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Refolution. to marry, I'll venture it, I think. Let me see, what wise, sagacious people are there of my acquaintance ?-Oh-my two neighbours, Dr. Neverout, and Dr. Doubty; men of universal learning! Ill go to them directly. And here is Dr. Neverout coming out of his house very fortunately.

Neverout, [talking to one in the house.] I tell you, friend, you are a silly fellow, ignorant of all good discipline, and fit to be banished from the Affectation republic of letters. I will undertake to demonof learning strate to you by convincing arguments, drawn from the writings of Aristotle himself, the philosopher of philosophers, that ignarus es, you are an ignorant fellow; that ignarus eras, you was an ignorant fellow; that ignarus fuisti, you have been an ignorant fellow; that ignarus fueras, you had been an ignorant fellow; and that, ignarus eris, you will be an ignorant fellow, through all the genders, cases, numbers, voices, moods, tenses, and persons, of all the articles, the nouns, the pronouns, the verbs, the participles, the adverbs, prepositions, interjections, and conjunctions. ¡

Anger.

Wonder.

Civility.

Contempt.

Learned pride.

Civility.

Contempt.
Pride.

Longh. Somebody must have used him very ill, to make him call so many hard names. Dr. Neverout, your servant. A word with you, if you please, Sir.

Nev. You pretend to reason! You don't so much as know the first elements of the art of reasoning. You don't know the difference between a category and a predicament, nor between a major and a minor.

Longh. His passion blinds him so, he does not see me. Doctor, I kiss your hands. May

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Nev. Do you know what a blunder you have committed? Do you know, what it is to be guilty of a syllogism in Balordo? Your major is foolish,

your minor impertinent, and your conclusion ri

diculous.

Longh. Pray, Doctor, what is it, that so dis- Inquiring. turbs your philosophy?

Nev. The most atrocious provocation in the world. An ignorant fellow would defend a proposition the most erroneous, the most abominable, the most execrable that ever was uttered or written.

Anger.
Pride.

Longh. May I ask, what it is?

Inquiring.

Reproach.

Nev. Mr. Longhead, all is ruined. The Apprehen. world is fallen into a general depravity. A degree of licentiousness, that is alarming, reigns universally and the governors of states have reason to be ashamed of themselves, who have power in their hands for maintaining good order among mankind, and suffer such enormities to pass unpunished.

Longh. What is it, pray, Sir?

Nev. Only think, Mr. Longhead, only think, that in a christian country, a person should be allowed to use an expression publicly, that one would think would frighten a nation; an expression, that one would expect to raise the devil! Only think of "The form of a hat !"-There, Amazement Mr. Longhead, there's an expression for you! Did you think you should have lived to hear such an expression as-" The form of a hat ?"

66

Inquiring.
Accufing.

Longh. How, Sir? I don't understand where- Inquiring. in the harm of such an expression consists.

Nev. I affirm and insist upon it, with hands and feet, pugnis et calcibus, unguibus et, rostro, that to say, "The form of a hat," is as absurd, as to say, that, datur vacuum in rerum natura, there is a vacuum in nature. [Turning again to the person with whom he had been disputing in the house.] Yes, ignorant creature, a hat is Difpleafurè an inanimate substance, and therefore form can- Contempt. not be predicated of it. Go, illiterate wretch, and read Aristotle's chapter of qualities. Go, study

Learned pride.

Pofitive.

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Aquinas, Burgersdicius, and Scheiblerus, of the ten predicaments. Go; and then say "The form of a hat," if you dare.

Longh. O, I thought, Doctor, something worse than all this had happened. Apprehen. Nev. What would you have worse, unless a Oftentation comet were to come from beyond the orbit of of learning. Saturn, and either burn the world by its near approach; drown it by attracting the sea, and raising a tide three miles high; or force it from its orbit by impinging against it, and make it either fly out into infinite space, or rush to the sun the centre of our system. Except this, what Apprehen. can be worse than confounding language, destroying qualities, demolishing predicaments, and in short overturning all science from the foundation. For logic is the foundation of science. Longh. Why, it may be a bad thing for whatI know. But, pray, Doctor, let a body speak with you.

