"To fhew, by one fatiric touch,
"No nation wanted it fo much.
"That kingdom he hath left his debtor,
"I wish it foon may have a better.
"And, fince you dread no farther lashes,
"Methinks you may forgive his afbes.”

540

545

AN EPISTLE TO TWO FRIENDS*.

TO DR. HELSHA M.

SIR,

Nov. 23, at night, 1731.

WHEN

HEN I left you, I found myfelf of the grape's juice fick;

I'm fo full of pity, I never abuse fick ;

And the patienteft patient that ever you knew fick ;
Both when I am purge-fick, and when I am fpew-fick.
I pitied my cat, whom I knew by her mew fick ;
She mended at firft, but now fhe 's a-new fick.
Captain Butler made fome in the church black and blue

fick;

Dean Crofs, had he preach'd, would have made us all pew-fick.

Are not you, in a crowd when you fweat and stew, fick? Lady Santry got out of the church when fhe grew fick,

*This medley (for it cannot be called a poem) is given as a specimen of thofe bagatelles for which the Dean hath perhaps been too feverely cenfured. Some which were ftill more exceptionable are fuppreffed. N.

And,

And, as faft as fhe could, to the deanry flew fuck.
Mifs Morice was (I can you affure 'tis true) fick
For, who would not be in that numerous crew fick
Such mufick would make a fanatick or Jew fick,
Yet, ladies are feldom at ombre or lue fick :

Nor is old Nanny Shales, where'er fhe does brew, fick. My footman came home from the church of a bruife fick, And look'd like a rake, who was made in the flows fick; But you learned doctors can make whom you chofe fick And poor I myself was, when I withdrew, fick;

For the fmell of them made me like garlick and ruc fok, And I got through the crowd, though not let by a clue, fick.

You hop'd to find many (for that was your cue) fick; But there was not a dozen (to give them their due) fick, And thofe, to be fure, fuck together like glew, fick. So are ladies in crowds, when they fqueeze and they fcrew, fick,

You may find they are all, by their yellow pale hue, fick; So am I, when tobacco, like Robin, I chew, fick.

TO DR. SHERIDAN.

IF I write any more, it will make my poor Mufe fick, This night I came home with a very cold dew fick, And I wish I may foon be not of an ague fick; But I hope I fhall ne'er be, like you, of a fhrew fick, Who often has made me, by looking afhew, fick.

DR. HELSHAM'S ANSWER.

THE Doctor's first rhyme would make any Jew fick: I know it has made a fine lady in blue fick,

For which he is gone in a coach to Killbrew fick, Like a hen I once had, from a fox when the flew fick : Laft Monday a lady at St. Patrick's did fpew fick, And made all the reft of the folks in the

pew

fick;

The furgeon who bled her his lancet out drew fick,
And ftopt the diftemper, as being but new fick.
The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew fick;
Had we two been there, it would have made me and
you fick :

A lady that long'd, is by eating of glew fick ;

Did you ever know one in a very good Q fick ?
I'm told that my wife is by winding a clue fick;
The doctors have made her by rhyme and by rue fick.
There's a gamester in town, for a throw that he
threw fick,

And

yet the old trade of his dice he 'll pursue fick ; I've known an old mifer for paying his due fick ; At prefent I'm grown by a pinch of my fhoe fick, And what would you have me with verfes to do fitk? Send rhymes, and I'll fend you fome others in lieu fick. Of rhymes I've a plenty,

And therefore fend twenty.

Anfwered the fame day when fent, Nov. 23.

I defire you will carry both thefe to the Doctor, together with his own; and let him know we are not perfons to be infulted.

"Can

Swift, at the botton

and the following toulle wait ..

fame papei. ^.

DR. HELSHAM'S ANSWER.

THE Doctor's first rhyme would make any Jew fick: I know it has made a fine lady in blue fick,

For which he is gone in a coach to Killbrew fick,
Like a hen I once had, from a fox when the flew fick :
Laft Monday a lady at St. Patrick's did fpew fick,
And made all the rest of the folks in the pew fick;
The furgeon who bled her his lancet out drew fick,
And ftopt the diftemper, as being but new fick.

The yacht, the last storm, had all her whole crew fick;
Had we two been there, it would have made me and

you

fick:

A lady that long'd, is by eating of glew fick ;

Did ever know one in a very good Q fick ?

you

I'm told that my wife is by winding a clue fick ;
The doctors have made her by rhyme and by rue fick.
There's a gamefter in town, for a throw that he
threw fick,

;

And yet the old trade of his dice he 'll pursue fick ;
I've known an old mifer for paying his due fick
At prefent I'm grown by a pinch of my fhoe fick,
And what would you have me with verfes to do fitk ?
Send rhymes, and I'll fend you fome others in lieu fick.
Of rhymes I've a plenty,

And therefore fend twenty.

Anfwered the fame day when fent, Nov. 23.

I defire you will

carry

both these to the Doctor, toge

ther with his own; and let him know we are not perfons

to be infulted.

"Can