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THE

SPLENDID SHILLING.

BY MR. J. PHILIPS.

This is reckoned the beft parody of Milton in our language it has been an hundred times imitated, without fuccefs. The truth is, the first thing in this way muft preclude all future attempts; for nothing is fo eafy as to burlefque any man's manner, when we are once fhewed the way.

"APPY the man, who, void of cares and ftrife,

Hin filken, or
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In filken, or in leathern, purse, retains A Splendid Shilling: he nor hears with pain New oysters cry'd, nor fighs for chearful ale; But, with his friends, when nightly mists arise, To Juniper's Magpye, or Town-Hall * repairs ; Where, mindful of the nymph whofe wanton eye Transfix'd his foul, and kindled amorous flames, Cloe, or Philips; he each circling glafs Wisheth her health, and joy, and equal love. Mean while, he finokes, and laughs at merry tale, Or Pun ambiguous, or Conundrum quaint.

But I, whom griping penury furrounds,

* Two noted alehouses in Oxford, 1700.

And

And hunger, fure attendant upon want,
With fcanty offals, and small acid tiff,
(Wretched repaft!) my meagre corps sustain
Then folitary walk, or doze at home
In garret vile, and with a warming puff
Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube as black
As winter chimney, or well-polish'd jet,
Exhale Mundungus, ill-perfuming scent:
Not blacker tube, nor of a shorter fize
Smokes Cambro-Briton (vers'd in pedigree,
Sprung from Cadwalador and Arthur, kings
Full famous in romantic tale) when he
O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff,
Upon a cargo of fam'd Ceftrian cheese,
High over-fhadowing rides, with a defign
To vend his wares, or at th' Arvonian mart,
Or Maridunum, or the antient town
Yclip'd Brechinia; or where Vaga's ftream
Encircles Ariconium, fruitful foil!

Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may vie
With Maffic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.

Thus, while my joyless minutes tedious flow,
With looks demure, and filent pace, a Dun,
Horrible monfter! hated by gods and men,
Το my aërial citadel afcends,

With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gate,
With hideous accent thrice he calls; I know
The voice ill-boding, and the folemn found.
What should I do? or whither turn? amaz'd,
Confounded, to the dark recefs I fly

Of

Of woodhole; strait my bristling hairs erect
'Thro' fudden fear; a chilly fweat bedews
My fhudd'ring limbs, and (wonderful to tell!)
My tongue forgets her faculty of speech;
So horrible he feems! his faded brow

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Entrench'd with many a frown, and conic beard,
And spreading band, admir'd by modern faints,
Difaftrous acts forebode; in his right hand
Long scrolls of paper folemnly he waves,
With characters and figures dire infcrib'd,
Grievous to mortal eyes; (ye gods, avert

Such plagues from righteous men) behind him stalks
Another monster not unlike himself,

Sullen of afpect, by the vulgar call'd

A Catchpole; whofe polluted hands the Gods
With force incredible, and magic charms,
First have endu'd, if he his ample palm
Should, haply, on ill-fated fhoulder lay
Of debtor, ftrait his body, to the touch
Obfequious, (as whilom knights were wont)
To fome inchanted caftle is convey'd,

Where gates impregnable, and coercive chains
In durance strict detain him, till, in form
Of money, Pallas fets the captive free.

Beware, ye debtors, when ye walk, beware,
Be circumfpect; oft, with infiduous ken,
This caitiff eyes your steps aloof, and oft
Lies perdue in a nook or gloomy, cave,
Prompt to inchant fome inadvertent wretch
With his unhallow'd touch. So (poets fing)

ידיי

Grimalkin

Grimalkin, to domestic vermin fworn
An everlasting foe, with watchful eye
Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap,
Protending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice
Sure ruin. So, her difembowell'd web,
Arachne, in a hall, or kitchen, fpreads,
Obvious to vagrant flies: fhe fecret ftands
Within her woven cell; the humming prey,
Regardless of their fate, rush on the toils
Inextricable, nor will aught avail

Their arts, or arms, or shapes of lovely hue;
The wafp infiduous, and the buzzing drone,
And butterfly, proud of expanded wings
Diftinct with gold, entangled in her fnares,
Useless resistance make with eager ftrides,
She tow'ring flies to her expected spoils;
Then, with envenom'd jaws, the vital blood
Drinks of reluctant foes, and to her cave
Their bulky carcafes triumphant drags.

So pafs my days. But when nocturnal shades
This world invelop, and th' inclement air
Perfuades men to repel benumbing frofts

With pleafant wines, and crackling blaze of wood;
Me, lonely fitting, nor the glimmering light
Of makeweight candle, nor the joyous talk
Of loving friend delights; distress'd, forlorn,
Amidst the horrors of the tedious night,
Darkling I figh, and feed with dismal thoughts
My anxious mind, or, fometimes, mournful verse
Indite, and fing of groves and myrtle fhades,

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