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you and Maskwell, are acquainted with the Care. I'm mistaken if there be not a fasecret of my aunt Touchwood's violent passion miliarity between them you do not suspect, for me.
Since my first refusal of her ad-for all her passion for you. dresses, she has endeavoured to do me all Mel. Pho, pho! nothing in the world but ill offices with my uncle; yet has managed bis design to do me service; and he endeavours 'em with that subtilty, that to him they have to be well in her esteem that he may be able borne the face of kindness; while her malice, to effect it. like a dark lantern, only shone upon me Care, Well, I shall be glad to be mistaken; where it was directed; but, whether urg'd but your aunt's aversion in her revenge, canby her despair, and the short prospect of time not be any way so effeclually showni, as in she saw to accomplish ber designs, whether promoting a means to disinherit you. She is the hopes of revenge, or of her love, termi- handsome, and cunning, and naturally amorous: pated in the view of this my marriage with Maskwell is flesh and blood at besi, and
opCynthia, I know not; but this morning she poriunities between them are frequent. His surprised me in my own chamber.
affection for you, you have confessed, is Care. Was there ever such a fury? Well, grounded upon his interest; that you have bless us! proceed. What followed? transplanted; and, should it take root in my
Mel. It was long before either of us spoke; lady, I don't see what you can expect from passion had tied her tongue, and amazement the fruit. mine. In short, the consequence was thus; Mel. I confess the consequence is visible she omitted nothing that the most violent love were your suspicions just. But see, the could urge, or tender words express; which company is broke up: let's meet ’em. when she saw had no effect, but still I pleaded bonour and nearness of blood to my uncle, Re-enter Brisk, with LORD Touchwood, Lord then came the storm | fear'd at first; for, Froth, and Sir Paul Pliant. starting from my bedside, like a fury she flew Lord T. Out upon't, nephew; leave your to my sword, and with much ado I prevented father-in-law and me to maintain our ground her doing, me or herself a mischief." Having against young people, disarmed her, in a gust of passion she left Mel. I beg your lordship's pardon. We me, and in a resolution, confirmed by a were just relurningthousand curses, not lo close her eyes till Sir P. Where you, son? 'Gadsbud, much they had seen my ruin,
better as it is-Good, strange! I swear I'm Care. Exquisite woman! But, what the almost tipsy; t'other bottle would bave been devil, does she think thou hast no more sense too powerful for me- as sure as can be, it than to disinherit thyself? For, as I take it, would: we wanted your company; but, Mr. ibis settlement upon you is with a proviso Brisk-where is be?' I swear and vow he's a that your uncle have no children.
most facetious person, and the best company; Hel. It is so. Well, the service you are and, my lord Froth, your lordship is so merry to do me, will be a pleasure to yourself: I must a man, he, he, he! get you to engage my lady Pliant all this Lord F. O fie, sir Paul, what do you mean? ereuing, that my pious auni may not work Merry! O, barbarous! I'd as lieve you call'd her to her interest: and if you chance to me-lool. secure her to yourself, you may incline her Sir P. Nay, I protest and row now 'tis to mine. She's handsome, and knows it; is true; when Mr. Brisk jokes, your lordship's Tery silly, and thinks she has sense; and has laugh does so become you, he, he, he. on old fond husband.
Lord F. Ridiculous, sir Paul! you are Care. I confess a very fair foundation for strangely mistaken: I lind champaign is powera loser to build upon.
ful. I assure you, sir Paul, I laugh at nobody's Mel. For my lord Froth, he and his wife jest but my own, or a lady's, I assure you, will be sufficiently taken up with admiring sir Paul. one another, and Brisk's gallantry, as they Brisk. How! how, my lord? Whal, affront call it. I'll observe my uncle myself; and my wit! Let me perish! do I never say any Jack Maskwell bas promised me to watch my thing worthy to be laugh'd al? aunt narrowly, and give me police upon any Lord F. 'O sie, don'i misapprehend me: I suspicion. As for sir Paul, my wise father- don't say so; for I often smile at your conin-law that is to be, my dear Cynthia has ceplions. But there is nothing more unbesuch a share in his fatherly fondness, he coming a man of quality than to laugh: 'tis would scarce make her a moment uneasy to such a vulgar expressiou of the passion every hare her bappy hereafter.
body can laugh. Then especially to laugh at Care. So, you have manned your works: the jest of an inferior person, or when any but I wish you may not have the weakest body else of the same quality does not laugh guard, where the enemy is strongest. with him: ridiculous! to be pleased with whal
Mel. Maskwell, you mean: prythce, why pleases the crowd! Now, when I laugh, I should you suspect him?
always laugh alonc. Care. Faith, I cannot help it: you know I Brisk. I suppose that's because you laugh never lik'd him; I am a little superstitious in at your own jesis, 'egad; ha, ha, ha! physiognomy.
