here. Sometimes, indeed one unknown Person brings another equally unknown, to recommend him; and sometimes they recommend one another! As to this Gentleman, I must refer you to himself for his Character and Merits, with which he is certainly better acquainted than I can possibly be. I recommend him however to those Civilities, which every Stranger, of whom one knows no Harm, has a Right to; and I request you will do him all the good Offices, and show him all the Favour that, on further Acquaintance, you shall find him to deserve. I have the Honour to be, etc. [B. F.] A DIALOGUE BETWEEN BRITAIN, FRANCE, SPAIN, HOLLAND, SAXONY AND AMERICA Britain. Sister of Spain, I have a Favour to ask of you. My Subjects in America are disobedient, and I am about to chastize them; I beg you will not furnish them with any Arms or Ammunition. Spain. Have you forgotten, then, that when my Subjects in the Low Countries rebelled against me, you not only furnish'd them with military Stores, but join'd them with an Army and a Fleet? I wonder how you can have the Impudence to ask such a Favour of me, or the Folly to expect it! Britain. You, my dear Sister of France, will surely not refuse me this Favour. France. Did you not assist my Rebel Hugenots with a Fleet and an Army at Rochelle? And have you not lately aided privately and sneakingly my Rebel Subjects in Corsica? And do you not at this Instant keep their Chief, pension'd, and ready to head a fresh Revolt there, whenever you can find or make an Opportunity? Dear Sister, you must be a little silly! Britain. Honest Holland! You see it is remembered that I was once your Friend; you will therefore be mine on this Occasion. I know, indeed, you are accustom'd to smuggle with these Rebels of mine. I will wink at that; sell 'em as much Tea as you please, to enervate the Rascals, since they will not take it of me; but for God's sake don't supply them with any Arms! Holland. 'T is true you assisted me against Philip, my Tyrant of Spain, but have I not assisted you against one of your Tyrants; and enabled you to expell him? Surely that Accompt, as we Merchants say, is ballanced, and I am nothing in your Debt. I have indeed some Complaints against you, for endeavouring to starve me by your Navigation Acts; but, being peaceably dispos'd, I do not quarrel with you for that. I shall only go on quietly with my own Business. Trade is my Profession: 't is all I have to subsist on. And, let me tell you, I shall make no scruple (on the prospect of a good Market for that Commodity) even to send my ships to Hell and supply the Devil with Brimstone. For you must know, I can insure in London against the Burning of my Sails. America to Britain. Why, you old bloodthirsty Bully! You who have been everywhere vaunting your own Prowess, and defaming the Americans as poltroons! You who have boasted of being able to march over all their Bellies with a single Regiment! You who by Fraud have possessed yourself of their strongest Fortress, and all the arms they had stored up in it! You who have a disciplin'd Army in their Country, intrench'd to the Teeth, and provided with every thing! Do you run about begging all Europe not to supply those poor People with a little Powder and Shot? Do you mean, then, to fall upon them naked and unarm'd, and butcher them in cold Blood? Is this your Courage? Is this your Magnanimity? Britain. Oh! you wicked — Whig Presbyterian Serpent! Have you the Impudence to appear before me after all your Disobedience? Surrender immediately all your Liberties and Properties into my Hands, or I will cut you to Pieces. Was it for this that I planted your country at so great an Expence? That I protected you in your Infancy, and defended you against all your Enemies? America. I shall not surrender my Liberty and Property, but with my Life. It is not true, that my Country was planted at your expence. Your own Records refute that Falshood to your Face. Nor did you ever afford me a Man or a Shilling to defend me against the Indians, the only Enemies I had upon my own Account. But, when you have quarrell'd with all Europe, and drawn me with you into all your Broils, then you value yourself upon protecting me from the Enemies you have made for me. I have no natural Cause of Difference with Spain, France, or Holland, and yet by turns I have join'd with you in Wars against them all. You would not suffer me to make or keep a separate Peace with any of them, tho' I might easily have done it to great Advantage. Does your protecting me in those Wars give you a Right to fleece me? If so, as I fought for you, as well as you for me, it gives me a proportionable Right to fleece you. What think you of an American Law to make a Monopoly of you and your Commerce, as you have done by your Laws of me and mine? Content yourself with that Monopoly if you are Wise, and learn Justice if you would be respected! Britain. You impudent b- -h! Am not I your Mother Country? Is that not a sufficient Title to your Respect and Obedience? Saxony. Mother country! Hah, hah, he! What Respect have you the front to claim as a Mother Country? You know that I am your Mother Country, and yet you pay me none. Nay, it is but the other day, that you hired Ruffians to rob me on the Highway," and burn my House!3 For shame! Hide your Face and hold your Tongue. If you continue this Conduct, you will make yourself the Contempt of Europe! 