A COMEDY, IN FIVE ACTS.-BY PHILIP MASS INGER. WELLBORN discovered, in tattered apparel, knocking at the Alehouse-door; TAPWELL and FROTH come from the house. Well. No credit? nor no liquor? Tap. Not a suck, sir; Not the remainder of a single can, Left by a drunken porter. AMBLE. WATCHALL. VINTNER. TAILOR. SERVANTS. LADY ALLWORTE. MARGARET. ABIGAIL. TABITHA. FROTH. Tap. Advance your Plymouth cloak, There dwells, and within call, if it please your That does command a citadel, call'd the stocks; A potent monarch, call'd the constable, [worship, Such as with great dexterity will hale Your threadbare, tatter'd Well. Rascal! slave! Fro'h. No rage, sir. Tap. At his own peril. Do not put yourself In too much heat, there being no water near Froth. Not the dropping of the tap for your To quench your thirst; and other drink, I take it, morning's draught, sir: 'Tis verity, I assure you. Well. Verity, you brach! The devil turned precisian? Rogue, what am I? Tap. Troth, durst I trust you with a lookingglass, To let you see your trim shape, you would quit me, And take the name yourself. Well. How? dog! (Raising his cudgel.) No. 6.-THE BRITISH DRAMA. K You must no more remember; not in a dream, sir. Well. Why, thou unthankful villain, dar'st thou talk thus? Is not thy house, and all thou hast, my gift? Well. Am not I he, Whose riots fed and cloth'd thee? Wert thou not Born on my father's land, and proud to be A drudge in his house? Tap. What I was, sir, it skills not; My quondam master, was a man of worship; Reliev'd the poor, and so forth; but he dying, Late master Francis, but now forlorn Wellborn- You cannot out of your way. [gallant, Tap. You were then a lord of acres, the prime And I your under butler. O you'd merry time of't; hawks and bounds, Well. Some curate hath penn'd this invective, And you have studied it. [mongrel, Your land gone, and your credit not worth a token, You grew the common borrower; no man 'scap'd you; Tap. I have not done yet; Where poor Tim Tapwell, with a little stock, Allw. E'en the best of the shire, Frank, My lord excepted; such as sue and send, And send and sue again; but to no purpose. Their frequent visits have not gain'd her presence; Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride, That, I dare undertake, you shall meet from her A liberal entertainment. Well. I doubt it not. Now, Allworth, listen to me, And mark my counsel: I am bound to give it. Allw. I thank your noble care; but pray you, in what Do I run the hazard? Well. Art thou not in love? Put it not off with wonder. Allw. In love? Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are transparent. I've heard all, and the choice that you have made; All. Howe'er you have discover'd my intents, Well. Grant this true, As I believe it, canst thou ever hope To enjoy a quiet bed with her, whose father Ruin'd thy state? Allw. And yours too. Well. I confess it, Allworth. Or canst thou think, if self-love blind thee not, Will e'er consent to make her thine? Give o'er, Alli. You have well advis'd me. But, in the meantime, you, that are so studious Remember yourself, and in what plight you are. You know my fortune, and my means; yet something I can spare from myself, to help your wants. Well. How's this? Alli. Nay, be not angry. Well. Money from thee? From a boy? one that lives At the devotion of a stepmother, (Offers him money.) And the uncertain favour of a lord? I'll eat my arms first. How soe'er blind Fortune Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me, Though I am rudely thrust out of an alehouse, And thus accoutred,-know not where to eat, SCENE IL-A Hali in Lady Allworth's house. AMBLE, ORDER, FURNACE, and WATCHALL, discovered. Ord. Set all things right; or, as my name is And by this staff of office that commands you, For one whole week makes forfeiture of his breakfast, And privilege in the wine-cel'ar. Wat. You are merry, Good master Steward. Fur. Let him; I'll be angry. Amb. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve o'clock yet, Nor dinner taken up; then 'tis allow'd, Fur. You think you've spoken wisely, goodman My lady's go-before. Ord. Nay, nay, no wrangling. [Amble, Fur. Twit me with the authority of the kitchen! At all hours, and at all places, I'll be angry; And, thus provok'd, when I am at my prayers I will be angry. Amb. There was no hurt meant. Fur. I'm friends with thee; and yet I will be Wat. With whom? [angry. Fur. No matter whom; yet, now I think on't, I'm angry with my lady. Amb. Heaven forbid, man! Ord. What cause has she given thee? I was entertain'd by her to please her palate, By such as pretend love to her; but come Enter LADY ALLWORTH, ABIGAIL and Lady. Sort those silks well. [Exeunt Tabitha and Abigail. And, as I gave directions, if this morning I'm visited by any, entertain them As heretofore; but say, in my excuse, I'm indispos'd. Ord. We shall, madam. [Exeunt Watchall, Furnace, Order, and Nay, stay you, Allworth. Tell me, how is't with Allw. Ever like himself; No scruple lesson'd in the full weight of honour. He did command me, pardon my presumption,As his unworthy deputy, to kiss Your ladyship's fair hands. Lady. I'm honour'd in His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose All. Constantly, good madam; But will, in person, first present his service. Like virgin parchment, capable of any I will not force your will, but leave you free Allw. Any form you please I will put on; but, might I make my choice, Lady. 'Tis well answer'd; And I commend your spirit: your father, Allworth, [hear Most honour d madam, more than a mother to me; Lady. I much hope it. These were your father's words: If e'er my son They do presume they may with license practice To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies: In a fair cause; and, for their country's sake, Allwo. There's no syllable You speak, but is to me an oracle. Beware ill company; for, often, men Are like to those with whom they do converse; And from one man I warn you, and that's Well born; Not, 'cause he's poor, that rather claims your pity; But that he's in his manners so deprav'd, Which we, that are her servants, ought to serve, Of rich Canary, which shall spend itself Gree. Is it of the right race? (Sir G. and Mar. converse apart.) Save your good worship. Gree. Honest master Cook, thy hand; again, how Are the good dishes still in being? speak, boy. Of beef well season'd. Gree. Good. Fur. A pheasant larded. Gre. That I might now give thanks for't! Fur. Will you know your way, sir? By the head and shoulders? Well. No; I will not stir; [the wretch Do you mark? I will not. (Starts up.) Let me see 1 Fur. Besides, there came last night, from the To carry in a dish, and shift a trencher; forest of Sherwood, The fattest stag I ever cook'd. Gree. A stag, man? All business set aside, let us give thanks here. Gree. Cause me no causes; I'll prove't, for such We may put off a commission; you shall find it Sir G. Fie, master Greedy, Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a dinner? Gree. Well, you shall o'er-rule me. Cook? That have not souls only to hope a blessing (Beats them.) All the Servants. Help, fellows, help! Ord. Here comes my lady, Enter LADY ALLWORTH. Lady. How now? What noise is this? Well. Madam, my designs Bear me to you. Lady. To me? Well. And, though I've met with Within But ragged entertainment from your grooms here, Lady. I'm amaz'd, To see and hear this rudeness. Dar'st thou think, Do you hear, master But, as in form you are angelical, Send but a corner of that immortal pasty, Fur. Will you be so prodigal? Sir G. (To Ord.) Remember me to your lady. Whom have we here? Imitate the heavenly natures, and vouchsafe |