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He's dear, you frugal ; choose my cheaper lay, | Her only grief is, that she cannot be
At once engag‘d in pray'r and charity.
And this, to do her justice, must be said : To church as coustant as to Drury-lane.
Who would not think that Abra was a maid?" She decently in form pays Heav'n its dues Some ladies are too beauteous to be wed ; And makes a civil visit to her pew.
For where's the man that's worthy of their bed? Her lifted fan, to give a solemn air,
If no disease reduce her pride before, Conceals her face, which passes for a pray'r : Lavinia will be ravish'd at threescore. Cure'sies to curt'sies then with grace succeed ; Then she submits to venture in the dark ; Not one the fair omits, but at the creed. And nothing now is wanting -- but her spark. Or, if she joins the service, 'tis to speak ; Lucia thinks happiness consists in state; Thro'dreadful silence the pentheart might break; She weds an idiot, but she eats in plate. Uncaught to bear is, women talk away
The goods of fortune which her soul possessy
Acquainted with the world, and quite well But (no detraction to her sacred skill).
If Tullia had been blest with half her sense, The very blackest tongue of calumný,
None could too much admire her excellence. When from her sheets her lovely form she lifts, But since she can make error shine so bright, She begs you just would turn you while sheshists. She thinks it vulgar to defend the right. Those charms are greatest which decline the With understanding she is quite o'er-run ; sight;
And by too great accomplishments undone. That makes the banquet poignant and polite.
With skill she vibrates her eternal tongue, There is no woman where there is no reserve; For ever most divinely in the wrong. Andi 'tis un plenty your poor lovers starve, Naked in nothing should a woman be,
But, with the modern fair, meridian merit But veil her very wit with modesty ; Is a fierce thing they call a nymph of spirit. Let man discover, let not her display, Mark well the rollings of her faming eye, But yield her charins of mind with sweet delay: And tread on tiptoe, if you dare draw nigh. For pleasure formd, perversely some believe, " Or if you take a lion by the beard*, To make themselves important, men must grieve. "Or darc defy the fell Hyrcanian paril, Lesbia the fair, to fire her jealous lord, " Or arm'd rhinoceros, or rough Russian bear," Pretends the fop she laughs at is ador'd. First make your will, and then converse with her. In vain she's proud of secret innocence; Tisis lady glories in profuse expence,
The fact she feigns were scarce a worse offencea And thinks distraction is magnificence ;
Mira, endow'd with ev'ry charın to bless, To begyır her gallant, is sonie delight; Has no design but on her husband's peace; To be more fiutal still, is exquisite.
He lov'd her much, and greatly was he mov'd Harl erer nymph such reason to be glad ? It small inquietudes in her he lov'd. In duel fell two lovers ; one ran mad.
“How charming this!" - The pleasure lasted Her foes their honest execrations pour ;
long; Her lovers only should detest her inore. Now ev'ry day the fit comes thick and strong ; Thrice happy they who think I boldly feign, At last he found the charmer only feign'd; And starile at a mistress of my brain.
And was diverted when he should be pain’d. Flavia is constant to her old gallant, What greater vengeance have the Gods in store And generously supports him in his want. How tedious life, now she can plague no more ! But marriage is a fetter, is a snare,
She tries her thousand arts, bui none succeed; A hell no lady so polite can bear.
She's forc'd a fever to procure ir: leed :
Amasia lates a prude, and scorns restraint ; Visit, present, treat, flatter, and adore ;
His wounded eats complaints eternal fill,
Unmarried Abra puts on forinalairs; [pray'rs. Nothing can please her, nothing not inflame; Her cushton 's threadbare with her constant And arrant contradictions are the sainę.
Her lover must be sad, to please her spleen; Thus ev'ry hour Brunetta is to blame,
Because th' occasion is beneath her aim.
Or you may dic before you truly live. And this, because she's exqui:itely fair ; Go breakfast with Alicia; there
you Should I dispute her beauty, how she'd stare! Simplex munditiis, to the last degree. How would Melania be surpris'd 10 hear Unlac'd her stays, her night-gown is untied, She's quite deform’d! and yet the case is clear. And what she has of head-dress is aside.
