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will admit to go to Jerusalem, to try if by any means they can procure his deliverance at the holy cross or sepulchre.

"You know very well, reverend father, in what tender and pious strain to tell your story; and to make it penetrate the deeper, you can shed a few crocodile tears over it: if you manage wisely, you may in this case, sell your tears at more than a crown each. Be sure thus always to find out some impediment or other to the old man's release; you may bring him often to the gates, but if once you let him go through, all your hopes are over from this quarter. Care should also be taken to inform the young heir of the tremendous curses the pope has denounced against those impious children, who enjoy their wealth and ease, whilst they suffer their poor unhappy parents to lie roasting in purgatory, rather than pay the priests for delivering them."

FAST. Aye, Avaro! But what if the young gentleman should have sense enough to see through the villainy of the parsons, and courage enough to refuse the money? How then, cousin?

AVAR. That was what I was going to tell you, sir, for continued I, “If, sir, young Squire Great-purse should have sagacity enough to see through your scheme, and deny you the money, let one of your most devout brethren assume the ghost, from night to night haunt his dwelling, and in an articulate manner utter in the name of the father deceased, the most dreadful curses against his undutiful son, who possesseth a large estate in peace and pleasure, whilst his poor father lies broiling in the flames of purgatory. By these means you may procure either all, or most of the estate to yourselves.

FAST. An excellent scheme! and from what I have known of those reverend worthies, exactly suited to their taste and principles.

AVAR. It was so, as you shall hear, for I had no sooner finished, but the aged father, who was not likely to live to say many more masses, arose, and with tears in his eyes, thanked me a thousand times for my cordial advice: protesting that nothing could be better adapted to the end proposed, or more agreeable to the principles both of him and his brethren: assuring me that they would follow my directions as invariably as Saturn does his orbit.

FAST. By this account of the Romish priests it appears that they are at no loss for merchandise. Purgatorial fire, holy water, masses, dispensations, pardons, &c. are commodities which do not require a very large capital, and yet are attended with considerable profits. The great parsons, over and above the tithe of the lands, have very advantageous craft by this means: but between you and me, cousin, it is all the merchandise of the scarlet strumpet.

Avas. It would be dangerous to our interest if the world

should know the truth. Then our great vicegerent would be worshipped as a god no more; the wondrous beast which ascended out of the sea of ignorance and error would be torn limb from limb, and his carcase be given to the hawks and ravens.

FAST. So then I find that you are a papist as well as me. myself have large concerns among the clergy, and with none more than his holiness the pope, the great parson at Rome; the parson of the parsons. This universal parson, though he pretends to be descended from Peter my enemy, hath conceived such a good opinion of my abilities, that he will not make a decree, nor publish a bull, till I have put the finishing hand to it. You know, cousin, that I am none of those who are backward in shewing their opinion, but readily dictate to all who refer themselves to my direction. As to his holiness, notwithstanding he is the father of the whole church, he is my humble servant; and as I said before, consults me upon all occasions. The advice, that I give, in general, is, that by all means he take care to keep up his authority over the consciences and liberties of mankind": and the same advice I give to the clergy in general; hence every parson attempts to reign, within his own district, despotic and supreme over the consciences of the people, who are obliged under pain of damnation to honour him as the plenipotentiary of heaven, and the arbitrary distributer of blessings and curses. I advise his holiness at all events, to support his infallibility beyond the scriptures of truth, and his supremacy above the laws of God or man. This same advice, I whisper in the ear of my clergy in general, who to a man agree that the scriptures shall not pass with toleration, unless it is drest in the garb of their interpretations; as such, and only as such, it is imposed on their parishioners. The good old vicar never contradicts any thing I say, notwithstanding he knows at the same time, his pretensions to be a cheat; but to the utmost of his power follows the directions of his adored Fastosus; and never did mortal man shew more implicit obedience to the monarch of darkness.

AVAR. So then the papists worship his holiness the pope, and he worships the devil Fastosus. Is not this the system of the popish divinity in a few words, uncle?

FAST. It is so; and a system adhered to by many who are called protestants: for with such love to wealth and honour have you and I inspired them, that although as reasonable beings they must know that, the almighty ruler will bring their ways into impartial scrutiny, and judge them for their fallacious guile : yet for the sake of worldly riches and honour, at all events, they resolutely follow our directions.

AVAR. Aye, sir, that is the heaven of the priests: they both seek and have their reward. The fat of the land is in their possession, and they are honoured as the directors of conscience. And yet they are the successors of the apostles, who had neithe

silver nor gold; and yet they are the ministers of Jesus, wno would not receive honours from men. And yet they are the most numble creatures that ever lived; and yet it is death to contradict them.

FAST. Having made sure of the mighty father of the world, nis holiness of Rome, to join issue with us in promoting our interest among men: I have an excellent device to insure all the other ranks of his dependent clergy to our interest likewise. The patriarchs and cardinals are sure to prove loyal to the pope, and of consequence to us, from a hope which I have inspired each of them with, of one day ascending the papal throne himself. The loyalty of the arch-bishops is insured by the hope of a cardinal's hat, and their right reverences the bishops, are sure to remain inoffensive animals, in hope of attaining, in some future period, the archiepiscopal dignity. The same device runs through all the other ranks of the clergy, and thereby they are all rendered my humble servants. By these things it appears that we are likely to have a very plentiful harvest.

AVAR. Doubt it not, Fastosus. Belzebub's regions will be well provided with gentlemen in holy orders, who are so dexterous in managing the cheat, that it is carried on, unperceived by their adorers.---Look ye, Fastosus! who comes? 'Tis Crudelis! Where do ye think that deformed spirit can be going now?

FAST. He is on the scent of blood, I warrant him. By his nature, he might have been got by a panther, and nursed by a mountain bear.

