Page images
PDF
EPUB

we had a little paradise together: he lay on a couch in the study, and, though often changing posture, was sweetly pleasant, and frequently slept a good while. When awake, he delighted in hearing me read hymns and tracts on Faith and Love. His words were all animating, and his patience beyond expression. When he had any nauseous medicines to take, he seemed to enjoy the cross, according to a word he used often to repeat, that we are to seek a perfect conformity to the will of God, and leave him to give us what comfort he sees good. I asked him, whether he had any advice to leave me, if he should be taken from me? He replied, ‘1 have nothing particular to say, the Lord will open all before thee.' I said, 'Have you any conviction that God is about to take you?' He said, 'No, not in particular; only I always see death so inexpressibly near, that we both seem to stand on the verge of eternity.' While he slept a little, I besought the Lord, if it were his good pleasure, to spare him to me a little longer: but my prayer seemed to have no wings, and I could not help mingling continually therewith, Lord, give me perfect resignation.' This uncertainty made me tremble, lest God was going to put into my hand the bitter cup, with which he lately threatened my husband. Some weeks before, I myself was ill of the fever. My husband then felt the whole parting scene, and struggled for perfect resignation. He said, 'O Polly, shall I ever see the day when thou must be carried out to be buried? How will the little things which thy tender care has prepared for me in every part of the house, how will they wound and distress me? How is it? I think I feel jealousy! I am jealous of the worms. I seem to shrink at giving my dear Polly to the worms!'

6

"Now all these reflections returned upon my heart with the weight of a millstone. I cried to the Lord, and those words were deeply impressed on my spirits, Where I am, there shall my servants be, that they may behold my glory.' This promise was full of comfort to my soul. I saw, I saw, that in Christ's immediate presence was our home, and that we should find our re-union in being deeply centred in him. I

received it as a fresh marriage for eternity. As such, I trust for ever to hold it. All that day, whenever I thought on that expression, to behold my glory, it seemed to wipe away every tear, and was as the ring whereby we were joined

anew.

"Awaking some time after, he said, 'Polly, I have been thinking, it was Israel's fault, that they asked for signs. We will not do so, but, abandoning our whole selves into the hands of God, we will lie patiently before him, assured that he will do all things well.'

"My dear Love,' said I, 'if ever I have done or said any thing to grieve thee, how will the remembrance wound my heart, shouldst thou be taken from me!'

"He intreated and charged me, with inexpressible tenderness, not to allow the thought; declaring his thankfulness for our union, in a variety of words written on my heart as with the adamantine pen of friendship.

"On Wednesday, after groaning all day under the weight of the power of God, he told me he had received such a manifestation of the full meaning of those words, 'God is Love,' as he could never be able to tell. It fills me,' said he, "every moment. O Polly, my dear Polly, God is Love. Shout, shout aloud! I want a gust of praise to go to the ends of the earth. But it seems as if I could not speak much longer. Let us fix on a sign between ourselves, (tapping me twice with his finger,) now I mean, 'God is Love.' And we will draw each other into God. Observe! By this we will draw each other into God.'

"Sally coming in, he cried out, 'O Sally, God is Love. Shout both of you: I want to hear you shout his praise.' All this time the medical friend who diligently attended him, hoped he was in no danger; as he had no bad head-ache, much sleep, without the least delirium, and an almost regular pulse. So was the disease, though commissioned to take his life, restrained by the power of God.

"On Thursday his speech began to fail. able, he spoke to all that came in his way.

While he was

Hearing that a

stranger was in the house, he ordered her to be called up, though uttering two sentences almost made him faint. To his friendly doctor he would not be silent, while he had any power of speech. After saying, 'O Sir, you take much thought for my body: give me leave to take thought for your soul.' When I could scarcely understand any thing he said, I spoke these words, 'God is Love.' Instantly, as if all his powers were awakened, he broke out in a rapture, 'God is Love! Love! O for that gust of praise I want to sound!'-Here his voice again failed. He suffered many ways; but with such patience, as none but those then present can conceive. If I named his sufferings, he would smile, and make the sign.