Lord F. He, he! I swear though your
railMel. He has obligations of gratitude to bind lery provokes me to a smile. him to me; his dependance upon my uncle is Brisk. Ay, my lord, it's a sign 1 hit you through my means.
in the teeth; if you show 'em. Care. Upon your aunt, you meani.
Lord F. He, he, he! I swear that's so very Mel. My aunt?
pretty, I can't forbear.
I beseech you.
Lord T. Sir Paul, if you please we'll retire prehend.--Take it t'other way: suppose I
say to the ladies, and drink'a dish of tea to settle a witty thing to you. [To Careless. our heads.
Care. Then I shall be disappointed indeed. Sir P. With all my heart.-Mr. Brisk, you'll Mel. Let him alone, Brisk; he is obstinately come to us-or call me when you're going bent not to be instructed. lo joke: I'll be ready to laugh incontinently. Brisk. I'm sorrry for him, the deuce take me.
[Ereunt Lord Touchwood and Mel. Shall we go to the ladies, my lord? Sir Paul Pliant.
Lord F. With all my heart; methinks we Mel. But docs your lordship never sce are a solitude without 'em. comedies?
Mel. Or, what say you to another bottle Lord F. O yes, sometimes; but I never laugh. of champaign? Mel. No!
Lord F 0, for the universe, not a drop Lord F. Oh no-Never laugh, indeed, sir. more,
Oh, intemperate! I Care. No! why what d'ye go there for? have a flusbing in my face already,
Lord F. To distinguish myself from the [Takes out a pocket Glass, and looks in it. commonality, and mortify the poets; the fel- Brisk. Let me see, let me see, my lordlows grow so conceited' when any of their I broke my glass that was in the lid of my foolish wit prevails upon the side boxes! - snuff-box. Hum! Deuce take me, I have enI swear-he, he, he-I have often constrain'd couraged a pimple here too. my inclinations to laugh-he, be, he-to avoid [Takes the Glass, and looks in it. giving them encouragement.
Lord F. Then you must fortify him wild a Mel. You are cruel to yourself, my lord, patch; my wife shall supply you. Come, genas well as malicious to them.
[Ereunt. Lord F I confess I did myself some violence at first; but now I think I have conquered it. Enter Maskwell and Lady Torchwood.
Brisk. Let me perish, my lord, but there Lady T. I'll hear no more. You're false is something very particular and novel in the and ungrateful; come, I know you false. humour; 'tis true, it makes against wit, and Mask. I have been frail, I confess, madam, I'm sorry for some friends of mine that write; for your ladyship's service. but — 'egad, I love to be malicious. Nay, Lady 1. That I should trust a man whom deuce take me,
there's wit in't too; and wil I had known betray his friend! must be foil'd by wit: cut a diamond with a Mask. What friend have I betray'd? or to diamond; no other way, 'egad.
whom? Lord F. Oh, I thought you would not be Lady T. Your fond friend, Mellefont, and long before you found out the wit.
to me; can you deny it? Care. Wit! in what? Where the devil's Mask. I do not. the wit, in not laughing when a man has a Lady T. Have you not wrong'd my lord, mind to't?
