See! where the British youth, engag'd no more, At Fig's, at White's, with felons, or a whore, Pay their last duty to the Court, and come All fresh and fragrant, to the drawing-room; In hues as gay, and odours as divine,
As the fair fields they fold to look fo fine.
"That's Velvet for a King!" the flatt'rer fwears;
'Tis true; for ten days hence 'twill be King Lear's.
Our Court may justly to our stage give rules,
That helps it both to fools-coats and to fools.
And why not players ftrut in courtiers cloaths?
For these are actors too, as well as those :
Wants reach all states; they beg but better dreft,
And all is fplendid poverty at best.
Painted for fight, and effenc'd for the smell,
Like frigates fraught with spice and cochine'l,
'Tis ten a clock and past; all whom the mues,
Baloun, or tennis, diet, or the stews
Had all the morning held, now the second
Time made ready, that day, in flocks are found
In the Prefence, and I (God pardon me)
As fresh and sweet their apparels be, as be
Their fields they fold to buy them. For a King
Thofe hofe are, cry the flatterers; and bring
Them next week to the theatre to fell.
Wants reach all states: me feems they do as well At stage, as courts; all are players. Whoe'er looks (For themselves dare not go) o'er Cheapfide books,
Sail in the Ladies: how each pirate eyes
So weak a veffel, and fo rich a prize!
Top-gallant he, and she in all her trim,
He boarding her, fhe ftriking fail to him:
"Dear Countefs! you have charms all hearts to hit !"
And "Sweet Sir Fopling! you have fo much wit !”
Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought,,
For both the beauty and the wit are bought.
'Twou'd burft even Heraclitus with the spleen,
To fee thofe antics, Fopling and Courtin:
The Prefence feems, with things fo, richly odd,
The mofque of Mahound, or fome queer Pa-god..
See them furvey their limbs by Durer's rules,
Of all beau-kind the best proportion'd fools!
Shall find their wardrobes inventory.
The Ladies come. As pirates (which do know
That there came weak fhips fraught with Cutchanel)
The men board them; and praife (as they think) well,
Their beauties; they the mens wits; both are bought.
Why good wits ne'er wear fcarlet gowns, I thought
This caufe, these men, mens wits for fpeeches buy,
And women buy all red which scarlets dye.
He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net;
She fears her drugs ill lay'd, her hair loose fet.
Wouldn't Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine
From hat to fhoe, himself at door refine,
As if the Prefence were a Mofque: and lift
His fkirts and hofe, and call his clothes to fhrift.
Adjust their cloaths, and to confeffion draw
Those venial fins, an atom, or a ftraw;
But oh what terrors muft diftract the foul
Convicted of that mortal crime, a hole;
Or should one pound of powder lefs bespread
Those monkey tails that wag behind their head,
Thus finifh'd and corrected to a hair,
They march to prate their hour before the Fair.
So first to preach a white-glov'd Chaplain goes
With band of lily, and with cheek of Rofe,
Sweeter than Sharon, in immac❜late trim,
Neatness itself impertinent in him.
Let but the Ladies fmile and they are bleft:
Prodigious! how the things protest, protest :
Making them confefs not only mortal
Great stains and holes in them, but venial
Feathers and duft, wherewith they fornicate:
And then by Durer's rules furvey the state,
Of his each limb, and with ftrings the odds tries.
Of his neck to his leg, and waift to thighs.
So in immaculate clothes, and Symmetry
Perfect as Circles, with fuch nicety
As a young preacher at his first time goes
To preach, he enters, and a lady which owes
Him not fo much as good will, he arrefts,
And unto her protests, protests, protests,
So much as at Rome would ferve to have thrown
Ten Cardinals into the Inquifition ;
Peace fools, or Gonfon will for Papists seize you, If once he catch you at your Fefu! Fefu!
Nature made every Fop to plague his brother, Juft as one Beauty mortifies another.
But here's the Captain that will plague them both,
Whofe air cries Arm! whofe very look's an oath :
The Captain's honest, Sirs, and that's enough,
Tho' his foul's bullet, and his body buff.
He fpits fore-right; his haughty chest before,
Like batt’ring rams, beats open every door;
And with a face as red, and as awry,
As Herod's hang-dogs in old Tapestry,
Scarecrow to boys, the breeding woman's curfe,
Has yet a ftrange ambition to look worfe;
And whispers by Jefu fo oft, that a
Perfuevant would have ravifh'd him away
For faying our Lady's Pfalter. But 'tis fit
That they each other plague, they merit it.
But here comes Glorious that will plague them both,
Who in the other extreme only doth
Call a rough carelefsnefs, good fashion:
Whofe cloak his fpurs tear, or whom he spits on,
He cares not, he. His ill words do no harm
To him; he rushes in, as if Arm, arm,
He meant to cry; and though his face be as ill
As theirs which in old hangings whip Chrift, still
He ftrives to look worfe; he keeps all in awe;
Jefts like a licens'd fool, commands like law.
Confounds the civil, keeps the rude in awe,
Jefts like a licenc'd fool, commands like law.
Frighted, I quit the room, but leave it fo
As men from Jails to execution go;
For hung with deadly fins I fee the wall,
And lin'd with Giants deadlier than them all:
Afkapart, of ftrength to tofs
For quoits, both Temple-bar and Charing-crofs.
Scar'd at the grizly forms, I fweat, I fly,
And shake all o'er, like a difcover'd spy.
Courts are too much for wits fo weak as mine: Charge them with Heaven's Artillery, bold Divine! From fuch alone the Great rebukes endure, Whofe Satire's facred, and whofe rage fecure:
Tir'd, now I leave this place, and but pleas'd fo As men from goals to execution go,
Go through the great chamber (why is it hung
With the feven deadly fins?) being among
Thofe Afkaparts, men big enough to throw
Charing Crofs for a bar, men that do know
No token of worth, but Queens man, and fine
Living; barrels of beef, flaggons of wine.
1 fhook like a fpied Spie-Preachers which are
Seas of Wit and Arts, you can, then dare,
Drown the fins of this place, but as for me
Which am but a fcant brook, enough fhall be
To wash the ftains away: although I yet
(With Maccabees modefty) the known merit
* A Giant famous in divers Romances.
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