S

AUCH was our lite in Cork: dining, drinking, dancing, riding, steeple chasing, pigeon-shooting, and tandemduving filling up any little interval

that was found to exist between a late

breaktast and the time to dress for dinner. And here I hope I shall not be accused of a tendency to boasting, while I add that among all ranks and degrees of men, and women too, there never was a regiment more highly in estimation than the th. We felt the full value of all the attentions we were receiving, and we endeavoured, as best we might, to repay them. We got up Garrison Balls and Garrison Plays, and usually performed once or twice a week during the winter. Here I shone conspicuously. In the morning I was employed painting scenery and arranging the properties; as it grew later, I regulated the lamps and looked after the footlights, mediating occasionally between angry litigants, whose jealousies abound to the full as much in private theatricals as in the regular corps drama tique. Then, I was also leader in the orchestra, and had scarcely given the last scrape in the overture before I was obliged to appear to speak the prologne. Such are the cares of greatness. To do myself justice, I did not dislike them; though, to be sure, my taste for the drama did cost me a little dear, as will be seen in the sequel.

We were then in the full career of popularity our balls pronounced the very pleasantest, our plays far superior to any regular corps that had ever honoured Cork with their talents-when an event occurred which threw a gloom over all our proceedings, and finally put a stop to every project

for amusement we had so completely given ourselves up to. This was no less than the removal of our Lieutenant-Colonel. His successor came under circumstances of no common difficulty amongst us; but when I tell you that our new LieutenantColonel was in every respect his opposite, it may be believed how little cordiality he met with.

Lieutenant-Colonel Carden- for so I shall call him, although not his real name-had not been a month at quarters when he proved himself a regular martinet; and we, who had fought our way from Albuera to Waterloo, under some of the severest generals of division, were pronounced a most disorderly and ill-disciplined regiment by a Colonel who had never seen a shot fired but at a review at Hounslow, or at a sham-battle in the Fifteen Acres. The winter was now drawing to a close-already some little touch of spring was appearing-as our last play for the season was announced, and every effort to close with some little additional éclat was made; and each per former in the expected piece was nerving himself for an effort beyond his wont. The Colonel had most unequivocally condemned these plays; but that mattered not-they came not within his jurisdiction-and we took no notice of his displeasure further than sending him tickets, which were as immediately returned as received. From being the chief offender, I had become particularly obnoxious; and he had upon more than one occasion expressed his desire for an opportunity to visit me with his vengeance; but being aware of his kind intentions towards me, I took par ticular care to let no such opportunity On the morning in question, then, I had scarcely

occur.

he stood himself, with the poor adjutant, who had been up all night, shivering beside him. Some two or three of the officers had descended; and the drum was now summoning the others as it beat round the barrack-square. I saw there was not a moment to lose, and proceeded to dress with all despatch; but, to my misery, I discovered everywhere nothing but theatrical robes and decorations

As evening drew near, my cares and occupations were redoubled. My "Iago" I had fears for 'tis true he was an admirable " Lord Grizzle" in "Tom Thumb"--but then-then I had to paint the whole .company, and bear all their abuse besides, for not making some of the most ill-looking wretches perfect Apollos; but, last of all, I was sent for at a quarter to seven to lace "Desdemona's" stays. Start not, gentle reader, my fair "Desdemona .she "who might lie by an emperor's side, and command him tasks -was no other than the senior lieutenant of the regiment, and who was as great a votary of the jolly god as honest "Cassio" himself. But I must hasten on; I cannot delay to recount our successes in detail. Let it suffice to say that, by universal consent, I was preferred to Kean; and the only fault the most critical observer could find to the representative of "Desdemona," was a rather unladylike fondness for snuff. But whatever little demerits our acting might have displayed were speedily forgotten in a champagne supper. There I took the head of the table; and, in the costume of the noble Moor, toasted, made speeches, returned thanks, and sang songs, till I might have exclaimed with Othello himself, "Chaos is come again!" and I believe I owe my ever reaching the barracks that night to the kind offices of " Desdemona," who carried me the greater part of the way on her back.

