roughly of thy goodness: make me sick of love; yea, let me die for love of thee, who hast loved me unto death, that I may fully enjoy the perfection of thy love, in the height of thy glory. XLIII. Lord, how have I seen men miscarried into those sins, the premonition whereof they would have thought incredible, and their yieldance thereto impossible! How many Hazaels hath our very age yielded; that, if a Prophet should have foretold their acts, would have said, Is thy servant a dog, that he should do these great things? 2 Kings viii. 13. O my God, why do not I suspect myself? What hold have I of myself, more than these other miserable examples of human frailty? Lord God, if thou take off thy hand from me, what wickedness shall escape me? I know I cannot want a tempter; and that tempter cannot want either power, or malice, or vigilance, or skill, or baits, or opportunities; and, for myself, I find too well, that of myself I have no strength to resist any of his temptations. Oh, for thy mercy's sake, uphold thou me with thy mighty hand stand close to me, in all assaults: shew thyself strong, in my weakness: Keep back thy servant from presumptuous sins: let them not have dominion over me; then, only, shall I be upright, and shall be innocent from the great transgression, Psalm xix. 13. XLIV. ; It is thy title, O Lord, and only thine, that thou givest songs in the night; Job xxxv. 10. The night is a sad and dolorous season; as the light, contrarily, is the image of cheerfulness Eccl. xi. 7: like as it is in bodily pains and aches, that they are still worst towards night; so it is in the cares and griefs of mind: then they assault us most, when they are helped on by the advantage of an uncomfortable darkness. Many men can give themselves songs in the day of their prosperity, who can but howl in the night of their affliction: but, for a Paul and Silas to sing in their prison at midnight; Acts xvi. 25. for an Asaph to call to remembrance his song in the night; Psalm lxxvii. 6. this comes only from that Spirit of thine, whose peculiar style is the Comforter. And, surely, as music sounds best in the night; so those heavenly notes of praise, which we sing to thee, our God, in the gloomy darkness of our adversity, cannot but be most pleasing in thine ears. Thine Apostle bids us, which is our ordinary wont, when we are merry to sing; when afflicted, to pray: but if when we are afflicted we can sing, as also when we are merriest we can pray, that ditty must needs be so much more acceptable to thee, as it is a more powerful effect of the joy of thy Holy Ghost. O my God, I am conscious of my own infirmity: I know I am naturally subject to a dull and heavy dumpishness, under whatsoever affliction. Thou, that art the God of all Comfort, remedy this heartless disposition in me: pull this lead out of my bosom: make me, not patient only, but cheerful, under my trials: fill thou my heart with joy, and my mouth with songs, in the night of my tribulation. XLV. It is a true word, O Lord, that thy Seer said of thee, long ago: The Lord seeth not as man seeth; 1 Sam. xvi. 7. Man sees the face; thou seest the heart: man sees things, as they seem; thou seest them, as they are: many things are hid from the eyes of men; all things lie open and displayed before thee. What a madness, then, were it in me, to come disguised into thy presence; and to seek to hide my counsels from thine allseeing eyes! I must be content, Lord, to be deluded here by fair appearances; for I may not offer to look into the bosoms of men, which thou hast reserved for thyself: it is only the outside, that I can judge by. Yea, O God, if I shall cast my eyes inward, and look into my own breast, even there I find myself baffled, at home: The heart of man is deceitful above all things: who can know it? None, but those piercing eyes of thine, can discover all the windings and turnings of that intricate piece. What would it avail me, O Lord, to mock the eyes of all the world with a semblance of holiness, whilst thou shouldest see me false and filthy? Should I be censured by a world of men, when I am secretly allowed by thee, I could contemn it; yea, glory in their unjust reproach: but, if thine eye shall note me guilty, to what purpose is all the applause of men? O thou, that art the God of Truth, do thou open and dissect this close heart of mine: search every fibre, that is in or about it; and, if thou findest any ill blood there, let it out; and, if thou findest any hollowness, fill it up and so work upon it, that it may be approved of thee, that madest it: as