To all mankind a conftant friend,
Provided they had cash to lend.

One thing he did before he went hence,
He left us a laconic fentence,

By cutting of his phrase, and trimming,
To prove that Bishops were old women.
Poor Envy durft not shew her phiz,
She was fo terrified at his.

He waded, without any shame,
Through thick and thin to get a name,
Tried every sharping trick for bread,
And after all he feldom fped.

When Fortune favour'd, he was nice;
He never once would cog the dice:
But, if the turn'd against his play,
He knew to ftop à quatre trois.
Now found in mind, and found in corpus,
(Says he) though fwell'd like any porpoife,
He heys from hence at forty-four

(But by his leave he finks a fcore)
To The Eaft Indies, there to cheat,
Till he can purchase an estate;

Where, after he has fill'd his cheft,
He'll mount his tub, and preach his best,
And plainly prove, by dint of text,
This world is his, and theirs the next.
Left that the reader fhould not know
The bank where laft he fet his toe,
'Twas Greenwich. There he took a ship,
And gave his creditors the flip.

But

But left chronology should vary,

Upon the Ides of February ;

In feventeen hundred eight and twenty,
To Fort St. George a pedlar went he.
Ye Fates, when all he gets is spent,
RETURN HIM BEGGAR AS HE WENT!

"In courts the wretched lawyer toils and fweats;
“While smiling Nature, in her best attire,
"Regales each sense, and vernal joys inspire.

❝ Can he, who knows that real good should please,
"Barter for gold his liberty and ease?”—

Thus Paulus preach'd :-When, entering at the door,
Upon his board the client pours the ore:

He grafps the fhining gift, pores o'er the cause,
Forgets the fun, and dozeth on the laws.

LINDSAY mistakes the matter quite,

And honeft Paulus judges right.

Then, why these quarrels to the fun,

Without whofe aid you 're all undone ?

*Mr. Lindsay, a polite and elegant fcholar, at that time an eminent pleader in Dublin, afterwards one of the juftices of the court of common-pleas. N.

H 4

Did

Did Paulus e'er complain of fweat?
Did Paulus e'er the fun forget;
The influence of whofe golden beams
Soon licks up all unfavory steams?
The fun, you fay, his face hath kifs'd:
It has; but then it greas'd his fift.
True lawyers, for the wifeft ends,
Have always been Apollo's friends.
Not for his fuperficial powers

;

Of ripening fruits, and gilding flowers;
Not for infpiring poets brains
With pennyless and starveling strains
Not for his boasted healing art;
Not for his skill to shoot the dart;
Nor yet because he sweetly fiddles;
Nor for his prophecies in riddles :
But for a more fubftantial caufe-

Apollo's patron of the laws;
Whom Paulus ever must adore,
As parent of the golden ore,
By Phoebus, an incestuous birth,
Begot upon his grand-dame Earth;
By Phoebus firft produc'd to light;
By Vulcan form'd fo round and bright:
Then offer'd at the shrine of justice,
By clients to her priests and trustees.
Nor, when we fee Aftræa ftand
With even balance in her hand,
Muft we fuppofe fhe hath in view,
How to give every man his due;

Her

Her fcales you fee her only hold,
To weigh her priests' the lawyers gold.
Now, fhould I own your cafe was grievous,
Poor fweaty Paulus, who'd believe us?
'Tis very true, and none denies,

At least, that fuch complaints are wife :
'Tis wife, no doubt, as clients fat you more,
To cry, like statesmen, Quanta patimur !
But, fince the truth must needs be stretched,
To prove that lawyers are fo wretched;
This paradox I'll undertake,

For Paulus' and for Lindfay's fake;

By topicks, which, though I abomine 'em,
May ferve as arguments ad hominem :
Yet I difdain to offer thofe

Made ufe of by detracting foes.

I own, the curfes of mankind

Sit light upon a lawyer's mind :
The clamours of ten thousand tongues
Break not his reft, nor hurt his lungs.
I own, his confcience always free
(Provided he has got his fee);
Secure of constant peace within,

He knows no guilt, who knows no fin.
Yet well they merit to be pitied,

By clients always over-witted.
And though the gofpel feems to fay
What heavy burthens lawyers lay
Upon the shoulders of their neighbour,
Nor lend a finger to the labour,

Always

:

Always for faving their own bacon :
No doubt, the text is here mistaken
The copy's falfe, and fenfe is rack'd:
To prove it, I appeal to fact;
And thus by demonstration fhew
What burthens lawyers undergo.
With early clients at his door,
Though he was drunk the night before,
And crop-fick with unclubb'd-for wine,
The wretch must be at court by nine. ;
Half funk beneath his briefs and bag,
As ridden by a midnight hag:

Then, from the bar, harangues the bench,
In English vile, and viler French,
And Latin, vileft of the three;
And all for poor ten moidores fee!
Of paper how is he profufe,

With periods long, in terms abftruse!
What pains he takes to be prolix,
A thousand lines to ftand for fix!
Of common fense without a word in!
And is not this a grievous burden?

The lawyer is a common drudge,
To fight our cause before the judge:
And, what is yet a greater curse,
Condemn'd to bear his client's purse;
While he, at ease, fecure and light,
Walks boldly home at dead of night;
When term is ended, leaves the town,
Trots to his country-manfion down;

And,