der. ty with my daughter before me? Zounds, sir,| O'Cut. Avast, avast, my dear!—I have a I'll be the death of you. little business with your name; but as I was Charles, Ila! 'Squire Russet too!-You jol- to let nobody know it, I can't mention it till ly old cock, how do you do?-But, Harriot! you clear the decks, fait. my dear girl; [Taking hold of her] My life, [Pointing to the Major. my soul, myCharles. This gentleman, sir, is my most. Rus. Let her go, sir-come away, Harriot! intimate friend, and any thing that concerns -Leave him this instant, or I'll tear you asun-me may be mentioned before him. [Pulling her. O'Cut. O, if he's your friend, my dear, we Har. There needs no violence to tear me may do all above board. It's only about your from a man who could disguise himself in deciding a deferance with my lord Trinket. such a gross manner, at a time when he knew He wants to show you a little warm work; I was in the utmost distress. and, as I was steering this way, he desired me [Disengages herself, and exit with Russet. to fetch you this letter. [Gives a Letter. Charles. Only hear me, sir-madam!—my Maj. O. How, sir, a challenge! dear Harriot-Mr. Russet-gone!-she's gone! O'Cut. Yes, fait, a challenge. I am to be -and, 'egad, in very ill humour, and in very his lordship's second; and if you are fond of bad company! I'll go after her-but hold!- a hot birth, and will come along with that I shall only make it worse-as I did-now I jontleman, we'll all go to it together, and recollect-once before. How the devil came make a little line of battle a-head of our own, they here? Who would have thought of my dear. finding her in my own house?-My head turns round with conjectures.-I believe I am drunk -very drunk-so, 'egad, I'll e'en go and sleep myself sober, and then inquire the meaning of all this. For. I love Sue, and Sue loves me, etc. ACT IV. SCENE I.-OAKLY'S House. Enter CHARLES and MAJOR OAKLY. Charles. [Reads] Ha! what's this? This may be useful. [Aside. Maj. O. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you.A rare fellow this! [Aside] Yes, yes, I'll meet all the good company. Ill be there in m my waistcoat and pumps, and take a morning's breathing with you. Are you very fond of fighting, sir? O'Cut. Indeed, and I am; I love it better than grog. Maj. O. Bat pray, sir, how are you interested in this difference? Do you know what Maj. O. Poor Charles! What a scene of it is about? confusion! I would give the world to have been there. Charles. And I would give the world to have been any where else.--May wine be my poison, if ever I am drunk again! Maj. O. Ay, ay, so every man says the next morning. O'Cut. O, the devil burn me, not I. What signifies what it's about, you know? so we do but tilt a little. Maj. O. What, fight, and not know for what? O'Cut. When the signal's out for engaging, what signifies talking? Maj. O. I fancy, sir, a duel's a common Charles. Where, where can she be? Her breakfast with you. I'll warrant now, you father would hardly carry her back to lady have been engaged in many such affairs. Freelove's, and he has no house in town O'Cut. Upon my shoul, and I have: sea or himself, nor sir Harry-I don't know what to think I'll go in search of her, though I don't know where to direct myself. Enter WILLIAM. land, it's all one to little Terence O'Cutter.When I was last in Dublin, I fought one jontleman for cheating me out of a tousand pounds; I fought two of the Mermaid's crew about Sally Macguire; tree about politics; and one about the playhouse in Smock Alley. But upon my fait, since I am in England, Í have Wil. A gentleman, sir, that calls himself captain O'Cutter, desires to speak with you. Charles. Don't trouble me-I'll see no bo-done noting at all, at all. dy-I'm not at home Charles. This is lucky-but my transport Wil. The gentleman says he has very par-will discover me. [Aside] -Will you be so ticular business, and he must see you. Charles. What's his name? Who did you say? Wil. Captain O'Cutter, sir. Charles. Captain O'Cutter! I never heard of him before. Do you know any thing of him, major? kind, sir, [To O'Cutter] as to make my compliments to his lordship, and assure him, that shall do myself the honour of waiting on him. O'Cut. Indeed, and I will.-Arrah, my dear, won't you come too? [To Major Oakly. Maj. O. Depend upon it, captain.-A very Maj. O. Not I-But you hear he has par- extraordinary fellow! [Aside. ticular business. I'll leave the room. Charles. Now to get my intelligence. [Aside] Charles. He can have no business that need-I think, the time, sir, his lordship appoints be a secret to you,-Desire the captain to Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER. in his letter, is—a— O'Cut. You say right-Six o'clock. Charles. And the place-a-a-is—I think, behind Montague House? O'Cut. No, my dear!