1 Britain. O Lord! Where are my friends? France, Spain, Holland, and Saxony, all together. Friends! Believe us, you have none, nor ever will have any, 'till you mend your Manners. How can we, who are your Neighbours, have any regard for you, or expect any Equity from you, should your Power increase, when we see how basely and unjustly you have us'd both your own Mother and your own Children? 1 Prussians. "They enter'd and rais'd Contributions in Saxony. [1777.] And they burnt the fine Suburbs of Dresden, the Capital of Saxony. À MADAME HELVÉTIUS Chagriné de votre résolution barbare, prononcée si positivement hier au soir, de rester seule pendant la vie en honneur de votre cher mari, je me retirois chez moi, tombois sur mon lit, me croyois mort, et que je me trouvois dans les Champs-Elisées. On me demanda si j'avois envie de voir quelques personnages particuliers. "Menez-moi chez les philosophes." "Il y en a deux qui demeurent ici près dans ce jardin; ils sont de très-bons voisins, et très-amis l'un de l'autre." "Qui sont-ils ?" "Socrate et Helvétius." "Je les estime prodigieusement tous les deux; mais faites-moi voir premièrement Helvétius, parce que j'entends un peu de François et pas un mot de Grec."— Il m'a reçu avec beaucoup de courtoisie, m'ayant connu, disoit-il, de réputation il y avoit quelque temps. Il me demanda mille choses sur la guerre, et sur l'état présent de la religion, de la liberté, et du gouvernement en France. "Vous ne demandez donc rien,” lui dis-je, “de votre chère amie Madame Helvétius; et cependant elle vous aime encore excessivement, et il n'y a qu'une heure que j'étois chez elle." "Ah!" dit-il, "vous me faites ressouvenir de mon ancienne félicité. Mais il faut l'oublier pour être heureux ici. Pendant plusieurs des premières années, je n'ai pensé qu'à elle. Enfin je suis consolé. J'ai pris une autre femme; la plus semblable à elle que j'ai pu trouver. Elle n'est pas, il est vrai, toutà-fait si belle, mais elle a autant de bon sens, beaucoup d'esprit, et elle m'aime infiniment. Son étude continuelle est de me plaire, et elle est sortie actuellement chercher le meilleur nectar et ambroisie pour me régaler ce soir; restez avec moi et vous la verrez." "J'apperçois," dis-je, "que votre ancienne amie est plus fidelle que vous; car plusieurs bons partis lui ont été offerts qu'elle a refusés tous. Je vous confesse que je l'ai aimée, moi, à la folie; mais elle étoit dure à mon égard, et m'a rejeté absolument pour l'amour de vous." "Je vous plains," dit-il, “de votre malheur; car vraiment c'est une bonne et belle femme, et bien aimable. Mais l'Abbé de la R * * * * et l'Abbé M**** ne sont-ils pas encore quelquefois chez elle?" "Oui assurément; car elle n'a pas perdu un seul de vos amis." "Si vous aviez gagné l'Abbé M * * * * (avec du bon café à la crême) à parler pour vous, vous auriez peutêtre réussi; car il est raisonneur subtil comme Duns Scotus ou St. Thomas; il met ses arguments en si bon ordre qu'ils deviennent presque irrésistibles. Et si l'Abbé de la R * * * * avoit été gagne (par quelque belle édition d'un vieux classique) à parler contre vous, cela auroit été mieux; car j'ai toujours observé, que quand il lui conseilla quelque chose, elle avoit un penchant très-fort à faire le revers." A ces mots entra la nouvelle Madame Helvétius avec le nectar; à l'instant je l'ai reconnue pour être Madame Franklin, mon ancienne amie Américaine. Je l'ai réclamée, mais elle me dit froidement; "J'ai été votre bonne femme quarante-neuf années et quatre mois; presqu'un demi-siècle; soyez content de cela. J'ai formé ici une nouvelle connexion, qui durera à l'éternité." Indigné de ce refus de mon Eurydice, je pris de suite la résolution de quitter ces ombres ingrates, et revenir en ce bon monde, revoir le soleil et vous. Me voici!- Vengeons-nous! [1778.] THE EPHEMERA An Emblem of Human Life You may remember, my dear friend, that when we lately spent that happy day in the delightful garden and sweet society of the Moulin Joly, I stopt a little in one of our walks, and staid some time behind the company. We had been shown numberless skeletons of a kind of little fly, called an ephemera, whose successive generations, we were told, were bred and expired within the day. I happened to see a living company of them on a leaf, who appeared to be engaged in conversation. You know I understand all the inferior animal tongues: my too great application of the study of them is the best excuse I can give for the little progress I have made in your charming language. I listened through curiosity to the discourse of these little creatures; but as they, in their national vivacity, spoke three or four together, I could make but little of their conversation. I found, however, by some broken expressions that I heard now and then, they were disputing warmly on the merits of two foreign musicians, one a cousin, the other a moscheto; in which dispute they spent their time, |