Devour'd all the Tenths*, so the idols in question, These wood and stone gods, may have equal digestion, And th' idolatrous crew, whom this Rector despises, May eat up the tithe-pig which he idolizes. London. 'Tis all but too true-grim Idolatry reigns, In full pomp, over England's lost cities and plains! On arriving just now, as my first thought and care Was, as usual, to seek out some near House of Prayer, Some calm, holy spot, fit for Christians to pray on, I was shown to-what think you?-a downright Pantheon! A grand, pillar'd temple, with niches and halls +, Full of idols and gods, which they nickname St. Paul's ; Though 'tis clearly the place where the idolatrous crew, Whom the Rector complain'd of, their dark rites pursue; Tithes were paid to the Pythian Apollo. + See Dr. Wiseman's learned and able letter to Mr. Poynder. And, 'mong all the "strange gods" Abr'ham's father carv'd out *, That he ever carv'd stranger than these I much doubt. Were it ev'n, my dear TULLY, your Hebes and Graces, And such pretty things, that usurp'd the Saints' places, I shouldn't much mind,-for, in this classic dome, Such folks from Olympus would feel quite at home. But the gods they've got here!—such a queer omnium gatherum Of misbegot things, that no poet would father 'em;— Britannias, in light, summer-wear for the skies, Old Thames, turn'd to stone, to his no small surprise, Father Nile, too, a portrait, (in spite of what's said, That no mortal e'er yet got a glimpse of his head +,) And a Ganges, which India would think somewhat fat for't, Unless 'twas some full-grown Director had sat for't; * Joshua, xxiv. 2. "Nec contigit ulli Hoc vidisse caput." CLAUDIAN. Not to mention the' et cæteras of Genii and Sphinxes, With a multitude more of odd cockneyfied deities, Shrined in such pomp that quite shocking to see it 'tis ; Nor know I what better the Rector could do But I'm call'd off to dinner-grace just has been said, And my host waits for nobody, living or dead. Captains Mosse, Riou, &c. &c. LINES* ON THE DEPARTURE OF LORDS C-ST-R-GH AND ST-W-RT FOR THE CONTINENT. At Paris et Fratres, et qui rapuère sub illis Vix tenuere manus (scis hoc, Menelaë) nefandas. Go, Brothers in wisdom-go, bright pair of Peers, And may Cupid and Fame fan you both with their pinions! The one, the best lover we have-of his years, And the other Prime Statesman of Britain's do minions. Go, Hero of Chancery, blest with the smile Of the Misses that love, and the monarchs that prize thee; Forget Mrs. Ang-lo T-yl-r awhile, And all tailors but him who so well dandifies thee. *This and the following squib, which must have been written about the year 1815-16, have been by some oversight misplaced. Ovid is mistaken in saying that it was "at Paris" these rapacious transactions took place - we should read "at Vienna." Never mind how thy juniors in gallantry scoff, Never heed how perverse affidavits may thwart thee, But show the young Misses thou'rt scholar enough To translate " Amor Fortis" a love, about forty! And sure 'tis no wonder, when, fresh as young Mars, From the battle you came, with the Orders you'd earn'd in't, That sweet Lady Fanny should cry out "my stars!" And forget that the Moon, too, was some way concern'd in't. For not the great R-g-t himself has endur'd Till he look'd like a house that was over insur'd) And 'tis plain, when a wealthy young lady so mad is, Or any young ladies can so go astray, As to marry old Dandies that might be their daddies, . The stars are in fault, my Lord St-w-rt, not they! "When weak women go astray, The stars are more in fault than they." |