union with Narcissa, at Barbadoes, would so much advance my interests. Enter INKLE and TRUDGE, from mouth of Something must be hit upon, and speedily; but what resource?
SCENE III.A cave, decorated with skins of wild beasts, feathers, etc. a rude kind of curtain, as door to an inner part.
Trudge. The old one-a tree, sir-'tis all go any farther. What would I give, we have for it now.
[Thinking. Trudge. Why, sir! you must be mad to Inkle. So far, at least, we have proceeded now, to be perched upon a high stool, with with safety. Ha! no bad specimen of savage our brown desk squeezed into the pit of my elegance. These ornaments would be worth stomach-scribbling away an old parchment! something in England.-We have little to fear But all my red ink will be spilt by an old here, I hope: this cave rather bears the pleasing face of a profitable adventure. black pin of a negro.
A voyage over seas had not enter'd my head,
Heigho! sure I-for hunger must die!
Oho! I'm a terrible booby!
Oh, what a sad booby am I!
In London, what gay chop-house signs in the
But the only sign here, is of nothing to eat.
Oho! I shall die a lost mutton!
Heigho! that I-for hunger should die!
For my bacon, I fancy, I never shall save.
Inkle. Scoundrel! is this a time to jest? Trudge. No, faith, sir! hunger is too sharp I shall starve to be jested with. As for me, Now you may meet a for want of food.
Trudge. Very likely, sir; but, for a pleasing face, it has the cursed'st ugly mouth I ever saw in my life. Now do, sir, make off as fast as you can. If we once get clear of the natives' houses, we have little to fear from the lions and leopards; for, by the appearance of their parlours, they seem to have killed all the wild beasts in the country. Now pray, do, my good master, take my advice, and run
Inkle. Rascal! Talk again of going out, and I'll flea you alive.
Trudge. That's just what I expect for coming in. All that enter here appear to have had their skin stript over their cars; and ours will be kept for curiosities-We shall stand here, stuffed, for a couple of white wonders.
Inkle. This curtain seems to lead to another apartment: I'll draw it.
Trudge. No, no, no, don't; don't. We may be called to account for disturbing the company: you may get a curtain lecture, perhaps, sir.
Inkle. Peace, booby, and stand on your guard.
Trudge. Oh! what will become of us! some grim seven-foot fellow ready to scalp us. Inkle. By heaven! a woman!
[Yarico and Wowski, discovered asleep. Trudge. A woman! [Aside-loud] But let him come on; I'm ready-dam'me, I don't fear facing the devil himself—Faith, it is a womanfast asleep, too.
Inkle. And beautiful as an angel! Trudge. And, egad! there seems to be a luckier fate: you are able to extract the square nice, little, plump, bit in the corner; only root, sir; and that's the very best provision she's But I! can find here to live upon.
Noise at a distance] Mercy on us! here
they come again.
an angel of rather darker sort. Inkle. Hush! keep back-she wakes. [Yarico comes forward - Inkle and Trudge retire to the opposite sides of the scene.
Inkle. Confusion! deserted on one side, and pressed on the other, which way shall I turn?-Yarico.
Report of a gun; and report, an account of
And the shaggy lion's skin,
Decks our cells, at set of sun;
Again, in sullen haste, he flies,
Inkle. Our language!
Trudge. Zounds, she has thrown me into a cold sweat.
Yarico. Hark! I heard a noise! Wowski, awake! whence can it proceed?
[She wakes Wowski, and they both come forward Yarico towards Inkle; Wowski towards Trudge.
Yar. Ah! what form is this?-are you a man? Inkle. True flesh and blood, my charming heathen, I promise you.
Yar. What harmony in his voice! what a shape! How fair his skin too!- [Gazing.
Trudge. This must be a lady of quality, by her staring.
Yar. Say, stranger, whence come you? Inkle. From a far distant island; driven on this coast by distress, and deserted by my companions.
Yar. And do you know the danger that surrounds you here? our woods are filled with beasts of prey-my countrymen, too(yet, I think they couldn't find the heart)might kill It would be a pity if you you. fell in their way I think I should you came to any harm. Trudge. O ho! it's time, I see, to begin making interest with the chambermaid. [Takes Wowski apart. Inkle, How wild and beautiful! sure, there's magic in her shape, and she has rivetted me to the place. But where shall I look for safety? let me fly, and avoid my death.
decked in silks, my brave maid, and have a
Yar. Nay, do not laugh at me-but is it so?
Yar. Oh, wonder! I wish my countrywomen could see me-But won't your warriors kill us?
Inkle. No, our only danger, on land, is here. Yar. Then let us retire further into the cave. Come-your safety is in my keeping. Inkle. I follow you-Yet, can you run some risque in following me?