who has been a father to you in your wants, Brisk. O Lord, why can't you find it out? -- and given you being? Have you not wrong'd Why, there 'tis, in the not laughing:-Don't him in the highest manner? you apprehend me?- My lord, Careless is a Mask. With your ladyship's help, and for very honest fellow; but, harkye, you under- your service, as I told you before-I can't stand me, somewhat heavy; a little shallow, deny that neither. Any thing more, madam? or so. Why, I'll tell you now: suppose now Lady T. More, audacious villain ! 'o, what's you come up to me-nay, pr’ythee, Careless, more is most my shame - Have you not disbe instructed-Suppose, as was saying, you honour'd me? come up to me, holding your sides, and Mask. No, that I deny; for I never told in laughing as if you would—Well! I look grave, all my life; so that accusation's answer'd-on and ask the cause of this immoderate mirth: to the next. you laugh on still, and are not able to tell Lady T. Death! do you dally with my pasme: still I look grave; not so much as smile- sion? insolent devil! But have a care ; provoke
Care. Smile! ono; what the devil should me not; you shall not escape my vengeance. you smile at, when you suppose I can't -Calm villain! how unconcern'd he slands,
confessing treachery and ingratitude ! Is there Brisk. Pshaw, pshaw, pr’ythee don't inter- a vice more black? O, I have excuses, thourupt me--but I tell you, you shall tell me at sands, for my faults: fire in my temper; paslast; but it shall be a great while first, sions in my soul, apt to every, provocation :
Care. Well, but prythee don't let it be a oppressed at once with love, and with despair. great while, because I long to have it over. -But a sedate, a thinking villain, whose black
Brisk. Well then, you tell me some good blood runs temperately bad, what excuse cau jest, or very witty thing, laughing all the clear? while as if you were ready to die — and I Mask. Will you be in temper, madam? I hear it, and look thus; would nol you be would not talk 'not to be heard. I have been disappointed ?
a very, great rogue for your sake, and you Care. No; for if it were a witty thing, I reproach me with it; I am ready to be a rogue should not expect you to understand it. still to do you service; and you are flinging
Lord F. O 'fie, Mr. Careless; all the world conscience and honour in my face, to rebale allow Mr. Brisk to bave wit: my wife says my inclinations. How am I to behave myself? he has a great deal; I hope you tbink her You know I am your creature; my life and a judge.
fortune in your power; to disoblige you brings Brisk. Pho, my lord, his voice goes for me certain ruin. Allow it, I would betray nothing - I can't tell how to make him ap-! you, I would not be a traitor to myself: 1
don't pretend to honesty, because you know Lady T. Kow, how? thou dear, thou preI am a rascal: but I would convince you, cious villain, how? from the necessity; of my being firm to you. Mask. You have already been tampering
Lady T. Necessity, impudence! Can no gra- with my lady Pliant. titude incline you? no obligations touch you? Lady T. I have: she is ready for
any Were you not in the nature of a servant? pression I think fit. and base not I, in effect, made you lord of Musk. She must be thoroughly persuaded all, of me, and of my lord ? Where is that that Mellefont loves her. humble love, the languishing, that adoration Lady T. She is so credulous that way nawhich was once paid me, and everlastingly turally, and likes him so well, that she will engaged?
believe it faster than I can persuade her. But Mask. Fixed, rooted in my heart, whence I don't see what you can propose from such nothing can remove 'em; yet you
a trilling design; for her first conversing with Lady T. Yet; what yet?
Mellefont will convince her of the contrary: Mask. Nay, misconceive me not, madam, Mask. I know it. I don't depend upon it; when I say I have had a generous, and a but it will prepare something else, and gain faithful passion, which you
had never favoured us leisure o lay a stronger plot: if I gain a but through revenge and policy.
little time, I shall not want contrivance. Lady T. Ha!
One minute gives invention to destroy Mask. Look you, madam, we
What, to rebuild, will a whole age employ. pray contain yourself, and hear me. You
[Exeunt. know you lov'd your nephew, when I first
АСТ II. sigh’d for you; I quickly found it: an argu
Scene I.-The same. ment that I loved ; for, with that art
veil'd your passion, 'twas imperceptible to all but Enter Lady Froth and CYNTHIA. jealous eyes. This discovery made me bold, Cyn. Indeed, madam! is it possible your Í confess it; for by it I thought you in my ladyship could have been so much in love? power: your nephew's scorn of you added to Lady F. I could not sleep; I did not sleep my hopes; I watched the occasion, and took one wink for three weeks together. you, just repulsed by him, warm at once with Cyn. Prodigious! I wonder want of sleep, lose and indignation; your disposition, my and so much love, and so much wit as your arguments, and happy opportunity, accom- ladyship has, did not turn your brain. plish'd my design. How I have loved you Ladj F. O, my dear Cynthia, you must not since, words have not shown; then how should rally your friend. But really, as you say, I words express ?
wonder too-But then I had a way ; for, beLady 1. Well
, mollifying devil! and have tween you and I, I had whimsies and vapours; I not met your love with forward fire? but I gave them vent.
