N°2. Saturday, February 27.

I

-Mentis gratiffimus Error.

Hor.

Cannot tell how many Years, Months, Hours, Days or Minutes have paffed away fince I firft faw Mrs. Ann Page; but certain I am, that they have ran by me, without my being much concerned in what was tranfacted in the World around me all that while. Mrs. Page being a Gentlewo man on whom I have ever doated to Diftraation, has made me very particular in my Behaviour upon all the Occurrences on this Earth, and negligent of thofe things in which others terminate all their Care and Study; infomuch, that I am very fenfible it is only because I am harmless, that the bufie World does not lock me up; for if they will not own themselves mad, they inuft conclude I am, when they fee me cold to the Pursuits of Riches, Wealth and Power; and when People have been speaking of great Perfons and Illuftrious Actions, I clofe the whole with fomething about Mrs. Page, they are apt to think my Head turned, as well as I do theirs. However, I find Confolation in the Simplicity of my Diftrefs, (which has banished 'all other Cares,) and am reconciled to it. But however I may be looked upon by the filly Crowds who are toiling for more than they want, I am, without doubt, in my felf the Br not

most innocent of all Creatures; and a Squirrel in a Chain, whofe Teeth are cut out, is not more incapable of doing Mifchief. Mrs. Ann Page had fuch a Turn with her Neck, when I, thinking no harm, firft looked upon her, that I was foon after in a Fever, and had like to have left a World (which I ever fince defpifed) and been at Reft. But as Mrs. Ann's Parents comply'd with her own Paffion for a Gentleman of much greater Worth and Fortune than my felf, all that was left for me was to lament or get rid of my Paffion by all the Diverfions and Entertainments I could. But I thank Mrs. Ann, (I am still calling her by her Maiden Name) fhe has always been Civil to me, and permitted me to stand Godfather at the Baptism of one of her Sons.

THIS would appear a very humble Eavour to a Man of ungovern'd Defire; but as for me, as foon as I found Mrs. Ann was engaged, I could not think of her with Hope any longer, any other ways than that I fhould ever be ready to exprefs the Paffion I had for her, by Civilities to any thing that had the moft remote relation to her. But alas! I am going on as if every body living was acquainted with Mrs. Ann Page and my felf, when there is indeed no occafion of mentioning either; but to inform the Reader, that it is from the Experience of a Patient, I am become a Phyfician in Love. I have been in it thirty Years, juft as long as the Learned Sydenham had the Gout; and tho' I cannot pretend to make Cures, I can, like him, put you in a good Regimen when you are down in a Fit. As I was saying, this Affection of mine

mine left behind it a Scorn of every thing elfe; and having an Averfion to Business, Ï have paffed my Time very much in Obfervation upon the Force and Influence this Paf fion has had upon other Men, and the different Turns it has given each refpective Generation, from the Cultivation or Abuse of it.. You'll fay I fell into very unhappy Days for a Lover of my Complexion, who can be fa-tisfied with diftant Good will from the Per fon beloved, and am contented that her Circumstances can allow me only her Efteem, when I acquaint you that my most vigorous Years were paffed away in the Reign of the Amorous Charles the Second. The Licencesof that Court did not only make that Love,. which the Vulgar call Romantick, the Objec of Jeft and Ridicule, but even common Decency and Modefty were almost abandoned as formal and unnatural. The Writers for the Stage fell in with the Court, and the Theatre diffus'd the Malignity into the Minds of the Nobility and Gentry, by which means the Degeneracy fpread it felf through the whole People, and Shame it felf was almost loft: Naked Innocence, that most charming of Beauties, was confronted by that moft hideous of Monsters, barefaced Wickedness.

THIS made me place all my Happinessin Hours of Retirement; and as great Diftreffes often turn to Advantages, I impute it to the Wickedness of the Age, that I am a great: Master of the Bafe-Viol.

WITH this Inftrument I have paffed mamy a heavy Hour, and laid up Treasures of Knowledge, drawn from Contemplation, on

what:

what I had feen every Day in the World, during the Intervals from Mufick and Reading, which took up the principal Part of my Time. My Purpose, at prefent, is to be a KnightErrant with the Pen, fince that Order of Men who were fo with their Swords, are quite laughed out of the World. My Business is to kill Monsters, and to relieve Virgins; but as it has been the Custom, time out of Mind, for Knights, who take upon them fuch laudable and hazardous Labours, to have a Castle, a Mote round it, and all other Conveniencies within themselves, it has luckily happened, that the fpacious and magnificent Apartment, which the Ingenious Mr. Powell lately poffeffed in Covent Garden, has lately been relinquifhed by him, upon fome importunate Words and Menaces given him by a Gentleman who has the Soveraignty of it, by Vertue of fome enchanted Rolls of Parchment which convey that Manfion unto the faid chief Commander vulgarly called a Landlord. By this Means, you are to understand, that the Apartment, wherein the little Kings and Queens lately diverted fo many of our Nobility and Gentry, is now mine. This fpacious Gallery, for fuch I have made it for my mufings and wandrings of Thought, 1 have dignified with the Name of the Lover's Lodge, where, under fancied Skies, and painted Clouds, left by Mr. Powell, I fit and read the true Hiftories of famous Knights and beautiful Damfels, which the Ignorant call Romances. To make my Walk more gloomy, and adapted both for Melody and Sadnefs, there lies before me, at prefent, a Death's Head, my Bafe-Viol, and

the

the Hiftory of Grand Cyrus. I cannot tell by what Chance, I have alfo fome Ridiculous Writers in my Study, for I have an Averfion for Comicks, and thofe they call pleafant Fellows, for they are infentible of Love. Those Creatures get into a Familiarity with Ladies, without refpect on either fide, and confequently can neither fee what is amiable, or be the Objects of Love. I wonder how thefe Buffoons came into my Head. But I was going to intimate, that the Notions of Gallantry are turned topfie-turvey, and the Knight Errantry of this profligate Age is deftroying as many Women as they can. It is notorious, that a young Man of Condition does no more than is expected from him, if before he thinks of fettling himself in the World, he is the Ruin of half a dozen Females, whofe Fortunes are unequal to that which his laborious Ancestors, whether fuccessful in Virtue or Iniquity, have left him.

THUS 1 every Day fee Innocents abused, fcorned, betrayed and neglected by Brutes, who have no Senfe of any thing but what indulges their Appetites; and can no longer fuffer the more charming and accomplished Part of the Species to want a Friend and Advocate. I fhall enquire, in due time, and make every Anti-Heroe in Great-Britain give me an Account why one. Woman is not as much as ought to fall to his Share; and fhall fhew every abandoned Wanderer, that with all his bluftering, his reftlefs following every Female he fees, is much more ridiculous, than my conftant, imaginary Attendance on my Fair One, without ever feeing her at all.

But