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Magis illa placent quæ pluris emuntur.

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Have lately been very much teized with the thought of Mrs. Ann Page, and the memory of thofe many cruelties which I fuffered from that obdurate fair one. Mrs. Anne was in a particular manner very fond of Chinaware, against which I had unfortunately declared my averfion. I do not know but this was the firft occafion of her coldness towards me, which makes me fick at the very fight of a China-dish ever fince. This is the best introduction I can make for my present discourse, which ferve may to fill up a gap until I am more at leifure to refume the thread of my amours.

There are no inclinations in women which more furprize me than their paffions for chalk and china. The Arft ofthefe maladies wears out in a little time; but when a woman is vifited with the fecond, it generally takes

poffeffion of her for life. China-veffels are play-things for women of all ages. An old Lady of fourfcore fhall be as bufy in cleaning an Indian Mandarine, as her great grand daughter is in drefling her baby.

The common way of purchafing fuch trifles, if I may believe my female informers, is by exchanging old fuits of cleaths for this brittle ware. The potters of china

have it feems, their factors at this diftance, who retail out their several manufactures for caft cloaths and fuperannuated garments. I have known an old petticoat metamorphofed into a punch-bowl, and a pair of breeches into a tea-pot. For this reafon my friend Tradewell in this city calls his great room, that is nobly furnished out with china, his wife's wardrobe. In yonder corner, fays he, are above twenty fuits of cloaths, and on that fcrutore above a hundred yards, of furbelowed filk. You cannot inagine how many night-gowns, ftays and manteaus, went to the raifing of that pyramid. The worst of it is, fays he, a fuit of cloaths is not fuffered to laft half its time, that it may be the more vendible; fo that in reality this is but a more dextrous way of picking the husband's pocket, who is often purchafing a great vafe of china, when he fancies that he is buying a fine head, or a filk gown for his wife. There is likewife

another inconvenience in this female paffion for china, namely, that it adminifters to them great matter for wrath and forrow. How much anger and affliction are produced daily in the hearts of my dear country-women, by the breach of this frail furniture. Some of them pay half their fervants wages in china fragments, which their carelefnefs has produced. If thou haft a piece of earthen-ware, confider, fays Epictetus, that it is a piece of earthen-ware, and by confequence very eafy and • obnoxious to be broken: Be not therefore fo void of reafon as to be angry or grieved when this comes to pafs. In order, therefore, to exempt my fair readers from fuch additional and fupernumerary calamities of life, I would advise them to forbear dealing in these perishable commodities until fuch time as they are philoTophers enough to keep their temper at the fall of a teapot or china-cup. I fhall further recommend to their ferious confideration these three particulars: First, that all china-ware is of a weak and tranfitory nature. Secondly, that the fashion of it is changeable: And thirdly, that it is of no ufe. And first of the firft: The fragility of china is fuch as a reasonable Being ought by no means

to

to fet its heart upon, though at the fame time I am afraid I may complain with Seneca on the like occafion, that this very confideration recommends them to our choice; our luxury being grown fo wanton, that this kind of treasure becomes the more valuable, the more eafily we may be deprived of it, and that it receives a price from its brittleness. There is a kind of oftentation in wealth, which fets the poffeffors of it upon diftinguishing themselves in thofe things where it is hard for the poor to follow them. For this reason I have often wondered that our Ladies have not taken pleasure in egg-fhells, efpecially in thofe which are curiously ftained and streaked, and which are so very tender, that they require the niceft hand to hold without breaking them. But as if the brittlenefs of this ware were not fufficient to make it coftly, the very fashion of it is changeable, which brings me to my fecond particular.

It may chance that a piece of china may furvive all thofe accidents to which it is by nature liable, and last for fome years, if rightly fituated and taken care of. To remedy therefore this inconvenience, it is fo ordered that the shape of it fhall grow unfashionable, which makes new fupplies always neceffary, and furnishes employment for life to women of great and generous fouls, who cannot live out of the mode. I myself remember when there were few china-veffels to be feen that held more than a difh of coffee; but their fize is fo gradually enlarged, that there are many at prefent, which are capable of holding half a hogfhead. The fashion of the teacup is alfo greatly altered, and has run through a wonderful variety of colour, fhape and fize.

But, in the laft place, china-ware is of no ufe. Who would not laugh to fee a fmith's fhop furnished with anvils and hammers of china? the furniture of a Lady's favourite room is altogether as abfurd: You fee jars of a prodigious capacity that are to hold nothing. I have feen horfes and herds of cattle in this fine fort of porcelain, not to mention the feveral Chinese Ladies who, perhaps, are naturally enough reprefented in thefe frail materials.

Did

Did our women take delight in heaping up piles of earthen platters, brown jugs, and the like ufeful products of our British potteries, there would be fome fense in it. They might be ranged in as fine figures, and difpofed of in as beautiful pieces of architecture; but there is an objection to these which cannot be overcome, namely, that they would be of fome use, and might be taken down on all occafions to be employed in fervices of the family; befides that they are intolerably cheap, and moft fhamefully durable and lafting.

No 39. Tuesday, May 25.

Nec verbum verbo curabis reddere fidus
Interpres

S'

Hor.

Ince I have given public notice of my abode, I have had many vifits from unfortunate fellow-fufferers who have been croffed in love as well as myself.

Will Wormwood, who is related to me by my mother's fide, is one of those who often repair to me for my advice. Will is a fellow of good fenfe, but puts it to little other ufe than to torment himself. He is a man of fo refined an underflanding, that he can fet a con-ftruction upon every thing to his own.difadvantage, and turn even a civility into an affront. He groans under imaginary injuries, finds himfelf abufed by his friends, and fancies the whole world in a kind of combination against him. In fhort, poor Wormwood is devoured with the spleen: You may be fure a man of this humour makes a very whimsical lover. Be that as it will, he is now over head and ears in that paffion, and by a very curious interpretation of his miftrefs's behaviour, has in - lefs than three months reduced himself to a perfect skeleton. As her fortune is inferior to his, flie gives him all

the

the encouragement another man could wish, but has the mortification to find that her lover ftill fowers upon her hands. Will is diffatisfied with her, whether he smiles. or frowns upon him; and always thinks her either too referved, or too coming. A kind word, that would make another lover's heart dance for joy, pangs poor Will, and makes him lie awake all night-As I was going on with Will Wormwood's amour, I received a prefent from my bookfeller, which I found to be The moral characters of Theophraftus,' tranflated from the Greek into English by Mr. Budgell *.

It was with me, as I believe it will be with all who look into this tranflation; when I had begun to peruse it, I could not lay it by, until I had gone through the whole book; and was agreeably surprised to meet with a chapter in it, entitled, A difcontented temper,' which gives a livelier picture of my cousin Wormwood, than that which I was drawing for him myself. It is as follows.

Printed for J. TONSON in 1714.

CHAP

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