[ocr errors]

"On Friday, finding his body covered with spots, I felt a sword pierce through my soul. As I was kneeling by his side, with my hand in his, entreating the Lord to be with us in this tremendous hour, he strove to say many things, but could not pressing my hand, and often repeating the sign. At last he breathed out, Head of the Church, be Head to my wife!' When, for a few moments, I was forced to leave him, Sally said to him, 'My dear Master, do you know me?' He replied, 'Sally, God will put his right hand under you.' She added, 'O my dear Master, should you be taken away, what a disconsolate creature will my poor dear Mistress be?' He replied, God will be her all in all.' He had always delighted much in these words,

'Jesu's blood through earth and skies,

Mercy, free, boundless mercy cries.'

Whenever I repeated them to him, he would answer, Boundless! boundless! boundless! He now added, though with great difficulty,

Mercy's full power I soon shall prove,
Lov'd with an everlasting love.'

"On Saturday afternoon his fever seemed quite off, and a few friends standing near the bed, he reached his hand to each, and looking on a Minister, said, 'Are you ready to

+

assist to-morrow?' His recollection surprised us, as the day of the week had not been named in his room. Many believed he would recover: and one said, Do you think the Lord will raise you up?' He strove to answer, saying, "Raise me in the resur'-meaning in the resurrection. To another, asking the same question, he said, 'I leave it all to God.'

"In the evening, the fever returned with violence, and the mucus falling on his throat almost strangled him. It was supposed the same painful emotion, would grow more and more violent to the last. As I felt this exquisitely, I cried to the Lord to remove it; and, glory be to his name, he did. From that time it returned no more. As night drew on, I perceived him dying very fast. His fingers could hardly make the sign, (which he scarce ever forgot) and his speech seemed quite gone. I said, 'My dear creature, I ask not for myself, I know thy soul; but for the sake of others, if Jesus is very present with thee, lift thy right hand.' He did. If the prospect of glory sweetly opens before thee, repeat the sign.' He immediatly raised it again: and in half a minute, a second time: he then threw it up, as if he would reach the top of the bed. After this, his dear hands moved no more: but on my saying, 'Art thou in much pain?' he answered, 'No.' From this time he lay in a kind of sleep, though with his eyes open and fixed. For the most part he sat upright against pillows, with his head a little inclining to one side: and so remarkably composed and triumphant was his countenance, that the least trace of death was scarcely discernible in it.

"Twenty-four hours he was in this situation, breathing like a person in common sleep. About thirty-five minutes past ten, on Sunday night, Aug. 14th, his precious soul entered into the joy of his Lord, without one struggle or groan, in the fifty-sixth year of his age.

"And here I break off my mournful story: but on my bleeding heart the fair picture of his heavenly excellence will be for ever drawn. When I call to mind his ardent zeal, his laborious endeavours to seek and to save the lost,

his diligence in the employment of his time, his Christ-like condescension towards me, and his uninterrupted converse with heaven; I may well be allowed to add, my loss is beyond the power of words to paint. I have gone through deep waters: but all my afflictions were nothing compared to this. Well: I want no pleasant prospect, but upwards; nor any thing whereon to fix my hope, but immortality.

"On the 17th, his dear remains were deposited in Madeley Church-yard, amid the tears and lamentations of thousands. The service was performed by the Rev. Mr. Hatton, Rector of Waters-Upton, whom God enabled to speak in a pathetic manner to his weeping flock. In the conclusion, at my request, he read the following paper.

"As it was the desire of my beloved husband to be buried in this plain manner, so, out of tenderness, he begged that I might not be present. And in all things I would obey him.

"Permit me, then, by the mouth of a friend, to bear my open testimony, to the glory of God, that I, who have known him in the most perfect manner, am constrained to declare, that I never knew any one to walk so closely in the ways of God as he did. The Lord gave him a conscience tender as the apple of an eye. He literally prefered the interest of every one to his own.

"He was rigidly just, but perfectly loose from all attachment to the world. He shared his all with the Poor, who lay so close to his heart, that at the approach of death, when he could not speak without difficulty, he cried out, O my Poor! What will become of my Poor?' He was blessed with so great a degree of humility, as is scarce to be found. I am witness, how often he has rejoiced, in being treated with contempt. Indeed it seemed the very food of his soul, to be little and unknown. When he desired me to write a line to his brother, if he died, I replying, I will write him all the Lord's dealings with thee;' 'No, no,' said he: write nothing about me. I only desire to be forgotten. God is all.'

[ocr errors]

6

"His zeal for souls I need not tell you. Let the labours of twenty-five years, and a martyr's death in the 'conclusion,

[ocr errors]
« EelmineJätka »