Trudge. Iss! and you learnt it from a strange man, that tumbled from a big boat, many moons ago, you say!
Wows. Iss-teach me teach good many. Trudge. Then, what the devil made 'em so surpris'd at seeing us! was he like me? [Wows. Yar. Oh! no-But-[as if puzzled] well shakes her head] Not so smart a body, maythen, die stranger, but, don't depart. But I hap. Was his face, now, round, and comely, will try to preserve you; and if you are kill-and-eh! [Stroking his chin] Was it like ed, Yarico must die too! Yet, 'tis I alone can mine? save you your death is certain without my Wows. Like dead leaf-brown and shrivel assistance; and indeed, indeed, you shall not Trudge. Oh, oh, an old shipwrecked sailor, want it. I warrant. With white and grey hair, eh, my pretty beauty spot? Wows. Iss; all white. he put it in pocket.
Inkle. My kind Yarico! what means, then, must be used for my safety?
Yar. My cave must conceal you: none enter it, since my father was slain in battle. I will bring you food, by day, then lead you to our unfrequented groves, by moonlight, to listen to the nightingale. If you should sleep, I'll watch you, and wake you when there's danger. Inkle. Generous maid! then, to you I will owe my life; and whilst it lasts, nothing shall part us.
Yar. And shan't it, shan't it indeed? Inkle. No, my Yarico! for, when an opportunity offers to return to my country, you shall be my companion.
Yar. What! cross the seas! Inkle. Yes. Help me to discover a vessel, and you shall enjoy wonders. You shall be
When night come,
Trudge. Oh! wore a wig. But the old boy taught you something more than English, I believe.
Trudge. Mercy on us! what damned sto-a little after their spouses. Well, as my master machs, to swallow a tough old tar! though, seems king of this palace, und has taken his for the matter of that, there's many of our Indian queen already, I'll e'en be usher of the captains would eat all they kill, I believe! Ah, black rod here. But you bave had a lover or poor Trudge! your killing comes next. two in your time; eh, Wowski? Wows. Oh iss-great many-I tell you.
Wows. No, no-not you-no
[Running to him. Trudge. No? why what shall I do, if I get in their paws?
Wows. I fight for you!
Trudge. Will you? ecod she's a brave, good-natured, wench! she'll be worth a hun-1 dred of your English wives-Whenever they fight on their husband's account, it's with him instead of for him, I fancy. But how the plague am I to live here?
Wows. I feed you-bring you kid.
White man, never go away-
Sun makes warm weather,
I'll catch you a cockatoo,
When cold comes, or when 'tis hot
Trudge. Yes, pretty little Wowski!
Wows. Iss, you're like the snow!
Trudge. Never, not for any white one:
Wows. Wars, jars, scars, can't expose ye,
Trudge. So snug and cosey!
Wows. Flowers neatly
Trudge. Coying, toying,
With a rosy posey,
When I'm dosey,
Bear-skin night-caps, too, shall
warm my head.
Bear-skin night-caps, etc. etc.
White man, don't leave me! Trudge. Zounds! leopard's skin for winter wear, and feathers for a summer's suit! Ha, ha! I shall look like a walking hammer-cloth, at Christmas, and an upright shuttlecock, in the dog-days. And for all this, if my master and I find our way to England, you shall be part of our travelling equipage; and, when I get there, I'll give you a couple of snug rooms, on a first floor, and visit you every evening men, you may depend on't. as soon as I come from the counting house. Do you like it?
Trudge. Damme, what a flashy fellow shall seem in the city! I'll get her a white boy) to bring up the tea-kettle. Then I'll teach you to write and dress hair.
SCENE I.-The Quay at Barbadoes. Enter several PLANTERS. 1st Plant. I saw her this morning, gentleMy telescope never fails me. I pop'd upon her as I was taking a peep, from my balcony. A brave tight ship, I tell you, bearing down directly for Barbadoes here.
2d Plant. Ods my life! rare news! We have not had a vessel arrive in our harbour these six weeks.
