and among other things told her, 'that it was impossible to be a happy Christian, unless the Bible was diligently and self-denyingly studied.'

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Speaking upon the subject of God hearing and answering prayer in her own experience, she said, It has often been a subject of prayer with me, that whatever might happen to me in the way suffering, I might never entertain hard thoughts of God; and he has graciously shewn me, that all his dealings with me, both in body and soul, were in love and mercy; he has taught me to see all things in the light of his countenance, so that I have been enabled to recognise his hand in all the circumstances of my experience, and to justify him, when otherwise I might have murmured.' She also said,

During my illness, prayers, that I had offered up twenty years past, have been answered, though not in the way I had expected.' She strongly attested that God was a prayer-hearing and a prayeranswering God. Speaking of the Bible, she said, It is truth; everything must be brought to that standard; what it forbids we must give up, and what it commands we must willingly do; and though we shall find it very difficult, yet God is all-sufficient, and we can pray to him at all times: ask--seekknock-and he will give us what we want. Study the Bible; it must not be read a little to pacify the conscience, but studied; it will never be relished without; the less we know of the Bible, the less we like it; but the more we know of it, the better we like it if we do not make that progress, either in enjoying it, or understanding it, which we desire or expect, we must not be discouraged; but persevere in prayer and diligent perusal, and we "shall know, if we follow on to know"-" the diligent soul shall be made fat." She added, We must decidedly sepa

DECEMBER 1838.

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rate from the world; if we do so, world will not trouble us much." He that is not with me is against me. 25th. We were speaking of the doctrine of the intercession of Christ-She said, I am much impressed with the wonderful pity of the Holy Spirit, when I call to mind how repeatedly I have grieved him every day;' and observed, 'that it is very important and profitable, habitually to keep in mind the doctrine of the Holy Trinity in our prayers of the Father from whom, the Son through whom, and the Holy Ghost by whom, we receive all supplies of grace.' She thought the intercession of Christ a special comfort in the experience of true Christians: we may ask too importunately, ignorantly, or amiss, but He always asks what the Father delights to give. Ministers ought to preach much upon the intercession of Christ, as a most consolatory subject for all his church, particularly its tried members. Í have often been only able to say, Plead for me, plead for me, blessed Saviour!'

Sitting up in bed, she repeated, with much devoutness and intensity of expression, Praise God from whom all blessings flow,' &c. &c. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.' Yes!' she added, that is it: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! there is no prayer, no praise, without that; the love of the Father, the love of the Son, and the love of the Holy Ghost, to us sinners. Deity pervades the work of each, and all; whatever the Father works, there is Deity; or the Son, there is Deity; or the Holy Ghost, there is Deity; therefore every work of each begins well, goes on well, and must end well. O! wonderful love, that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost should, in the exercise of that infinite love, design and complete the salvation of sinners-such helldeserving rebels as we are.'

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She told me, that when she

first awoke in the morning, Satan greatly distressed her; for the first thought which came into her mind was, that God was dealing hardly with her in not mitigating her cough and expectoration; but she said, with tears in her eyes, and with unusual energy, I was so frightened! I flew to Jesus; and it was soon gone blessed be his name, he does not suffer me to be much tried in this way. I have often prayed that I might not have hard thoughts of God, and he has answered my prayers.'

She remarked to me in conversation, that there is nothing neutral in religion: wherever you see a precept, such as "Abhor that which is evil," you will find added, "Cleave to that which is good; "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you;""Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you; You cannot resist the devil without drawing nigh to God: you see some carnal professors attempting, or rather pretending to do the one without the other; it is impossible.'

June 14th.-To some young friends who called upon her, she said, I think if I were to live my life over again, I should wish to read scarcely anything else but the Bible; though, at the same time, I have no doubt that I should live, and sin as I have done, without God's special grace: but if we could lead such a life, reading only the word of God, or chiefly so, then we should always be prepared for communion with God, as well as for every duty, every trial; nothing would come amiss.'

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persuaded the only way to be really happy is to study the Bible diligently, and live near to God-that is happiness.' She spoke again of her own vileness,' and of her trust in the finished work of Christ.' 'We have,' she added, " very low conceptions of the mercy of God;he hears every cry.'

24th. A young friend, who resides at a distance, came to take

leave of her. She counselled her to read her Bible, with prayer: telling her that it contained all she wanted for her guidance and management, in every relation and circumstance of life-that if she read it diligently, with prayer for the teaching of God's Holy Spirit, she would be the happiest creature alive-that no one is really happy, who does not love and study the Bible. There is every encouragement,' she added, ' to do so. "Ask and you shall have, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you." You must use the means: God can, and does, work without them sometimes; but the means are ours, the blessing is his; if we wait on him in the use of means of his own appointment, we know he will give the blessing, because he has promised it.