Mask. Your zeal, l'grant, was ardent, but Cyn. How pray, madam ? misplaced: there was revenge in view; that Lady F. 0, I writ; writ abundantly. - Do woman's idol bad defild the temple of the god, you never write ? and love was made a mock-worship - A son Cyn. 'Vrite! what? and beir would have edg’d young Mellefont Laily F. Songs, elegies, satires, encomiums, upon the brink of ruin, and left him nought panegyrics, lampoons, plays, or heroic poems. but you to catch at for prevention.
Cyn. O Lord, not I, madam; I'm content Lady T. Again, provoke me! Do you wind to be a courteous reader. me like a larum, only to rouse my own stilld Lady F. O, inconsistent! In love, and not soul for your diversion ? Consusion !
write! If my lord and I had been both of Mask. Nay, madam, I'm gone, if you re- your temper, we had never come together.-lapse.—What needs this? I say nothing, but o, bless me! what a sad thing would that have what yourself, in open hours of love, have been, if my lord and I should never have met! told me. Why should you deny it?' Nay, Cyn. Then neither my lord or you would bow can you? Is not all shis present beat ever have met with your match, on my conowing to the same fire? Do not you love him science. still? How have I this day offended
Lady E. O'my, conscience, no more we in not breaking off his match with Cynthia? should; thou say'st right; for sure my lord which, ere to-morrow, shall be done, had you Froth is as fine a gentleman, and as much a but patience.
man of quality! - Åb! nothing at all of the Lady T. How! what said you, Maskwell?common air-I think I may say, be wants no-Another caprice to unwind my temper? thing but a blue ribbon and a star to make
Mask. No, by my love, I am your slave; him shine the very phosphorus of our hemithe slave of all your pleasures; and will not sphere. Do you understand those two hard rest till I have given you peace, would you words? If you don't l'll explain 'em to you. suffer me.
Cyn. Yes, yes, madam, I'm not so ignorant. Lady T. O, Maskwell, in vain do I disguise - At least I won't own it, to be troubled with me from thee; thou knowest me; knowest the your instructions.
[ Aside. very inmost windings and recesses of my soul. Lady F. Nay, 1 beg your pardon; but, beO Mellefont!—Married to-morrow!-Despairing derived from the Greek, I thought you strikes me. Yet my soul knows I hate him might bave escap'd the etymology. — But I'm too: let him but once be mine, and next im- the more amazed, to find you a woman of mediate ruin seize him.
letters, and not write! Bless me, how can MelMask. Compose yourself; you shall have lefont believe you love him? your wish. Will that please you?
Cyn. Why faith, madam, he that won't take
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fuide. esus ise 23 are poen. Lad, F. My lord, I base tera teline Lid. F. Dh riv bori teil vou? Yes, I vow, tria brw much I base bern in Inze wind you: sod ite sa: ed is my lord's love to me. And I swen I kase; I'm not ashamed to wait wat do you k l calit? I dare swear you no», ah! it makes my kaart lea: I ow I won't sess—Tte Siibub, ba, ba, ba!
wan I think on t-My desi lord! fia, Brisk. Because my lord's title's Froth, 'egad, ká, ba! do you remember, my lord? ba, ba, ba!-deace take me, very apropos and
[Squeezes him by the fland, Looks kindly surcrisioz, ba, ba, ka!
