Burrows, sister to young squire Burrows, commonly known as the 'Ladies' Tourist.' What an honour! how I would be envied! but to crown all, George, should you get a seat in the house of commons, as you expect, and as there is no doubt but you will, only think of how you would be mentioned in the public prints! 'twould be let me see-'When the honourable member sat down, squire Burrows, the elegant author of late tra vels on the Continent, for which he has been most deservedly denominated the 'Ladies' Tourist,' stood up, and spoke aş follows.' Bless me, George, how we would be distinguished by it! you must, indeed you must, publish a volume of travels." 66 Why look you, ladies," said the tormented squire, "by the Lord, if I had my travels just ready for the press, I would fling them in the fire, before I would leave it in the power of any igno rant puppy of a snarling, scribbling, hire, ing critic, to abuse, not only my works, but myself to all intents and purposes ! and thereby to expose me to the ridicule of the fashionable world, and that too, by a hidden cowardly scoundrel, whom I could not have the satisfaction of horsewhipping, for he would not deserve the treatment of a gentleman, for bestowing such illiberal abuse as they are in the habit of doing, and all for no other reason in the world, but because they cannot understand what they read, they call it all d-d nonsense, demme if they dont! do you think, ladies, that any gentleman of spirit could brook such impudence and scurrility? not I, demme if I would! I would not-by G-and my honour, I would not! and Charles Graves will never forgive himself for what he is now about to do. Demme if he does!" "Well, Mr. Burrows," said Clementina, " if you will not favour the public with a written account of your travels, you you will feel no hesitation, I presume, to inform us what you think of the ladies of the Continent, especially at Paris-there they are very fascinating, I understand." "Fascinating!" exclaimed the "Ladies' Tourist," conceiving himself in possession of a subject which he considered himself perfectly well calculated to discuss"fascinating! nonpareils, demme! nondescripts, by G-! there's no describing them! so much grace-such elegance of manners-such vivacity of wit, humour, and sentiment-so gay, so lovely, so volatile, so-so-so d-d bewitching altogether, that, by the Lord, a man must possess the insensibility of a stoic, or the apathy of a hermit, if he could live in Paris ten days, and be one day out of ten in his sober senses-that's the only place where life seems to live, the very fountain head and source of animation.London-demme London is a monas tery, when compared to Paris, madam! You VOL. II. I You must visit Paris-you cannot-it's impossible you can be conscious of your own existence till you visit that capital. I should be very happy to accompany you and sister Sue next summer, if you could but procure leave from your respective parents-I should indeed, 'pon my honour, 'twould give me great pleasure; and depend upon it you shall not repent it; you shall rather be angry with yourselves, that you did not visit it much earlier. Spend five months in Paris, and you see and know more life than you would in twenty years in this country-hang me!" Clementina returned George Burrows thanks for the politeness of his offer, and added, that as it was most likely sir Henry would never think of visiting Paris again, she could not think of being so long absent from him, and at such a distance; so that instead of Paris giving her any delight, she should be but miserable during her stay there. "My "My dear madam," said the astonished squire, at hearing Clementina make use of such silly arguments as that of filial affection, in excuse for her not desiring to visit the Continent" my dear madam, that is all imagination-an evident proof that you cannot form the most distant idea of the pleasures, the amusements, the incomparable and incomprehensible felicity you would feel, the moment you made your public appearance at Paris. Country, friends, relations, parents, all are forgotten, in the routine of balls, assemblies, parties, plays, operas, masquerades, and all and every fashionable amusement of the age. Talk of parents! there would be no such beings in existence, I assure you, whilst you were at Paris; I never knew I had one whilst I was there, until he ordered me home from it-not I, by-ha! ha! ha!" |