The first waking thoughts of him who has indulged over-night are not among the most blissful of existence, and certainly the pleasure is not increased by the consciousness that he is called on to the discharge of duties to which a fevered pulse and throbbing temples are but ill suited. My sleep was suddenly broken in upon . the morning after the play by a "row-dow-dow" beat beneath my window. I jumped hastily from my bed and looked out, and there, to my horror, perceived the regiment under arms. It was one of

buskins-a spangled jacket glittered on one table, and a jewelled scimitar on the other. At last I detected my "regimental small clothes," most ignominiously thrust into a corner in my ardour for my Moorish robes the preceding evening.

I dressed myself with the speed of lightning; but as I proceeded in my occupation, guess my annoyance to find that the toilet-table and glass, ay, and even the basin-stand, had been removed to the dressing-room of the theatre; and my servant, I suppose, following his master's example, was too tipsy to remember to bring them back, so that I was unable to procure the luxury of cold waterfor now not a moment more remained, the drum had ceased, and the men had all fallen in. Hastily drawing on my coat, I put on my shako, and buckling on my belt as dandy-like as might be, hurried down the stairs to the barrack-yard. By the time I got down, the men were all drawn up in line along the square, while the adjutant was proceeding to examine their accoutrements as he passed down. The Colonel and the officers were standing in a group, but not conversing. The anger of the commanding officer appeared still to continue, and there was a dead silence maintained on both sides. To reach the spot where they stood I had to pass along part of the line. In doing so, how shall I convey my amazement at the faces that met me? A general titter ran along the entire rank, which not even their fears for consequences seemed able to repress-for an effort on the part of many to stifle the laugh only ended in a still louder burst of merriment. I looked to the far side of the yard for an explanation, but there was nothing there to account for it. I now crossed over to where the officers were standing, determined in my own mind to investigate the occurrence thoroughly, when free from the presence of the Colonel, to whom any representation of ill-conduct always brought a punishment far exceeding the merits of the case.

Scarcely had I formed this resolve when I reached the group of officers; but the moment I came near, one general roar of laughter saluted me, the like of which I never before heard. I looked down at my costume, expecting to discover that, in my hurry to dress, I had put on some of the garments of "Othello." No : all was perfectly correct. I waited for a moment till, the first

burst of their merriment over, I should obtain a clue to the jest. But there seemed no prospect of this, for, as I stood patiently before them, their mirth appeared to increase. Indeed, poor G———, the senior major, one of the gravest men in Europe, langhed till the tears ran down his cheeks; and such was the effect upon me, that I was induced to laugh too. Just at this instant the Colonel, who had been examining some of the men, approached! our group, advancing with an air of evident displeasure, as the shouts of loud laughter continued. As he came up, I turned hastily round, and touching my cap, wished him good morning. Never shall I forget the look he gave me. It a glance could have annihilated any man, his would have fini-hed me. For a moment his face became purple, with rage, his eye was almost hid beneath his bent brow, and he absolutely shook with passion.

"Go, sir," said he at length, as soon as he was able to find utterance for his words- "Go, sir, to your quarters; and before you leave them, a court martial shall decide if such continued insult to your commanding officer warrants your name being in the Army List."

What on earth can all this mean!" I said in a half whisper, turning to the others. But there they stood, their handkerchiefs to their mouths, and evidently choking with suppressed laughter,

"They're all mad, every Than of them." I muttered, as I betook myself slowly back to my rooms, amid the same evidences of mirth my first appearar ce had excited-which even the Colonel's presence, feared as he was, could not entirely subdue

With the air of a martyr I trod heavily up the stairs, and entered my quarters, meditating within myself awful schemes for vengeance ou the now! open, tyranny of my Colonel; upon whom I too, in my honest rectitude of heart, vowed to have a "count martial." I threw myself upon a chair, and endeavoured to recollect what circumstance of the past evening could have possibly suggested all the mirth in which both officers and men seemed to participate equally; but nothing could I remember capable of solving the mystery; surely the cruel wrongs of the manly "Othello laughter-moving subject.

were no

A:d

did not appear on parade with that face?" then he burst into a fit of the most uncontrollabe laughter.

