with good-will and great fatisfaction in the doing. For if I have but the willing mind, he will accept me; and if I yield up myself into his gracious hands, he will never lofe me.

But, my foul, remember, that there will be an end of this probation and ftriving; it will not laft always. No, though he calls and offers, and importunes, and negotiates again and again; and will not (for my reluctance and obftinacy) throw me away presently yet the time is coming on apace, when all these overtures will for ever ceafe. And therefore when I find a prefent application, O let me not put it off upon a future expectation; but catch hold of the opportunities which now I have; left he teach me to my coft, that he will not bear my manners for ever, but leave me to perifh, for want of that grace which I refufed, and without which I cannot be faved. For if he give me up, I am loft; and how do I know which may be the laft offer? O let me not then neglect or refuse ever a one, nor fo venture my falvation; but know the time of my vifitation, and hear his voice to-day, and let him that folicits for my heart, be received into my foul, fo to fanctify me wholly, that he may also glorify me eternally.

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My God! I am afhamed and confounded, to think of all my ill, and unworthy, and "offenfive carriage towards fo glorious and gracious a Lord; that after all thy kindeft dealings "with me, and the richest bleffings heaped upon "me, I have fo much and fo long abufed thy hea"venly grace, and defpifed thy wonderful mercy, "and quenched and refifted thy bleffed Spirit. O glorify the riches of thy grace, and thy ever

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"enduring

« enduring mercy, in delivering me from the guilt, "and from the power of fuch provoking fins, and "break and conquer my perverfe obftinate will; "that I may not ftand it out against such sweet en

gaging methods of the Spirit of love; but let the "Holy Ghoft with power from on high, fo com"mand and over-rule me, that I may be tractable " and yielding to every good motion; and not "only willing but glad to be fo carried along in "the way pleafing to my God, through Jefus "Chrift. Amen."

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MEDITATION XIII.

Of grieving the Spirit of God.

O vex or grieve the holy bleffed Spirit, my foul, I must not take it in the letter; becaufe the divine nature is above all moleftation, and not capable of being difturbed by any paffion; but it imports a great diftafte, and high offence given to the Holy One; and is to be understood, as spoken (more humano) in accommodation to what is ufual among men, when they are exafperated and touched to the quick with fome foul wrong, or unkindnefs; they fignify their refentment and grievance, in giving marks of their difpleasure, turning away their face and favour from the offender, and making him to understand how sensible they are that they have been ill used, and know not how to bear it, but carry towards him that has offered the injury otherwise than formerly; to give him a smart perception, how ill he has done in making fo bold with them, and trefpaffing so much upon them.

Thus

Thus the Lord, upon our grievous provocations, withdraws his pleafed countenance, turns away his face, and cafts us from his prefence: yea, he frowns upon us, and reveals his wrath against us. He complains as one preffed under us, and wearied with our iniquities, Amos ii. 13. Ifa. xliii. 24. When we refift or quench the Spirit, and stifle his motions to pufh on after our own vile inclinations, it is most offenfive to him, and he takes it heinoufly from us. Though every offence againft the Holy Ghoft is not the fin pronounced unpardonoble, Matt. xii. 31. For then who, alas! would not be in that guilt, when fo often we offend all? yet may they tremble as bordering upon it, and ready to drop into it, who make it a common and light thing, ta withstand the strivings of the Holy Spirit, and contract a habit of defpifing all that he offers, to check them in their evil ways, and their boldness to engage in forbidden things. And therefore is that fin irremiffible, because it is indeed a falling from grace, and putting away repentance, and rejecting the faith of Chrift, and all those means and terms upon which alone mercy and pardon may be had.

And as the Spirit of God is faid to be grieved in himself, by way of allufion to human affections; fo to be grieved in his faints, by way of fympathy with their condition. When they that believe in Christ, and fuch as are led by the Spirit, are despitefully used; yea, fcoffed and trampled upon, upon this very account, that they are for walking in the Spirit, and do own him for their bleffed Guide and Leader: he refents the affronts and indignities then, as offered to himself, and they that make themfelves merry with the grace and holiness of fuch, what do they but blafpheme the Holy Ghoft, and defperately strike at him that dwells and works in them? and then what thanks to the profane wretches, that this bleffed Spirit is not really affect

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ed with sadness? when it is not for want of their doing all they can to effect it. No, the obftruction is not in their wills, but in his nature, that is above the poffibility of receiving any hurt by all their malice. They perfecute Chrift in his members; they let fly at the temples of the Holy Ghoft, and then he that beholds the mischief and fpite, will take the matter into his hand, and take all the spleen and venom (difgorged by thofe tongues fet on fire by hell) as levelled at himself, and avenge the quarrel of his holiness, upon the creatures fo filthy that cannot endure or forgive any that are holy. O how may they dread to think what work they are doing, and what wages they must reckon upon receiving.

But, my foul, let me call myself to a strict account for all my ill carriage towards this good Spirit; that when he has ftrove with me, I have ftrove against him; that when he has offered me the greateft kindness, I have unkindly and ungodlily put him off, that fo many holy motions I have flighted, and fo many gracious overtures I have refifted. o what judgment do I deferve without mercy, for fo withstanding my own mercy! what have I done? to affront the greatest power, and to abuse the deareft friend! here if terror will not awe and break me, yet let ingenuity diffolve and melt me into a penitent concern, and godly forrow, that I have fo diftafted and affronted my only Comforter. O how do his endearments and my engagements aggravate the wrong, and make my fin exceeding finful! O may I not carry it on, till I have finned unpardonably. But for this let me weep, and "my eye run "down with water, because the Comforter that "fhould relieve my foul is far from me," Lam. i. 16. Yea, that I have put him away, and would not that he should abide with me, nor rule over me. O let me never be quiet, nor at peace with myfelf,

Let me do all

till I have recovered his loft favour. that I am able to invite, and welcome, and please the bleffed Gueft; and give him such a habitation with me, whereof he may not be weary; that he may relish my actions, and approve of my ways. And while the common concern of moft is, what will men fay? what will my neighbours think, of this or that, which I do? how will pofterity account of me after my deceafe? my great concern fhall be, how does the Lord look upon me? how do I ftand in his books? for if he be angry with me, what the better to have all the world's good word, till he fpeak peace to me? but if he is pleased to accept me, and his word be on my fide, how little then need I care what men fay, or the world thinks? no fuch grief as to grieve his Spirit, and no relief can I find in the world, as long as all is to-pieces between him and my foul. But when he caufes his face to fhine upon me, O how can I then despise all that any has to object against me? to him muft I ftand or fall: and when he chears me up, what can caft me down? when I can but be fo happy to keep in with him; I will fay to myself, (as Ecclef. ix. 8.) "Eat thy bread with joy, and "drink thy wine with a merry heart, for now God "accepts thy works." And when the Spirit's oil of gladness is poured into my foul, O that it may make me more fprightly in his fervice, and more ready to every good work! that his heavenly confolations, like the fun and rain, may make me grow and abound in grace, and all the fruits of a godly converfation! that inftead of finning against bright convictions and gracious invitations, I may yield myself fo tractable to be wrought upon by the Spirit of grace, that the pure Sanctifier may be alfo my sweet Comforter, to give me the best of all fa`tisfaction, and to revive me with the greatest joy of his falvation.

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