TINSEL. Ah, my dear, they would fay you lov'd your fecond; and they would own I'deferv'd it, for I fhall love thee moft inordinately. LADY. But what would people think? TINSE L. 1 Think! why they would think thee the mirrour of widowhood-That a woman fhould live fourteen whole months after the decease of her spouse, without having engaged herself. Why,, about town, we know many a woman of quality's fecond husband several years before the death of the firft, LADY. Ay, I know you wits have your common-place jefts upon us poor widows. TINSEL. I'll tell you a story, widow; I know a certain Lady, who, confidering the crazinefs of her husband, had, in cafe of mortality, engaged herfelf to two young fellows of my acquaintance. They grew fuch defperate rivals for her while her husband was alive, that one of them pink'd the other in a duel. But the good Lady was no fooner a widow, but what did my dowager do? Why faith, being a woman of honour, fhe married a third, to whom, it seems, she had given her first promise. LADY. And this is a true story upon your own knowledge? 1 Every tittle, as I hope to be marry'd, or never believe Tom Tinfel. LADY... Pray, Mr. Tinfel, do you call this talking like a wit, or like a rake? TINSE L. Innocent enough, he, he, he! Why! where's the dif ference, my dear? LADY. LADY. Yes, Mr. Tinfel, the only man I ever loved in my life, had a great deal of the one, and nothing of the other in him. TINSEL. Nay, now you grow vapourish; thou'lt begin to fancy thou hear'ft the drum by and by. LADY. If you had been here last night about this time, you would not have been fo merry, TINSE L. About this time, fay'ft thou? Come faith, for the humour's fake, we'll fit down and listen. LADY. I will, if you'll promise to be serious. TINSEL. Serious! never fear me, child. not hear him ? LADY. Ha, ha, ha! doft You break your word already. Pray, Mr. Tinfel, do you laugh to show your wit or your teeth! TINSEL. Why, both my dear. I'm glad however, that fhe has taken notice of my teeth. [Afide.] But you look ferious, child; I fancy thou hearft the drum, doft not? Don't talk fo rafhly. LADY. TINSE L.. Why, my dear, you could not look more frighted if you had Lucifer's drum-major in your house. LADY. Mr. Tinfel, I muft defire to fee you no more in it, if you do not leave this idle way of talking. TINSEL. Child, I thought I had told you what is my opinion of fpirits, as we were drinking a dish of tea but just now -There is no fuch thing, I give thee my word. LADY. Oh, Mr. Tinfel, your authority niuft be of great weight to thofe that know you. TINSEL. For my part, child, I have made myself eafy in those points. LADY. Sure nothing was ever like this fellow's vanity, but his ignorance. TINSEL. Afide. I'll tell thee what now, widow,I would engage by the help of a white fheet and a penyworth of link in a dark night, to frighten you a whole country village out of their fenfes, and the vicar into the bargain. [Drum beats.] Hark! hark! what noise is that! Heaven defend us! this is more than fancy. LADY. It beats more terrible than ever. TINSEL. Tis very dreadful! what a dog have I been to speak against my conscience, only to fhew my parts! LADY. It comes nearer and nearer. I wish you have not angered it by your foolish difcourfe. TINSEL. Indeed, Madam, I did not fpeak from my heart; I hope it will do me no hurt, for a little harmless rallery. LADY. Harmless, d'ye call it? it beats hard by us, as if it would break through the wall. TINSEL. What a devil had I to do with a white sheet ? [Scene opens and difcovers Fantome. TINSE L. Mercy on us! it appears. LADY. Oh! 'tis he! 'tis himself, 'tis Sir George! 'tis my [She faints. husband. town. TINSEL. Now would I give ten thousand pound that I were in [Fantome advances to him drumming. By my foul, Sir George, I was not in earneft [falls on bis knees.] Have compaflion on my youth, and confider I am but a coxcomb [Fantome points to the door.] But fee he waves me off -ay with all my heart What a devil had I to do with a white sheet? (He fteals off the stage, mending his pace as the drum beats. FANTOME. The fcoundrel is gone, and has left his mistress behind him. I'm miftaken if he makes love in this houfe any more. I have now only the conjurer to deal with. I don't queftion but I fhall make his reverence fcamper as faft as the lover. And then the day's my own. But the fervants are coming. I must get into my cupboard. (He goes in. Enter A B IGAL and Servants. ABIGA L. O my poor Lady! this wicked drum has frighted Mr. Tinfel out of his wits, and my Lady into a fwoon. Let me bend her a little forward. She revives. carry her into the fresh air, and the'll recover. (They Here, carry carry her off.) This is a little barbarous to my Lady, but 'tis all for her good: and I know her fo well, that fhe would not be angry with me, if she knew what I was to get by it. And if any of her friends fhould blame me for it hereafter, Pll clap my band upon my purfe, and tell 'em лст |