What's female beauty but an air divine, She drawls ber words, and waddles in her pace; Thro' which the mind's all-gentle graces shine ? Unwash'dher hands and much besnuft'dherface: They, like the sun, irradiate all between ; A nail uncut, and head uncomb'd she loves; The body charms because the soul is scen. And would draw on jack-boots as soon as gleves; Hence men are often captives of a face, Glues by qneen Bess's maidens might be mist, They know not why, of no peculiar grace ; Her blessed eyes ne'er saw a female fist. Some forms, though bright, no mortal man can Lovers, beware! in wound how can she fail
With scarlet finger and long jetty nail? Some none resist, though not exceeding fair. For Hervey the first wit she cannot be
Aspasia 's highly born, and nicely bred, Nos, cruel Richard, the first toast for thee. Of taste refin'd, in life and manners read, Since full each other station of renown, Yet reaps no fruit from her superior sense, Who would not be the greatest trapes in town? But to be tea: 'd by her own excellence. Women were made to give our eyes delight; “ Folks are so awkward ! things so unpolite !" A female sloven is an odious sight. She 's elegantly pain'd from morn to night. Fair Isabella is so fond of fame, Her delicacy's shock'd where'er she goes ; That her dear self is her eternal theme! Each creature's iinperfections are her woes. Thro' hopes of contradiction of she 'll say, Heaven by its favors has the fair distress'd, “ Methinks I look so wretchedly to-day!" And pour’d such blessings that she can't be When most the world applauds you, most beblest.
[spring, "Tis often less a blessing than a snarc. [ware : Ah! why so vain, though blooming in thy Distrust mankind; with your own heart confer; Thou shining, frail, ador'd, and wretched thing! And dread even there to find a Aatterer. Old age will come, discase may come before ; The breath of others raises our renown; Fifteen is full as mortal as threescore:
Our own as surely blows the pageant down; Thy fortune and thy charms may soon decay; Take up no more than you by worth can claim, But grant these fugitives prolong their stay, Lest soon you prove a bankrupt in your fame. Their basis lotters, their foundation shakes, But own I must in this perverted age, Life that supports them in a moment breaks. Who most deserve can't always most engage. Then wrought into the soul let virtue shine; So far is worth from making glory' sure, The ground eternal, as the work divine. It often hinders what it should procure.
Julia's a manager, she's born för rule, Whom praise we most? the virtuous, brave, and And knows her wiser husband is a fool; No ; wretches whom in secret we despise.(wise? Assernblics holds, and spins the subtle thread And who so blind as not to see the cause ? That guides the lover to his fair one's bed ; No rival's rais'd by such discreet applause; For difficult ainours can smooth the way, And yet of credit it lays in a store, And tender letters dictate or convcy.
By which our spleen may wound true worth But, if depriv'd of such important cares,
the more. Her wisdóm condescends to less affairs. Ladies there are who think one crime is all; For her own breakfast she'll project a scheme, Can women thén no way but backward fall? Nor take her tea without a stratagem ;
So sweet is that one crime they don't pursue, Presides o'er trifles with a serious face, To pay its loss, they think all others few. Important by the virtue of grimace.
Who hold that crime so dear must never claim Ladies supreme amung amusements reign, Of injur'd modesty the sacred name. By nature born to soothe and entertain ; Bui Clio thus : * What! railing without end? Their prudence in a share of follv lies ; “ Mean task! how much more gen'rous to coinWhy will they be so weak as to be wise ?
mnend!" Syrenna is for ever in extremes,
Yes, to conimend as you are wont to do, And with a vengeance stie cominends or blames. My kind instructor and example too. Conscious of her discernment, which is good, “ Daphnis," says Clio,“ has a charming eye: She strains too much to make it understood. " What pity 'tis her shoulder is awry! Her judgement just, her sentence is too strong ; Aspasia's shape indeed — but then her air – Because she 's right, she 's ever in the wrong, “ The inan has parts who finds destruction there.
Brunetta 's wise in actions great and rare; Almeria's wit has something that's divine ; But scurns on trifles to bestow her care. “And wit's enough-how few in all thingsshine?
“Selima Selima serves her friends, relieves the poor- Help me, ye misers ! help me to complain, " Who was it said Selima's near threescore? And blast our cominon enemy, Germain : " At Lucia’s match I from my soul rejoice, But our invectires inast despair success; " The world congratulates so wise a choice; For next to praise, she values nothing less. " His lordship’s rent-roll is exceeding great: What picture 's yonder, loosend from its " But mortgages will sap the best estate. Or is 't Austuria, that affected dame? [frame? " In Shirley's form might cherubiins appear, The brigliest forins, thro' affectation, fade « But then she has a freckle on her car." Tostrange new things, which nature never made; Without a but, Hortensia she commends, Frown not ye fair! so nzuch your sex we prize, The first of women, and the best of friends ; We hate those aris that take you from our cyes. Owns her in person, wit, fame, virtue bright ; In Albucinda's native grace is seen But how comes this to pass-she died last night. What you, who labor at perfection, mean.
