PREFACE. WHILE proposing to send into the world the history of my life, I pretend not to exhibit every error committed, nor every virtuous principle indulged; the former delicacy prevents, the latter modesty declines, I trust, however, that such omissions will prove of little consequence, when I assure the public that the higher characteristics of my life will be faithfully portrayed, without regard to my own feelings, and with respect to the duty of an historian. The facts related will be accompanied with remarks intended for the benefit of parents as well as children; to remind the former of the necessity of examining microscopically the sensations of their children after reward or punishment; and to prove to the latter how great is the gain, or loss of happiness in the indulgence, or the want of filial affection. The work is undertaken under the pressure of extreme calamities, the fruits of indiscretion: with a heart bleeding at every pore for the distresses of those most dear to me, I make a powerful effort to struggle with the difficulties and wants of every nature that surround me, to B revive the spirits of a drooping family, excite a prudently virtuous principle within their bosoms, teach them, by a fair exhibition of what I am, and what I might have been, the necessity of discretion and economy in all their pursuits; remind them that "Virtue alone is happiness below," and advise them to avoid those errors that have undermined all my most promising undertakings, and blasted my most sanguine hopes. Should the work have a tendency to rescue one family, from misery, by checking the indiscretions of an infatuated parent; or persuade one dissipated youth to throw away his follies and be wise while there is yet time-it will not have been written in vain:-and that such may prove its effect will be the earnest endeavour, as it is the warmest wish of THE AUTHOR. ADVERTISEMENT.. TO THE READER. WHEN Learning played the wanton with a drowsy world, debauched herself, and grasped the scandalous pay of ignorance, drugging with opiates the intellects of man, she wore the harlotry of dress; she flirted, flattered, and cajoled. Her eye forgot the countenance sublime that dared once face heaven's self, and with a downcast look, pretending virtue and religion, she dragged her solemn heavy step along, trampling o'er dozing mortals. Then was, in sweet oblivious tones, sung the soft lullaby to Reason; then was the gilded pill bestowed that purged the soul to inactivity. Men, drenched with the intoxicating draught of superstition, forgot the Maker they affected to revere, and prostrated themselves before a human being; debased beyond the slavery of Nero's satellites, who bowed to his colossal statue, till heaven's blast, in pity of the weakness of mankind, returned it to the dust. These were the days of darkness. I love darkness, the darkness of Nature's night, for therein the tongue of Envy, Malice, and Uncharitableness is generally at rest; but I love not the darkness of human intellect, nor that which shelters faults; I love no shrouded mind; therefore shall every veil be torn from my misdeeds; and every folly appear in its true light; that as Martinus Scriblerus so effectually instructed us how to mount, by teaching us the art of sinking in poetry, so will I endeavour to make young men rise, by developing the art of sinking in life. It is, I must confess, for I am aware of it, a task of some difficulty; I know too well Est facilis descensus Averno Sed, revocare gradum" There's the rub." Matter, we are told, gravitates in proportion to its density; mine was generally that of lead, and I consequently sunk, like an overloaded vessel, under the pressure of the first wave, in the ocean of calamity. Characters more buoyant have continued floating on the surface, felt the light airs that wafted them to peace, and tranquilly pursued their voyage. But great bodies move slowly, excepting downwards, and I wanted a superior impelling force to urge me onward. Storms, to be sure, would sometimes drive me before them, for I never had an anchor that would enable me to ride them out; perhaps because I cast on unsafe ground. Be it as it may, there will be always one port left from which no human being can be kept by an embargothere, through my Redeemer, may I hope for rest. Yet so great have been the contrarieties of my dispo sition, that occasionally I was light as the gossamer, suffering myself to be guided by the softer breaths of Nature at their will, till having provided for myself a vacuum, I descended, like a feather in the exhausted receiver of an air pump, with a celerity equal to that of the most precious metal. But, reader, if you are a reader of prefaces, advertisements, dedications, &c. &c. I presume you will expect that I should now tell you something about the book itself. Well then;-but I shall first begin to give you negatively the desired information. I sing not the history of the Styx-dipped Achilles, his anger, or invulnerability; I sing not the wanderings, the cunning, or the bravery of the artful Ulysses, nor the praises of that truly pious and dutiful son who ran away from his wife and mother to save himsslf from the flames of Troy. You will hear of no Jerusalem delivered, no Henriade, no Telemachus with a Mentor constantly at his side, no Vasco de Gama, with feet on earth and head in heaven, even on the Cape of Good Hope; but you may hear occasionally of Shakspeare and-Paradise Lost. Though mine is an humble theme, but Let not Ambition mock my useful toil, Yet, Grandeur, shall you have something served up for your palate in due time; for your votaries, like the humblest of us, are fathers and mothers, physically, if not morally so. Nature has given them the same feelings as she has bestowed on the poorest. Where then, as human beings, is the difference between them? None but this: the feelings of the rich are checked by fashion, the wishes of the poor by need. The lady of fashion will say to her maid servant "I can't attend to the child |