have effectually removed. He had a bad and unjust neighbour. Granted-but was it not in his power to have changed his refidence, and to have followed his occupation as a merchant in fome other place? "The fecond alfo was alike intemperate in his complaints. But why arraign Alla or his Prophet, when he himfelf poffeffed the remedy of his fuffering? He had a bad and worthlefs wife; but could he not immediately have gone with her to the Imam, given her a writing of divorce, and fent her away? "As to the third man, consult your own hearts, and confefs my juftice. From an ungracious child who can fly? From that forrow, what change of place, or what decifion of the law, can preferve us? It follows us abroad, it wounds us in folitude, it disturbs our meals, and haunts our pillows. In this cafe, pity is the flightest boon we can beftow, and liberality is no more than justice." The Imams, the Emirs, the Grandees, and the Court were no longer aftonifhed, but confeffed aloud the wifdom of the Caliph. No RETROSPECT OF POLITICS, FOR THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER 1793. OTHING could be more aufpicious than the manner in which the fun entered the Balance: the British feale preponderated, and the French one kicked the beam. Our enemies had loft their courage, their towns, and their breeches, and the brave Auftrians threatened to ftrip the fkin over their ears. We had done much for the Emperor; the crowns we gave to the King of Sardinia were enough to confole him, even if he had loft his own; and the Prince of Heffe Caffel was forced to confefs, that if many of the fwinifh multitude had been flaughtered, he had nevertheless brought his pigs to a fair market! But though, like generous hofts, we began by helping helping our friends, it was ftill neceffary to do fomething for ourselves. A law Lord, who remembered that the wifest thing he ever did was to quit his own country, thought that the French would readily retire from Dunkirk *; and that we should be great gainers by taking a town, which one of our Kings had fold for two hundred thousand pounds, if it were only to fell again! Some military Counfellors thought otherwife ; but cedant arma toga was the word; and, in pursuance of his advice, the French were to be ferved with a writ of ejectment. But, fome how or other, it proved a writ of error ! The braveft army in the world carried on the ficge, and as brave a one covered its operations; but as there was nothing to cover the covering army, the perfidious French, whofe Punic faith is notorious, fell upon it unawares, killed great numbers, and, that they might no longer be called Sans-culottes, were bafe enough to ftrip the dead of their galligafkins. An heaven - born and immaculate Minifter was ftanding ftiff, erect, and mufing over the plan of Dunkirk, in the walls of which he had made a breach with the point of his compaffes-" If we keep it at the peace," faid he to himfelf, "it will be the ruin of the fmugglers if we give it up, it will be a fortune to fomebody!" At this moment a meflenger made his appearance. "Sir," faid the meffenger, the befieging army has taken"-" Dunkirk, no doubt?" faid the Minifter. "No, Sir," replied the meffenger, "the befieging army has taken flight. The covering army," added he, " has made"-" A glorious ftand, without difpute?" faid the Minifter, interrupting him again. "No, Sir," rejoined the meffenger, "the covering army has made off! As to the thot and fhells, the French have carried them into Dunkirk, and faved us the trouble of throwing them over the walls." *The plan of attacking Dunkirk is attributed to Lord Loughborough. The principal advantage gained by the enemy in this affair, was the poffibility of coming at the Dutch, a nation that wears five or fix pair of breeches apiece, and is therefore the beft game that can be purfued by the Sans-culottes. Our worthy allies, at whom we laugh alike, whether they fight or run away, had often manifefted their ftrength; and it remained for them on this occafion to thew their speed; which, according to Homer, Hudibras, and other grave men, is not the leaft neceffary qualification for a warrior. As Atalanta of old delayed her fleet purfuer by throwing a rich temptation on his road, or as the caftor is faid to fatisfy the hunter by leaving his odoriferous burden behind him; fo did the Dutch let drop their breeches in fucceffion, to favour their efcape. The laft pair, rich and redolent with gold of various coinage, was fuch a load to the purfuers, that they gave up the chafe the young Prince, who was foremost in the race, went home to be breeched again; and it is fuppofed his troops will follow for the fame purpofe. But let not our countrymen defpond on hearing of