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however, I found that which was orderly and attentive. I closed more than merely dissipating. with a short prayer, asking a blesThat letter of Patty's (I could sing on the meeting, and with the have hugged her, to use her own benediction. Declared my hope hearty phrase, as I read it,) is one of meeting them once a week, and of the loveliest effusions of an left them. My heart thankful, I ardent zeal and genuine godliness, dragged my weary length along I ever met with. Oh for the spirit with less of pain than might have that expanded and fired that faith- been expected. Touched with the ful, simple soul, at that moment of goodness of God.' tender and hallowed excitement ! March.-Meeting at Bunch That wild fervid utterance of sa- Grove less crowded, but full. Very cred feeling is worth all the talent, exhausted, and voice falling, but and taste, and literary excellence supported through. Singing nicely of the volume,- I guess even of conducted. Some very attentive the four volumes! I should have Dissenters present; and all exceedloved sister Martha. A letter of ingly quiet, and decently conNewton is very affecting, and nice; ducted. Oh that it may become a and one of the heroine's, to Mr. spiritual assembly! When I think Wilberforce, giving a detailed ac- of my total want of qualification count of the inimitable undertak- for such a service, I tremble at my ings at Cheddar, &c. ..... her seeming presumption in undertaklabours in the schools, &c., exaltsing it. God is good : may I have her character, in my view, far his glory singly at heart, in all I above all her writings, which I have do, and say, and think !' always thought defective. How March.-Assisted greatly during should we bless the Dispenser of the evening service, in address and all, that he has not, amongst our prayer. How thankful should my other trials, tried us with Hannah heart be! Dissenters chiefly left More's talent! What a miracle us; meeting smaller, but attentive.' that she was brought through, and The labours and, above all, the brought out at the last!'
solicitude of Mr. Paterson's situa. February, 1829.— Began the tion, were at this time gradually Sunday evening lecture at Bunch wearing down, not his moral, but Grove. . . . . Instead of thirty or his physical strength ; and the want forty old and infirm, I suppose at of society and sympathy in his least a hundred, from all quarters, ministerial labours, beginning to be were assembled. We opened with painfully felt, led him about the the Evening hymn. I knelt on summer of 1835 to meditate some reading part of our Evening ser- change of station, which should at vice, the rest standing, there not once afford him the rest now so being room or disposition to adopt essential to his bodily health, and my posture. Then sang the Old offer him nearer intercourse with 100th Psalm; and I read, and, with fellow-Christians. This opportuastonishment to myself, preached nity at length presented itself in closely, plainly, and confidently, the city of Bath, through an exfrom Matt. xi. 28. The generality change of duty with the Rev. seemed collected by curiosity, and William Holt, then minister of were uncomfortably crammed to- Laura Chapel. There, in the gether, and without seats; but immediate neighbourhood of belosome seemed interested, and, with ved relatives, he found a delightful the exception of a few, who I
resource in the family of his broafterwards heard behaved ill at the ther-in-law, the Rev. Harvey further end of the room,
all seemed Marriott, Rector of Claverton.
upon this new and join as one of the worshippers, in a untried scene of ministerial labours
way that is new, and strangely deearly in January, 1836. This lightful to me at seasons. The change proved the less successful power of throwing off all weight in renovating his bodily frame, as and care connected with officiating, he found it more exciting and which has ever been so burdensome attractive to his spiritual affections, and depressing to me, is very happy and pastoral zeal; though with no and delightful; the singing find immediate, or appointed, pastoral peculiarly touching and elevating. duties. • Such in these moments,
... You ask, and with apparent as in all the past,' he will best soberness, whether I really prefer express his own feelings on enter- my novel situation to that lately ing upon his new sphere of active left. I would not have a choice, life.
and I strive to put away instantly • Work is yet granted me, and every rising thought about matters much is to be done here: even for of the kind. Perhaps, if I consuch a labourer, service is found.' sidered the point, I should be After speaking very humbly of obliged to confess, that the utter his own characteristic severity, he loneliness of West Hoathley caused adds : Oh may my prudent and me what I do not wholly feel here, tender master vouchsafe to me and what I think I never again gentleness and judgment, (really can voluntarily covet or court. If such) and affectionate fidelity; He wills it, I will not contend; and, what is very requisite, a hal- but I think he may not : if he lowed indifference to opinion, with does, possibly I shall return in a habitual deafness to religious gos
different state altogether, less sip, and much of a silent, calm, likely to be the prey of suffering spiritual frame of heart and mind! not to be described. It has been Trials, I find, do not leave us, generally profitable; but I tremunless the Lord himself does. And
blingly say, I hope its work is how blessed it is, they only vary done. Do not raise questions in in number, and kind, and power of my mind, my dearest friend, of the affecting us! I seem called to a kind.