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The Bible is everything, never neglect it; I fear your present engagements prevent your reading it as you ought; never omit reading it; the more you read it, the better you will understand it, and love it; it is because we read it so little, that we understand it so little: if we wish to accomplish any object of any kind, we use the means with diligence; so we must do in religion. The Bible is that which the Holy Spirit applies to the conscience, and uses for the conversion and salvation of souls.'

29th. Addressing me, she said, 'Seek the Lord, and he will be found of you; seek the Lord, and study his word, and when you come to die, he will be with you to support you, as he does me.' Among many valuable things which fell from her lips this day, and which, alas! are not distinctly remembered, she said, ' I have bad many trials, (mental, I mean,) but they were made the means of leading me to God, and he taught me to see that they were part of the covenant; and I was enabled to go to him, as my reconciled Father in Christ Jesus; and I would not

have had a trial less than I have bad. I would rather have sickness, and pain, and sorrow, than ease, and health, and the world, for my portion. I often wish I could do something, but I can do nothing. God accepts the desire.'

I observed to her, What a mercy it was, that before she was sick, she had been enabled to see that the ground of her salvation was nothing in herself.- O no,' she said, I rely entirely upon the full, free, and finished salvation in Christ. Four years ago he brought me to rely wholly on that declaration," The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin; that I believed, and do believe, and I bless his holy name for it.' At another time she said, ، When I am dying, do not let be troubled about getting any testimony from me, or sending for ministers. If I could speak, very little reliance is to be placed on what may be said in such circumstances; a dying person should be left as quiet as possible: I should not like to be drugged with opium; if my mind is free, I should wish to enjoy what communion I may with God. August 10th.-' I have been thinking,' she said, 'how exactly suitable Christ is to our necessities; whatever I want, that he is to me. Now I feel that I can do nothing: but there are no demands upon me; all has been done for me by Jesus; it is a finished salvation.'

After a severe fit of coughing and expectoration, she remarked, It is a good and wholesome thing to see what sin is in its effects; all our sufferings, and the humiliating circumstances of sickness-all are the consequences of sin; but blessed be God, we shall know more about it in heaven here, if our sins are pardoned, we can know very little; and if they are unpardoned, we know less, because we care very little about sin. Blessed be God, he forgives the sins of his people, but he will have them to see and know

what an evil and bitter thing sin is, as seen in its effects even here : He chastens, but he does not punish them. Oh! what must Christ have suffered ! We can know nothing of it, and probably never shall know. His bodily sufferings were nothing comparatively; it is said, " he made his soul an offering for sin;" he was sorrowful even unto death:" very little is said about his bodily sufferings. When we are under conviction of sin, and our consciences are burdened with guilt, our bodies suffer but little; it is the "inward

man.

13th. We had much interesting conversation together which is not recorded. Among other things she observed, ، I had very little anticipated living to see the summer, at least that it would be with much suffering and confinement; but I do not know when I have enjoyed the sunshine and the flowers more; and when I think that it is the last season in which I shall enjoy these things, I know that I am going where I shall have something much better. Oh! the love of Christ in the heart makes all things pleasant!' I observed, Do you not feel depressed, when you look at the sunshine, and the flowers, and think that it is for the last time?' No,' she said, 'I think I am leaving them for a better place. Sometimes when I think of leaving you, I feel depressed, but I know the Lord will take care of you and direct your steps.' I spoke of the 5th Psalm and 8th verse, as being a petition which I felt to be peculiarly suitable for me, "Lead me, O Lord, in thy righteousness, because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face." She replied, I have often in substance prayed the same for you.'

18th. I sometimes think,' addressing me, O what pleasure it will give me to see you come to me there,' ,(speaking of heaven.)

I reminded her of the Lord's declaration, “They neither marry, nor are given in marriage.'-'Yes,' she replied; we shall not know each other as in human relation, but as having enjoyed together communion with God on earth.' She remarked, that in the song of the redeemed before the throne, there is a recognition of sins committed;' and she added, ́ I have no doubt every sin will be remembered; but only to glorify Christ in blotting them out in his blood.' At another time to-day she said, When I am so ill as not to be able to reflect on the love of the love of Christ, and spiritual things, I think then what a mercy it will be to die! but so long as I am permitted to enjoy communion with God here, I am content to stay.'

I remarked to her, that, looking to second causes, I should suppose, that much of the settled peace she had, and still enjoyed, arose from her having read comparatively so few books; and that having selected some, which she considered the best, she had never laid them aside, but seemed to have a thorough and almost daily acquaintance with them. She said she believed it was so; and added, have long thought, and have so said to my younger friends, that they commit a great mistake in reading so many books; everything new is swallowed, and nothing digested; the mind is amused, but not instructed; and when sickness and death come, it is occupied with vain and unprofitable recollections and thoughts.'

