If the lawn'd Levite's earthly vote be sold, Whence? From the virtue of his sons within. Or court, or church, or senate-house, or hall, These honest truths, my lord, deny who can ; Who blushes not to see a Cheir Turn slave to sound, and languish for a play'r3? What piping, fidling, squeaking, quav'ring, brawling! What sing-song riot,and what eunuch-squawling! A statesman fit, where Nero fill'd the throne. Who but must smile, to see the tim'rous peer Not so with Stanhopes; see by him sustain'd The Royal Society. 3 That extraordinary instance of the folly, extravagance, and depravity of the English, Farinello. A Roman emperor remarkable for his passion for music. 5 The right honourable the earl of Chesterfield. Abroad, the guardian of his country's cause; Ask ye, what's honour? I'll the truth impart. Too proud to grace the sycophant or slave, Ask the proud peer, what's honour? he dis plays A purchas'd patent, or the herald's blaze; Hence see the garter'd glory dart its rays, [sad Long Milo reign'd the minion of renown; Loud his eulogiums echo'd through the town: Where'er he went,still crowds around him throng. And hail'd the patriot as he pass'd along. See the lost peer, unhonour'd now by all, Steal through the street, or skulk along the Mall; Applauding sounds no more salute his ear, But the loud Pan's sunk into a sneer. Whence, you'll inquire, could spring a change so Why, the poor man ran military mad; By this mistaken maxim still misled, That men of honour must be cloth'd in red. My grandsire wore it, Milo cries-'tis good; But know, the grandsire stain'd it red with blood. First 'midst the deathful dangers of the field, He shone his country's guardian, and its shield; Taught Danube's stream with Gallic gore to flow; Hence bloom'd the laurel on the grandsire's brow; But shall the son expect the wreath to wear, For the mock triumphs of an Hyde park war? Sooner shall Bunhill, Blenheim's glories claim, Or Billers rival brave Eugene in faine; Sooner a like reward their labours crown, Who storm a dunghill, and who sack a town. Mark our bright youths, how gallant and how gay, [pay, Fresh plum'd and powder'd in review array. The seat of the right honourable the lord. viscount Cobham. There are who say, "You lash the sins of men! I name not Walpole; you the reason guess; A mitre may repay his heav'nly crown, Let laureat Cibber birth-day sonnets sing, Perish my verse! whene'er one venal line Or Horace rivals Stanhope at the Hague. | Or W-n-n in senate scorn a lie; From M- -h's arms, or Abn's debate. Yet know, when virtue calls, I burst to praise. Fope writes unhurt-but know, 'tis diff'rent Ages were ransack'd for the wise and great, quite To beard the lion, and to crush the mite. "to Why praise is satire, in these sinful days. The good and bad alike with praise are blest; 7 A famous solicitor. See these two characters compared in the Gazetteers; but, lest none of those papers should have escaped their common fate, see the two characters distinguished in the Craftsman. 9 Dr. Alured Clarke, who wrote, or rather stole, a character of the late queen from Dr. Burnet's character of queen Mary. This pamphlet, however, has been ascribed to lord Hervey. Till Barnard came, and made the groupe com plete. Be Barnard there-enliven'd by the voice, And the poor peasant whistle 'midst his toil. Such days, what Briton wishes not to see? And such each Briton, Frederic 12, hopes from thee. 1o A noted agent in a mob-regiment, who is employed to reward their venal vociferations, on certain occasions, with half-a-crown each man. dens at Stow, in which the lord Cobhain has "The Temple of British Worthies in the gar lately erected the busto of sir John Baruard. La The father of George the Third. TO THE MOST PUISSANT AND INVINCIBLE HAD this dedication been addressed to some reverend prelate, or female court-favourite, to some blundering statesman, or apostate patriot, I should doubtless have lanched into the highest encomiums on public spirit, policy, virtue, piety, &c. and, like the rest of my brother dedicators, had most successfully imposed on their vanity, by ascribing to them qualities they were utterly unacquainted with; by which means I had prudently reaped the reward of a panegyrist from my patron, and, at the same time, secured the reputation of a satirist with the public. But scoring these base arts, I present the following poem to you, unswayed by either flattery or interest; since your modesty would defend you against the poison of the one, and your known economy prevent an author's expectations of the other. I shall therefore only tell you, what you really are, and leave those (whose patrons are of the higher class) to tell them what they really are not. But such is the depravity of human nature, that every compliment we bestow on another is too apt to be deemed a satire on ourselves; yet surely, while I am praising the strength of your arm, no politician can think it meant as a reflection on the weakness of his head; or, while I am justifying your title to the character of a man, will any modern petit-maître think it an impeachment of his affinity to that of its mimic counterfeit, a monkey? SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS OF THE POEM. IT is an old saying, that necessity is the mother of invention: it should seem then that poetry, which is a species of invention, must naturally derive its being from the same origin: hence it will be easy to account for the many flimsy ghost-like apparitions, that every day make their appearance among us; for if it be true, as naturalists observe, that the health and vigour of the mother is necessary to produce the like qualities in the child, what issue can be expected from the womb of so meagre a parent? But there is another species of poetry, which, instead of owing its birth to the belly, like Minerva springs at once from the head: of this kind are those productions of wit, sense, and spirit, which once born, like the goddess herself, immediately become immortal. It is true, these are a sort of miraculous births, and therefore it is no wonder they should be found so rare among us.