And, madam, I always believ'd you' so stout, Dear madam, whene'er of a barrack I think, An' I were to be hang'd I can't sleep a wink; For if a new crotchet comes into my brain, I can't get it out, tho' I'd never so fain. I fancy already a barrack contriv'ď At Hamilton's Bawn, and the troop is arriv'd: Of this, to be sure, Sir Arthur has warning, And waits on the captain betimes the next morning. 1 3 Now see when they meet how their honours behave: Noble captain! your servant-Sir Arthur! your slave. You honour me much-The honour is mine'Twas a sad rainy night-but the morning is fine Pray how does my lady?-My wife's at your serviceI think I have seen her picture by JarvisGood-morrow, good captain!-I'll wait on you downYou sha'n't stir a foot-You'll think me a clown For all the world, captain, not half an inch further- • Go bring me my smock, and leave off your prate; Thou hast certainly gotten a cup in thy pate.' 'Pray, madam, be quiet; what was it I said? You had like to have put it quite out of my head.' • Next day, to be sure, the captain will come At the head of his troop, with trumpet and drum... Now, madam, observe how he marches in state; The man with the kettle-drum enters the gate : Dub, dub, a-dub, dub. The trumpeters follow; Tantara, tantara; while all the boys holla. See now comes the captain all daub'd with gold lace: O law! the sweet gentleman! look in his face; And see how he rides like a lord of the land, : r With the fine flaming sword that he holds in his hand; : The captain, to shew he is proud of the favour, Because he has never a hand that is idle, For the right holds the sword, and the left holds the bridle,) Then flourishes thrice his sword in the air, (How I tremble to think of the blood it hath spilt!) 'Kit, run to your master, and bid him come to us; I'm sure he'll be proud of the honour you do us : And, captain, you'll do us the favour to stay, And take a short dinner here with us to day: You're heartily welcome; but as for good cheer, You come in the very worst time of the year: If I had expected so worthy a guestLord! madam! your ladyship sure is in jest ; You banter me, madam-the kingdom must grant You officers, captain, are so complaisant "Hist, hussy! I think I hear somebody coming." No, madam; 'tis only Sir Arthur a-humming. 'To shorten my tale, (for I hate a long story,) The captain at dinner appears in his glory: The dean and the doctor have humbled their pride, For the captain's entreated to sit by your side; And, because he's their betters, you carve for him first; The parsons for envy are ready to burst : The servants, amazed, are scarce ever able To keep off their eyes as they wait at the table; And Molly and I have thrust in our nose To peep at the captain in all his fine clo'es. Dear madam! be sure he's a fine spoken man; Do but hear on the clergy how glib his tongue ran: And madam, says he, if such dinners you give, You'll never want parsons as long as you live; I ne'er knew a parson without a good nose, But the devil's as welcome wherever he goes. Why d-me, they bid us reform and repent, But, z-s, by their looks they never keep lent. Mister Curate, for all your grave looks, I'm afraid You cast a sheep's eye on her ladyship's maid; I wish she would lend you her pretty white hand In mending your cassock and smoothing your band: (For the dean was so shabby, and look'd like a ninny, That the captain suppos'd he was curate to Jenny.*) • Never since I was born did I hear so much wit, And, madam, I laugh'd, till I thought I should split : So then you look'd scornful, and snift at the dean, As who should say, Now, am I skinny and lean?† But he durst not so much as open his lips, And the doctor was plaguily down in the hips.' Thus merciless Hannah ran on in her talk, Till she heard the dean call, Will your ladyship walk? Her ladyship answers, I am just coming down:' Then turning to Hannah, and forcing a frown, Altho' it was plain in her heart she was glad, Cry'd Hussy! why sure the wench is gone mad: How could these chimeras get into your brains ?Come hither, and take this old gown for your pains. But the dean, if this secret should come to his ears, Will never have done with his gibes and his jeers : For your life, not a word of the matter, I charge ye, Give me but a barrack, a fig for the clergy.' * The Doctor's name was Jenny. + A Nick-name for my lady. |