Page images
PDF
EPUB

“ July 21st. “My time would pass more pleasantly to myself on Prospect Hill, in company with you and H.; but business must be attended to. Providence knows the path which is best for me, and in that, I endeavour to walk rejoicing. I experience constant support and comfort from the Divine hand, as I believe I am in the way of duty, and I try to look there for aid. Forget not to pray for me, my brother, as I think your interest at the throne is beginning to be something. May you be also assisted in the path which appears to be before you, that of joining yourself to the visible Church. On Friday evening I saw two persons baptized in Dr. R.'s church; one of them appeared to be a little older than you, the other was almost, or quite as old as our father.”

“Keep near the throne, and be careful to study the Scriptures.” “Remember that studying the Scriptures is of more consequence than studying Latin, but you ought not to neglect either." “ Be not afraid of duty, trust in the Lord.”

“ July 23d. “ My Dear Brother:– The importance of your doing what is so evidently your duty, appears to me greater and greater every day. I yesterday had an opportunity of conversing with a young man much in your situation, only his mind was rather more fixed on the duty of going forward immediately. This waiting, this cold formal prudence, after having experienced what you have, is not right. You will, I am afraid, reap bad consequences from it, if you indulge it too far. I am only anxious for your welfare, my dear brother. When I came forward to join the Church, satan threw some doubts in my way, and pretty strong ones too, but they were happily solved, and I have reason to thank and praise my Maker for ever and ever, that I came forward as I did. Had I not done it, that duty would have

arisen in my path as a great obstacle, and very likely I should have sunk back, at least for a time, into coldness and worldly mindedness. My brother, what can you have more? God has graciously wrought a good work in your heart. He has convinced you of sin ; he has caused you to fly to him for relief; he has given you comfort in prayer, and this, again and again. And now, why hesitate in com. ing forward, and placing yourself more immediately under his care, and acknowledging him before men! If you wait until you are perfect, you will wait for ever. He expects you to be unworthy and sinful, only he expects you to come, casting yourself upon him, acknowledging your unworthiness, and trusting in Jesus for pardon and accept

He has given you hope, because he has comforted you in prayer."

“Ob, my brother, I want to see you in the arms of our Lord Jesus—in the pale of his visible Church. It is your duty to acknowledge him before men, and then he will delight, more and more, to acknowledge you by comforting you : and he will acknowledge you, when he shall appear with his holy angels."

“ The Lord be with you, and direct your steps. Pray to him more and more, my brother. Keep near his throne, and he will always lighten up your path for you, until he takes you to himself. Delay not to acknowledge him. Delay has been too long already. Delays are dangerous."

ance.

I gladly give another letter which he wrote a few days previous to my uniting myself to the Church. Contrary to his expectation, he was enabled to be with me on that occasion.

" New-YORK, July 30th, 1812. “ Dear and only Brother:-As you are about to be my brother in two respects, I may now consider you as doubly near to me. I was anxious to be with you on the approach. ing Sabbath, but Providence wills it otherwise. Our Heavenly Father will support you and take care of you, and all I could do, if I was with you, would be to direct you to him. Lift up your head and rejoice, for he has blessed you; he has called you, by his grace, from a world lying in wickedness; he has given you to taste of his goodness, and is bringing you to himself. Yes, my brother, you are peculiarly favoured. Why are you called into the sold of his love, while thousands of others are wandering without, given up to their own hearts' lusts, stumbling upon the dark mountains ? My dear brother, it is grace, rich and ever adorable grace; it is for his own name's sake he has blessed you; and for the merits of a dear, a precious, a lovely, and glorious Redeemer, he has had compassion on you. You will praise him and serve him for it, while life, below, remains; and then praise him for ever in the family above.

For oh! Eternity's too short

To utter all his praise.

“ The path of the just shineth more and more unto the perfect day. You are only to keep near the throne of your Heavenly Father, and he will bless you, and kindly take care of you. Not a hair of your head shall fall to the ground without his knowledge. He will love you ; he will keep you in the hollow of his hand; he will cover you with his wings, and in his shadow shall you trust.”

“My dear brother, I could join you in a Hallelujah that shall last for ever. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. My brother, he who alone remains to me of my dear departed mother, and who is the helper and solace of our beloved remaining parent, is about being gathered into the sheep-fold of Jesus.' Perhaps it is not best I should be present, because my joy would be too great. Father in Heaven, I thank thee for it. Blessed spirit of the departed, look down and let it add to your felicity, to see the only remaining of your offspring about to give himself up to Jesus. This is what you have prayed for when on earth. Now it is our prayer, that we may in sincerity serve our God, our Father, and our Redeemer here below, and then go to join you in the family above. Yes, my brother, when our spirits shall depart to the celestial regions, will not that dear spirit join the angels that come to meet us, and welcome us to those scenes of glorious felicity, where saints will be our companions, Jesus present with us in all his glory, and our Heavenly Father the light and joy of all ?”

My dear brother, only look to our Heavenly Father, for a blessing and for direction. Go to him in humble prayer, and he will be with you, and will bless you. Adieu. Remember me when you are at the Table, and may a dou. ble portion of the Divine blessing rest upon you.

BENJ’N. ALLEN, JR."

I feel convinced that the light of this correspondence, for which I have so much cause to bless my God, should no longer be kept in obscurity. The more I examine it, the more it appears to me adapted to general usefulness. Yea, from the first actings of the principle of spiritual life in the soul, the fostering hand of wisdom and love are here dis. played, so as to encourage and animate, in every step of the humble inquirer, until he is enabled to rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

[ocr errors]

CHAPTER V.

THE MODE OF CONDUCTING HIS TEMPORAL

AFFAIRSHIS

HEALTH FAILS-BIRTH OF HIS FIRST SON-AND THE PUB

LICATION OF HIS THIRD, FOURTH, AND FIFTH VOLUME OF

POEMS.

EARLY in 1813, I was again separated from my brother. He continued in New York, and I entered the Academy in Elizabeth-Town, New Jersey.

The sale and exchange of his books, necessarily led him to frequent intercourse with the speculating world. He partook so much of their spirit, as to be led to contract for considerable real estate. And he often laboured under much pecuniary embarrassment. On the 4th of January, 1813, a judgment was entered on his bond which he had not been able to meet, for $875,25. I am, however, gratified to find that $500 was paid on the 1st of May, and the concern was settled the following May.

In the description of his property which he gave, as bound by the above judgment, he specifies eight lots of land in the city of Hudson, valued at $1800. Personal property, mostly in books, $2800.

To this estimate is annexed the following note: “I would give Mr. a bond and warrant on the above, provided the time be extended to four months. I do not doubt my ability to meet the sum ere the sixty days expire, but am not willing to place myself or family within reach of contingencies. Yours, B. ALLEN, JR."

1

« EelmineJätka »