Page images
PDF
EPUB
[ocr errors]

HIS EVIDENCE OF PIETY.

41

their sins; I know him to be the anointed one, to be the prophet, priest and king of his people. But there is another sort of knowledge of which I feel some doubtan intimate acquaintance, consisting in a constant, pleasant, delightful intercourse, more attractive than any other, than all others-intercourse drawing me to him, leading me to seek frequent interviews and enjoyment, so that he may say as to Moses: 'I know thee by name, and thou hast found grace in my sight'—so that he may own me as an acquaintance at last, and not cast me off, saying: 'I know thee not.' In this I am very defective, if not entirely destitute. And yet it seems to me that I have known something of this sweet intercourse. But oh! it is so long since, it is so long gone by, that I feel very doubtful. It seems as though the guards of the Lord's army hail me, and bid me to stand and answer some questions before I approach the King.

1. Do you know Jesus Christ, the Lord?

2. Do you believe in him, with a genuine, cordial faith?

3. Do you truly repent of all your sins?

4. Do you truly love the Lord Jesus Christ above

all?

5. Do you truly, from the heart, obey all his commands?

I paused long at the first question, as stated above, and retired without gaining much satisfaction."

42

MEANS OF GROWTH IN GRACE.

CHAPTER III.

MEANS OF GROWTH IN GRACE.

Dr. Yale was never satisfied with those religious attainments which he had been enabled already to make. His motto was: "Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect, but I follow after." There are few men who are believed to have progressed farther in the life of piety than he; yet are there few who seem to have been more deeply anxious for still further advances. The nearer a man gets to heaven the more enraptured he may be expected to be with its glories; and the more like Christ he becomes, the more anxious is he to be perfectly transformed into his image. Dr. Yale, however, while he relied altogether on the efficacy of sovereign grace, ever recognized the necessity of appropriate means. He never believed that grace in the heart, like thistles by the way-side, would spring up of itself, uncultivated and uncared for.

The means which he employed for his own progress in holiness, did not differ in kind from those which are employed by others, and which, in some other cases, have also proved efficacious to the attainment of eminent piety. They differed not in kind; yet in the use of those means was he uncommonly diligent and conscientious.

Yet those who desire to imitate him in the Christian walk, will wish to know definitely the methods which he employed for his own religious improvement.

1. He often found his own spiritual state benefited by his efforts to benefit others. In this respect did he realize the fulfillment of the promise of inspiration, "He that watereth shall be watered also himself." He did not always see that fruit of his labor which he desired in the conversion of sinners; and the vineyard which he cultivated sometimes seemed to him to put on the appearance of barrenness: yet in the midst of all his labor, and toil, and fatigue, to promote the interests

HIS LABORS FOR OTHERS.

43

of the church, he felt encouraged by this consideration, that if none others were blessed, the more he did for others, the greater was the blessing which he received

in his own soul.

At one time he alludes to the experience of the eminently pious Brainard on the subject, as being the counterpart of his own:

1834, Oct. 14. "Brainard speaks frequently of being most spiritual when most strenuous and active in every duty. So I find myself. Is there not a good reason for it? Is not the mind more active? Do not we cooperate most with the Holy Spirit? He speaks often of the effects of the tender mercies of the gospel on his Indians, even more to produce conviction than terror has. So have I found it in my preaching."

He sometimes labored long and labored hard to promote the spiritual interests of his people, without realizing the results desired. One such period was near the close of the year 1849. He then engaged in a series of long continued and laborious efforts for the salvation of souls in one particular section of his congregation. Besides visiting families and holding personal conversation with individuals, he preached nearly every evening for several successive weeks. He was unwearied in his efforts, and spared no pains or toil to secure the end in view. During a portion of this time the meetings were numerously attended and peculiarly solemn. There seemed to be every promise of a powerful revival of religion. His own soul, at times, was in an agony; yet it was not known that there was a single conversion. The cloud dispersed which had been hanging over them; the hopeful appearances subsided; the meeting closed, and all put on the aspect which they had previously worn. Yet did he regard that very effort, though it was a time of deep humiliation, as productive of great good to himself. As to the results upon the people, they can never be fully known until the revelations of the judgment. Possibly some may have received impressions which will result in their conversion and salvation; while the condem

[blocks in formation]

nation of others may be heightened and their future misery increased. About the close of this period, he entered upon his memorandum a record, which, in a most interesting manner reveals the state of his own mind:

1850, Jan. 4. "Rose at five, after a very pleasant and refreshing sleep. Made arrangements by attending to things necessary, so that I was ready at six for the prayer-meeting in the closet. But oh! what a time! The devil with his whole army of doubters was upon me, darkening, perplexing, confusing my mind; and for nearly an hour and a half I was in a terrible conflict. At length I obtained some relief and was in a measure composed. But oh, how I was obliged to cry for succor to him who knows how to succor them that are tempted! I thought of our High Priest, I thought of Isa. Ixiii. 9: 'In all their affliction, he was afflicted,' &c. I thought of the pity of the Lord, and of the text and sermon last evening. But oh! it seemed at times that my. mind was all confusion. I was reduced to the necessity of being with Christ in the agony of the garden. I felt a great trial at the prospect of giving up at the North-West without a convert. What will the enemy what will the people say? Among the multitude of my thoughts, it seemed as it did once before, that God might well cast me into a ditch, and cover me over with clods, and say: 'I have no more use for thee.' Could I complain? I never deserved any good; I have been very unprofitable. Now if he cast me away as a broken vessel, what can I say? "Thy will be done.' I was calmed down in a measure. But I thank God I did not repine, or despair. When I ceased praying I was much exhausted.

During the day, one brother suggested the propriety of discontinuing every-day preaching at the NorthWest. I had come to the same conclusion yesterday. In reflecting on the subject, it seemed right to me to leave all my labor with God. He knows what to do with it. About forty sermons have been preached there since the 28th of October 1849. I did what seemed my

SERIOUS MEDITATION.

45

duty to do, and God will use it as seems good unto him. I have derived great good from it myself, and I hope that Christians have had some considerable benefit. As to the impenitent, I know not who has received any saving good, or whether there ever will be any. God only knows. I leave all in his hands. So be it. Amen."

The results of that effort-who will venture to predict what they may yet prove to be? "My word shall not return unto me void." Yet, even though a sinner may not have been converted, nor a Christian edified, the man who took the most prominent part in it, and who performed the most of the labor, was himself most abundantly blessed. He might have said with David, "I humbled myself with fasting, and my prayer returned into mine own bosom." Nor was this a solitary instance in which a blessing to himself resulted from his labors for the benefit of others. It was the ordinary effect of such labors.

2. He derived great advantage, and took great comfort in serious meditation; and found it to be an important means of grace. His estimate of this may be seen from the following:

1820, Nov. 8. "Last evening I failed in spending a suitable time in devotion and contemplation, after my return from lecture. I see how I grieved the Holy Spirit. What a poor creature I am! I do feel as though heavenly contemplation was life to the soul. The little that I practice it convinces me that it is a most profitable and comfortable exercise."

In his private devotions he was accustomed to fix his mind upon some passage of Scripture, and meditate upon it with peculiar profit. He found it to be an important means of exciting hope, in seasons of despondency; of inspiring him with sacred confidence, in times of difficulty; and of furnishing him with spiritual weapons in his spiritual conflicts. He delighted to dwell in his thoughts on the sovereignty of divine grace, and the amazing mercy of God as exhibited in the sacrifice of his Son. He thought with the deepest interest upon the

1

« EelmineJätka »