Thus nymphscoinmend, who yet at satire rail; Short is the rule, and to be learnt with ease ; Indeed that's needless, it such praise prevail ; Retain your genıle selves, and you must please. And whence such praise? our virulence is thrown Here might I sing of Memmia's mincing mien, On others' fame, thro' fondness for our own. And all the movemenis of the soft machine
Of rank and riches proud, Cleora frowns; How two red lips affected zephyrs blow, For are not coronets akin to crowns ?
To cool the bohea, and inflame the beau ; Her greedy eye, and her sublime address, While one white finger and a thumb conspire The height of avarice and pride confess. To lift the cup and make the world admire. You seek perfections worthy of her rank ; Tea! how I tremble at thy fatal streain! Go, seek for her perfections at the bank. As Lethe dreadful to the love of fame. By wealth unqucnch'd, by reason uncontrollid, What devastations on thy banks are seen! For ever burns her sacred thirst of yolu. What shades of mighty names which once have As fond of fivepence as the veriest cit,
A hetacomb of characters supplies
[been! And quite as niuch detested as a wit.
Thy painted altar's daily sacrifice; Can gold calm passion, or make reason shine? H-P-, B-, aspers'd by thee decay, Can we dig peace or wisdom from the mine? As grains of finest sugars mielt away,, Wisdom to gold prefer, for 'tis much less And recommend thee more to mortal taste : To make our fortune than our happiness ; Scandal's the sweet'ner of a female feast. That happiness which great ones often sce, But this inhuman triumph shall decline, With rage and wonder, in a low degree, And thy revolving Naiads call for wine; Themselves unblest : the poor are only poor ; Spirits no longer shall serve under thee; But what are they who droop amid their store? But reign in thy owị cup, exploded tea! Nothing is meaner than a wretch of state, Citronia's nose declares thy ruin nigh; The happy only are the truly great.
And who dares give Citronia's nose the lye *! Peasants enjoy like appetites with kings,
The ladies long at men of drink exclaim'd, And those best satisfied with cheapest things. And what impair'd both health and virtue blam'd. Could both our Indies buy but one new sense, At length, to rescue man, the gen'rvus lass Our envy would be due to large expence,
Stole from her consort the pernicious glass. Since not, those pomps whichiothe great belong As glorious as the British queen renowu'd, Are but poor arts to mark them from the throng. Whosuck'd the poison froulerhusband'swound. Sce, how they beg an alms of fiattery!
Nor to the glass alone are nymphs inclin'd, They languish! oh support them with a lye! But ev'ry bolder vice of bold mankind. A decent competence we fully taste;
O Juvenal! for thy severer rage,
But some great souls! and touch'd with warmth Our matrons lead such exemplary lives,
Is there whom you detest, and scek his life? “Let priests do something for their oue in ten; Trust no soul with the secret - but his wife. " It is their trade ; so far they're honest men. Wives wonder that their conduct I condemn, “ Letthem canton,since they havegot the knack, And ask, what kindred is a spouse to them? “ And dress their notions like themselvesinblack.
What swarins of anı'rous grandmothers I see, Friglat us with terrors of a world unknown And misscs, antient in iniquity! [ing! " From joys of this, to keep them all their own. What blasting whispers, and what loud declaim-Of earth's fair fruits, indeed, they claim a fee; Whatlying,drinking, bawding,swearing,gaming! But then they leave our untith'd virtue free. Friendship so cold, such warm incontinence, “ Virtue 's a pretty thing to make a show : Such griping av'rice, such profuse expence, “ Did ever mortal write like Rochefoucault." Such dead devotion, such a zeal for crimes, Thus pleads the Devil's fair apologist, Such licens'd ill, such masqueradling times, And pleading, safely enters on his list. Such venal faith, such misapplied applause, Lei angel forms angelic truths maintain; Such Aatter'd guilt, and such inverted laws, Nature disjoins the beauteous and profane. Such dissolution thro' the whole I find, For what's true beauty but fair virtue's face. 'Tis not a world, but chaos of mankind. [belle Virtue inade visible in outwarz grace ?