events, which, if properly confidered, are of no fort of confequence. The ground we loft was not our own; the men who were killed were luckily Heffians and Hanoverians, and will foon be paid for; and the French have promised to send us back our balls. SIR, THE HE following fragment I found amongst fome old records relating to the kingdom of Lilliput: it appears to be a part of the hiftory of that kingdom. If you think it, or any part of it, worth infertion, it is at your fervice. I am, Sir, Your humble fervant, CHARLES GULLIVER. -The kingdom at this time was univerfally convulfed. The King had iffued out his mandate to affemble the Grand Senate inftantly; whilft the national militia militia were embodied and frightened out of their wits; as an infurrection was fuppofed to exift in the very heart of the kingdom. I fay fuppofed, but indeed there was good proof of it; as a man, with a red night-cap on his head, had been seen to walk feveral times paft the Prime Minifter's window, one evening at dusk. Billy Shallow, the Prime Minifter, now wrote a very alarming fpeech, giving a horrid account of this infurrection, which the King delivered at the opening of the Grand Senate. The war-whoop of alarm was founded from the throne to the cottage. The nobles trembled for their titles; the whole band of placemen and penfioners flood aghaft; and the old women locked up. their cats, for fear they fhould be eaten by the fwine, for the want of other food. Affociations were formed of placemen, penfioners, informers, and bill-ftickers, for the purpofe of preferving the Conftitution (meaning their places and penfions), with Inquifitor Ninny, Efq. at their head, who very fagacioufly found out, that ten thoufand men, with red caps, and without breeches, were concealed in fome gravel-pits near the metropolis of the kingdom; and every man who dared to deny fo evident a fact, was ftigmatized as an enemy to mankind and his country. Debates now ran high in the House of Tools, which formerly confifted of a number of independent gentlemen, freely elected by the people at large to take care of their freedom, and to control the Government in any act which tended to prejudice the real interests of the nation: but the Ministers of late years have been fo immaculate, and fo extremely virtuous, that this check has become unneceffary. The majority of the Houfe now confifts of men appointed partly by the Minifter, and partly by the great Lords, whofe bufinefs is to give the formality of a legal fanction to the acts of the Minister, which otherwife would not quite accord with apparent law. A party who conftantly oppofe the Minifter; always exifts in the Houfe, which may be divided into three claffes, viz. thofe thofe who growl because the Minister won't admit them into place; thofe who bawl and make a great noife, in hopes of inducing the Minifter to flop their mouths with a loaf or a fifh; and a third clafs (which confifts of very few indeed), who have the real interefts of the people folely in view. But enough of digreffion. Debates ran high in the Houfe: the Miniftry, who, notwithstanding they had the evidence of the red nightcap, and had made a ftrict fearch throughout the kingdom, could not find the fo-much-talked-of infurrection, now confidently afferted the fact of the ten thousand men being concealed in the gravel-pits, whilst the Oppofition as confidently denied it. But the Minister's faithful majority concurred with him in an address to the Throne, approving of the exertions which had been made to repel the infurrection. This æra was rendered remarkable by Ned Rhapfodie, Will Logic, and fome others of the Houfe of Tools (who had been strenuous opponents of Billy Shallow), dreaming of red caps. and calves' heads, which fo terrified them, that they fled, tremblingly alarmed, to the fide of the Minifter, for protection against fuch bugbears. The debates were likewife high in the Houfe of Grand Tools, which, it fhould be obferved, is formed, with refpect to majority and minority, in the fame manner as the Houfe of Tools. Here, likewife, the Minifter's faithful majority concurred in the fame measure as his band in the Houfe of Tools. The Duke of Turncoat, Lord Prateapace, Lord Noodle, and fome others in the Houfe of Grand Tools, were frightened in the fame manner as Ned Rhapfodie and the others.. Lord Prateapace, in particular, was fo extremely alarmed, that he jumped into the Prefident's chair for protection. Billy Shallow now having his measures fanctioned by legal formality, turned his thoughts to a war with the Galligafkins, of whom it will be here neceffary to fpeak.. The Ga ligafkin nation had for fome centuries been obliged to eat their foup with the wrong end of the Spoon, |