on hum, sighs, and then laughs out. Lady E. Her, ar, is not it? And then I call Lord f. Peasant aresture! Perfectly well
. my lord Spurioso; and myself — what dye AL! that look, ay, there it is; wibo could r.- think I call m seli? sist? 1*2s so mu brart was made a captive Brisk. Lactila, may be-gad, I cannot tell. first, and ever since it has been in love with Lady C. Bidits, that's all; just my own name. happy slasery,
Brisk. Biddy! 'egad, very pretty — deuce Lody k. () that tongue, that dear deceitful take me, if your ladisbip has not the art of tongue that charmio, sofiness in your mien surprising the most naturally in the world. I and your çapremin'~and then your bow! hope you'll make me bappy in communicating Good, my kid, bow as you did when I gave the poem. you my pewre. Here, suppose this my pic- Ladr F. 0, you must be my confidant; I fuse-Gives him a porkeillass] Pray mind must ask your advice. my lord; ah! he bows charmingly. [Lord Brisk. I'm your bumble servant, let me peFroth bows profoundly low, then kisses the risb. I presume your ladyship has read Bossu? Glansj Nay, my lord, you shan't kiss it so! Lady F. O res; and Rapin, and Dacier upon much; I still grow jealous, I vow now. Aristoile and Biorace. My lord, you must not
Lord F. I saw myself there, and kissed it be jealous, I'm communicating all to Mr. Brisk. for your sakr.
Lord F. No, no, I'll allow Mr. Brisk. Hare Lady F, Ah! gallantry to the last degree. you nothing about you to show him, my dear? Mr. Brisk, you're a judge; was ever any thing! Lady E. Yes, I believe I have. Mr. Brisk, so well bred as my lord?
come, will you go into the next room? and Brisk. Never any thing--but your ladyship, there I'll show you what I havc. let me perish.
[Exit with Brisk. Lady F. (), prettily turned again! let me Lord F. I'll walk a turn in the garden, and die but you bave a great deal of wit.— Mr. come to you. Mellefont, don't you think Mr. Brisk has a Mel. You're thoughtful, Cynthia. world of wit?
Cyn. I'm thinking that though marriage Mel. () yes, madam.
makes man and wise one flesh, it leaves 'em Brisk, ( dear, madam.
still two fools; and they become more conLady F. An infinite deal.
spicuous by setting offi) one another. Brisk. O heavens, madam
Mel. That's only when two fools meet, and Lady F. More wit than any body. their follies are opposed.
Brisk. I'm everlastingly your humble ser- Cyn. Nay, I have known two wits meel, vant, deuce take me, madam.
and by the opposition of their wit, render Lord F. Don't you think us a happy cou- themselves as ridiculous as fools. Matrimony
[To Cyn. is a hazardous game to engage in. What Cyn. I vow, iny lord, I think you are the think you of drawing stakes, and giving orer happiest couple in the world; for you're not in time? only happy in one another, and when you are Mel. No, hang't, that's not endeavouring to logether, but happy in yourselves, and by win, because it's possible we may lose ; since yourselves.
we have shuffled and cut, let's e'en turn up Lord F. I hope Mellefont will make a good trump now. husband too.
1) For instance, a lady's while hand is set off / embellishCyn. 'Tis my interest to believe he will, my
ed) by the contrast of the black keys of the pianglord.
forte; and genuemen generally prefer to play an ebony fute.
to my wife.
Cyn. Then I find it's like cards; if either of Lady P. Inhuman and treacherousus have a good hand, it is an accident of fortune. Sir P. Thou serpent and first templer of Mel No, marriage is rather like a game at womankind
fortune indeed makes the match, and Cyn. Bless me! Sir--madam-what mean the two nearest, and sometimes the two fur-you? thest are together; but the game depends en- Sir P. Thy, Thy, come away, Thy; touch tirely upon judgment.
him not; come hither,, girl ; go not near him, Cyn. Still it is a game, and consequently there's nothing but deceit about him; snakes one of us must be a Joser.
are in his looks, and the crocodile of Nilus is Mel. Not at all; only a friendly trial of skill, in his wicked appetite; he would devour thy and the winnings to be laid out in an enter-fortune, and starve thee alive. tainment.
Lady P. Dishonourable, impudent creature!
Mel. For heaven's sake, madam, to whom Enler Sir Paul and Lady Pliant.
do you direct this language? Sir P. 'Gadsbud! I am provoked into a ser- Lady P. Have I behaved myself with all the mentation, as my lady Froth says. Was erer decorum and nicely befitting the person of sir the like read of in story?