Satisfaction

Intreating.

Nev. [To the person in the house,] An impertinent fellow !

Longh. He is so; but I want your advice, Doctor, in

Nev. A blockhead!

Longh. Well, I own he is so; but no more of that, pray good Doctor.

Nev. To pretend to dispute with me !

vice.

Longh. He is very much in the wrong, to be sure. But now let me ask you a question, DocAfking ad- tor. You must know, Sir, that I have been thinking of marrying. Only I am a little afraid of that, you know of; the misfortune for which no body is pitied. Now, I should be glad you would, as a philosopher, give me your opinion on this point.

Anger.

Intreating.

Anger.

Intreating.

Pride.
Intreating.

Anger.

Nev. Rather than admit such an expression, I would deny substantial forms, and abstract entities.

Vexation.

Longh. Plague on the man! He knows nothRemonftr. ing of what I have been saying. Why, Dr.

Neverout, I have been talking to you this hour,

7

and you give me no answer.

Nev. I ask your pardon. I was engaged in Apology. supporting truth against ignorance: but now I have done. If what I have said will not convince, let the ignorant be ignorant still. What would you consult me upon ?

Longh. I want to talk with you about an affair Intreating. of consequence.

Nev. Good. And what tongue do you in- Inquiring. tend to use in the conversation with me?

Longh. What tongue ? Why, the tongue I Wonder. have in my mouth.

Nev. I mean, what language; what speech? Inquiring. Do you intend to talk with me in Latin, Greek, or Hebrew ?

Longh. Not I. I don't know one of them from another.

Nev. Then you will use a modern language, InquiringI suppose, as the Italian, perhaps, which is sweet

and musical.

Wonder.

Longh. No.

Vexation.

Nev. The Spanish, which is majestic and so- Inquiring.

morous.

Longh. No.

Vexation.

Nev. The English, which is copious and ex- Inquiring. pressive.

Longh. No.

Vexation.

Nev. The High dutch is but an indiferent Inquiring. language. You won't, I suppose, make use of it in this conversation.

Longh. No.

Vexation.

Nev. And the Low Dutch is worse still. Inquiring. Will you talk to me in Turkish ? It is a lofty

language. Longh. No.

Vexation.

Nev. What think you of the Syriac, the Ara- Inquiring. bic, the Chaldaic, the Persian, the Palmyrene ? Do you choose any of them ?

Longh. No.

X

Vexation.

Inquiring.

Vexation.

now.

Nev. Oh! you will speak in the vernacular tongue ? If so, please to come on the left side. The right ear is for the foreign, and the learned languages.

Vexation.

Longh. Here is a deal of ceremony with such Intreating. sort of people. I want to consult you, Doctor, about an affair of consequence. You want my

Affectation Nev. O! I understand you. of learning. opinion upon some of the difficulties in philosophy, as, for example, Whether substance and accident, are terms synonymous or equivocal, with regard to the being?

Satisfaction

Learned pride.

Vexation.

Affectation.

Vexation.

Longh. No that is not it.

Nev. Whether Logic is an art, or a Science?
Longh. No no. I don't care a half-penny

which.

Affectation. Nev. If it has for its object the three operations of the mind, or the third only.

Longh. That is not the affair.

Ne. Whether, properly speaking, there are six categories, or only one ?

Longh. I don't care, if there were six bushels of catechisms. That is not what I want.

I

am

Vexation.

Affectation.

Vexation.

Nev. What language then ?
Longh. Why the language we are talking

Affectation.

Nev. Perhaps you want to know whether the conclusion is of the essence of the syllogism?

Longh. No, no, no. It is not about any such point; butAffectation. Nev. Whether the essence of good is appetibility or suitableness?

Vexation. Longh. I am going to tell you my business,

if

Affectation. Nev. You would know, perhaps, if the good and the end are reciprocal ? Longh. Not a bit.

Nev. Whether the end influences us by its real essence, or by its intentional ?

Vexation.

Vexation.

Affectation.

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