familiar when they are little, but severe to them, and keep them at a distance, when they are grown up. Liberty and indulger.ce can do no good to children. Their want of judgment makes them stand in need of restraint and discipline. And on the contrary, imperiousness and severity is but an ill way of treating them when grown up, and have reason of their own to guide them. Parents should avoid this, unless you have a mind to make your children weary of you, and secretly to say within themselves, Father, I wish you were dead." It is the opinion of some, and I could almost side with them, that if a child does not learn submission before he is two years of age, it is much if he ever learns it at all; therefore, as Mr. Locke observes, he that would govern his children at all, must begin with the earliest dawn of reason. 2. Discipline should be constantly maintained without relaxation, as well as be begun by times. Notwithstanding David well knew this part of paternal duty, it is clear to a demonstration, that his family suffered by his frequently being absent in foreign wars; which, I doubt not, was one principal cause of the disorders he complains of on his death bed. There should not, at any time, be the least abatement of the parents' authority on one hand, nor of the child's obedience and submission on the other. In the duties of family religion there ought to be no interruption. Nothing whatever ought to be suffered to break in upon those sacred moments, or to turn aside the duty. As the least neglect on the part of the parent, lessens the importance of the thing itself in the estimation of the child. Children reason upon, and draw conclusions from the conduct of their parents, much sooner, and more striking than most parents are aware of. I knew a man, then in a state of widowhood, who received one of the most severe reproofs he ever met with, from an infant of three years old. Family prayer had been, by some means, neglected on a certain morning, the little child was, as it were, out of his element all the morning; fuzzled about the knee of his father, as if he had something to say that he was afraid to utter. At last, when the family were going to sit down to dinner, this little reprover, leaning on his parent's knee, fetched a sigh, and said, "Pa---you were used to go to prayer with us; but you did not to-day."---" No, my dear," said the parent, "I did not."---" But, papa, you ought; why did you not?" In short, the father had not a word to reply; and this infantminister's rebuke, was as home, and as effectual, as if it had been administered by the most respectable prelate in the land; and it may be added, I trust, had as permanent an influence. 3. A proper medium between the over fond and doting parent on one hand, and the tyrannical governor on the other, ought to be observed. As over fondness and indulgence have a very baneful influence upon the morals of young ones, so in like manner tyranny and severity have their peculiar evils cleaving to them. The lazy, the short and ready way of the tyrant to procure subjection in his children and dependants, by the whip, rod, cane, and ferula, may procure the subjection of a slave, but has not the least tendency to conquer the vicious propensities of young ones. It is possible to make even play itself disagreeable to young ones, and it soon would be so, if every mistake they made was to be punished with a rod; hence it follows, that an undesigned mistake, made by young ones, or any little unhappy accident falling out in their hands, should not even be reproved; or meet with so much as a chiding. The design and spirit of their conduct are the objects of our proper regard, and when these are right, the conduct itself, however faulty, must be passed by. Reproof and correction for what was quite involuntary, and perhaps unavoidable, must produce a timorous dejection and incapacity for business. Besides, giving too much opportunity to the child, to see that the parent, in inflicting of punishment, is not guided by reason but by passion; and that it was not so much the good of the child that was aimed at, as to give scope to revenge and boundless anger, so unbecoming the parent. For this reason a parent ought never to correct a child, but when he has the most perfect command of himself; nor should the least degree of anger ever be discovered, or indeed, be felt on the occasion; for if the child has but the notion that you only vend your own anger instead of seeking his good, your whipping labour is altogether lost; and he is hardened instead of being reformed. The Scylla of over fondness, and the Charibdis of severity and tyranny, are equally to be guarded against, as equally dangerous to the principles of young ones. The tyrant may gain fear from his dependants, but unhappily their hatred of him arises in an equal proportion to their fear. This is what a wise man would wish by all means possible to avoid; and indeed for a parent to render himself the object of his children's hatred, is something extremely shocking. On the other hand, that parent or master who lays aside his authority, and ceaseth to rule in his own proper department, becomes the object of just contempt. It is as much the duty of the parent to command, as it is the duty of the child to obey; and so closely is the mutual happiness of each linked, with their acting properly in their different departments, that it is not to be expected, but in an exertion of themselves in parental authority on one hand, and in filial submission on the other. Happy is that parent who is feared because he is beloved, obeyed cheerfully, because of the equity and reasonableness of his commands. Happy is he who has attained Bathheba's address in tutoring her son Solomon, Prov. xxxi. 2---5. 'What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? Give not thy strength unto women, nor 'thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. It is not for kings, 'O Lemuel! It is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes 'strong drink.' Here to give force to her injunction, she gives a full scope to maternal tenderness, and addresseth her son as if part of herself. And indeed it appears not that the rod and reproof are likely to give wisdom, unless manifestly influenced by the bowels of parental affection. 3. Joshua's resolution it seems implied, that he was not only the prince of his family, in a way of authoritative command, but their pattern, by way of example; for he puts himself at the head of his house in the worship and service of his God. As 'for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.' Preceptive authority is utterly useless, and in some cases even hurtful, if not enforced by consistent example. If otherwise, how readily will our dependants, retort upon us, Physician, heal thyself. Thou 'that teachest others, teachest thou not thyself? Thou that 'preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal? Thou that 'sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit 'adultery? Thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege? Thou that makest thy boast of the law, by breaking the law dishonourest thou God? And how preposterous, how absurd, must our admonition appear, when this is the case! It is something like unto a drunken man rebuking profane swearing. Parents, and masters of families in general, have need to resolve with that servant of God, Psal. ci. 2. 