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In the course of the same day she said to me- In praying for you this morning, I felt such an assured confidence that the Lord would take care of you, and guide and keep you, that I was enabled to give you up, and all my affairs to him.' And afterwards she added, The Lord will show you your path-I feel certain of it. When I am gone, I hope you will

avoid a snare we fell into when we first came to -—, that of going out to dinner frequently; you cannot live near to God if you visit much. I look back with much sorrow at this sad waste of time; I had frequently no leisure to read my Bible; my mornings were frittered away in visiting, or in receiving visitors; we dined out three or four times a week, came home late, our servants and ourselves were tired, and all duties were neglected.'

September 2nd.-After several days of increased suffering and debility, in which she had seldom spoken, she sat up in bed and tried to net, while I read to her the 14th of John, the 23rd and 27th Psalms, about which she conversed with me. Among other things she said, 'Oh! what a comfort it is to be able to think a little! When I read now of Zion -the Church-Jerusalem, &c., they come to me with a power and feeling I never knew till I had been debarred the privilege of meeting with the Lord's people in the public assembly. I am often humbled that I cannot take advantage of the few opportunities I now have; but I cannot think, or keep awake: I know that the Lord is every-where present, and if he is pleased to dwell in my heart, it is enough.'

Speaking on the 132nd Psalm, she remarked, that it had once occurred to her, on feeling some difficulty as to the 4th and 5th verses, that Christ's sufferings might be referred to, and that a parallel text might be Luke xii. 50-" I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how am I straightened till it be accomplished." When I was leaving her bed-side at night, I said to her, You are going to the heavenly rest, to be with the blessed, holy, glorious Lamb of God, who gave his life for you. She replied, I should like to talk of nothing else.'

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9th.-To-day she was very weak, and apprehended herself to be near her departure, telling me that she did not think she could live many hours; and added, Oh, what a mercy it is to know one is going!' I inquired of her what she meant; she said, 'Many persons are taken away suddenly without notice; but I have had long notice.' She appeared to be much in prayer. Afterwards she observed, that the Lord could remove the cloud if he pleased.' I begged her to tell me what she meant by the cloud,' (not having heard any expression of a similar import from her before.) She replied, 'I mean that I am under a cloud in respect of communion with God: I seem to be incapable of enjoying communion with him in prayer.' I remarked that "God looks upon the heart, and your heart is turned to him; what you complain of is bodily infirmity.' Yes,' she said, I am sure of that. I bless God that I had some nice reading this morning, and was enabled to lift up my heart a little to him; but,' she added, with much feeling, Oh! if I am to take the matter into my own hands, it is no longer of free grace. Jesus is all-sufficient.' She requested me to read to her the 23rd Psalm; when I had done so, she observed, 'That is a remarkable expression, "the shadow of death," it is only "a shadaw; is not really death; there is no death to a believer: Christ has destroyed death for us.' When a friend who saw her the same afternoon, spoke to her of the blessed change she was entering upon, she adverted to the expression again— 'It is but the shadow of death.' She conversed with me very calmly upon her expected dissolution, and expressed her wishes as to some particulars connected with it. Having spoken of the sweet communion we had enjoyed below, she said, We shall have sweeter

it

above.' She begged me to pray for her-Pray, not only that my faith fail not, but that it may be increased.'

She spoke to Mrs. of the kindness of God to her, and that nothing had failed of all that he had promised: that it was a wonder to herself that she was alive; she had much peace, but that it might not always be so; yet God was faithful.' After Mrs. was gone, I took an opportunity of asking her what she meant by saying that she might not always have peace,' for I feared Mrs.

might suppose she felt doubtful whether God would continue that mercy to her, except indeed that she had added, "He is faithful.' She replied, Perhaps Mrs.

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might not understand me; but my meaning was, that God might not permit me to continue in the enjoyment of my present peace without changes in my experience, but that his faithfulness remains the same.' She continued, This is an important point, and one upon which most of our mistakes arise; we too often judge of God's faithfulness by our faith; if we enjoy communion with God, we then judge that all is well, and we say, God is faithful; but if we are in darkness or doubt, we begin to question his faithfulness. fancy we must have so much hope, so much faith, so much joy and peace, or we are disappointed, and we mistrust his faithfulness; but this is not living upon Christ. How am I to judge of God's faithfulness? By his word, which declares "He is faithful." By his upholding and keeping me in the midst of all my weakness, and misery, and sin; he fulfils his promise in my experience. Were I to judge of God's faithfulness by my faith or my feelings, I should presently despair; but it is a straightforward path, (alluding to the last verse of the 139th Psalm, which we had been reading,) we must trust God,