He must praise all the "Dons," and the "Dashes," and
And write about shooting like Hawker;
When Colonels send stories of awful long shots,

He must not insinuate "WALKER!"

Of each bird in the air, and each beast of the field,

He must know all the natural habits,
And must from the poacher effectively shield,
Hares, partridges, pheasants, and rabbits.

["Spots,"

MEM.-(It's as well if he knew how to fix on some flaw
For the folks who shoot game in defiance of law.)

To skill as an Artist he must add address

In "line," mezzo," and " aqua-tinting;"-
Must know all the workings of " form,"" case," and "press,"
And be "au fait" at copper-plate printing.

Eternally cheerful, and free from all "blues,"

His wit must be ready and pliant ;

Nor suffer his spleen in some " cut-throat" Reviews
To offend some great publishing giant.

MEM. (Some five or six Booksellers “all in a Row"
Are ogres who eat you, unless you bow low.)

He must be careful to keep his incog :—
In the work he engages to edit ;-
Rowed for its faults like a runaway dog,
But never partaking the credit.

It's quite indispensable that he should know
The use of his "fives" in a shindy,

Or some ill-bred people will "come for to go,
To toss him head first from the windy!"
MEM.-(AN EDITOR'S FRIENDS never call nor invite him,–
Unless with an errand to kick him or fight him.)

And now as to Terms. We already have shown
How pleasant this Editor's place is-

He must hunt-and of course keep a horse of his own,
Shoot-fish-and attend all the races ;-

Thus his work is so light, yet so pleasant withal,

From the honest fame he must inherit,

THE PROPRIETORS DON'T WISH TO PAY HIM AT ALL,
BUT LET HIS REWARD BE—HIS MERit.

MEM.-(Another Announcement will appear by and bye,
Directing all candidates where to apply.)

A DISMAL EVENING AT THE BULL AND MOUTH.

66

BY NIMROD.

HAVING, on a dripping and dismal evening in February last, some business to transact in the City, and finding myself hungry, I walked into the Bull and Mouth Hotel, St. Martin's-le-Grand, and asked for dinner. The usual alternative was put to me;-"rump steaks, mutton chops, &c.?" when my choice fell on the first. "With oyster-sauce?" demanded the waiter. "Certainly not," said I," what man with a palate that can distinguish a cabbage from a cauliflower, would befoul his mouth with such a mixture as flesh and fish?"" But where," said I to myself, are the many devourers of fish, flesh, and fowl that I have been used to see in this large room,"-for the Bull and Mouth was wont to be a very favourite louge with me, for the purpose of seeing the coaches arrive and start, together with all that appertained to that once grand coaching establishment. There sat one elderly gentleman in a box with his son, and as they had contented themselves with a pint of porter at and after their dinner, the amount of their reckoning was very readily guessed at. At the other many large and well-polished tables not a single soul was to be seen, and the only person in the room, besides the three spoken of, was the solitary waiter; who, from want of a more profitable employment, was amusing himself by perusing the several newspapers of the day.

Surely, said I within myself, things will presently mend; the inmates of this large house are now absent on their business, and when the period for transacting it expires, I shall witness a more lively scene. About ten o'clock at night, six or seven of this description of persons did make their appearance-some taking supper, but the majority contenting themselves with a glass of "something" and a bed candle.

Now, upon looking back to former days, surely this may be truly called a dismal scene; and what added to its dismalness-to myself especially was the almost total absence of the trampling of horses, the rattling of wheels, the twang of horns, and the buzz of voices, that I was used to hear in the spacious yard of the inn. An omnibus-that overgrown human-flesh-caravan-would now and then make its appearance from the railway terminus, but not one single passenger did I observe entering the room therefrom. At length, however, there was something to remind me of former days at the Bull and Mouth. could hear a melée of human voices, male and female, in the yardone of the latter exerted beyond its usual pitch in expressing fears lest a box on the roof might not have been securely fixed by the guard.

Next the rattle of polechains was distinguishable as they were passed through the rings on the hames; and at length I observed two brilliantly-burning lamps fixed in their places, the light from which even the closely-woven window blinds could not obscure from my sight. "Assuredly," said I to myself, "at last there is a coach about to start!" It was the Old Greyhound, a night coach to Shrewsbury, with luggage piled on the roof, and filled inside and out-as it never fails to bewith a very seedy lot, but just the sort of persons who travel by a night coach at low fares-and very low they are by the Greyhound.

On returning to the coffee room after a minute inspection of this almost solitary drag-which was well horsed, as indeed all coaches on the first stage out of London almost invariably are-I put the following question to the waiter :

"How many coaches that travel on the road now leave your yard in the course of twenty-four hours?"

"Three," was the answer; "the Shrewsbury Greyhound, the Worcester day-coach, and the Melton Mowbray pair-horse mail."

"How many were used to go before the days of railways?" was my next inquiry.

"Seventy-three," was the reply.

Dreadful to contemplate, thought I within myself, is the ruin and distress such a change must create; but as I felt it useless to lament over what I had no power to remedy, I thought it best to divert my melancholy by seeing the news of the day, as well as throwing my eye over some of the hundredth-time-repeated arguments for and against the Corn Laws,

The Globe was instantly put before me, and by a strange coincidence the first part of its columns that caught my eye contained a flourishing advertisement of the sale of the Bull and Mouth Hotel, together with its appurtenances-the same being stated to have been erected at the immense cost of sixty thousand pounds!

It is very well, thought I within myself, that the proprietor of this house is a wealthy man, so that the sacrifice which here, in all probability, awaits him, will not be severely felt; but what desolation must the sudden stoppage of the seventy coaches be the cause of in the countries through which they run! and, I may add, what inconvenience to travellers! Fancy my being obliged to go to Egham, a few evenings after the day I am speaking of, in au Englefield Green omnibus, there being no coach down that road after the middle of the day, whereas there were wont to be a dozen. But what was to be done in this case? I either must have submitted to the bus, two hours and a half on the road from "the Cellar," or lust a most agreeable evening, and a day's hunting on the morrow. And what a dismal appearance did the once lively town of Hounslow cut! not a coach,