Who knocks at the Door?

For whom thus rudely pleads my loud-tongu'd gate, That he may enter ?.

See who is there?

Advance the fringed curtains of thy eyes,
And tell me who comes yonder.

Shut the Door.

The wooden guardian of our privacy
Quick on its axle turn.

Bring my Cloaths.

Bring me what Nature, taylor to the Bear,
To Man bimfelf deny'd: She gave me Cold,
But would not give me Cloaths.

Light the Fire.

Bring forth fome remnant of Promethean theft,
Quick to expand th' inclement air congeal'd
By Boreas' rude breath.

Snuff the Candle.

Yon' Luminary amputation needs,

Thus fhall you fave its half-extinguish'd life.

m Temp.

Uncork the Bottle, and chip the Bread.
Apply thine engine to the spung y door, -i
Set Bacchus from his glassy prison free,
And ftrip white Ceres of her nut-brown coat.

CHAP. XIII.

१९

A Project for the Advancement of the

TH

Bathos.

HUS have I (my dear Countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, difcovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open the Abyfies of this Great Deepe And having now eftablished good and wholefome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns with their utmoft might do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall in the fecond place highly deferve of my Country, by propofing fuch a 'Scheme, as may facilitate. this great end.

As our Number is confeffedly far fuperior to that Theob. Double Falfhood,

of the enemy, there feems nothing wanting but Unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm affociation, and incorporate into One regular Body, whereof every member, even the meaneft, will fome way contribute to the fupport of the whole; in like manner, as the weakest reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our Art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other Arts of this Age. The vaft improvement of modern manufactures arifeth from their being divided into feveral branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades: For instance, in Clock-making one artist makes the balance, another the fpring another the crown-wheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together: To this oeconomy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtless we also might that of our modern Poetry and Rhetoric, were the feveral parts branched out in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident than that divers per-"" fons, no other way remarkable, have each a strong difpofition to the formation of fome particular. Trope or Figure. Ariftotle faith, that the Hyperbole is an ornament fit for young Men of Quality; accordingly we find in thofe Gentlemen a wonderful propenfity toward it, which is marvellously improved by Travelling: Soldiers alfo and Seamen are very hap-':

py in the fame Figure. The Periphrafis or Circum Locution is the peculiar talent of Country Farmers; the Proverb and Apalogue of old men at their clubs; the Ellipfis or Speech by half words, of Minifters and Politicians, the Apofiopefis of Courtiers, the Litotes or Diminution of Ladies, Whisperers and Backbiters, and the Anadiplofis of common Cryers and Hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their ayfters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingfgate, Sarcasm and Irony learned upon the Water, and the Epiphonema or Exclamation frequently from the Beargarden, and as frequently from the Hear him of the Houfe of Commons.

Now each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular Figure, would doubtless attain to perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the Society (as hath been proposed) a Poet or Orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular Traders in each, Kind, to the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to the Simile-maker for his Comparisons, to the Ironift for his Sarcafms, to the Apothegmatift for his Sentences, etc. whereby a Dedication or Speech would be compofed in a moment, the fuperior artist having nothing to do but to put together all the Materials.

I therefore propose that there be contrived with all convenient difpatch, at the publick expence, a

Rhetorical Cheft of Drawers, confifting of three Stories, the highest for the Deliberative, the middle for the Demonftrative, and the loweft for the Judicial. These fhall be divided into Laci, or Places, being repofitories for Matter and Argument in the several kinds of oration or writing; and every Drawer fhall again be fub-divided into Cells, refembling those of Cabinets for Rarities, The apartment for Peace or War, and that of the Liberty of the Prefs, may in a very few days be filled with several arguments perfectly new ; and the Vituperative Partition will as eafily be replenished with a moft choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every compofer will foon be taught the ufe of this Cabinet, and how to manage all the Registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of thofe in an Organ.

The Keys of it must be kept in honeft hands, by fome Reverend Prelate, or Valiant Officer, of unqueftioned Loyalty and Affection to every prefent Eftablishment in Church and State; which will fufficiently guard against any mischief which might other wife be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at discretion let out by the Day, to several great Orators in both Houses; from whence it is to be hoped much Profit and Gain will also accrue to our Society.