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a coming this way; if you will take a turn without
V E L L U M.
V E L L U M.
Enter VELLUM and BUTLER,
V ELLUM, OHN, I have certain orders to give you and therefore be attentive.
BU T L E R. Attentive ! ay, let me alone for that. I suppose be ineans being sober.
(Afide. V E L L U M. You know I have always recommended to you a method in your business ; I would have your knives and forks, your spoons and napkins, your plate and glasses. laid in a method,
BU T L E R. Ah, Mr. Vellum, you are such a sweet-spoken man, it does one's heart good to receive your
orders. VE L L U M. Method, John, makes business easy, it banishes all perplexity and confusion out of families.
V E L L U M. And now, Jobs, let me know whether your tablelinen, your side-board, your cellar, and every thing else within your province, are properly and methodically dispos’d for an entertainment this evening.
BUTLER Mafter Vellum, they fhall be ready at a quarter of an hour's warning. But pray, Sir, is this entertainment to be made for the Conjurer?
VELLUM, It is, John, for the Conjurer, and yet it is not for the Conjurer.
BUTLER Why, look you, Mafter Vellum, if it is for the Conjurer, the cook-maid should have orders to get him fome dishes to his palate. Perhaps he may like a little brimstone in his fauce.
V E L L U M. This Conjurer, John, is a complicated creature, an amphibious animal, a person of a two-fold nature but he eats and drinks like other men.
BU TL ER. Marry, Master Vellum, he should eat and drink as much as two other men, by the account you give of him,
V E L L U M. Thy conceit is not amiss, he is indeed a double man; ha, ha, ha!
BU T L E R. Ha! I understand you, he's one of your hermaphrodites, as they call 'em.
VELLUM, He is married, and he is not married he hath a beard, and he hath no beard. He, is old and he is young.
BUT L E R. How charmingly he talks! I fancy, Master Vellum, you could make a riddle. The same man old and young? how do you make that out, Master Vellum ?
V E L L U M. Thou hast heard of a snake casting his skin, and recovering his youth. Such is this fage perfon.
V E L L U M. When he has thrown aside the old Conjurer's Nough that hangs about him, he'll come out as fine a young gentleman as ever was seen in this house.
BU TL E R.
BU T L E R.
V E L L U M. I did not intend thou should't-but to our business -let there be a table fpread in the great hall. Let your pots and glasses be walh'd, and in readiness. Bid the cook provide a plentiful fupper, and see that all the servants be in their best liveries.
BU T L E R. Ay! now I understand every word you say. would rather hear you talk a little in that t'other way.
V E L L U M. I shall explain to thee what I have said by and by bid Susan lay two pillows upon your Lady's bed.
BU T L E R. Two pillows! Madam won't fleep upon 'em both! she is not a double woman too.
V E L L U M. She will sleep upon neither. But hark, Mrs. Abigal, I think I hear her chiding the cook-maid.
BU T L E R. Then I'll away, or it will be my turn next; she, ! am fure, speaks plain English, one may easily understand every word the says.
V E L L U M. Servants are good for nothing, unless they have an opinion of the person's underttanding who has the direction of them but see Mrs. Abigal! she has a bewitching countenance, I wish I may not be tempted to marry her in good earneft.
Enter A BIG AL, ,
A BIG A L. Ha ! Mr. Vellumi..
V E L L U M. What brings my sweet one hither?
A BIG A L. I am coming to speak to my friend behind the wainfcot. It is fit, child, he should have an account of this Conjurer, that he may not be surpris’d.
V E L L U M. That would be as much as thy thousand pound is worth.
A BI GA L. I'll' speak low
-walls have ears.
[Pointing at the wainscot,
V E L L U M. But hark you, Ducklin! be sure you do not tell him that I am let into the secret.
A BI GA L. That's a good one indeed! as if I should ever tell what passes between you and me.
V E L L U M. No, no, my child, that must not be ; he, he, he ! that must not be ; he, he, he !
A B T