'I will behave myself ' wisely in a perfect way: O when wilt thou come unto me (to ' enable me so to do.) I will walk within my house with a per'fect heart. I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes; I 'hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to A froward heart shall depart from me (lest it should cor'rupt my household.) I will not know a wicked person (for 'fear he should be a snare to me.)' Command, instruction, and even the rod itself will all be in vain, without a suitable example. Abraham commanded his house, but he led it also by holy example. Abraham will command his house after him, to walk in his ways, or to follow his example. How inconsistent would it be for you to command your children to worship God, if you yourself did not lead them in the way. To tell your little ones that they must pray to God, whilst you leave them in the dark, about whether you yourself do actually pray; or what is the same thing, never pray with them. For if you never pray with your children, they can have no certain proof of your praying for them. Meanness of your abilities is but a sorry excuse for this neglect, for children are very incompetent judges of them; and moreover, gifts are like the talents of a tradesman, which grow by being used. Now those who will still neglect the worship of God in their houses, and will live without family religion, may indeed number themselves amongst the Redeemer's people, flatter themselves in a baseless hope, and consider themselves as separated from the world; but the scriptures rank them along with the heathen, and denounce vengeance against them. Awful it is to feed upon the transient hope of the hypocrite. Awful to cry to our own souls, Peace, peace, when in reality the heart is at war with the God of the families of Israel. On the other hand, you who, notwithstanding your many and great discouragements, dare not depart from Joshua's resolution; you who, although frequently humbled under a sense of its imperfections, dare not disuse the worship of God in your families; mean and contemptible as you consider yourselves, the scripture sets you in a very respectable point of view. The holy Bible ranks you with Daniel, with Moses and Joshua; with Jacob and Noah, with Enoch, and with Abraham the friend of God; yea, with all who, from the beginning, have walked with him in righteousness and true holiness. Ye tread in the footsteps of those, who through faith and patience now inherit the promised blessing. Permit me now, in drawing towards a conclusion, to address myself to children and servants. Consider, my young friends, that ye, notwithstanding your green and tender years, are the subjects of reasonable and never-dying souls. Souls that must for ever exist in a state unspeakably happy and glorious, or inconceivably wretched and miserable. Ye are accountable beings, and must be judged according to the deeds done in the body, be they good or evil. Yes, my young reader, you must stand at the judgment-seat of Christ, undergo the strict scrutiny of infinite holiness, and receive your doom from him, who cannot connive at iniquity. How dreadful will your case be then, if not found at the right hand of the judge! If ranked amongst the reprobate race! When rising from the bed of death, How indeed! shall you face an offended God? How will ye be able to endure the presence of a slighted and contemned Redeemer? How will ye bear that dreadful irrevocable sentence, Depart from me, ye cursed,' &c.? How will ye dwell with everlasting flames? How can you endure unquenchable burnings? Yet these things must be experienced by all who are strangers to the grace of Jesus: by all who die in a state of unbelief and impenitence. It is good, therefore, that you * Baseless, without foundation. remember your Creator in the days of your youth; and that by times you enquire after the good old way, the only way of salvation.. You may very probably be impatient under the strictness of family government, and be offended with parental reproof; you may conclude that your parents give themselves more trouble about you than is necessary. But let me intreat you a little to consider the obligations they are under, and you will see that they dare not do otherwise than restrain you from evil, and set before you life and immortality, with all its charming attractions, on one hand, and death, with all its gloomy horrors, on the other. Your parents are particularly entrusted by Providence with all your education: and God hath made it their duty to train you up in his nurture and admonition. When you were born into the world, God said unto your parents, Take these children ' and nurse them up for me; and at your hands will I require 'them; therefore, if they warn you not against evil; if they reprove you not for, and do what they can to restrain you from sin; yea, if they correct you not for your stubbornness and wilful rebellion, they partake of your sin, and become accessary to your destruction. The spring of that awful ruin which God brought upon the house of Eli, was, 'his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.' Happy for him and his family had it been, if he had maintained the authority of a father over his children, and exerted himself as the governor in his family. It is very reasonable to suppose, that your parents and masters may know more of the vanities and snares of this world than you do, and that therefore your conduct should be in a great measure directed by their discretion. Indeed nothing discovers the maturity of filial wisdom more, than a readiness in the child to submit to the knowledge and authority of the parent. Moreover, God has been pleased to select from all mankind, your parents, as your proper tutors and governors; and consequently, so far as their advice or commands are agreeable with the scripture, to reject them is the same as to reject God himself. Let the children of religious parents consider the goodness of God to them, in placing them under the direction and government of parents who really seek their everlasting welfare; whose daily care is to bring them to the throne of grace, and solicit covenant blessings for them. To see an Ishmael brought up in the house of Abraham, despising godliness; an Esau educated by Isaac, contemning covenant blessings, hath something more shocking in its appearance, than any thing in the rebellion of others. Let every young reader consider, that if a religious godly education is not blessed to your conversion and reformation, it cannot fail |