Since Sundays have no balls, the well-dress'd She, then, that's haunted with an impious mind, Shines in a pew, but smiles to hear of hell; Themoreshecharnis,themoresheshocksinankind, And casts an eye of sweet disdain on all But charms decline; the fair long vigils keep; Who listen less to Cmns than St. Paul. They sleep no more! Quadrille has murderd Atheists have been but rare since nature's birth; sleep * Till now she-atheists ne'er appear'd on earth ; “ Poor K-p! cries Livia ; I have not been there Ye men of deep researches, say whence springs "These two nights; thepoorcreaturewilldespair
. This daring character in tim'rous things, “ I hate a crowd-but to do good, you knowWho start at feathers, from an insect fly, “And people of condition should bestow." A match for nothing---but the Deity?' [own Convincid, o'ercome, to K-p's grave mation's
But, not to wrong the fair, the Mose must Now set a daughter, and now stake a son ; [run, In this pursuit they court not fame alone; Let health, fame, temper, beauty, fortune flyi But join to that a more substanțial view And beggar half their race - through charity. “ From thinking free, to be free agents too." Imniortal were we, or else wortal quite, They strive with their own hearts, and keep I less should blame this criminal delight; then down
But since the gay assenbly's gayest room In con plaisance to all the fools in town. Is but an upper story to some tomh, Oh how they tremble at the name of prude! Methinks we need not our short beings shon, And die with shame at thought of being good! And, thought to Ay, content to be undone : For what will Artimis, the rich and gay, We need not buy our ruin with our crime, What will the wits, that is, the coxcombs say ? | And give eternity 10 murder time. They heaven defy, to earth's vile dregs a slave; The love of gaming is the worst of ills; Thro' cowardice most execrably brave. With ceaseless storms the blacken'd soul it fills; With our own judgements durst we to coinply, Inveighs at heaven, neglects the ties of bimod, In virtue should we live, in glory die,
Destroys the pow's and will of doing good; Rise then, my Muse, in lionest fury rise ! Kills health, pawns honor, plunges in disgrace, They dread a Satire who defy the skies. And, what is still more dreadful, spoils your face.
Atheists are few; most nymphs a god-head See yonder set of thieves that live ou spoil, And nothing but his attributes dethrone. (own, The scandal and the ruin of our isle! Froin Atheists far, they stedfastly believe And see (strange sight!) ainid that ruffian band, God is, and is almighty-to forgive.
Å form divine high wave her snowy hand; His other excellence iley 'll not dispute ; That rattles loud a small enchanted bos, But mercy, sure, is his chief attribute
Which loud asthunder on the board she knocks. Shall pleasures of a short duration chain And as fierce storms, which earth's foundation A lady's soul in everlasting pain?
From folus's cave impetuous broke, (shook, Will the great Author us poor worms destroy, From this small cavern a mix'd tempest dies, For now, and then, a sip of transient joy? Fear, rage, conrulsion, tcars,oaths, blasphemies! No, he 's for ever in a smiling mood; For men, I mean the fair discharges none; He's like theinselves, or how could he be good? She, guiluess creature ! swears to Heaven alone. And they blaspheme who blacker schemes sup- See her eyes start, cheeks glow, and muscles Devoutlý, thus, Jehovah they depose, [pose. Like the mad maid in the Comean cell. [swell! The pure! the just! and set up in his stead Thus that divine one her solt nights employs! Deity that is perfectly well-bred.