-Avast, by the ring in Hydepark, 'fait-I settled it there myself, for fare of interruption. Charles. True, as you say, the ring in Hyde-park-I had forgot-Very well, I'll not for me, perhaps!-What a strange world we fail you, sir. live in! No two people in it love one another O'Cut. Devil burn me, nor I. Upon my better than my brother and sister, and yet shoul, little Terence O'Cutter will see fair play, the bitterest enemies could not torment each or he'll know the reason-And so, my dear, other more heartily. However, yesterday, to your sarvant. You'll not forget to come, my give him his due, he behaved like a man. dear? [Exit. Keep it up, brother! keep it up! or it's all Maj. O. Ha, ha, ha! What a fellow!-He over with you. Since mischief is on foot, loves fighting like a game cock. I'll even set forwards on all sides. I'll in Charles. O uncle! the luckiest thing in the to him directly, read him one of my morworld! ning lectures, and persuade him, if I posMaj. O. What, to have the chance of being sibly can, to go out with me immediately: or run through the body? I desire no such good work him to some open act of rebellion against fortune. the sovereign authority of his lady wife. Zounds, Charles. Wish me joy, wish me joy! I brother! rant, and roar, and rave, and turn have found her, my dear girl, my Harriot!-the house out of the window. If I was a She is at an inn in Holborn, major! husband!-'Sdeath, what a pity it is that nobody Maj. O. Ay! how do you know? knows how to manage a wife but a bachelor. Charles. Why, this dear, delightful, charming, blundering captain has delivered me a wrong letter. Maj. O. A wrong letter! Charles. Yes, a letter from lord Trinket to lady Freelove. [Exit. SCENE II.-The Bull and Gate Inn. Har. What will become of me? Among all my distresses, I must confess that Charles's Maj. O. The devil! What are the contents? behaviour yesterday is not the least. So wild! Charles. The news I told you just now, so given up to excesses! And yet I am that she's at an inn in Holborn: and, besides, ashamed to own it even to myself—I love him : an excuse from my lord, for not waiting on and death itself shall not prevail on me to her ladyship this morning according to his give my hand to sir Harry-But here he copromise, as he shall be entirely taken up with mes! What shall I do with him? his design upon Harriot. Maj. O. So! so!-A plot between the lord and the lady. Charles. There! read, read, man! [Giving the Letter. Maj. O. [Reading] Um-um-um-Very fine! And what do you propose doing? Charles. To go thither immediately. Maj. O. Then you shall take me with Who knows what his lordship's designs may be? I begin to suspect foul play. Enter SIR HARRY BEAGLE. Sir H. Your servant, miss!-What! Not speak!-Bashful, mayhap-Why then I will -Lookye, miss, I am a man of few wordsWhat signifies haggling? It looks just like a dealer. What d'ye think of me for a husband?-I am a tight young fellow - sound wind and limb-free from all natural blemishes you.-Rum 1) all over, damme. Charles. No, no; pray mind your own. business. If I find there is any need of your assistance, I'll send for you. now Har. Sir, I don't understand you. Speak English, and I'll give you an answer. Sir H. English! Why so I do-and good plain English too. What d'ye think of me for a husband? That's English-e'nt it? Maj. O. You'll manage this affair like a boy, I know none of your French lingo, none -Go on rashly with noise and bustle, of your parlyvoos, not I.-What d'ye think and fury, and get yourself into another scrape. of me for a husband? The squire says you Charles. No-no-Let me alone; I'll go shall marry me. incog.-Leave my chariot at some distance- Har. What shall I say to him? I had best Proceed prudently, and take care of myself, be civil. [Aside]-I think, sir, you deserve I warrant you. I did not imagine that I a much better wife, and beg— should ever rejoice at receiving a challenge, Sir H. Better! No, no,-though you're so but this is the most fortunate accident that knowing, I'm not to be taken in so.-You're could possibly have happened. B'ye, b'ye, uncle! a fine thing-Your points are all good?). [Exit, hastily. Har. Sir Harry! Sincerity is above all ceMaj. O. I don't half approve of this-and remony. Excuse me, if I declare I never will yet I can hardly suspect his lordship of any be your wife. very deep designs neither.-Charles may easily outwit him.-Harkye, Willliam! [At seeing William at some distance. Re-enter WILLIAM. Sir H. Hey! how! what! be off!-Why, it's a match, miss!-It's done and done on both sides3). Har. For heaven's sake, sir, withdraw your claim to me. I never can be prevailed onindeed I can't Sir H. What, make a match and then draw stakes! That's doing of nothing-Play or pay all the world over. Har. I am determined not to marry you, at all events. 