Wows. You great man in your country ? 3d Plant. And the last brought only madam Trudge. Oh yes, a very great man. I'm Narcissa, our Governor's daughter, from Enghead clerk of the counting-house, and first land; with a parcel of lazy, idle, white folks walet-de-chambre of the dressing-room. Ipounce about her. Such cargoes will never do for parchments, powder hair, black shoes, ink pa- our trade, neighbour.
per, shave beards, and mend pens. But, hold; 4th Plant. No, no: we want slaves. A terhad forgot one material point-you arn't rible dearth of 'em in Barbadoes, lately! but married, I hope? your dingy passengers for my money. Give Wows. No: you be my chum-chum! me a vessel like a collier, where all the lading Trudge. So I will. It's best, however, to tumbles out as black as my hat. But are you e sure of her being single; for Indian hus-sure, now, you aren't mistaken? ands are not quite so complaisant as English [To 1st Planter. nes, and the vulgar dogs might thing of looking 1st Plant. Mistaken! 'sbud, do you doubt 1) In the time when people easily made great fortunes, my glass? I can discover a gull by it six leain a short time, in the Indies, it was customary for gues off: I could see every thing as plain as these persons to bring over with them a black boy to if I was on board.
wait at table, and act as lady's footman, (probably 2d Plant. Indeed! and what were her cofrom the idea that they would make better servants,
as not having the same ideas of liberty as an English lours?
only of the lady with that of the boy; but also the or
custom that was, with that he pretended to introduce.
1st Plant. Um! why English-or DutchFrench-I don't exactly remember.
3d Plant. What were the sailors aboard?
1st Plant. Eh! why they were English too Patty. Not I, ma'am, not I. But, if our -or Dutch-or French-I can't perfectly re-voyage from England was so pleasant, it wasn't owing to Mr. Inkle, I'm certain. He 4th Plant. Your glass, neighbour, is a little didn't play the fiddle in our cabin, and dance like a glass to much it makes you forget on the deck, and come languishing with a every thing you ought to remember. glass of warm water in his hand, when we [Cry without, A sail, a sail. were seasick. Ah, ma'am, that water warm'd 1st Plant. Egad, but I'm right tho'. Now, your heart, I'm confident. Mr. Inkle; no, no! gentlemen! Captain CamAll. Aye, aye; the devil take the hindmost. [Exeunt, hastily.
Enter NARCISSA and PATTY.
Beats in my perturbed breast;
Patty. Lord, madam, how is it possible to help talking? We are in Barbadoes, here, to be sure-but then, ma'am, one may let out a little in a private morning's walk by ourselves. Nar. Nay, it's the same thing with you in[for a gown.
Patty. I never blab, ma'am, never, as I hope Nar. And your never blabbing, as you call it, depends chiefly on that hope, I believe. The unlocking my chest, locks up all your faculties. An old silk gown makes you turn your back on all my secrets; a large bonnet blinds your eyes; and a fashionable high handkerchief covers your ears, and stops your mouth at once, Patty.
Nar. There is no end to this! Remember, Patty, keep your secrecy, or you entirely lose my favour.
Patty. Never fear me, ma'am. But if somebody I know is not acquainted with the governor, there's such a thing as dancing at balls, and squeezing hands when you lead up, and squeezing them again when you cast down, and walking on the quay in a morning. Ob, I won't utter a syllable. [Archly] But remember, I'm as close as a patch-box. Mum's the word, ma'am, I promise you.
This maxim let ev'ry one hear,
Proclaim'd from the north to the south;
Should never run out at your mouth.
The judge in dull dignity drest,
He'll get up, and give them a speech.
Will keep her swain under her thumb; And the lover that's true to his trade,
Is certain to kiss, and cry mum. [Erit. Nar. How awkward is my present situation! promised to one, who, perhaps, may never Patty. Dear ma'am, how can you think a again be heard of; and who, I am sure, if body so mercenary! am I always teasing you he ever appears to claim me, will do it mereand fal-lals and ly on the score of interest-pressed too by gew-gaws, gowns finery? Or do you take me for a conjuror, another, who has already, I fear, too much that nothing will come out of my mouth but interest in my heart-what can I do? What ribbons? I have told the story of our voyage, plan can I follow? indeed, to old Guzzle, the butler, who is very inquisitive; and, between ourselves, is the ugliest old quiz I ever saw in my life.
Nar. Well, well, I have seen him; pitted with the small-pox, and a red face.
Camp. Follow my advice, Narcissa, by all means. Enlist with me, under the best banners in the world. General Hymen for my Putty. Right, ma'am. It's for all the world money! little "Cupid's his drummer: be has like his master's cellar, full of holes and li-been beating a round rub-a-dub on our hearts, quor. But, when he asks me what you and and we have only to obey the word of com I think of the matter, why I look wise, and mand, fall into the ranks of matrimony, and cry, like other wise people who have nothing march through life together. to say-All's for the best.
Nar. And, thus, you lead him to imagine I am but little inclined to the match.
Patty. Lord, ma'am, how could that be? Why, I never said a word about Captain Campley.
Nar. Then consider our situation.
Camp. That has been duly considered. I short, the case stands exactly thus-your intended spouse is all for money. I am all for love: he is a rich rogue: I am rather a par honest fellow. He would pocket your forte: I will take you without a fortune in your pocket.