-As glory is the noble inspirer of the latter, so hunger is the natural incentive of the former: thus fame and food are the spurs with which every poet mounts his Pegasus; but, as the impetus of the belly is apt to be more cogent than that of the head, so you will ever see the one pricking and goading a tired jade to a hobbling trot, while the other only incites the foaming steed to a majestic capriol. The gentle reader, it is apprehended, will not long be at a loss to determine, which species the following production ought to be ranked under: but as the parent most unnaturally cast it out as the spurious issue of his brain, and even cruelly denies it the common privilege of his name; struck with the delectable beauty of its features, I could not avoid adopting the little poetic orphan, and by dressing it up with a few notes, &c. present it to the public as perfect as possible. Had I, in imitation of other great authors, only consulted my interest in the publication of this inimitable piece, (which doubtless will undergo numerous impressious) I might first have sent it into the world naked, then, by the addition of a commentary, notes varioruin, prolegomena, and all that, levied a new tax upon the public; and after all, by a sort of modern poet Were I to attempt a description of your qualifications, I might justly have recourse to the majesty of Agamemnon, the courage of Achilles, the strength of Ajax, and the wisdom of Ulysses; but, as your own heroic actions afford us the best mirror of your merits, I shall leave the reader to view in that the amazing lustre of a character, a few traits of which only, the following poemical legerdemain, changing the name of the prin was intended to display; and in which, had the ability of the poet equalled the magnanimity of his hero, I doubt not but the Gymnasiad had, like the immortal Iliad, been handed down to the admiration of all posterity. As your superior merits contributed towards raising you to the dignities you now enjoy, and placed you even as the safe-guard of royalty itself, so I cannot help thinking it happy for the prince, that he is now able to boast one real champion in his service: and what Frenchman would not tremble more at the puissant arm of a Broughton, than at the ceremonious gauntlet of a Dimmack? cipal hero, and inserting a few hypercritics of a flattering friend's, have rendered the former editions incorrect, and cozened the curious reader out of a treble consideration for the same work; but however this may suit the tricking arts of a bookseller, it is certainly much below the sublime genius of an author.-I know it will be said, that a man has an equal right to make as much as he can of his wit, as well as of his money: but then it ought to be considered, whether there may not be such a thing as usury in both; and the law having only provided against it in one instance, is, I apprehend, no very moral plea for the practice of it in the other 1. 1 As this may be thought to be particularly aimed at an author who was lately reported to be dead, and whose loss all lovers of the muses The judicious reader will easily perceive, that the following poem in all its properties partakes of the epic; such as fighting, speeching, bullying, ranting, &c. (to say nothing of the moral) and, as many thousand verses are thought necessary to the construction of this kind of poem, it may be objected, that this is too short to be ranked under that class: to which I will only answer, that as conciseness is the last fault a writer is apt to commit, so it is generally the first a reader is willing to forgive; and though it may not be altogether so long, yet I dare say, it will not be found less replete with the true vis poetica, than (not to mention the Iliad, Æneid, &c.) even Leonidas itself. It may farther be objected, that the characters of our principal heroes are too humble for the grandeur of the epic fable; but the candid reader will be pleased to observe, that they are not here celebrated in their mechanic, but in their heroic capacities, as boxers, who, by the ancients themselves, have ever been esteemed worthy to be immortalized in the noblest works of this nature; of which the Epëus and Euryalus of Homer, and the Entellus and Dares of Virgil, are incontestable authorities. And as those authors were ever careful, that their principal personages (however mean in themselves) should derive their pedigree from some deity, or illustrious hero, so our author has with equal propriety made his spring from Phaeton and Neptune; under which characters he beautifully allegorises their different occupations of watermen and coachmen.-But for my own part, I cannot conceive, that the dignity of the hero's profession is any ways essential to that of the action; for, if the greatest persons are guilty of the meanest actions, why may not the greatest actions be ascribed to the meanest persons? As the main action of this poem is entirely supported by the principal heroes themselves, it has been maliciously insinuated to be designed, as an unmannerly reflection on a late glorious victory, where, it is pretended, the whole action was achieved without the interposition of the principal heroes at all.-But as the most innocent meanings may by ill minds be wrested to the most wicked purposes, if any such construction should be made, I will venture to affirm, that it must proceed from the factious venom of the reader, and not from any disloyal malignity in our author, who is too well acquainted with the power, ever to arraign the purity, of government: would have the greatest reason to lament; it may not be improper to assure the reader, that it was written, and intended to have been published, before that report, and was only meant as an attack upon the general abuse of this kind. -As to our author himself. he has frequently given public testimonies of his veneration for that great man's genius; nor may it be unentertaining to the reader, to acquaint him with one private instance :-Immediately on hearing the report of Mr. Pope's death, he was heard to break forth in the following exclamation: Pope dead!