1) Good. 2) Expressions in speaking of a horse. 3) In making a bargain, or betting a wager, on the tarf, it is customary to shake hands and say done. Sir H. But your father's determined you-You know your poor fond father dotes on shall, miss-So the odds are on my side.you to madness.-I would not force you, if I am not quite sure of my horse, but I have I did not love you-Don't I want you to be the rider hollow1) | happy ? - But I know what you would have. Har. Your horse! sir-d'ye take me for-You want young Oakly, a rakehelly, drunkenbut I forgive you.-I beseech you, come into my proposal. It will be better for us both in the end. Sir H. I can't be off 2). Har. Let me entreat you. Sir H. I tell you, it's impossible. Sir H. I can't, damme. Har. Release me from sir Harry, and if I ever marry against your consent, renounce me for ever. Rus. I will renounce you, unless you'll have sir Harry. Har. Consider, my dear sir, you'll make me | miserable. - Absolve me from this hard command, and in every thing else it will be hap Har. I beseech you. [Sir Harry whistles] piness to obey you. How! laughed at? Sir H. Will you marry me, Ally Croker? Rus. You'll break my heart, Harriot, you'll dear Ally, break my heart-Make you miserable!-Don't [Singing. I want to make you happy ? Is not he the Har. Marry you! I had rather be married richest man in the county ?That will make [Walks about. you happy.-Don't all the pale-faced girls in She has a deal the country long to get him?——And yet you her pasterns are so perverse, and wayward, and stubborn -Zounds, you shall have him." to a slave, a wretch-You! Sir H. A fine going thing of foot 3) - treads well upon goes above her ground Har. Peace, wretch !- Do you talk to me as if I were your horse? Har. For heaven's sake, sir Rus. Hold your tongue, Harriot!-I'll hear Sir H. Horse! Why not speak of my horse ? none of your nonsense. You shall have him, If your fine ladies had half as many good I tell you, you shall have him-He shall marry qualities, they would be much better bargains. you this very night-I'll go for a licence and Har. And if their wretches of husbands a parson immediately. Zounds! Why do I liked them half so well as they do their horses, stand arguing with you? An't I your father ? they would lead better lives. Have not I a right to dispose of you? You shall have him. Sir H. Mayhap so.-But what signifies talking to you?-The squire shall know your tricks -He'll doctor you.-I'll go and talk to him. Har. Sir! Rus. I won't hear a word. You shall have [Exit. Har. Sir!-Hear me !-but one word!-He Har. Go any where, so that you go from me. him. Sir H. He'll break you in-If you won't go in a snafile, you must be put in a curb-will not hear me, and is gone to prepare for He'll break you, damme. [Erit. this odious marriage. I will die before I con Har. A wretch!-But I was to blame to sent to it. suffer his brutal behaviour to ruffle my temper -I could expect nothing else from him, and he is below my anger. Enter RUSSET. Enter CHARLES, in a Frock, etc. Ha! What do I see?, [Screaming. Charles. Peace, my love!- My dear life, make no noise! I have been hovering about Rus. Are not you a sad girl! a perverse, the house this hour-1 just now saw your father stubborn, obstinate- Har. My dear sir and sir Harry go out, and have seized this precious opportunity to throw myself at your feet. Rus. Lookye, Harriot, don't speak, -- you'll Har. You have given yourself, sir, a great put me in a passion-Will you have him?-deal of needless trouble. I did not expect or Answer me that-Why don't the girl speak? hope for the favour of such a visit. -Will you have him? Charles. O, my Harriot, upbraid me, reHar. Dearest sir, there is nothing in the proach me, do any thing but look and talk world_elsewith that air of coldness and indifference. Let Rus. Why there!-there!-Lookye there! me, while their absence allows it, convey you - Zounds, you shall have him-Hussy, you shall from the brutal violence of a constrained marhave him-you shall marry him to-night-Did riage. not you promise to receive him civilly?-How came you to affront him my Har. No, I will wait the event, be it what it may;-Oh, Charles, I am too much inclined Har. Sir, I did receive him very civilly; they shan't force me to marry sir Harry but his behaviour was so insolent and insup- but your behaviour Not half an hour ago, portablefather reproached me with the looseness Rus. Insolent!-Zounds, I'll blow his brains of your character. [Weeping. out.-Insolent to my dear Harriot!—A rogue, Charles. I see my folly, and am ashamed a villain! a scoundrel! I'll-but it's a lie of it;-you have reclaimed me, Harriot, on my I know it's a lie-He durst not behave insolent-soul you have. If all women were as attenWill you have him? Answer me that. Will tive as yourself to the morals of their lovers, you have him?