I try to forget temporal new and peculiar order of them, matters as much as possible. I which may be expected to make have plenty to do from morning strange inward disclosures, as well to night. I live much alone, as discoveries without, in respect declining invitations, of which to human nature generally, and the there would be many. ... Don't workings and rebellions of the soul, think I forget absentees, though under gracious influence and disci- I would attain to pline; only, perhaps, to be learnt lessness respecting all future, and by intimate and professional asso- even present affairs. My heart ciation with collected bodies of is much at G. but my time is men and Christians.'
gone.' Oh, what a work is ours ! I • My health is improved, I seem to feel it more awful and think, I may gratefully pronounce, tremendous than ever, yet more much as the Sunday novel and blessed and exalted. Never was trying work shakes me for the I so. SENSIBLY weak in it, yet time; and the hills still cause a never so strong. My Sabbaths
My Sabbaths burning at the chest. Forward I are days of much demand
the do not look, no, not a week; and frame generally, but not unhappy I do bless the Lord, I am not days. Between my own services greatly tempted in this respect; I manage to get to some neigh- never having enjoyed more prebouring sanctuary, where I can cious carelessness, except (for such
must have exceptions) wben called couraging, yet humbling, token of upon to pay a new ministerial my almost stranger friends and visit. I shrink from this with brethren's interest in one of the somewhat diminished, but still least and unworthiest of the Lord's great trembling and dread; yet I ministers; and do request you, as go, where I am invited, for strictly the voluntary organ (possibly oriministerial objects; and that in the ginator) of the affectionate meaway of morning visitings, which sure, to accept yourself, and kindly might increase extensively, I have render to those associated with reason to believe. Does not this
you, my sincerest and
cordial make you alarmed for the peace, acknowledgements. if not the very existence of your • The accompaniment of your old trembling recluse of a neigh- prayers, you will believe, dear Sir, bour ; who, certainly, however, greatly enhances my estimation of loved retirement never more than the valuable and truly appropriate at this moment; or naturally more gift: may they graciously be heard shrunk from its opposites ? I daily
and continued behalf ! feel that the Lord has pitifully, · The God of all grace, our by former long discipline such as Father and God in Christ Jesus, few I believe could understand, abundantly bless His beloved peofortified me, in some measure, ple worshipping at Laura Chapel, against the varied and peculiar who will long live in my heart ! temptations and snares just now The Lord enlarge and multiply for a little moment multiplied in their profit and their peace, under my path.'
the present and permanent ministry On leaving Laura Chapel the of His gospel! The Lord precongregation intimated their res- serve them from the manifold pect and attachment by forward- spiritual errors and perils of our ing to him a gown and cassock, fearful day: sanctify them wholly with a pocket service for the Lord's through the presence and power Supper; accompanied by an ap- of the Holy Ghost, and keep propriate address. To this Mr. them humbly, confidingly, and P. replied
joyfully expecting His glorious · I have heretofore cherished, as re-appearing! you suspect, very strong objec- Mr. Paterson's health and spirits tions to the principle of testifying were so much improved during his thus the affectionate regard that residence in Bath, that in the latter may be entertained by the flock end of the year he entered into the towards a pastor; and under their marriage state with Miss Cordelia influence would gladly have suc- Cramton, a lady with whom he ceeded in the attempt to check or had been acquainted from his first divert the meditated effusion,-far residence at East Grinstead. This too marked and flattering,—of union however was only of short Christian esteem and kindness. duration. It took place Nov. 10, Viewed, however, in the light in 1836, and in the following January which
dear Sir, have deli- he was summoned to depart. cately, and I believe simply, Mr. Paterson's complaint was placed the matter, as a tribute of an affection of the heart, perhaps love to the servant for his work the most secret, insidious, and and his Master's sake, I do con- incurable that can assail the human sider that it may, not only fear- frame, and often the result of an lessly and in simplicity, but grate- unusual vitality in other parts of fully and gladly be accepted. the system. • It may be, that Under this new impression I re- this very activity and energy conceive the highly pleasing and en- ceal the earlier stages of a disease which they have been instrumental
tre of repose.
