morning I waked, very angry at your phantom for leaving me fo abruptly.---I know you delight in my mortification. I dined with an old Beauty; fhe appear'd at the table like a Death's head enamell'd. The Egyptians, you know, had fuch things at their entertainments; but do you think they painted and patched them? However, the last of these objections was soon remov'd; for the lady had fo violent an appetite for a falmon, that the quickly eat all the patches off her face. She divided the fish into three parts; not equal, God knows; for she helped Gay to the head, me to the middle, and making the reft much the largest part took it herself, and cried very naively, I'll be content with my own tail.

My fupper was as fingular as my dinner. It was with a great Poet and Ode-maker (that is, a great poet out of his wits, or out of his way.) He came to me very hungry; not for want of a dinner (for that I should make no jest of) but, having forgot to dine. He fell moft furiously on the broil'd relics of a shoulder of mutton, commonly call'd a blade-bone: he profeffed he never tafted fo exquisite a thing! begged me to tell him what joint it was; wondered he had never heard the name of this joint, or feen it at other tables; and defir'd to know how he might direct his butcher to cut out the fame

for

for the future? And yet this man, fo ignorant in modern butchery, has cut up half an hundred heroes, and quartered five or fix miferable lovers in every tragedy he has written. I have nothing more to tell you to day.

LETTER V.

The Answer.

You should have my Day too, Sir, but indeed I flept it out, and fo I'll give you all that was left, my laft Night's entertainment. You know the company. I went in late, in order to be better receiv'd; but unluckily came in, as Deuce-ace was flinging (Lord H. would fay I came in the Nick.) The Lady colour'd, and the men took the name of the Lord in vain: No body spoke to me, and I fat down disappointed; then affecting a careless air, gap'd, and cried seven or eight times, D'ye win or lofe? I could fafely fay at that moment I had no temptation to any one of the seven, lively fins; and in the innocent way I was, happy had it been for me if I had died! Moralizing fat I by the hazard-table; I looked upon the uncertainty of riches, the decay of beauty, and the crash of worlds with as much contempt as ever Plate

VOL. VII.

M

Plato did. But ah! the frailty of human nature! fome ridiculous thought came into my head, wakened my paffions, which burst forth into a violent laughter: I rofe from my seat, and not confidering the juft refentments of the lofing gamesters, hurl'd a ball of paper cross the table, which ftop'd the dice, and turn'd up feven inftead of five. Curs'd on all fides, and not knowing where to fly, I threw myself into a chair, which I demolish'd and never spoke a word after. We went to fupper, and a lady faid, Miss G. looks prodigiously like a Tree. Every body agreed to it, and I had not curiofity to ask the meaning of that sprightly fancy: Find it out, and let me know. Adieu, 'tis time to dress, and begin the business of the day.

LETTER VI.

In the Style of a Lady.

RAY what is your opinion of Fate? for I

PRA

muft confess I am one of those that believe in Fate and Predeftination.---No, I can't go fo far as that, but I own I am of opinion one's stars may incline, tho' not compel one; and that is a fort of free-will; for we may be able to refift inclination, but not compulfion.

Don't

Don't you think they have got in the most prepofterous fashion this winter that ever was, of flouncing the petticoat so very deep, that it looks like an entire coat of luteftring?

It is a little cool indeed for this time of year, but then, my dear, you'll allow it has an extreme clean pretty look.

Ay, fo has my muslin apron; but I would not chufe to make it a winter fuit of cloaths.

Well now I'll fwear, child, you have put me in mind of a very pretty drefs; let me die if I don't think a muflin flounce, made very full, would give one a very agreeable Flirtation

air.

Well, I swear it would be charming! and I fhould like it of all things---Do you think there are any fuch things as Spirits? Do you believe there is any fuch place as the Elyfian Fields? O Gad, that would be charming! I wish I were to go to the Elysian Fields when I die, and then I should not care if I were to leave the world to-morrow: But is one to meet there with what one has lov'd moft in this world?

Now you must tell me this pofitively. To be fure you can, or what do I correspond with you for, if you won't tell me all? you know I abominate Reserve.

LETTER VII.

Bath, 1714.

You

OU are to understand, Madam, that my paffion for your fair self and your fifter,

has been divided with the most wonderful regularity in the world. Even from my infancy I have been in love with one after the other of you, week by week, and my journey to Bath fell out in the three hundred seventy-sixth week of the reign of my fovereign lady Sylvia. At the present writing hereof it is the three hundred eighty-ninth week of the reign of your most serene majefty, in whose service I was lifted fome weeks before I beheld your fifter. This information will account for my writing to either of you hereafter, as either shall happen to be Queen-regent at that time. Pray tell your fifter, all the good qualities and virtuous inclinations fhe has, never gave me so much pleasure in her conversation, as that one vice of her obftinacy will give me mortification this month. Ratcliffe commands her to the Bath, and the refufes! indeed if I were in Berkshire I should honour her for this obftinacy, and magnify her no less for disobedience than we do the Barcelonians. But people change with the change of places (as we

fee