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of old women throw down their wrinkles, and
feveral young ones who ftripped themselves of a
tawny fkin. There were very great heaps of
red nofes, large lips, and rufty teeth. The truth
of it is, I was furprised to fee the greatest part
of the Mountain made up of bodily deformities.
Obferving one advancing towards the heap with
a larger cargo than ordinary upon his back, I
found upon his near approach that it was only a
natural hump, which he difpofed of with great
joy of heart, among this collection of human
miferies. There were likewife diftempers of all
forts; though I could not but obferve, that there
were many more imaginary than real. One
little packet I could not but take notice of,
which was a complication of all the difeafes inci-
dent to human nature, and was in the hand of.
a great many fine people; this was called the
Spleen. But what most of all furprised me,
was a remark I made, that there was not a single
vice or folly thrown into the whole heap; at
which I was very much aftonished, having con-
cluded within myself, that every one would take
this opportunity of getting rid of his paffions,
prejudices, and frailties.

I took notice in particular of a very profligate fellow, who I did not queftion came loaded with his crimes but upon fearching into his bundle I found that, inftead of throwing his guilt from him, he had only laid down his memory. He was followed by another worthlefs rogue, who flung away his modesty instead of his ignorance.

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When

When the whole race of mankind had thus caft their burdens, the Phantom which had been fo bufy on this occafion, feeing me an idle SPECTATOR of what had paffed, approached towards me. I grew uneafy at her prefence, when of a fudden the held her magnifying glafs full before my eyes. I no fooner faw my face in it, but was ftartled at the fhortnefs of it, which now appeared to me in its utmost aggravation. The immoderate breadth of the features made me very much out of humour with my own countenance, upon which I threw it from me like a mask. It happened very luckily that one who stood by me had just before thrown down his vifage, which it feems was too long for him. It was indeed extended to a shameful length; I believe the very chin was, modeftly fpeaking, as long as my whole face. We had both of us an opportunity of mending ourselves; and all the contributions being now brought in, every man was at liberty to exchange his Misfortunes for thofe of another perfon. But as there arofe many new incidents in the fequel of my vifion, I fhall referve them for the fubject of my next Paper. *

* By ADDISON. There were no fignature to diftinguish the Paper in this eighth volume. It does not appear with any certainty that STEELE was at all concerned in it." Mr. Tickell who lived familiarly with ADDISON must have known undoubtedly the Papers which that gentleman contributed. He reprefented them accordingly in his 4to edition of ADDISON'S "Works." They are affigned here to Mr. Tickell's authority, and No. 558 is one of them, as was alfo the fequel of this Vifion, in the following Paper No. 559.

No. 559.

N° 559. Friday, June 25, 1714.

Quid caufæ eft, meritò quin illis Jupiter ambas
Iratas buccas inflet, neque fe fore pofthac
Tam facilem dicat, votis ut præbeat aurem ?
HOR. I Sat. i. 20.

Were it not just that Jove, provok'd to heat,
Should drive thefe triflers from the hallow'd feat,
And unrelenting ftand when they intreat?

IN

HORNECK.

N my laft Paper I gave my reader a fight of that Mountain of MISERIES which was made up of those feveral calamities that afflict the minds of men. I faw with unfpeakable pleature the whole fpecies thus delivered from its Sorrows; though at the fame time, as we ftood round the heap, and furveyed the feveral materials of which it was compofed, there was fcarcely a mortal in this vaft multitude, who did not difcover what he thought pleasures of life, and wondered how the owners of them ever came to look upon them as burdens and grievances.

As we were regarding very attentively this confufion of Miferies, this chaos of calamity, Jupiter iffued out a fecond proclamation, that every one was now at liberty to exchange his Affliction, and to return to his habitation with any fuch other bundle as should be delivered to him.

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.

Upon this Fancy began again to beftir herfelf, and parcelling out the whole heap with incredible activity, recommended to every one his particular packet. The hurry and confufion at this time was not to be expreffed. Some obfervations which I made upon this occafion I fhall communicate to the public. A venerable gray-headed man, who had laid down the colic, and who I found wanted an heir to his eftate, fnatched up an undutiful fon that had been thrown into the heap by an angry father. The graceless youth, in lefs than a quarter of an hour, pulled the old gentleman by the beard, and had like to have knocked his brains out; fo that meeting the true father, who came towards him with a fit of the gripes, he begged him to take his fon again, and give him back his colic; but they were incapable either of them to recede from the choice they had made. A poor galley-flave, who had thrown down his chains, took up the gout in their ftead, but made fuch wry faces, that one might easily might eafily perceive he was no great gainer by the bargain. It was pleafant enough to fee the feveral exchanges that were made, for sickness against poverty, hunger against want of appetite, and care against pain,

The female world were very bufy among themselves in bartering for features: one was trucking a lock of gray hairs for a carbuncle, another was making over a fhort waist for a pair of round shoulders, and a third cheapening a bad face for a loft reputation: but on all these occafions there was not one of them who did not

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think

think the new blemish, as foon as she had got it into her possession, much more disagreeable than the old one. I made the fame obfervation on every other Misfortune or Calamity which every one in the affembly brought upon himself in lieu of what he had parted with; whether it be that all the evils which befall us are in fome measure fuited and proportioned to our ftrength, or that every evil becomes more fupportable by our being accustomed to it, I fhall not determine.

I could not from my heart forbear pitying the poor hump-backed gentleman mentioned in the former Paper, who went off a very well-shaped person with a stone in his bladder; nor the fine gentleman who had struck up this bargain with him, that limped through a whole affembly of ladies, who ufed to admire him, with a pair of fhoulders peeping over his head.

I must not omit my own particular adventure. My friend with a long vifage had no fooner taken upon him my fhort face, but he made fuch a grotefque figure in it, that as I looked upon him I could not forbear laughing at myfelf, infomuch that I put my own face out of countenance. The The poor gentleman was fo fenfible of the ridicule, that I found he was afhamed of what he had done: on the other fide, I found that I myself had no great reafon to triumph, for as I went to touch my forehead I miffed the place, and clapped my finger upon my upper lip. Befides, as my nofe was exceeding prominent, I gave it two or three unlucky C 4

knocks

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