for men, it shall be alike to me, whether they spend their breath or save it. XLVI. Lord God, what a world of treasure hast thou hid in the bowels of the earth, which no eye of man ever did, or shall, or can see! What goodly plants hast thou brought forth of the earth, in wild, unknown regions, which no man ever beheld! What great wits hast thou shut up in a willing obscurity, which the world never takes notice of! In all which, thou shewest, that it is not only the use and benefit of man, which thou regardest, in the great variety of thy creation, and acts of administration of the world; but thine own glory, and the fulfilling of thine own good pleasure: and, if only the angels of heaven be witnesses of thy great works, thou canst not want a due celebration of thy praise. It is just with thee, O God, that thou shouldest regard only thy blessed self, in all that thou doest, or hast done; for all is thine, and thou art all. Oh, that I could sincerely make thee the perfect scope of all my thoughts, of all my actions; that so we may both meet in one and the same happy end, thy glory in my eternal blessedness. XLVII. Indeed, Lord, as thou sayest, the night cometh when no man can work. What can we do, when the light is shut in; but shut our eyes, and sleep? When our senses are tied up, and our limbs laid to rest, what can we do; but yield ourselves to a necessary repose? O my God, I perceive my night hastening on apace my sun draws low: the shadows lengthen: vapours rise; and the air begins to darken. Let me bestir myself, for the time: let me lose none of my few hours: let me work hard, awhile; because I shall soon rest everlastingly. XLVIII. Thou seest, Lord, how apt I am to contemn this body of mine. Surely, when I look back upon the stuff whereof it is made, no better than that I tread upon; and see the loathsomeness of all kinds, that comes from it; and feel the pain, that it ofttimes puts me to; and consider whither it is going; and how noisome it is, above all other creatures, upon the dissolution: I have much ado to hold good terms with so unequal a partner. But, on the other side, when I look up to thy hand, and see how fearfully and wonderfully thou hast made it; what infinite cost thou hast bestowed upon it, in that thou hast not thought thine own blood too dear to redeem it; that thou hast so far honoured it, as to make it the temple of thy Holy Ghost, and to admit it into a blessed communion with thyself; and hast decreed to do so great things for it hereafter, even to clothe it with immortality, and to make it like unto thy glorious body; I can bless thee for so happy a mate, and with patience digest all these necessary infirmities: and now I look upon this flesh, not as it is, withered and wrinkled; but as it will be, shining and glorified. O Lord, how vile soever this clay is in itself; yet make me, in thine interest and my hopes, so enamoured of it, as if I did already find it made celestial. Oh, that my faith could prevent my change, and anticipate my ensuing glory! XLIX. Lord, what a dreadful favour was that, which thou shewedst to thy Prophet Elijah; to send a fiery chariot for him, to convey him up to heaven! I should have thought, that the sight of so terrible a carriage should have fetched away his soul beforehand, and have left the body grovelling on the earth: but that Good Spirit of thine, which had fore-signified that fiery rapture, had doubtless fore-armed thy servant with an answerable resolution to expect and undergo it. Either he knew that chariot, however fearful in the appearance, was only glorious, and not penal; or else he cheerfully resolved, that such a momentary pain in the change would be followed with an eternity of happiness. O God, we are not worthy to know whereto thou hast reserved us. Perhaps thou hast appointed us to be in the number of those, whom thou shalt find alive at thy Second Coming; and then, the case will be ours; we shall pass through fire to our immortality: or, if thou hast ordained us to a speedier dispatch, perhaps thou hast decreed that our way to thee shall be through a fiery trial. O God, whatever course thou, in thy holy wisdom, hast determined for the fetching up my soul from this vale of misery and tears, prepare me thoroughly for it: and do thou work my heart to so lively a faith in thee, that all the terrors of my death may be swallowed up, in an assured expectation of my speedy glory; and that my last groans shall be immediately seconded with eternal Hallelujahs, in the glorious Choir of thy Saints and Angels in Heaven. Amen. Amen. |