Like lightning a horrid doubt shot across my mind. I sprang over to the dressing-glass, which had been replaced, and oh! horror of horrors! there I stood as black as the King of Ashantee. The wretched dye which I had put on for “Othello,” I had never washed off—and there, with a huge bearskin shako, and a pair of dark bushy whiskers, shone my huge, black, and polished visage, glowering at itself in the looking-glass.

My first impulse, after amazement had a little subsided, was to laugh immoderately; in this I was joined by Stubbes, who, feeling that his mirth was participated in, gave full vent to his risibility. And, indeed, as I stood before the glass, grimàng from ear to ear, I felt very little surprise that my joining in the laughter of my brother officers, a short time before, had caused an increase of their merriment. I threw myself upon a sofa, uimi absolutely laughed till my sides ached, when, the door opening, the adjutant made his appearance. He looked for a moment at me, then at Stubbes, and then burst out himself, as loud as either of us. When he had at length recovered himself, he wipesi his face with his handkerchief, and said, with a tone of much gravity-

· But, my dear Lorrequer, this will be a serious affair. You know what kind of man Colonel Carden is; and you are aware, too, you are not one of his prime favourites. He is firmly persuaded that you intended to insult him, and nothing will corvince him to the contrary. We told him how it must have occurred, but he will listen to no explanation.”

I thought for one second before I replied. My mind, with the practised rapidity of an old campaigner, took in all the pros and cons of the case: I saw at a glance it were better to brave the angel of the Colonel, come in what shape it might, than be the laughing-stock of the mess for life, and with a face of the greatest gravity and self-possession, said

"Well, adjutant, the Colonel is right. It was no mistake! You know I sent him tickets yesterday for the theatre. Well, he returned them; this did

wager with Alderman Gullable that the Colonel should see me in "Othello." What was to be done! Don't you see, now, there was only one course. And I took it, old boy, and have won my bet !”

"And lost your commission for a dozen of champagne, I suppose," said the adjutant.

“Never mind, my dear fellow," I replied; “I shall get out of this scrape, as I have done many others."

But what do you intend doing?” "Oh, as to that," said I, "I shall, of course, wait

on the Colonel immediately, pretend to him that it was a mere blunder from the inattention of my servant-hand over Stubbes to the powers that punish" (here the poor fellow winced a little), "and make my peace as well as I can. But, adjutant, mind," said I, "and give the real version to all our fellows, and tell them to make it public as much as they please."

"Never fear," said he, as he left the room still laughing, "they shall all know the true story; but I wish with all my heart you were well out of it."

regiment, to get out of the continual jesting, and in less than a month we marched to Limerick, to relieve, as it was reported, the 9th, ordered for foreign service, but, in reality, only to relieve Lieutenant-Colonel Carden, quizzed beyond endurance.

However, if the Colonel had seemed to forgive, he did not forget, for the very second week after our arrival in Limerick, I received one morning at my breakfast-table the following brief note from the adjutant :

I now lost no time in making my toilet, and presented myself at the Colonel's quarters. It is no pleasure for me to recount these passages in my life, in which I have had to bear the "proud man's contumely." I shall therefore merely observe that, after a very long interview, the Colonel accepted my apologies, and we parted.

Before a week elapsed, the story had gone far and near; every dinner-table in Cork had laughed at it. As for me, I attained immortal honour for my tact and courage. Poor Gullable readily agreed to favour the story, and gave us a dinner as the lost wager; and the Colonel was so unmercifully quizzed on the subject, and such very broad allusions to his being humbugged were given in the Cork papers, that he was obliged to negotiate a change of quarters with another