AVAR. Let us call him, sir, perhaps we may learn some news of him. So, ho! Crudelis, what, not a word with you?

CRUD. Hah, gentlemer are you here? I did not think of meeting with you, my dear friends and fellow destroyers. How do you do, Fastosus? and how do you, Avaro?

BOTH. We are pretty well, cousin; only jaded a little with constant application to business. But pray, Crudelis, how have you been employed of late?

CRUD. Employed do you say? never fear me. I have not been idle, I assure you. Do you suppose that I can pick up no game in Britain in this golden age? If you do, you are greatly mistaken. It is true, that some of the late kings of England have been my avowed enemies, and as far as in them lay have expelled me the kingdom. But be they as vigilant as they will, I find opportunity of breaking through the fences which they have reared against me: when you may be sure if I cannot get great, I pick up small game; of which I only give you a very small specimen at present. In one place I persuade an ambitious child to poison, or otherwise kill, an old cumbersome parent, who will not die without violent measures. I prevail with a rogue, in another place to dispatch his woman and her brat, to preserve his

own reputation and estate. In a third, I stir up an ambitious servant to kill and plunder his master; and frequently I can prevail with one gentleman to kill another in a duel, on some punctilio of false honour. And sometimes, I persuade the despairing wretch to lay violent hands on himself, destroy his own miserable life, and by doing so enter upon another infinitely more miserable. Then I take to my heels, and am followed with a hue and cry all over the nation. But thank you, I am too swift for them all: I never give them time to say, "Crudelis is here." But they often say, "These are the tricks of that horrid devil, Crudelis."

Yesterday I was attending a duel, which I myself stirred up, (as I suppose you know that all duels are of my instigation,) so it was here, I persuaded the gentlemen combatants to fight with sword and pistol, hoping that both would have fallen in the action. But though my design was good, as ill-luck would have it, it miscarried, and only one of them bit the ground; however, I am not without hope that the other will be hanged for the murder, and if so, then I have my design. I assure you, gentlemen, I use my utmost endeavours to throng the nether regions. O my brother destroyers! I could tell you such stories as would make you bless yourselves, and adore the prince Crudelis. These are but trifling things, thrown in to whet your appetite against the next opportunity. Then you shall hear. But for this time I must be going. Adieu, gentry, for I smell blood at a distance.

FAST. "Tis amazing what power this deformed fiend hath obtained over mankind: what ills, so very different from the prin ciples of humanity, that he hath by his bar-insinuations introduced. What is very surprising, he hath made mankind more cruel to one another, than we infernal spirits are among ourselves He stirs them up to destroy and devour one another; but we are never known to quarrel among ourselves, nor to make war upon our own race: be that the part of foolish man; we devils are masters of better policy. This very Crudelis himself, sanguine as he is to devour blinded mortals, lays aside all his vora city when he joins our black assembly, and is as tame a devil as any of us. Well may you and I destroy with success, when such a deformed lump of hell as Crudelis, is made welcome among them.

AVAR. But with your leave, sir, as Crudelis is gone, let us resume our discourse. I remember before he interrupted us, you briefly hinted that you were somewhat addicted to religion, and that you are a papist too. I was never wont to consider you as a religious devil, much less did I think that you assumed to yourself any of those distinctions, which divide the professedly Christian world. I thought formerly that the great Fastosus had dwelt only in king's courts, with people of soft raiment, and

Decasionally waited on the nobility and gentry, at their country seats. What the devil, Fastosus, a papist too!

FAST. In reality, Avaro, (to make use of a human phrase) your ignorance is enough to provoke the very devil. Do not you know yet, that if I were not Jack of all trades and religions, I could never maintain my sway over men as I do. I have very great concern in religious matters, I assure you, and that among more denominations than some people like to hear of. Sometimes I am among the Pagans worshipped as an arch-flamin, and president of all their religious orders. Very frequently I have the honour of filling the papal chair, then I am adored under the venerable names of Pius, Innocent, Benedict, &c. accounted the universal pastor, head of the church, and father of the whole world. Occasionally, I sit as judge in the holy inquisitive tribunal, where Concupiscentia and I are adored as divinities. Now I am an holy mussulman, and stiled, his reverence mufti Muly Alab. Then, before you are aware, I am shut up in a cloister with the nuns and friars, whom I make more proud of their pretended chastity than a thousand saints are of their real graces; on such occasions, I am known by the name of the venerable matron Humility. It happens also, that I am obliged to metamorphose myself into a capuchin, or a Palmerian friar, and in that shew of self-denial I beg my bread from door to door; by these means I teach the fantastical devotees to be more proud of their awkward form, and voluntary humility, than a wise earl would be of all his landgraviate. Anon, I change my station, and find myself an abbot of a convent, where my depending priests and brethren worship me under the name of the holy father. Then, very soon after you'll find me attending the worthy confessor in his visitation, when to be sure I persuade his selfconceited reverence that he is well nigh as pure as the most holy mother pope Joan, a fortunate lady, who a few centuries ago became head of the church, and mother of the whole world. The hermit, in his cell, on the mountains of Ararat, frequently offers his adorations to me, and for my part, in return for his obsequiousness, I am in no wise sparing of my exalting influence. I persuade the world-abdicating wretch that his solitary residence in that holy asylum far more than merits a mansion in heaven, and at his peril that he stir not one foot from thence, to go down into an ungodly world: the mountain top, or a cell in the desart, being the best place imaginable in which to merit everlasting glory. The worthy hermit admits my doctrine to be true, his favourite passion is gratified, and he obeys implicitly my directions.

AVAR. Then his eremitical reverence never questions the goodness of his heart, I perceive. He knows not that he carries a spring of iniquity within himself, even to the desart or the mountain's top.

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