This tunes her soul to tender nuptial joys! “ Dear Tillotson!-besure the best of men- And when the cruel morning calls to bed, “ Nor thought he more than thought great Ori- And on her pillow lays her aching head, Tho'once upon a time he misbehav'd [gen. With the dire images her dreams are crow'd
, "Poor Satan : doubtless he'll at length be sav'd. The die spins lovely, or the cards go round :
Imaginary ruin charms her still;
'Midst empire's charms, how Carolina's heart Her happy lord is cuckold by Spadille ; Glows with a love of virtue and of art! And, if she's brought to bed, 'tis ten to one, Her favor is diffus'd to that degree, He inarks the forehead of her darling son. Excess of goodness ! it has dawn'd on me,
Oh scene of horror, and of wild despair ! When in my page, to balance num'rous faults, Why is the rich Artides' splendid heir Or god-like deeds were shown, or gen'rous Constrain d to quit his entient lordly seat,
thoughts, And hide his glories in a mean retreat? She smild, industrious to be pleas'd, nor knew Why that drawn sword? and whence that dismal From whom my pen the borrow'd lustre drew. Why pale distraction thre' the family? [cry? * Thus the majestic mother of mankind, See my lord threatens and my lady weep, To her own charnis most amiably blind, And treinbling servants froin the iempest creep. On the green margin innocently stood, Why that gay son to distant regions sent? And gaz'd indulgent on the crystal Avod, What fiends that daughter's dessin'd match pre- Surrey'd the stranger in the painted wave, Why the whole house in sudden ruin laid? (vent? And smiling prais'd the beauties which she gare. Oh nothing but — last night any lady play'd. + In more ihan civil war, while patriots storm;
But wanders not ny Satire from her theme? While genius is but cold their passion warm; Is this too owing to the love of fame? While public good aloft, in pomp they wield; Tho' now your hearts on lucre are bestow'd ; And private intrest shulks behind the shield; Twas first a vain devotion to the mode. While Mist and Wilkins rise in weekly might, Nor cease we here, since 'tis a vice so strong, Make presses groan, lead senators to fiight; The torrent sweeps all womankind along. Exalt our coffee with lampoons, and treate This may be said in honor of our times, The pamper'd mob with ministers of state : That none now stand distinguish'd bytheircrimes. “1 While Até, hotfromhellmakesheroes shrink,
If sin you must, take nature for your guide, “ Cries havoc, and lets loose the dogs of ink :" Love has some soft excuse to soothe your pride; Nor rank nor sex escapes the gen'ral frown, Ye fair apestates from love's antient pow'r! But ladies are ripp'd up and cits knock'd down: Can nothing ravish but a golden show'r ? Tremendous force! where even the victor bleeds ; Can cards alone your glowing fancy seise? And he deserves our pity that succeeds : Most Cupid learn to punt, ere he can plcase ? Immortal Juvenal ! and thou of France ! When you're enamour'd of a list or cast,
your fain'd field my Satire dares advance; What can the preacher more to make us chaste : Buí cuts herself a track to you unknown ; Can fame, like a repique, the soul entrance ! Nor crops your laurel, but would raise her own: And what is virtue to the lucky chance ? A bold adventure! but a safe one too ! Why must strong youths unmarried pine away! For though surpass'd, I am surpass'd by you.' They find no woman disengag’d-from play. Why pine the married ? oh severer fate! They find from play no disengag'destate.
To the Right Honorable Sir Robert IPalpole. Flavia, at lovers false untouch'd, and hard, Carmina tum melius, cum venerit Ipse, canemus. Turns pale and trembles at a cruel card. Nor Arria's Bible can secure her age ;
On this last labor, this my closing strain, Her threescore years are shuffling with her page : Smile, Walpole, or the Niue inspire in vain. While death stands by but till the game is done, To thee 'tis due ; that verse how justly thine, To sweep that stake in justice long his own ; Where Brunswick's glory crowns the whole Like old cards ting'd with sulphur she takes fire; design! Or, like snuffs sunk in sockets, blazes higher. That glory which thy counsels make so bright, Ye gods! with new delights inspire the fair; That glory which on tbee reflects a light. Or give us sons, and save us from despair ! Illustrious commerce, and but rarely known ! Sons, brothers, fathers, husbands, tradesmen, To give and take a lustre from the throne. close
Nor think that thou art foreign to my theme; In my complaint, and brand your sins in prose: The fountain is not foreign to the stream. Yet I believe as firmly as my creed,
How all mankind will be surpris'd to see In spite of all our wisdom, you'll proceed. This Alood of British folly charg'd on thee! Our pride so great, our passion is so strong, Yet, Britain, whence this caprice of thy sons, Advice to right confirms us in the wrong.
Which thro' their various ranks with fury runs ? I hear you cry, " This fellow's very odd!" The cause is plain, a cause which we must bless; When you chastise, who would not kiss the rod? For caprice is the daughter of success, But I've a charm your anger shall control, (A bad effect, but from a pleasing cause) And turn your eyes with coldness on the vole. And gives our rulers undesign'd applause ;
The charm begins! To yonder flood of light Tells how their conduct bids our wealth increase,
Britain, turn your sight. And lulls us in the downy lap of peace.