Nar. Hush! hush, for heaven's sake. Patty. Ay! there it is now.-There, ma'am, I'm as mute as a mackarel-That name stri- Nar. Oh! I am sensible of the favour, mast kes me dumb in a moment. I don't know gallant Captain Campley; and my father, how it is, but Captain Campley some how doubt, will be very much obliged to you or other has the knack of stopping my mouth Camp. Aye, there's the devil of it! S oftener than any body else, ma'am.
Nar. His name again!-Consider.
mention it; I desire you.
Christopher Curry's confounded good charac Never ter-knocks me up at once. Yet I am not acquainted with him, neither; not known to
him, even by sight; being here only as a private gentleman on a visit to my old relation, out of regimentals, and so forth; and not introduced to the Governor as other officers of the place: but then the report of his hospitality-his odd, blunt, whimsical, friendship-his whole behaviour
Nar. All stare you in the face, eh, Campley? Camp. They do, till they put me out of Countenance; but then again, when I stare you in the face, I can't think I have any reason to be ashamed of my proceedings-I stick here, between my love and my principle, like a song between a toast and a sentiment.
Nar. And, if your love and your principle were put in the scales, you doubt which would weigh most?
Camp. Ob, no! I should act like a rogue, and let principle kick the beam: for love, Narcissa, is as heavy as lead, and, like a bullet from a pistol, could never go through the heart, if it wanted weight.
Nar. Or rather like the pistol itself, that often goes off without any harm done. Your fire must end in smoke, I believe.
Camp. Never, whilst
Enter TRUDGE and WoWSKI, as from the ship; with a dirty RUNNER from one of the inns.
Run. This way, sir; if you will let me recommend
Trudge. Come along, Wows! Take care of your furs, and your feathers, my girl. Wows. Iss.
Trudge. That's right.-Somebody might steal 'em perhaps.
Wows. Steal!-What that?
Trudge. Oh, lord! see what one loses by
Nar. Nay, a truce to protestations at pre-not being born in a Christian country. sent. What signifies talking to me, when Run. If you would, sir, but mention to you have such opposition from others? Why your master, the house that belongs to my hover about the city, instead of boldy attack-master; the best accommodations on the quay.ing the guard? Wheel about, captain! face the enemy! march! charge! rout 'em-Drive 'em before you, and then-
Camp. And then
Nar. Lud have mercy on the poor city!
In the cause of battles hearty,
Hear then, captains, ye who bluster,
Enter PATTY, hastily.
Trudge. What's your sign, my lad? Run. The Crown, sir-Here it is. Trudge. Well, get us a room for half an hour, and we'll come: and hark'ee! let it be light and airy, d'ye bear? My master has been used to your open apartments lately. Run. Depend on it.-Much obliged to you, sir. [Exit. Wows. Who be that fine man? He great prince?
Trudge. A prince-Ha! ha!-No, not quite how do you like this, Wows? Isn't it fine? a prince-but he belongs to the crown.
Trudge. Fine men, eh!
Wows. Iss! all white; like you.
Trudge. Yes, all the fine men are like me: as different from your people as powder and ink, or paper and blacking.
Wows. And fine lady-Face like snow. Trudge. What! the fine ladies' complexiPatty. Oh lud, ma'am, I'm frightened out ons? Oh, yes, exactly; for too much heat very of my wits! sure as I'm alive, ma'am, Mr. Ink- often dissolves 'em! Then their dress, too. le is not dead; I saw his man, ma'am, just Wows. Your countrymen dress so? now, coming ashore in a boat with other pas- Trudge. Better, better, a great deal. Why, sengers, from the vessel that's come to the a young flashy Englishman will sometimes island. [Exit. carry a whole fortune on his back. But did
Nar. [To Camp.] Look'ye, Mr. Campley, you mind the women? All here — and there; something has happened which makes me waive [Pointing before and behind] they have it ceremonies. If you mean to apply to my fa- all from us in England. And then the fine ther, remember that delays are dangerous. Camp. Indeed!
things they carry on their heads, Wowski. Wows. Iss. One lady carry good fish-so fine, she call every body to look at her.
Nar. I mayn't be always in the same mind, you know. [Smiling Trudge. Pshaw! an old woman bawling Camp. Nay, then-Gad, I'm almost afraid flounders. But the fine girls we meet, here, too-but living in this state of doubt is tor- on the quay-so round, and so plump! ment. I'll e'en put a good face on the matter; cock my hat; make my bow; and try to reason the Governor into compliance. Faint beart never won a fair lady.
Why should I vain fears dicover,
Wows. You not love me now.
Trudge. Not love you! Zounds, have not I given you proofs?
Wows. Iss. Great many: but now you get here, you forget poor Wowski!
Trudge. Not I: I'll stick to you like wax.