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I must confess, indeed, I owe you more

Than ever I can hope or think to pay.

There always was a friendship 'twixt our families;
And therefore, when my tender parents dy'd,
Whose ruin'd fortunes too expir'd with them,
Your father's pity and his bounty took me,
A poor and helpless orphan, to his care.



Pol. 'Twas Heav'n ordain'd it so, to make me happy.
Hence with this peevish virtue, 'tis a cheat,
"And those who taught it first were hypocrites."
Come, these soft tender limbs were made for yielding.
Mon. Here on my knees, by Heaven's blest pow'r I
If you persist, I ne'er henceforth will see you,
But rather wander through the world a beggar,
And live on sordid scraps at proud men's doors;
For though to fortune lost, I'll still inherit
My mother's virtues, and my father's honour.
Pol. Intolerable vanity! your sex

Was never in the right! y'are always false
Or silly; ev'n your dresses are not more
Fantastic than your appetites; you think
Of nothing twice. Opinion you have none.
To-day y'are nice, to-morrow not so free;

Now smile, then frown; now sorrowful, then glad;
Now pleas'd, now not; and all you know not why!
Virtue you affect; inconstancy's your practice;
And when your loose desires once get dominion,
No hungry churl' feeds coarser at a feast;

Ev'ry rank fool goes down

Mon. Indeed, my Lord,


I own my sex's follies; I have 'em all.
And, to avoid its fault, must fly from you.
Therefore, believe me, could you raise me high
As most fantastic woman's wish could reach,
And lay all nature's riches at my feet;

I'd rather run a savage in the woods

Amongst brute beasts, grow wrinkled and deform'd, "As wildness and most rude neglect could make me," So I might still enjoy my honour safe

From the destroying wiles of faithless men.

[Exit. Pol. Who'd be that sordid foolish thing call'd man, To cringe thus, fawn, and flatter for a pleasure, Which beasts enjoy so very much above him? The lusty bull ranges through all the field, And from the herd singling his female out, Enjoys her, and abandons her at will.

It shall be so; I'll yet possess my love;

Wait on, and watch her loose unguarded hours; 400
Then, when her roving thoughts have been abroad,
And brought in wanton wishes to her heart,
I' th' very minute when her virtue nods,
I'll rush upon her in a storm of love,

Beat down her guard of honour all before me,
Surfeit on joys, till ev'n desire grows sick;
Then, by long absence, liberty regain,
And quite forget the pleasure and the pain.

[Exeunt Pol. and Page.




To-day has been a day of glorious sport.
When you, Castalio, and your brother left me,
Forth from the thickets, rush'd another boar,
So large, he seem'd the tyrant of the woods,
With all his dreadful bristles rais'd up high,
They seem'd a grove of spears upon his back;
Foaming he came at me, where I was posted,
Best to observe which way he'd lead the chase,
Whetting his huge large tusks, and gaping wide,
As if he already had me for his prey;
Till brandishing my well-pois'd jav'lin high,
With this bold executing arm, I struck

The ugly, brindled monster to the heart.

Cast. The actions of your life were always wond'rous. Acast. No flattery, boy! an honest man can't live


It is a little sneaking art, which knaves

Use to cajole and sotten fools withal.

If thou hast flattery in thy nature, out with it,
Or send it to a court, for there 'twill thrive.

"Pol. Why there?

"Acast. 'Tis, next to money, current there;

"To be seen daily in as many forms

"As there are sorts of vanities, and men;


"The supercilious statesman has his sneer,

"To sooth a poor man off with, that can't bribe him; "The grave dull fellow of small business sooths "The humourist, and will needs admire his wit. "Who, without spleen, could see a hot-brain'd atheist, "Thanking a surly doctor for his sermon ;

"Or a grave counsellor meet a smooth young lord, "Squeeze him by the hand, and praise his good com"plexion?

"Pol. Courts are the places where best manners "flourish;

"Where the deserving ought to rise, and fools "Make shew. Why should I vex and chafe my spleen, "To see a gaudy coxcomb shine, when I

"Have seen enough to sooth him in his follies, "And ride him to advantage as I please ?

"Acast. Who merit, ought indeed to rise i'th' world; "But no wise man that's honest shou'd expect it. "What man of sense would rack his generous mind, "To practise all the base formalities


"And forms of business? force a grave starch'd face, "When he's a very libertine in's heart?

"Seem not to know this or that man in public,
"When privately perhaps they meet together,
"And lay the scene of some brave fellow's ruin ?
"Such things are done."

Cast. Your lordship's wrongs have been
So great, that you with justice may complain;
But suffer us, whose younger minds ne'er felt
Fortune's deceits, to court her as she's fair.


Were she a common mistress, kind to all,

Her worth wou'd cease, and half the world grow idle. Acast. Go to, y'are fools, and know me not; I've


Long since, to bear, revenge, or scorn my wrongs,
According to the value of the doer.

You both wou'd fain be great, and to that end
Desire to do things worthy your ambition.
Go to the camp, preferment's noblest mart,
Where honour ought to have the fairest play, you'll


Corruption, envy, discontent, and faction,

Almost in ev'ry band. How many men


Have spent their blood in their dear country's service,
Yet now pine under want, whilst selfish slaves,
That e'en wou'd cut their throats whom now they
fawn on,

Like deadly locusts, eat the honey up,

Which those industrious bees so hardly toil'd for. Cast. These precepts suit not with my active mind; Methinks I would be busy.

Pol. So would I,

Not loiter out my life at home, and know

No farther than one prospect gives me leave.

Acast. Busy your minds then, study arts and men; Learn how to value merit, though in rags,

And scorn a proud ill-manner'd knave in office.


Ser. My Lord, my father!

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