Paul's wife; have I preserved my honour as Lady P. Sir Paul, have patience, let me it were in a snow-house; have I, I say; prealone to ratlle him up.
served myself like a fair sheet of paper, for Sir P. 'Pray your ladyship, give me leave you to make a blot upon? to be angry; lll rattle him up,
I warrant you;
Sir P. And she shall make a simile with I'll teach him, with a certiorari, to make love any woman in England.
Mel. I am so amazed, I know not what to Lady P. You teach him! I'll teach him my- say. self; so pray, sir Paul, hold you contented. Sir P. Do you think my daughter - this
Sir P. Hold yourself contented, my lady Pli- pretty creature—'Gadsbud, she's a wife for a ant; I find passion coming upon me even 10 cherubim!-Do you think ber fit for nothing desperation, and I cannot submit as formerly, but to be a stalking-horse, ) to stand before therefore give way.
you take aim at my wife? 'GadsLady P. How now? will you be pleased to bud, I was never angry before in my life, and retire, and
I'll never be appeased again. Sir P. No, marry, will I not be pleased; I Mel. Confusion! this is my aunt; such maam pleased to be angry, that's my pleasure at lice can be engendered no where else. [Aside. Mel. What can this mean?
Lady P. Sir Paul, take Cynthia from his Lady P. 'Gads my life, the man's distracted. sight; leave me to strike him with the remorse Why, bow now, who are you? What am I? of his intended crime. Slidikins, can't l govern you? What did I Cyn. Pray, sir, stay; hear him; I dare afmarry you for ? Am I not to be absolute and firm he's innocent. uncontrolable? Is it fit a woman of my spirit Sir P. Innocent! Why, harkye; come hiand conduct should be contradicted in a mat-ther, Thy, harkye, I had it from his aunt, my ter of this concern?
sister Touchwood. 'Gadsbud, he does not care Sir P: It concerns me, and only me; besi- a farthing for any thing of thee, but thy pordes, I'm not to be governed at all times. When tion; why he's in love with my wife;' he I am in tranquillity, my lady Pliant shall com- would have tantalized thee, and dishonour'd mand sir Paul; but when I'm provoked to thy poor father, and that would certainly have fury, I cannot incorporate with patience and broke my heart. I'm sure, if ever I should reason; as soon may igers match with tigers, have horns, they would kill me; they would lambs with lambs, and every crealure couple never come kindly; I should die of 'em, like with its foe, as the poet says.
any child that was cutting his teeth–I should Lady P. He's hot-beaded still! Tis in vain indeed, Thy, therefore come away; but Proto talk to you; but remember I have a cur- vidence has prevented all, therefore come away lain-lecture 1) for you, you disobedient, head when I bid you. strong brule:
Cyn. I must obey. [Exit with Sir Paul. Sir P. No, 'tis because I won't be headstrong; Lady P. O, such a thing! the impiety of it because I won't be a brute, and have my head startles me; to wrong so good, so fair a creafortified, that I am thus exasperated. But I ture, and one that loves you tenderly: 'tis a will protect my honour: and yonder is the barbarity of barbarities, and nothing could be violater of my fame.
guilty of itLady P. 'Tis my honour that is concerned, Mel. But the greatest villain imagination can and the violation was intended to mc. Your form, I grant il; and next to the villany of honour ! you have none! but what is in my such a fact, is the villany of aspersing me with keeping, and I can dispose of it when I please; the guilt. How? which way was I to wrong therefore don't provoke me.
her? for yet I understand you not. Sir P. Hum, 'gadsbud, she says true. [Aside Lady É. Why, 'gads my life, cousin MelWell, my lady, march on; I will fight under lefont, you cannot be so peremptory as to you then: I am convinced, as far as passion [Sir Paul and Lady Pliant 1) It is a custom to go on moonlight nights shooting cur
liews on the sea-shore; but as these birds are come up to Melle font.
shy, there is no means of approaching them, but by 1) 'Tis 1 dteadful thing for a man to be subject to the hiding behind any old horse, which is made to go
threats of a curtain-lecture; but what a scene when backwa:ds to the place, for the purpose. pul in practice.-The lady commences her discourses not being frightened, by this means are easily aimed in bed, depriving the husband of his slecp-It is al, though it is difficoli to get more than one shot in culled curtain-leciare from the bed curtains.
the same place the same night,