Clad in a coat of paduafoy,
A flaxen wig, and waistcoat gay,
Powder'd from shoulder down to flank,
In courtly ftyle addresses Frank;
Twice ten years older than his wife,
Is doom'd to be a beau for life;
Supplying those defects by dress,
Which I must leave the world to guefs.
TO BETTY THE GRIZETTE. 1730.
UEEN of wit and beauty, Betty! Never may the Mufe forget ye : How thy face charms every fhepherd, Spotted over like a leopard !
And thy freckled neck, difplay'd,
Envy breeds in every maid,
Like a fly-blown cake of tallow,
Or on parchment ink turn'd yellow;
Or a tawny fpeckled pippin,
Shrivel'd with a winter's keeping.
And, thy beauty thus difpatch'd,
Let me praise thy wit unmatch'd.
Sets of phrafes, cut and dry,
Evermore thy tongue fupply.
And thy memory is loaded
With old fcraps from plays exploded:
Stock'd with repartees and jokes,
Suited to all chriftian folks :
Shreds of wit, and fenfeless rhymes,
Blunder'd out a thousand times.
Nor wilt thou of gifts be fparing,
Which can ne'er be worfe for wearing.
Picking wit among collegians,
In the play-house upper regions;
Where, in eighteen-penny gallery,
Irish nymphs learn Irish raillery:
But thy merit is thy failing,
And thy raillery is railing.
Thus with talents well endued
To be fcurrilous and rude;
When you pertly raise your fnout,
Fleer, and gibe, and laugh, and flout;
This among Hibernian affes
For fneer wit and humour paffes.
Thus indulgent Chloe, bit,
Swears you have a world of wit.
DEATH AND DAPHNE.
TO AN AGREEABLE YOUNG LADY, BUT EXTREMELY LEAN. 1730.
DEATH went upon a folemn day
At Pluto's hall his court to pay :
The phantom, having humbly kift
His grifly monarch's footy fift,
Prefented him the weekly bills
Of doctors, fevers, plagues, and pills.
Pluto, obferving fince the peace
The burial-article decrease,
And, vext to see affairs miscarry,
Declar'd in council, Death must marry;
Vow'd he no longer could support
Old batchelors about his court;
The intereft of his realm had need
That Death fhould get a numerous breed ;
Young Deathlings, who, by practice made
Proficient in their father's trade,
With colonies might stock around
His large dominions under ground.
A confult of coquettes below
Was call'd, to rig him out a beau :
From her own head Megæra takes
A periwig of twisted snakes;
Which in the nicest fashion curl'd
(Like toupets of this upper world),
With flour of fulphur powder'd well,
That graceful on his shoulders fell;
An adder of the fable kind
In line direct hung down behind;
The owl, the raven, and the bat,
Clubb'd for a feather to his hat ;
His coat, an ufurer's velvet pall,
Bequeath'd to Pluto, corpfe and all.
But, loth his person to expose
Bare, like a carcafe pickt by crows,
A lawyer o'er his hands and face
Stuck artfully a parchment-cafe.
No new-fluxt rake fhew'd fairer fkin;
Nor Phyllis after lying-in.
With fnuff was fill'd his ebon box
Of thin-bones rotted by the pox.
Nine fpirits of blafpheming fops
With aconite anoint his chops;
And give him words of dreadful founds,
G-d d-n his blood! and b-d and w-ds!
Thus furnish'd out, he fent his train
To take a houfe in Warwick-lane :
The faculty, his humble friends,
A complimenital meffage fends :
Their prefident in fcarlet gown
Harangued, and welcom'd him to town.
But Death had bufinefs to dispatch;
His mind was running on his match.
And, hearing much of Daphne's faine,
His maiefty of terrors came,
Fine as a colonel of the guards,
To vifit where the fate at cards:
She, as he came into the room,
Thought him Adonis in his bloom,
And now her heart with pleafure jumps;
She fearce remembers what is trumps;
For fuch a fhape of skin and bone
Was never feen, except her own:
Charm'd with his eyes, and chin, and fnout,
Her pocket-glafs drew flily out;
And grew enamour'd with her phiz,
As juft the counterpart of his.
She darted many a private glance,
And freely made the first advance;
Was of her beauty grown fo vain,
She doubted not to win the fwain.
Nothing the thought could fooner gain him,
Than with her wit to entertain him.
She afk'd about her friends below;
This meagre fop, that batter'd beau :
Whether fome late departed toasts
Had got gallants among the ghofts?
If Cloe were a fharper ftill
As great as ever at quadrille ?
(The ladies there must needs be rooks,
For cards, we know, are Pluto's books!)
If Florimel had found her love,
For whom the hang`d herself above
How oft' a week was kept a ball
By Proferpine at Pluto's hall
She fancied thofe Elysian shades
The fwecteft place for masquerades :
How pleafant, on the banks of Styx,
To troll it in a coach and fix!
What pride a female heart inflames!
How endless are ambition's aims!
Ceafe, haughty nymph; the Fates decree
Death must not be a spouse for thee:
For, when by chance the meagre fhade
Upon thy hand his finger laid,
Thy hand as dry and cold as lead,
His matrimonial fpirit fled;
He felt about his heart a damp,
That quite extinguifh'd Cupid's lamp:
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