There, while her tears deplor'd the godlike man,
Through all her train the soft infection ran,
The pious maids their mingled sorrows shed,
And mourn'd the living Hector, as the dead.

POPE'S HOMER.

CHAPTER XXII.

THE PROGRESS OF DISCONTENT.

HEN now mature in classic knowledge
The joyful youth is sent to college,

His father comes, a vicar plain,
At Oxford breed-in Anna's reign,
And thus in form of humble suitor,
Bowing, accosts a reverend tutor :

"Sir, I'm a eldest so

And this my

divine,

gest son of nine;

My wife's ambition and my own

"Was that this child should wear a gown:

"I'll warrant that his good behaviour

"Will justify your future favour:

"And for his parts, to tell the truth,

My son's a very forward youth;

"Has Horace all by heart-you'd wonder-

"And mouth's out Homer's Greek like thunder.

If you'd examire--and admit him,

"A scholarship would nicely fit him:

"That he succeeds 'tis ten to one;

"Your vote and interest, Sir!"-Tis done.

Our pupil's hopes, though twice defeated

Are with a scholarship completed,

A scholarship but half maintains,

rules are heavy chains:

And college rules ar

In garret dark he smokes and puns

A prey to discipline and duns;

And now intent on new designs,
Sighs for a fellowship-and fines.
When nine full tedious winters past,
That utmost wish is crown'd at last:
But the rich prize no sooner got,
Again he quarrels with his lot:
"These fellowships are pretty things,
"We live indeed like petty kings:
"But who can bear to waste his whole age
“Amid the dullness of a college,
"Debarr'd the common joys of life,
"And that prime bliss--a loving wife!
"O! what's a table richly spread,
"Without a woman at its head!
"Would some snug benefice but fall,
"Ye feasts, ye dinners! farewell all!
"To offices I'd bid adieu,

"Of dean, vice præs.-of bursar too;

Come, joys, that rural quiet yields,

"Come, tithes, and house, and fruitful fields !".

Too fond of liberty and case

A patron's vanity to please,

Long time he watches and by stealth,

Each frail incumbent's doubtful health;
At length and in his fortieth year,
A living drops two hundred clear!
With breast elate beyond expression,
He hurries down to take possession,
With rapture views the sweet retreat-
"What a convenient house! how neat!
"For fuel here's sufficient wood!
"Pray God the cellars may be good!
"The garden-that must be new plann'd-
"Shall these old fashion'd yew-trees stand?
"O'er yonder vacant plot shall rise
"The flow'ry shrub of thousand dyes:
"Yon wall, that feels the southern ray, ⠀⠀
"Shall blush with ruddy fruitage gay;
"While thick beneath its aspect warm,
"O'er well-rang'd hives the bees shall swarm,
"From which, ere long, of golden gleam.

Metheglin's luscious juice shall stream: f

"This aukward hut o'ergrown with ivy, "We'll alter to a modern privy; c

Up yon green slope, of hazels trim,
"An avenue so cool and dim,
"Shall to an arbour at the end,
"In spite of gout, entice a friend.
"My predecessor lov'd devotion-
"But of a garden had no notion."

Continuing this fantastic farce on,
He now commences country parson.
To make his character entire,
He weds a cousin of the squire;
Not over-weighty in the purse,
But many doctors have done worse:
And though she boasts no charms divine,
Yet she can carve and make birch wine.
Thus fixt, content he taps his barrel,
Exhorts his neighbours not to quarrel :
Finds his church wardens have discerning
Both in good liquor and good learning:
With tythes his barns replete he sees,

And chuckles o'er his surplice fees; we door.
Studies to find
d out latent dues,

And regulates the state of pews;
Rides a sleek mare with purple housing,
To share the monthly club's carousing;
Of Oxford's pranks facetious tells,
And-but on Sundays hears no bells;
Sends presents of his choicest fruit,
And prunes himself each sapless shoot.
Plants cauliflow'rs, and boasts to rear
The earliest melons of the year:24
Thinks alteration charming work is,

Keeps bantam cocks, and feeds his turkeys;
Builds in his copse a favourite bench, n
And stores the pond with carp and tench.
But ah! too soon his thoughtless breast
By cares domestic is opprestig
And a third butcher's bill and brewing
Threaten inevitable ruin; and
For children fresh expences yet,

And Dicky now for school is fit.ozul eluigadiald

"Why did I sell my college life.

"(He cries) for benefice and wife?

"Return, ye days! when endless pleasure, add
"I found in reading, or in leisure!
"When calm around the common room
"I puff'd my daily pipe's perfume;
"Rode for a stomach, and inspected,
"At annual bottlings, cork selected:
"And din'd untax'dy untroubled, under
"The portrait of our pious founder!
"When impositions were supply'd
"To light my pipe or sooth my pride.
"No cares were then for forward peas,
"A yearly longing wife to please:
"My thoughts no christ'ning dinner crost,
"No children cry'd for butter'd toast;
"And every night I went to bed,
"Without a modus in my head!

Oh! trifling head, and fickle heart;
Chagrin'd at whatsoe'er thou art;
A dupe to follies yet untry'd,

And sick of pleasures scarce enjoy'd!
Each prize possess'd thy transport ceases,
And in pursuit alone it pleases.

WARTON.

CHAPTER XXIII.

THE MODERN RAKE'S PROGRESS.

THE young Tobias was his father's joy

He train'd him, as he thought, to deeds of praise,

He taught him virtue, and he taught him truth,
And sent him early to a public school.
Here as it seem'd (but he had none to blame)
Virtue forsook him, and habitual vice
Grew in her stead. He laugh'd at honesty,
Became a sceptic, and could raise a doubt
E'en of his father's truth. Twas idly done
To tell him of another world, for wits

Knew better; and the only good on earth
Was pleasure; and not to follow that was sin.
"Sure he that made us, made us to enjoy;
"And why, said he, should my fond father prate
"Of virtue and religion? They afford
"No joys, and would abridge the scanty few
"Of Nature. Nature be my deity,

"Her let me worship, as herself enjoins, 50s

"

At the full board of plenty." Thoughtless boy!
So to a libertine he grew, a wit, so bearding su
A man of honour, boastful empty names
That dignify the villain. Seldom seen,
And when at home, under a cautious mask
Concealing the lewd soul, his father thought
He grew in wisdom as he in
grew years.
He fondly deem'd he could perceive the growth
Of goodness and of learning shooting up,
Like the young offspring of the shelter'd hop,
Unusual progress in a summer's night.

He call'd him home, with great applause dismiss'd
By his glad tutors-gave him good advice

Bless'd him, and bade him prosper. With warm heart
He drew his purse-strings, and the utmost doit

Pour'd in the youngster's palm. "Away," he cries, "Go to the seat of learning, boy. Be good,

"Be wise, be frugal, for 'tis all I can.

"

"I will," said Toby, as he bang'd the door,
And wink'd, and snapp'd his finger. "Sir, I will.
So joyful he to Alma Mater went
A sturdy fresh-man. See him just arriv'd,
Receiv'd, matriculated, and resolv'd

To drown his freshness in a pipe of port.
"Quick, Mr. Vintner, twenty dozen more;

"Some claret, too. Here's to our friends at home.
"There let 'em doze. Be it our nobler aim fagg
"To live-where stands the bottle?" Then, to town
Hies the gay spark for futile purposes,

And deeds my bashful muse disclaims to name.
From town to college, till a fresh supply

Sends him again from college up to town.

The tedious interval the mace and cue, want aid to will The tennis court and racket, the slow lounge and Hos OT From street to street, the badger-hunt, the race,