-Zounds, you shall have him. a libertine would be an uncommon character. Har. If you have any love for me, sirRus. Love for you!-You know I love you 1) To have a person hollow, is to be sure of him. 2) To be off is the same as to hedge. 5) A good strong foot-Walks well on her houghs-lifts her feet gracefully from the ground. But let me persuade you to leave this place while you may: Major Oakly will receive us at his house with pleasure. I am shocked at the thougths of what your stay here may reserve you to. Har. No, I am determined to remain. To leave my father again, to go off openly with nate! Plague 'on't, captain, how could you a man, of whose libertine character he has make such a strange blunder? himself so lately been a witness, would justify O'Cut. I never thought of a blunder. I was his anger, and impeach my reputation. to deliver two letters; and if I gave them one Enter Chambermaid. a piece, I thought it would do. Chamb, O law, ma'am!-Such a terrible Lady F. And so, my lord, the ingenious accident!- As sure as I am here, there's a captain gave the letter intended for me to pressgang has seized the two gemmin, and is young Oakly, and here has brought me a carrying them away, thof so be one an'em challenge. says as how he's a knight and baronight, and that t'other's a squire and a housekeeper. Har, Seized by a pressgang! impossible! Charles. Oh, now the design comes out.But I'll balk his lordship. Lord T. Ridiculous! Never was any thing so mal apropos,-Did you read the direction, captain? O'Cut. Who, me?-Devil burn me, not I. I never rade at all. Chamb. Lack-a-daisy, ma'am, what can we Lord T. 'Sdeath! how provoking! When I do? There is master, and John Ostler, and had secured the servants, and got all the Bootcatcher, all gone a'ter'em.-There is such people out of the way—when every thing was [Exit, en train. an uproar as never was! How? how? my dear lady Free Har. If I thought this was your contrivance,| Lady F. Nay, never despair, my lord! I've sir, I would never speak to you again. hit upon a method to set every thing to rights Charles. I would sooner die than be guilty again. of it. This is lord Trinket's doing, I am sure. Lord T. I knew he had some scheme in agitation, by love, how? a letter I intercepted this morning. [Harriot Lady F. Suppose then your lordship was screams] Ha! here he comes. Nay, then, it's to go and deliver these country gentlemen plain enough. Don't be frightened, my love! from their confinement; make them believe it I'll protect you. But now I must desire you was a plot of young Oakly's to carry off my to follow my directions. niece; and so make a merit of your own services with the father. Enter LORD TRINKET. Lord T. Now, madam.-Pox on't, he here again!-Nay then, [Draws] come, sir! You're Lord T. Admirable! I'll about it immediately. O'Cut. Has your lordship any occasion for unarm'd, I see. Give up the lady: give her my sarvice in this expedition? up, I say, or I am through you in a twink- Lord T. O, no-Only release me these ling. [Going to make a Pass at Charles. people, and then keep out of the way, dear Charles. Keep your distance, my lord! I captain. have arms. [Produces a Pistol] If you come O'Cut. With all my heart, 'fait. But you a foot nearer, you have a brace off balls are all wrong:-this will not signify a brass through your lordship's head. farding. If you would let me alone, I would give him a salt eel1), I warrant you.-But upon my credit, there's noting to be done without a little tilting. Lord T. How? what's this? pistols! Charles. At your lordship's service,-Sword and pistol, my lord.-Those, you know, are our weapons. If this misses, I have the fellow to it in my pocket. Don't be frightened, madam. His lordship has removed your friends and relations, but he will take great care of you. Shall I leave you with him? Har. Cruel Charles! you know I must go with you now. Charles. A little way from the door, if your Lord T. Sir!-'Sdeath!-Madam!- I [Exi Lord T. But where shall I carry them, when have delivered them? Lady F. To Mr. Oakly's, by all means; you may be sure my niece is there. Lord T. To Mr. Oakly's!--VVhy, does your ladyship consider! 'Tis going directly in the fire of the enemy-throwing the dementi full in their teeth. Lady F. So much the better. Face your enemies-nay, you shall outface them too. I'l certainly meet you there. It's hard indeed i [Waves. two persons of condition can't bear themsel ves out against such trumpery folks as the Charles. I have no leisure to talk with your family of the Oakly's. Lord T. But, sir!-Mr. Oakly! lordship now.-A little more that way, if you Lord T. Odious low people! But I lose please. [Waves]-You know where I live.