-Hush, hush, Report, the sland'rous lie; Fame says he lives-immortals never die. besides, the poignance of the sword is too pre valent for that of the pen; and who, when there are at present so many thousand unanswerable standing arguments ready to defend, would ever be Quixote enough to attack, either the omnipctence of a prince, or the omniscience of his ministers? Were I to attempt an analysis of this poem, I could demonstrate that it contains (as much as a piece of so sublime a nature will admit of) all those true standards of wit, humour, raillery, satire, and ridicule, which a late writer has so marvellously discovered; and might, on the part of our author, say with that profound critic,Jacta est Alea: but as the obscurity of a beauty too strongly argues the want of one, so an endeavour to elucidate the merits of the following performance, might be apt to give the reader a disadvantageous impression against it, as it might tacitly imply they were too mysterious to come within the compass of his comprehension. I shall therefore leave them to his more curious observation, and bid him heartily farewellLege & delectare. SCRIBLERUS TERTIUS. THE GYMNASIAD. BOOK I. ARGUMENT. THE invocation, the proposition, the night before the battle described; the morning opens, and discovers the multitude hasting to the place of action; their various professions, dignities, &c. illustrated; the spectators being seated, the youthful combatants are first introduced; their manner of fighting displayed; to these succeed the champions of a higher degree; their superior abilities marked, some of the most eminent particularly celebrated; mean while, the principal heroes are represented sitting, and ruminating on the approaching combat, when the herald summons them to the lists. SING, sing, O Muse, the dire contested fray, call the sons after the names of their fathers; as Dar'd Neptune's offspring for poets to son of Peleus, are frequently termed Pelides and Agamemnon the son of Atreus, and Achilles the Atrides. Our author would doubtless have followed this laudable example, but he found Broughtonides and Stephensonides, or their contractions, too unmusical for metre, and therefore with wonderful art adopts two poetical parents; which obviates the difficulty, and at the same time heightens the dignity of his heroes. BENTLEIDES. V. 6. Ambition, equal foe to son and sire] It has been maintained by some philosophers, that the passions of the mind are in some measure hereditary, as well as the features of the One, hapless fell by Jove's æthereal arms, Now all lay hush'd within the folds of night, Then waking, watch the slow approach of day; For the latter part of this note we are obliged to an eminent divine. V. 21. legal swarms impel,] An ingenious critic of my acquaintance objected to this simile, and would by no means admit the comparison between bees and lawyers to be just; one, he said, was an industrious, harmless, and useful species, none of which properties could be affirmed of the other; and therefore he thought the drone, that lives on the plunder of the hive, a more proper archetype. I must confess myself in some measure inclined to subscribe my friend's opinion; but then we must consider, that our author did not intend to describe their qualities, but their number; and in this respect no one, I think, can have any objection to the propriety of the comparison. V. 24. and of laws no more;] The original MS. has it bribes; but, as this might seem to cast an invidious aspersion on a certain assembly, remarkable for their abhorrence of venality; and, at the same time, might subject our pub lisher to some little inconveniences; I thought it prudent to soften the expression; besides, I think this reading renders our author's thought more natural; for, though we see the most trifling avocations are able to draw off their attention from the public utility, yet nothing is sufficient to divert a steady pursuit of their private emolument. V. 28. this day franks the road.] Our poet here artfully insinuates the dignity of the combat he is about to celebrate, by its being able to prevail on a highwayman to lay aside his business, to become a spectator of it ;-and as, on this occasion, he makes him forsake his daily bread, while the senator only neglects the business of the nation, it may be observed, how satirically he gives the preference, in point of disinterestedness, to the bighwayman, 30 Bailiffs, in crowds, neglect the dormant writ, Lords yield the court, and butchers Clerkenwell. To angry justice, nor must view the prize. Assembled myriads crowd the circling seats,40 But first, the infant progeny of Mars 50 To these, the hardy iron race succeed, way. 'Mongst these Gloverius, not the last in fame, V. 37. There many a martial son, &c.] The unwary reader may from this passage be apt to conclude, that an amphitheatre is little better than a nursery for the gallows, and that there is a sort of physical connection between boxing and thieving; but although boxing may be a useful ingredient in a thief, yet it does not necessarily make him one. Boxing is the effect, not the cause; and men are not thieves because they are boxers, but boxers because they are thieves. Thus tricking, lying, evasion, with several other such-like cardinal virtues, are a sort of properties pertaining to the practice of the law, as well as to the mercurial profession. But would any one therefore infer, that every lawyer must be a thief? SCHOLIAST, V. 44. infant progeny of Mars] Our author in this description alludes to the Lusus Troja of Virgil, Incedunt pueri --Troja juventus V. 57. And he whose clog, &c.] Here we aro presented with a laudable imitation of the ancient simplicity of manners; for, as Cincinnatus disdained not the homely employment of a ploughman, so we see our hero condescending to the humble occupation of a clog-maker; and this is the more to be admired, as it is one characteristic of modern heroism, to be either above or below any occupation at all. V. 58. whose artificial light,] Various and violent have been the controversies, whether our |