Let us pray for in producing. The more activity one another, dearest friend, and and force at the moment, the less counsel each other as we journey will be felt the secret, and increas- together onward towards the reing retardation of the streams of gions of eternal day.' life; and the very exertions and Dec. 29.- What weather ! feelings which give life at the might naturally be the first allumoment, deceive the patient and sion, but all weather would be his friends, and lay only a surer pretty much alike to me, who am train for debility and death.' the largest part of twenty-four
While suffering under this com- hours in bed. Alas! even my inplaint, Mr. P. writes
dolence, increased of late, is beDec. 7, 1836.—- I am indeed' ginning to grow weary of this restrangely idle,-or more correctly, pose, if such it may be called. I as usual, indolent and indulgent. feel, not only as if I could do True, my strength fails, and under nothing in my work, but never the prescribed regimen and appli- should any more; and it is a trycations, may be expected still ing thought. But I am mercifully more to diminish for the present; kept from impatience and overbut, blessed be the Lord ! I am much carefulness. The Master no longer alone, and not depressed can and will do what shall most in mind under physical debility glorify himself and advance his and ailment, as I have been in past cause; and what else ought we to less happy circumstances. I feel think about ? He has given me indeed daily more and more, not comfort in my present unwellness, only the real blessing of a com- that I have not had before--not panion ; but emphatically of that the least-a tender sympathizing, one, whom, after so many years of unwearying nurse ; such as could acquaintance and suspension, He rarely be found. She is indeed a has graciously vouchsafed me for blessing, and I trust, will prove the remnant, I trust, of the earthly
so when, or if, I am pilgrimage. It is well, nay highly permitted to get abroad again needful, that with such a gift there amongst my scattered and heedless should be an attendant little cross, people-Pray for us!... Do not to remind an unheavenly heart that deem me worse than I am: a good its rest is not here. And I would appetite, enough sleep, and no believe that otherwise, the very pain, is not a gloomy bulletin. trial appointed me is precisely what Extreme exhaustion and some disis calculated and intended to profit tress, is almost all I have to menspiritually a slow and dull pupil tion; and this how good for one in the school of the Lord Jesus who has so much to learn! What Christ. Oh how much easier is it a catalogue of distinct points and to preach against pride, than to lie lessons in self-knowledge and selflow at his feet, and to protest subjugation already revealed, could against worldliness, than to get the I send you! But it is one thing world effectually eradicated from to see and even feel, and another the affections ! When shall we to correct, and abandon the soul find every creature drawing us to faithfully and eagerly to the Spirit God,--the soul seeking, and satis- for renewal and healing.' fied with Him alone ? Every fresh It was not until the 15th of bestowment of His goodness and January, 1837, that necessity comliberality tends to disclose still pelled Mr. P. to accept assistance, more plainly and affectingly our and resign his ministerial duties. alienation from Himself and indis- During the services of the precedposition to return to our only cen- ing Sunday (January 8th) he had
suffered so visibly from the ex- excitement, would bring on a return haustion of his frame under their of the dreadful sickness,
By deperformance, that some of his grees, however, we fell into a little parishioners had kindly urged him conversation. He first remarked to omit the sermon; but such was on the unexpected nature of his his unmoved determination to attack; but added, “ However, it “ spend and be spent” in his Mas- is better to be laid on the shelf, ter's service, that he would not than to lay one's self there.” On comply with their earnest entreaty. my observing that he rested on the That night he was much fatigued; promises, he replied deliberately, and was confined partially to his · Not on the promises only, but on bed, until the following Wednes- the whole character of God. Those day, when to the surprise of his attributes which were once so full tender and affectionate wife, he of terror, are now my comfort and declared his purpose of driving her repose-the holiness, justice, purity a distance of five miles to pay a of God.' He said, I have no visit of congratulation to a beloved wish but for more more patience;' parent, on the return of a birth- and with much emotion he added, day.
particularly addressing one whom On returning to his home, our he knew to be intimately acquaintdear friend seemed, from the in- ed with those mental sufferings, crease in the cough, and shortness under which his soul had so long of breathing, to have taken cold writhed The clouds are all
gone but whether this had been the case, - it is now perfect peace, not joy or whether the sudden aggravation or triumph, that might be fallaof the symptoms was produced cious, but peace, perfect peace!' only by the unexpectedly rapid After solemnly commending him progress of disease, it is vain to
in prayer, to the mercy and love inquire. We know only the suf- of a reconciled Father in Christ fering which ensued, and the fatal Jesus, we embraced and parted; result.
and through a sudden attack of the “ On Saturday January 14th, prevailing epidemic, I was presays Mr. Hoare, I went over to vented ever meeting again in this West Hoathley to take the world of sin and sorrow, duty on the following day. I who had been to me as a brother found Mr. Paterson in a state beloved.” of weakness and suffering, for On the following Saturday, once which I was little prepared. I or twice a few moments of mental perceived at once the impossibility, wandering marked the increased bumanly speaking, of his ever debility of the dear sufferer; but rallying from such a prostration of each time he was conscious of the strength; an opinion confirmed by circumstance, and named it with bis medical attendant. During the regret. Once he spoke as if emSunday I could see but little of ployed for his parish; at another him; and that short time was time of a Missionary Report; but chiefy occupied in devising means these very wanderings only more for his immediate bodily relief. clearly marked the one subject On the Monday, violent and al- that filled his soul.
There only most incessant sickness came on. he was ever at home. The last At length he was so far relieved as portion of Scripture he had been to admit us. On our first entering studying was Heb. xi.; he had his room, where he was lying in proceeded as far as the 16th verse, his bed supported by pillows, he which had been read to him on the requested we would not speak, as Wednesday, and it was probably he feared the slightest effort or in reference to this very verse, OCTOBER 1838.