-time-I must after the captain-and so, til If you have any commands for miss Russet, we meet at Mr. Oaklys, I kiss your ladyship's you will hear of her too at my house.-Nay, hands-you won't fail me? keep back, my lord. [Presents] Your lordship's most obedient, humble servant. Why, when Lady F. You may depend on me. [Ecit Lord Trinket] So, here is fine work! this [Exit, with Harriot. artful little hussy has been too much for us Lord T. [Looks at them, and pauses for all. Well, what's to be done? a short Time]I cut a mighty ridiculous a woman of fashion gets into a scrape, nofigure here, 'pon honour, [Exit. thing but a fashionable assurance can get her out of it again. I'll e'en go boldly to Mr. Oakly's, as I have promised, and if it appears practicable, I will forward lord Trinket's match: but if I find that matters have taken another turn, his lordship must excuse me. lu that ACT V. SCENE 1.-LADY FREELOVE'S House. Enter LORD TRINKET, LADY FREELOVE, with case, I'll fairly drop him, seem a perfect Toil. Yes, ma'am, I'll go this minute.--. O stranger to all his intentions, and give my here, John! my lady wants you. visit an air of congratulation to my niece and any other husband, which fortune, her wise father, or her ridiculous self has provided for her. [Exit. SCENE II.-MRS. OAKLY'S Dressing-room. Mrs. O. This is worse and worse!-He never held me so much in contempt before-To go out without speaking to me, or taking the least notice.—I am obliged to the major for this. How could he take him out? and how could Mr. Oakly go with him?— Well, Toilet. Enter TOILET. Enter JOHN. Mrs. O. Where's your master? Mrs. O. Why did not you go with him? John. Because he went out in the major's chariot, madam. Mrs. O. Where did they go to? Mrs. O. Believe and suppose!-and don't know, and can't tell!-You are all fools.-Go about your business. [John going] Come here. [Returns] Go to the major's-no-it does not Toil. My master is not come back yet, signify-go along-[John going] Yes, harkye, ma'am. [Returns] go to the major's, and see if your master is there. Mrs. O. Where is he gone? Toil. I don't know, I can assure your ladyship. John. Give your compliments, madam? Mrs. O. Why don't you know?-You know Mrs. O. My compliments, blockhead! Get nothing. But I warrant you know well enough, along. [John going] Come hither. [Returns] if you would tell.-You shall never persuade Can't you go to the major's, and bring me me but you knew of Mr. Oakly's going out word if Mr. Oakly is there, without taking to-day. any further notice? John. Yes, ma'am. Toil. I wish I may die, ma'am, upon my honour, and I protest to your ladyship I knew Mrs. O. Well, why don't you go then? nothing in the world of the matter, no more And make haste back.-And, d'ye hear, John? than the child unborn. There is Mr. Paris, Toil. That I knew nothing at all of the matter. Mrs. O. He is certainly gone after this young flirt.-His confidence and the major's insolence provoke me beyond expression. Re-enter TOILET, with PARIS. Where's your master? Par. Il est sorti. He is gone out. Par. Ah, madame, je n'en scais rien. I know nothing of it. Mrs. O. Nobody knows any thing. Why did not you tell me he was going out? John. Madam! [John going, returns. Mrs. O. Nothing at all-go along-[John goes] How uneasy Mr. Oakly makes me!Harkye, John! [John returns. John. Madam! Mrs. O. Send the porter here. [Exit. shall Toil. So, she's in a rare humour! have a fine time on't, [Aside] Will your ladyship choose to dress? Mrs. O. Pr'ythee, creature, don't tease me with your fiddle-faddle stuff-I have a thousand things to think of.-Where is the porter? why has not that booby sent him? What is the meaning Re-enter JOHN. a very John. Madam, my master is this moment returned, with major Oakly, and my young master, and the lady that was here yesterday. Par. I dress him-Je ne m'en soucie pas Mrs. O. Very well. [Exit John] Returned du plus-He go where he will-I have no-yes, truly, he is returned and in business with it. extraordinary manner. Mrs. O. Yes, you should have told me-open defiance. But I'll go down, and show This is setting me at that was your business-and if you don't mind them I have too much spirit to endure such your business better, you shan't stay here, I usage. [Going] Or, stay-I'll not go amongst can tell you, sir. his company-I'll go out-Toilet! Mrs. O. Order the coach; I'll go out. [Toilet going] Toilet, stay-I'll e'en go down to them -No-Toilet! Toil. Ma'am! Mrs. O. Order me a boiled chicken-I'll not Par. De tout mon cœur.-Jean! ici! Jean!-go down to dinner-I'll dine in my own speak, my lady. [Exit. room, and sup there-I'll not see his face Mrs. O. Impudent fellow! His insolent gra- these three days. vity and indifference is insupportable—Toilet! Toil. Ma'am! Mrs. O. Where's John? Why don't he come? Why do you stand with your hands before you? Why don't you fetch him? |