fity of having medical affiftance. But the phyficians knew no more of my disease than I underftood of their medicine; fin was the malady, and I felt its dreadful effects; this fretting leprofy was broke out in every part; so that, as the prophet fays, from the fole of the foot even to the head there is no foundness in it, but wounds, bruises, and putrifying fores; the whole head is fick, and the whole heart faint; and none but the good Samaritan, which is Chrift Jefus, can bind up these wounds: he is anointed "to preach the gospel to the poor, to heal the broken hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of fight to the blind, to fet at liberty them that are bruised," Luke iv. 18. He alone can heal a wounded fpirit, as it is written, "Come, and let us return unto the Lord, for he hath torn and he will heal us, he hath fmitten and he will bind us up; after two days will he revive us, and the third day he will raife us up, and we shall live in his fight," Hosea vi. 1, 2. But, as Chrift says, "No man can come to me except the father which hath fent me draw him;" and fo I found it; for faith in him, as my Saviour and redeemer, was not then come; I could no more believe than I could create a world; but was "kept under the law, fhut up unto the faith which fhould afterwards be revealed," Gal. iii. 23; being bound in the prifon house of unbelief, hardness of heart, and blindness of mind; and it is

the Lord alone that can fay to fuch prifoners, "Go forth; and to them that are in darkness, fhew yourselves." Faith in him sets us at liberty from this prison; and it is his own power that effects this work of faith; "This is the work of God, that believe on him whom he hath fent," John vi. 29.

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It is the Holy Spirit that muft heart, foften the affections, work confidence in the mind, and draw the foul to him, before we can come in faith and affection. I was fo gloomy and dejected, that my foul was weary of life, and my chief concern was to know how I could be faved. I was weary and heavy laden; weary of working for life, and heavy laden with fin; and whether God would fhew mercy to one fo vile as myfelf I could not tell.

Lord, if thou wilt, thou canft make me clean." But I had no power in myself to come to him. "No man can come unto me," faith the Saviour,

except it were given unto him of my Father," John vi. 65. I began to think that all was over with me, and that I could not obtain mercy; and, seeing that all was loft, I thought it was but of little ufe labouring for the body, as I had no other profpect before me but an eternity of mifery; therefore I left my bufinefs, and retired to my room, to fret and mourn over my wretched fate. In this melancholy fiate of mind I fat me down in a chair, with as heavy a load as ever any poor mortal laboured under. I pitied mytclf, en

vied every body, and heartily wished I had never been born and whilft I fat in this miserable ftate these words came upon my mind, "The whole need not the phyfician, but they that are fick." Then, thought I, if this is the cafe, furely I am one that is fick; for I am fick of felf, fick of the fervice of Satan, fick of fin, and fick of the world and all that is in it: I feel my need of the Saviour; and O that he would fhew mercy to me! This fcripture came also into my mind, "I came not to call the righteous, but finners to repentance." Then, faid I, I am a finner indeed, and have deftroyed myfelf; and, as Chrift came to feek and fave the loft, I will call upon his name once more, and confefs my faults before him. While doing this thefe words came sweetly into my mind, "Let not your heart be troubled, ye believe in God, believe alfo in me," John xiv. 1. I felt a little relief, rose off my knees, and fat down to meditate upon the words. "Believe also in me," kept rolling over my mind, and I was led cut to look to Chrift, as the mediator and faviour of the loft; I felt that hardness of heart and defperate rebellion, under which I had laboured fo long, in a measure to give way, and a hope rise foul that the Lord would, fooner or later, have mercy upon me. I fenfibly found a burden taken off me; and, inftead of giving all up for 1.3, I felt encouragement to keep on fecking him, from whom I had deeply revolted.

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Some time after this, being ordered to the fea, I purpofed, in my way to Brighton, to stop in town to hear you; but, upon my arrival, finding you was gone to Lewes, I journeyed forward, and the next day arrived there, and that very night heard you preach from these words, "And the Lord was with Judah, and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountains, but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, be cause they had chariots of iron," Judges i. 19. This discourse was much bleffed to me, and did me more good than all the medicine I had taken. It is hope being deferred that makes the heart fick; but, when the defire cometh, it is a tree of life. I was sweetly refreshed, my hope being ftrengthened and my faith increased. I had indeed been brought low, but the Lord helped me; and I received that hope and fatisfaction which I never entirely loft fight of again; "Whatsoever God doeth it fhall be for ever," Eccl. iii. 14. I heard you again the Sunday following at Lewes, and one evening in the Barn at Ringmer from these words, "He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious feed, fhall doubtlefs come again with rejoicing, bringing his fheaves with him," Pfalm cxxvi. 6. And here I got another help in the way, and a light was thrown upon my path. The Lord will give ftrength to his people; They go from ftrength to ftrength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God," Pfalm

Ixxxiv. 7. In my way home I heard you feveral times in London, from which I reaped great benefit, and returned from this journey in every sense much better. The loins of my mind were girt up, and my health was much recovered, "Thou haft turned for me my mourning into dancing," faith David, "thou haft "thou haft put off my fackcloth, and girded me with gladness," Pfalm xxx. 1. And, although I many times after this funk very low, and was much caft down, yet I had a hope at the bottom which I would not part with for all the world; though it was several years, from my first being quickened to feel my loft state, before I was brought to know my interest in the dear redeemer. Nevertheless, as faith the prophet, I was holpen with a little help, and the everlasting arms were underneath me; and the Lord kept me earnestly seeking his falvation, until he was pleased to cause me to return to my ftrong hold as a prifoner of hope, and my eyes beheld the King in his beauty. "Being confident of this very thing," fays Paul," that he, which hath begun a good work in you, will perform it until the day of Jefus Chrift," Philip. i. 6. .

I have frequently been fweetly refreshed in our meeting for prayer, and reading the fcriptures and your works; being comforted, strengthened, and encouraged; They that wait upon the Lord fhall renew their strength." And, although

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